Can a Reasonable Person Find Love?

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Nicky Demitry '26
Staff Editor

Ashanti Jones '26
Staff Editor

In the time since women gained the right to open a bank account, vote, and have control over their own bodies, the constructs of love have shifted in America. The ways in which we can form romantic relationships are much broader, which I think is exciting. You can keep the bits from ye olden times that you like (open bar wedding!) and dispense with the ones you don’t (taking a man’s weird last name)! That said, some things about romance never change, and that’s the inherent cringe of it all. As I walked up to the event, I found myself wishing for the first time ever that we had satirical Law Weekly press badges, just so people would know that I was there ~ironically~. How cowardly of me.[1]

Pictured: Med School advertisting for the Valentine's Day Mixer
Photo Credit: Nicky Demitry '26

But UVA grad students are persistent! And uncowed by extremely well-lit venues.[2] The event was well-attended, particularly by the Medical School. And this is where a respectable amount of plot began to emerge because the medical students were tricked into attendance with promises of a $1,000 bar tab, as well as alleged prizes and games.[3]Promises which were notably absent from the A-School and Law School invites.[4]

Paul, a friend from college and fourth-year med student whom I was very excited to randomly run into, said, “Yeah, the marketing for the event said there was a tab for food and drinks, so my friends and I showed up right at 7 p.m. to try and circumvent the ravenous grad student crowd. The bartender was very confused at the mention of a tab, but we thought maybe the tab just wasn’t for med students. We told our other med student friends to lie and say they were law students, but there was no tab for them either. A few of my single classmates were excited to meet the elusive ‘hot Darden guys,’ but canonically, everyone stuck tightly to their circles of five to seven peers. Nevertheless, love was in the air.”[5]

Other med students also had some choice words about this trickery, but all refused to be quoted, which was funny because their choice words were absolutely not offensive. For example: “Oh man, yeah, we were tricked!” And when asked if they were enjoying the event, most said, “What?” This was also the response to my question about whether faking chest pain still works to skip the line at the ER. Tame and level-headed was the med school vibe. This bodes well for their future as romantic partners.

The way I feel about dating is the way many people have felt about my attending law school. It’s always some version of, "So Nicky, why go to law school, a ruinously expensive venture that at best grants you entry into a miserable profession where most people are horribly overworked, the substance abuse rate is over 66 percent, and the divorce rate second only to casino managers? Is law still a viable career path given that our society will likely see massive foundational unrest and shifts in the next fifty years that could render our entire view of not just the concept of law, but the very relationship of person to society an obsolete relic of a previous time?” Haha, great question(s)! I have no answer. Other than the immortal words of Charlotte from Pride & Prejudice: “I'm twenty-seven years old. I've no money and noprospects. I'm already a burden to my parents. And I'm frightened.”

Ennui about love and career aside, I think it’s very nice that there have been more events with the other graduate schools at UVA, and this perspective was shared by other students at the event. Caitlin Clarke ’26 said, “I thought the event was so much fun. It's always nice to get out of the Law School bubble and meet new people. I got to hear about a day in the life of a med student. We're here studying theory about property and con law, they're dissecting cadavers and assisting in labor and delivery a mile away. It was a great way to spend Valentine's Day and I'm sure there are some power couples in the making after the mixer.” I, for one, am very relieved we gave the med students a chance to have Valentines who weren’t cadavers. <3

Life can be very isolating, as can graduate programs. It’s easy to forget the magic of connecting with someone, romantic or not, especially when there is a constant barrage of journal tryouts, summer plans, interviews, outlines, etc. But as Toni Morrison said, “It's not possible to constantly hold on to crisis. You have to have the love and you have to have the magic.” From simple observation alone, I can’t tell how many moments of magic or ~love connections~ were forged, but there was certainly an abundance of conversation and laughter. And it’s always nice to get brought back to reality when you’re met with blank stares verging on outright judgment when you and a section mate start discussing the frustrations of statutory interpretation.[6] Plus, as Paul said, “Nothing screams self-love like being lied to about a bar tab and then buying your own drink!” I’d argue that we could distill that down to, “Nothing says love like being lied to and then drinking,” but that’s just me.

If you did meet the love of your life at this event, let us know! We will personally take you to an even brighter venue to test your love further—maybe under the blinding lights of an OR? Since statistically, you probably fell for a med student. At any rate, here’s to getting through the rest of the semester, and hopefully to a continued collegiality/awkward middle school dance vibe with the other schools. Thanks for putting this together, SBA. You are my Valentine, even though I think most of our dates could be emails (but that’s just my own avoidant attachment. I’m afraid of just how much I want to be at those meetings).

p.s. I didn’t meet a single Darden person at this event, and I was on the alert specifically for Patagonia vests. What gives? Was there a competing Deloitte-sponsored mixer no one told us about? Did someone scare them away by saying there was a limit on IPAs? Rude.

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ncd8kt@virginia.edu
alj3emz@virginia.edu

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[1] Maybe this is why I will die alone.

[2] As a veteran bartender I can tell you, bar feng shui is a thing. And if you’re gonna have a super brightly lit event, consider access to liquor? Granted, I am projecting my own preference for goblin bars, but really, dim lighting makes it much easier to make a cute lil love connection. But that’s just me, and ultimately, I am Just a Girl.

[3] Do med students have a case for recovery based on promissory estoppel? Discuss.

[4] Albeit I was tricked into attending by friends that claimed they needed moral support, only to back out after I had already agreed to cover the event for this paper.

[5] Paul absolved himself of my ire for missing the Galentine’s party at my apartment the next night by giving me this quote to use and reminding me that, “maybe that’s what Galentine’s is all about. Realizing even the gays are still men.”

[6] One med student: “Are you even talking about something real right now?” Honestly valid. Immediately humbled.

The Rest of the Story: John Kirby Jr. '66

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Ryan Moore '25
Historian

I grew up listening to legendary radio reporter Paul Harvey every afternoon. As the child of a single mother, my grandma played a significant role in raising my brother and I. Every day, my grandma drove us to the Metro Parks for an afternoon walk. And every day, grandma played Harvey’s ABC News broadcast. For 57 years, Paul Harvey dominated America’s airwaves. Millions of Americans tuned in daily. In the afternoons, Harvey would broadcast a segment titled “The Rest of the Story,” where he would circle back on previous reporting to update his listeners. Today, in honor of Harvey’s work, I bring you the “rest of the story” from my previous reporting on video game-legend and UVA Law grad John J. Kirby ‘66.[1] Before representing Nintendo and sailing on his $30,000 Donkey Kong sailboat, Kirby was a champion of civil and voting rights for African Americans.

Pictured: John Kirby, Jr. '66
Photo Credit: Merton College - Oxford

As a refresher, John Joseph Kirby, Jr. was born on October 22, 1939, in Falls Church, Virginia. His father was a lawyer with the US government for 40 years and helped establish the federal food stamp program and implement President Roosevelt’s New Deal legislation.[2] A Rhodes Scholar, Kirby attended Merton College at Oxford University after graduating from Fordham University.[3] At UVA Law, he won the 1966 Lile Moot Court competition and graduated the same year.

Kirby is most famous for his representation of Nintendo in a trademark case against Universal Studios over the video game character “Donkey Kong.”[4] In short, Kirby won the case, and Nintendo was allowed to continue using the name “Donkey Kong.”[5] Nintendo and video games as we know them would not exist without Donkey Kong and, in part, John J. Kirby.

But Kirby began his career fighting in the civil rights movement of the 1960s. As a summer intern in the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice, Kirby oversaw an FBI investigation into voting rights violations across the South.[6] Kirby’s investigation uncovered widespread evidence of voter suppression efforts targeting African Americans. This evidence was crucial in proving systemic, race-based voting rights violations and helped build the case for the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

After graduating from UVA, he worked as the special assistant to the head of the Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division.[7] At the Civil Rights Division, Kirby focused on police brutality cases and civil unrest. This work took him out from behind a desk and into the field. Kirby monitored numerous protests and riots in the 1960s, including riots in Detroit, Michigan in 1967, the March on the Pentagon against the Vietnam War and Memphis, Tennessee after the assassination of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. He also personally escorted African American children into desegregated schools, surrounded by members of the US Marshall Service.

Kirby left public service after witnessing the infamous 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, IL, where riot police mercilessly and indiscriminately beat everyone in sight, including onlookers, bystanders, and reporters.[8] Kirby spent the riot trying to identify individual police officers and record their badge numbers for later prosecution. The event so disillusioned him that he entered private practice, where he instead made a career in corporate litigation.

To quote the great Mr. Harvey: “now you know…the rest of the story.” And the rest of the story of John Kirby has left me melancholy. I have spent so much time researching and writing about this man’s life that I will miss him after this article is published. While Kirby remains most well known for his work representing Nintendo, I hope others will remember his career in public service. Kirby’s life is discussed further in his son’s award-winning documentary Four Died Trying, which captures the lives (and assassinations) of President Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Malcom X, and the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.[9]

As we graduate from UVA Law and leave Charlottesville to begin our careers, it is worth thinking about what kind of lawyers, and what kind of people, we want to be. What do we want to be known for? I’m reminded of some of Kirby’s last words, quoted in Four Died Trying: “[T]there were people who refused to be disillusioned. There are people who went to work and have done great things. There have been loads of people who, and some of them are younger, who were out on the front lines and trenches, working toward achieving better things for us, for the society."

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tqy7zz@virginia.edu

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[1] Ryan Moore, From UVA Law Student to Beloved Nintendo Character: The Story of John Kirby, Jr., The Virginia Law Weekly (Nov. 8, 2023).

[2] John Kirby, 89, Dies, Wash. Post (May 17, 1999).

[3] John Kirby, 1939-2019, Merton C. Oxford (October 9, 2019).

[4] Universal City Studios, Inc. v. Nintendo Co., Ltd., 578 F. Supp. 911 (1983).

[5] He even got a 27-foot sailboat named “Donkey Kong.”

[6] Gene Park, The real life inspiration for Nintendo’s Kirby battled for black voters, against police brutality, Wash. Post  (November 20, 2019).

[7] Id.

[8] Caitlin Gibson, What happened in Chicago in 1968, and why is everyone talking about it now?, Wash. Post (July 18, 2019).

[9] https://www.fourdiedtrying.com/about

Does Crypto Actually "Make Cents"?

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Noah Coco '26
Staff Editor

The story of “crypto” is one of alternating exuberance and retrenchment over the past several years. Fortunes have been made and lost, frothy runs have concluded in spectacular crashes accompanied by prison sentences for once-prominent operators in the industry. Amidst all this market tumult, however, apologists have persisted and continue to publicly advocate for the potential benefits that cryptocurrencies can deliver to society. Professor Eric Alston is one of these apologists.

Professor Alston is a Scholar in Residence at the Finance Division of the University of Colorado Boulder Leeds School of Business. On Friday, February 9, accompanied by the Darden School of Business’s own Assistant Professor Dennie Kim, Professor Alston presented a discussion titled “Making Cents of Crypto.” Throughout the casual discussion between Professors Alston and Kim, both the potential virtues as well as  the evident limitations on the widespread adoption of cryptocurrencies were on full display.

Professor Alston began by introducing cryptocurrencies as an alternative model to the traditional structure of financial systems characterized by trusted intermediaries with public institutional enforcement. The key to this traditional model, which is likely familiar to people within the United States, is public trust in the stability of both the underlying unit of account, i.e., the US Dollar, and of the institutions managing and enforcing this system. The phenomenon of cryptocurrencies as an alternative to this model is most salient in the context of countries where this traditional model tends to break down, whether through rampant inflation or through the forced appropriation of deposits by national governments (although these two mechanisms often work in tandem). Where are citizens of such countries to reliably deposit their earnings to remain out of reach by national governments? They can either hoard cash, or they can deposit their funds as cryptocurrencies on the public and transparent distributed ledgers provided by blockchains.[1]

As Professor Alston frames it, cryptocurrencies provide a different way to coordinate units of account on blockchains. Moreover, these network native units of account are reliably scarce (although this is not actually a universal feature of all cryptocurrencies). This means that they cannot be devalued through issuance of new units beyond a predetermined maximum supply, and they otherwise cannot be appropriated by governments because of the distributed nature of the blockchain ledgers. In theory, this would result in a stable and reliable unit of account that people can use to transact and, as Professor Alston noted, provide a mechanism for organizing the productive activities of society.

This, however, is the part of the crypto narrative where the limitations and challenges of the industry become most apparent. The first challenge, posed by a question from the audience, concerned the extreme price volatility of most cryptocurrencies. Even the casual observer would be familiar with the wild swings in the values of most popular cryptocurrencies. This speculation and general market exuberance is perhaps the reason that cryptocurrencies have come to occupy such a prominent space in public discourse to begin with. Professor Alston acknowledged this limitation as a consequence of the low barriers to entry and the potential for rapid gains in wealth in the cryptocurrency market. He postulated that of the over five thousand cryptocurrencies that currently exist, at least 90 percent of them need to fall away before volatility can begin to normalize. Furthermore, current issuers of cryptocurrencies are competing with each other over governance structures. With a crowded market of new entrants, Professor Alston contends, financiers have not yet efficiently channeled funding to the most competitive governance structures that will prove to be the most successful and attractive to consumers.

A second question challenged the premise that cryptocurrencies are reliably scarce, for reasons similar to those discussed above, in particular because of the very low costs to entry. How scarce are cryptocurrencies, really, if a new entrant can simply issue a new cryptocurrency? Professor Alston acknowledged this limitation as well, but he seemed content to respond that network effects will eventually consolidate users into a small number of cryptocurrencies that have a proven track record of stability. Much like the dot-com bubble, most unsuccessful or fraudulent cryptocurrencies will be weeded out during bear markets such that only the most resilient and stable remain.

A third challenge, tangential to this last point but not adequately addressed during the discussion, is that, thus far, many major cryptocurrency issuers or exchanges have also proven to be volatile and risky. The very institutions that administer this alternative financial system have proven to be either fraudulent[2] or prone to collapse through more traditional financial shocks.[3] Two problems emerge. The first is that the intermediaries that provide the services that allow the average person to engage with cryptocurrencies are often run by unsophisticated or even plainly fraudulent operators. This hinders trust in the institutions that issue and manage cryptocurrencies for consumers. The second is that many of these same intermediaries simply replicate the traditional model of financial services and are prone to the same risks that animate the traditional finance industry. On top of that, cryptocurrencies are even less regulated than traditional financial services (although this is starting to change) and pose a potentially greater risk of abuse from lack of oversight.

Although more implications of the deployment of cryptocurrencies were discussed, the three noted above seem to be the most consequential because they challenge the premises at the heart of what advocates propose is new and innovative about cryptocurrencies. It is likely too early to discount the entire industry, but it is clear that these fundamental limitations need to be worked out before cryptocurrencies can gain widespread adoption.

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cmz4bx@virginia.edu

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[1] This is, of course, a very stylized simplification of the decision faced by people living in countries suffering financial instability. Prof. Alston acknowledged at least one alternative option to simply hoarding cash: investing in cinder blocks. This practice apparently proliferates in several countries because the value of cinder blocks tends to keep pace with inflation and serves as a better store of value than cash.

[2] Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX, for example.

[3] The market run on Terra Luna, for example, although perhaps this collapse was also simply the result of a fraudulent Ponzi scheme.

Law Weekly Previews 2024 Journal Tryouts

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Ethan Brown ‘25
Features Editor

1Ls had the opportunity to kick off February by attending one of two sessions last week about one of the most quintessential UVA Law experiences—journal tryout. Led by the Virginia Law Review’s Membership Development Editor Mia Smutny ’24 and Membership Inclusion Editor Shontae Salmon ’24, the sessions provided valuable insight into how the journal process works, its two (writing and editing) components, and important dates on the horizon. Because I clearly exist on this planet to serve the 1Ls who can’t seem to make it to these meetings,[1] here is a helpful recap of all things 2024 Unified Journal Tryout.

First, while all interested 1Ls should read on for my acerbic wit, I highly encourage everyone to review the Journal Tryout Toolkit, too. This packet—developed each year by the tryout administrators—goes into more granular detail of the tryout than I could hope to in a single article. I relied heavily on the toolkit during my own tryout last year. If you have any questions about specialty journals, tryout timeline, or contact information when problems run up, I guarantee it’s in the toolkit.

The most important thing to know now is the tryout dates: February 23–26 and March 1–4. The whole process takes about a weekend to complete. The editing component runs from Friday afternoon to Saturday morning, in which participants have eight (self-timed) hours to Bluebook their way through an actual, real-life law review article purposefully littered with citation errors. Then, starting on Saturday afternoon and through Monday, participants do the writing component. In it, students will read roughly 200 pages of law review articles, cases, and other sources to ultimately write a persuasive argument about the topic therein, operating in a “closed universe” where only the materials provided may be used.

It sounds like a lot—and it is—but this year’s tryout is already more humane than in years past. This year, 1Ls can choose to divide their tryout across two weekends, doing the editing component on one and the writing component on the next (or vice versa). Or, for the old-fashioned experience, participants can still do both portions in one fell swoop, and pick either weekend to complete the entire thing. It was a polarizing decision last year whether to do the first or second weekend, but I chose to do my tryout the first weekend it was offered. I was nervous and wanted to get it over with, and I also did not want to sacrifice three days of spring break. But as with most things in law school, your mileage may vary.

After speaking with some of my 1L friends about journal tryouts, all their questions essentially seem to fall into the same two refrains: What, if anything, can I do to prepare for journal tryout? And is it worth it—will I even get on a journal anyways?

To answer the first question, there are certainly some things that participants can do to prepare for the tryout, but my main advice would be to think about what will best recharge you during the weekend. The tryout is not meant to take up all your waking hours—indeed, the editing component has a time limitation that prohibits you from doing so! Plan out time to sleep, eat, relax, exercise, and talk to your friends.[2] It is eminently possible to do an excellent job on the tryout without making yourself miserable in the process. Last year, I went for two runs, made myself food, FaceTimed my sister to whine, and watched four episodes of Outer Banks during the tryout. I have no shame.

Still, insofar as actual preparation is concerned, I recommend taking a gentle stroll through the Bluebook to refamiliarize yourself with the main rules and tables you might have seen last semester in LRW, and get access to the online Bluebook through the library’s complimentary subscription. Try out some of the exercises on Lexis’s online citation workspace. And if you have time, you can “tab” your physical Bluebook. This—like outlining—is something you should do for the process, not for the final product, because you probably won’t flip through your physical book much during the tryout itself if you have an online version. But I did find it very helpful to take an hour last year and force myself to remember each of the Bluebook’s main rules, something you must do when literally writing out their names on a sticky note.

And finally, with respect to the second question: yes, 1Ls, you will get on a journal and things will be okay. After you complete the tryout, you should first celebrate your hard work (yay!) but then consider which specialty journals you would like to apply to. You will have the option to rank your top three choices, at least one of which will hopefully extend you an invitation to join. I say this not in any official capacity, but I am unaware of anyone who—after putting in a good faith effort at the tryout and abiding by the tryout’s rules—did not eventually end up joining a journal. If you follow the rules and do your best, you should not let this process panic you.

Much more information about the journal tryout will be forthcoming. As the incoming membership development editor for VLR, I will be one of this year’s unified journal tryout administrators, so I am very happy to field any questions about the process as they come up—as are Mia and Shontae. But for now, all I can say is good luck!

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] See my article covering 1L and LL.M. Reorientation last week.

[2] Don’t talk about the journal tryout though! 1Ls are prohibited from speaking about the prompt or materials with anyone else while it is occurring—keep things confidential.

Nobody's Free Until Everybody's Free

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Darius Adel ‘24
Satire Editor

“Nobody’s Free Until Everybody's Free.”  - Fannie Lou Hamer

After listening to Robert Kennedy Jr.’s fireside chat last week, I was left with a mix of emotions. The most surprising one was disappointment. As Kennedy used our school’s platform to spout hateful propaganda against Muslims and Arabs, what astounded me most was the silence in the room. No one wanted to speak up even though we had just listened to almost an hour of discussion on the importance of free speech. It made me angry to see people doing little more than snickering as the man on stage dehumanized an entire people. It would be easy to criticize others for their indifference, but the fact is I’m no better.

Last fall, shortly after the Homer statue had a noose placed on it on Main Grounds, I was contacted, through the National Lawyers Guild, by undergraduate members of UVA’s Black Student Alliance (BSA) to provide legal aid for their upcoming protest. I had been wanting to do something in response to the horrible hate crime. To me, this was the perfect opportunity to use my legal skills to actually make some sort of difference.

I won’t go into the details of what occurred at the protest, but it was physically and emotionally draining for both the protesters and members of the legal aid team.  Even though I felt tired, the thanks I got from the undergraduate students made the hours out in the hot sun worth it. I felt that I had done what was expected of me as both a law student and an activist, I was giving back to the community and actually doing the work. But, I was wrong. At least in part.

Soon after the event, I attended a dinner with other student leaders led by Dean Goluboff. We discussed the work we did for the law community and the difficulties our respective communities faced. When the subject of the Homer noose hate crime came up, I stopped eating and got ready to talk about the aid work my organization and I had done for our fellow students. A friend of mine at the table spoke up and voiced his frustration with the UVA Law community. Not one student organization had reached out to him or the Black Law Students Association to check in and see what could be done to help our Black classmates.

I was initially confused by his comment. I had done my part, right? I spent the better part of a whole day helping undergraduate BSA students protesting for more information on the perpetrator of the hate crime. What I had actually done was less than the bare minimum. I had ignored the plight of the individual students in our own community. In a way, I had become desensitized to their pain. To me, this was a political issue, not a personally traumatic experience for my peers. I addressed it in a way I felt comfortable doing regardless of what was actually needed by the people I care about.

When the hate crime happened, I didn’t do the one thing I should have done which was reaching out to my classmates and finding out what they needed. How can I expect my peers to show solidarity in the face of hate when I myself failed to do so. Our gut reaction is to want to feel comfortable and safe, claiming we can do nothing of substance for others. But, it is not enough to retreat back into powerlessness. Trans people are being attacked, the right to get an abortion is being whittled away, and people of color continue to be seen as lesser than.

Intersectionality requires empathy. We have to be able to help others without getting anything in return. To view our respective communities transactionally is a tool of our oppressors. I share some of my experiences here so that you can hopefully learn from my mistakes. The vast majority of us will soon be in positions of immense power. It is up to us to do what we can for each other no matter where we come from.

While it may be uncomfortable or even scary to speak out against injustice, we owe it to others, past, present, and future. I implore you to start close to home. Check in with your friends, have those hard conversations. Not every action needs to be a heroic deed. Not every sacrifice needs to be martyrdom. To come out of your comfort zone for others is at the core of what's most needed. Intersectionality isn’t some sociological framework to toss into a law review article, it is a call to action.

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dsa7st@virginia.edu

Lets Get Reoriented: Student Affairs Talks 1L Spring

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Ethan Brown ‘25
Features Editor

On Tuesday, January 23, this tired 2L did something deserving of a medal: I voluntarily sat through Student Affairs’ “Reorientation for 1Ls and LL.M. Students.” Surrounded by throngs of plucky 1Ls dying to hear if they’re going to flunk out of UVA Law because they got a B+ in Torts,[1] I listened to Deans Goluboff and Davies describe to students the various obstacles of the spring semester, offering words of encouragement about the same.

I remember the class of 2025’s Reorientation last year quite well—namely, how much everybody hated it. Last year’s Reorientation largely centered around a panel of three UVA Law alumni who talked at us about how miserable legal practice is—surely a valid topic, but not exactly what you want to hear when you’re already feeling a little negative about returning to school after a bruising 1L fall.

So even though it wasn’t my dream way of spending half an hour on a Tuesday afternoon, I was at least a little interested in seeing if Student Affairs had tweaked things from last year. And to my welcome surprise, this year’s Reorientation did seem better, both in content and audience reception. Most of the 1Ls I spoke to about the event didn’t have the same vitriol that last year’s meeting attracted.

Dean Risa Goluboff spoke first. Echoing many of the sentiments she expressed last year, Dean Goluboff reminded the 1Ls and LL.M.s present that the first semester of law school is meant to be hard—and that there is no shame in feeling that way. She noted that after her first semester, she too feared that she wasn’t getting the whole “thinking like a lawyer” thing. But obviously, with time, it clicked. She encouraged students to be patient until it does for them too.

Dean Goluboff also touched on the frustrations that many 1Ls feel after taking four months of Civil Procedure, Contracts, Criminal Law, and Torts, all of which might feel distantly removed from the topics that brought students to UVA Law in the first place. She said that these courses—even if they aren’t the sexiest in the world—help form a solid foundation for students’ legal education, a foundation that will no doubt help them in their elective classes this spring. 1Ls are eligible to take up to seven credits of electives in areas of personal interest, a tantalizing prospect but one that segued nicely into Dean Goluboff’s next point. It is impossible to do everything at UVA Law, and she cautioned students against biting off more than they could chew.

Indeed, there is a lot for 1Ls to chew on this semester, as Assistant Dean for Student Affairs Sarah Davies ’91 and Student Affairs Director Megan Durkee ’15 made clear. Once Dean Goluboff had concluded her remarks by encouraging 1Ls to seize the exciting months ahead of them—and by strongly reminding 1Ls that their fall grades do not define them[2]—Student Affairs took over to outline the items on the agenda until May. The list is long. 1Ls this semester face two heavy doctrinal lifts in Constitutional Law and Property; classes for the first time with 2Ls (gasp) and 3Ls (bigger gasp); journal tryouts in February and March; student organization leadership elections; job applications; networking events; LRW briefing and oral arguments; the list goes on.

Dean Davies cautioned the importance of staying sane during all of these events. Even during things as daunting as the journal tryout, take time to talk with friends, exercise, shower, sleep, eat, and relax. She said that the same logic should dictate for every other event during the semester, which as someone who has recently gone through the gauntlet of 1L spring, I wholeheartedly endorse.

Keeping to a tight hour-long presentation, Dean Davies then invited four UVA Law alumni—Joe Charlet ’18, Jonathan York ’18, Dascher Pasco ’18, and Rambert Tyree ’22—to the stage. Your humble writer left just a few minutes after they began talking because he got hungry. But I am sure they offered similar advice to Deans Goluboff and Davies: Keep calm, take a deep breath, and do your best.

As a closing message, I will offer my own unsolicited Reorientation advice. 1L spring is hard. I found the second semester of law school to be much more challenging; much of 1L fall is laid out for you, whereas the spring semester is the first chance to truly make UVA Law “yours.” This is exciting to be sure, but scary—how can anyone, after just four months of study, know what paths to start taking and which ones to leave temporarily unexplored?

To that, I say: please lean on the 2Ls and 3Ls around you. Law students are narcissists who love to talk about themselves, including their study strategies, favorite professors, relaxation techniques, and everything in between. I feel so grateful to the upperclassman who helped me navigate the spring last year, and I don’t know a single 2L who doesn’t relish the opportunity now to repay the favor. So please—let us help you, whether it be over coffee, or through a reassuring email, or whatever makes the next several months feel less stressful to you.

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] They absolutely will not.

[2] They absolutely do not.

A 3L's (Unsolicited) Advice for Your 1L Spring

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Monica Sandu '24
Production Editor

As the snow thaws over Grounds that come back to life with the arrival of the spring semester, some of you are experiencing your first ever law school classes without your trusty 1L section. Just when you thought you’d conquered your fear of cold calls, casebooks, and 8:00 a.m. classes without coffee, you suddenly find yourself thrust into the world with few, if any, other 1Ls around you. Now that add/drop is over, it is time for this 3L to share some sage wisdom as you navigate this new, and often unexpected, side of 1L.

First, realize that you’re going to be in classes with spring semester 3Ls. That alone should make you feel better. But even knowing that the curve was safe, one of the most challenging things I encountered as a 1L was the sense of isolation that came with being in a class where it seemed like everybody knew everybody, and I didn’t know anyone. While it’s certainly easier said than done, this can be a chance to make connections with 2Ls and 3Ls. Some may have already taken classes you’re interested in for the upcoming semesters (and have the outlines to prove it). Even if they haven’t, simply talking to them can be a way to combat imposter syndrome – they’re often as just as confused as you are, if not more.[1]

You may also be able to seek out fellow 1Ls who are in other sections, especially those with whom you don’t have classes otherwise. It’s a good middle ground between meeting new people and having someone who can fully sympathize with your LRW oral argument stress. Still, don’t feel like you have to turn every lecture into a networking event. Spring provides many opportunities for extra-curricular socializing. You have Feb Club and Barrister’s Ball in February; the Libel Show, whether you’re part of the cast, the crew, or the crowd;[2]  countless student group events; and the tried and tested method of joining the always-prestigious and ever-welcoming Law Weekly.[3]

Next, the 1L job application process is in full swing. You’ve certainly heard this many times before, but Career Services will be your best friend through this process. Their resources are at your disposal, and their job is to help you find a job. Many students use their 1L summer to explore a particular field they may be interested in, while others want to gain general experience in the practice of law. Some use it as an opportunity to experience public service law before going into the private sector, or to do private work before becoming a public service lawyer. Spending some time pinpointing what you want to get out of the summer is crucial, not only for targeting applications and getting interviews, but for your personal fulfillment and wellbeing.

While it’s a good idea to have a general sense of the direction you want to pursue, you don’t have to know exactly what specialty within the law you are going to go into, nor are you expected to already be an expert in your area of interest. Potential employers understand that you are a law student. While you should definitely research the firms, programs, and practice areas you apply for, you should also demonstrate your dedication, your passion for knowledge, and all those things that make you someone with whom others will want to work. These will also help you decide where you see yourself working.

There will inevitably be some rejections. But these rejections are not personal failings – it’s just the nature of the application process. Be sure to work with Career Services to navigate your applications, find open positions, prepare for interviews, and draft cover letters and resumes. Communicate so that your concerns can be addressed as soon as possible.

Lastly, and perhaps most crucially, be kind to yourself. Try to not treat your milestones as stepping stones. Celebrate your accomplishments by recognizing them for what they are – accomplishments, not just meeting expectations.[4] Hold tight to the friends you make, and be one another’s support system. This semester may have fewer breaks than the fall, but it goes by much more quickly. And although 1Ls always lose in the Court of Petty Appeals, we at the Law Weekly still want you to see you succeed.[5] Good luck out there, kids.

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ms7mn@virginia.edu

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[1] Bonus points if you watch them online shop through an entire lecture.

[2] Be sure to come on 1L night to see all your favorite professors (congenially) roast you in song form!

[3] Every Monday at 5:45 p.m. in SL279. We have free pizza and the satisfaction of winning an ANGus beef with VLR.

[4] For example, getting through an interview that made you extremely anxious is something to be proud of, regardless of whether or not it results in a callback.

[5] Or at least bring us a COPA suit funny enough to rule in your favor.

RFK Jr. Returns to UVA Law for "Fireside Chat"

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Andrew Allard '25
Executive Editor

While Harvard may have the Obamas, we at UVA have the Kennedys. “You’ve all heard of his family,” the emcee announced as music blared. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ’82 strolled on stage, greeted by Alexander Szarka ’24. I had been sitting next to a UVA Law alumnus from the class of ’76. “He’s late,” he grumbled to an usher. “It’s not good to make the electorate wait. That doesn’t make him more important.” The alum told me that he doesn’t think much of Kennedy, but he had made the drive from Richmond “for the history.”

For Kennedy, history is a comfortable topic. Szarka rattled off a list of the Kennedy family’s historic ties to the Law School, pointing out the law library’s shrine to Kennedy’s father, Robert Francis “Bobby” Kennedy ’51, and his uncle Edward Moore “Ted” Kennedy ’59’s Lile Moot Court championship title. Kennedy cheerfully responded with a lengthy tale of his father’s efforts to invite Ralph Bunche, the first Black Nobel laureate, to speak at the Law School. Virginia state law in 1951 required public events to be segregated, but the senior Kennedy fought successfully to get Bunche before a desegregated audience.

Twenty minutes in, Szarka appeared poised to throw Kennedy a hardball. “I just want to respectfully disagree, because you talked about how the moral leadership of your uncle [John F. Kennedy] and your father was the supreme achievement of the administration. I think that that’s very important, but I would say that the supreme achievement of the Kennedy administration was averting nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis.”

Though beginning with a disclaimer that this was not a campaign event, much of the interview was dedicated to praising Kennedy’s legacy and expounding upon his policy views. The event was dubbed a “Fireside Chat” by the Student Bar Association. Szarka compared Kennedy’s frequent appearances on podcasts with FDR’s use of radio and Trump’s use of X (formerly known as Twitter). Kennedy welcomed the comparison. “I think this election will be the first election that will be heavily influenced, if not decided, by podcasts.”

Bouncing from his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, to the war in Gaza, to claims that “deputies of Fauci” are profiting from mRNA vaccines, Kennedy was happy to steer the conversation toward controversy. For many supporters, Kennedy’s unfiltered style is no doubt part of his appeal. It’s also an essential aspect of his politics. Asked about the recent resignation of UPenn president, Liz Magill ’95, Kennedy said that universities ought to be havens for free speech. “We ought to be able to all talk. And that’s critical for democracy.”

Kennedy’s strong pro-speech stance has not saved him from bad blood with the press. He explained that he turned to podcasts because he had been snubbed by TV news. “For years, I’ve not been allowed on the mainstream media, and to this day, they will not allow me to do a live interview. The first one I’m ever going to do is tomorrow morning with Michael Smerconish.” In recent months, Kennedy has appeared on the PBS NewsHour[2] and CNN.[3] But Kennedy said that these were live-to-tape interviews. “Live-to-tape means that they can cut you afterwards, which is what they always do.”

Despite the alleged media blackout, Kennedy claimed that he’s polling quite well, saying that he was leading among Americans forty-five and under in battleground states and for people under thirty-five years old. “And I’m trouncing President Trump and President Biden among the independents, which this year for the first time will be the largest party.” While early presidential polling numbers tend to be dynamic, Kennedy’s favorability rating is among the highest at 52 percent, according to Gallup.[4] But recent national polling data shows Kennedy trailing Biden and Trump at 12 percent.[5]

Kennedy said that he believes his support for affordable housing has caught young voters’ attention. “I think I’m doing well with those groups because I’m talking about issues that particularly concern young people. I’m the only one talking about how to get young people into houses.”

But if Kennedy’s strategy is to capture the youth vote, then his stance on Israel-Palestine could be a problem. While Americans under thirty-five tend to have greater sympathy for Palenstinians,[6] Kennedy downplayed the war in Gaza. “All of this stuff about Israel being an apartheid state is propaganda. Israel has no apartheid goals . . . If you’re a Palestinian, and you want to criticize your government, [then] you’d better be in Israel. You can do it without any recourse. If you do it in Gaza, you’ll have your throat slit. If you do it in the West Bank, you’ll be jailed and tortured.”

Szarka, shifting in his chair, asked Kennedy to “focus a little bit more on the American perspective.” Kennedy demurred. “Why is there a concentration camp? Because Israel put a fence there to keep Hamas from sending terrorists across to kill its people. What country wouldn’t?”

Before leaving, I asked the alum sitting next to me if it was worth the drive from Richmond. “I learned a lot,” he replied.

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tya2us@virginia.edu

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[1] Feeling sorry for Andrew after his thorough defeat before the Court of Petty Appeals, Garrett willingly gave up his dibs claim to the RFK story.

[2] PBS NewsHour, WATCH: RFK Jr. on abortion, immigration, YouTube (Nov. 7, 2023), https://youtu.be/tzisLdj7fjQ?si=erZ6LQs2KOxSDlff.

[3] CNN, CNN anchor confronts RFK Jr. by replaying his comments on vaccines, YouTube (Dec. 15, 2023), https://youtu.be/G4vP4GdHhoA?si=zJJ7d5_YxbqoHZRX.

[4] Lydia Saad, Biden and Trump Evenly Matched in U.S. Favorable Ratings, Gallup (Jan. 9, 2024), https://news.gallup.com/poll/548138/american-presidential-candidates-2024-election-favorable-ratings.aspx.

[5] Matt Holt, Messenger Poll: Trump Leads Biden by Seven Points (Exclusive), The Messenger (Jan. 24, 2024), https://themessenger.com/politics/messenger-poll-trump-leads-biden-by-seven-points-exclusive.

[6] Brittany Gibson, The generational divide over Israel and Palestine is widening, Politico (Nov. 16, 2023), https://www.politico.com/news/2023/11/16/israel-palestine-quinnipiac-poll-00127726.

What Your Favorite Thanksgiving Dish Says About You

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Noah Coco '26
Staff Editor

Throughout the Thanksgiving break, I was constantly reminded how much “law student” has become one of my dominant identities. Between updating my uncle on my summer plans, explaining to my brother-in-law what a tort is, or getting in a few class readings before joining the rest of the family for brunch, I annoyed even myself with the law school talk. Expectedly, even Thanksgiving dinner was overcome by thoughts of law school as I started to think about the food that I was about to share with family in terms of common law school stereotypes. So without further ado, what does your favorite Thanksgiving dinner food say about you?

1. Turkey

Your palate is not very refined. You want to be the star of the show, and perhaps you are, but you nonetheless lack much depth or nuance. That, or you are just a gym-goer thinking about how much lean protein you have to complete your meal prep for the next week, in which case you might just not be an interesting person. You probably read the Wall Street Journal and most likely came to UVA because of the softball.

2. Stuffing

You are warm and wholesome. You respect tradition, but not the rough edges of it that your uncle keeps bringing up over Thanksgiving dinner. You are more than the sum of your parts and are a dependable member of your friend group. You probably have a reasonable bedtime most nights. You are likely a big fan of cookie Friday and frequent the Student Affairs office for some midday snacks.

3. Dinner Rolls

Honestly, you are pretty basic. You sound a little bland and are probably not a very big fan of Thanksgiving either. Seriously, why not opt for the infinitely more interesting stuffing, which is, after all, just flavored bread? You have questionable judgment and probably should not become a judge. Maybe tax law will be a more appropriate option for you to pursue?

4. Sweet Potato Casserole

You are flexible but probably try too hard to have it both ways. Are you a deliciously crisp and sweet praline topping, or just…mush (albeit very vibrant mush)?  You might even be a self-deprecating Virginia Law Weeklywriter. Either way, you’re quite indecisive and are still probably trying to figure out if you should do litigation or transactional work.

5. Corn

You’re a nerd. Or you are from the Midwest. I guess you care about healthy digestion, which is great, but really? Unless you are the source of a beloved internet meme, it’s just not cute. You are probably a week ahead on your readings and like to talk about Civ Pro cases at parties.

6. Mashed Potatoes

You're sturdy yet unremarkable. Not bold enough to go for the sweet potatoes, yet competent enough to forego the dinner roll for your starchy fixing. Suffice it to say, there are better options out there, but there are also many more worse ones. You may actually be the quintessential risk-averse lawyer type, which is frankly a safe place to be.

7. Cranberry Sauce

You’re quirky but also sweet. You might be shy, but you also harbor some zest and pop. You’re unabashedly yourself even if you are not always appreciated. Good for you! You probably do your grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, buy your clothes from thrift shops, and start your day with a dose of NPR. You’ve probably taken Animal Law, but if not, there is still time.

8. Green Bean Casserole

Your life is truly about balance. A balance between what is good for you and what is a little more indulgent. You bring energy and a case of White Claws to parties, but you probably went to the gym earlier in the day. You’re not going to stay up late to finish those readings, and Celsiuses fuel your days. You might bomb that cold-call, but you always ace the exam.

9. Pumpkin Pie

You are honestly just here to skip straight to the end. You’re probably the first person to bring out a sweater once the first leaf changes its color and spend too much time on Instagram when you should be at least skimming your casebook for tomorrow’s readings. You are probably a big fan of Quimbee and have been to every bar review. You will end up just fine though, enjoying your just desserts on that Big Law salary.

10. Leftovers

You are creative and free-spirited. You didn’t let this listicle confine you to the artificial constraints of actual Thanksgiving dinner. You just can't help yourself from picking on cold leftovers right out of the fridge, and more power to you. You may even like to wear flannels. But you certainly don’t always follow the rules, which is an interesting trait for an aspiring attorney. Tread carefully, perhaps.

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cmz4bx@virginia.edu

Law Weekly Runs the Philadelphia Marathon

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Ethan Brown '25
Features Editor

Two weeks ago, I finally did something that I’ve wanted to do since I started running in high school: I ran a marathon. To anyone who’s talked to me for more than a minute during the past four months, this is probably not news, because I’m (a) annoying and (b) repetitive. But I have a good tradition in the Law Weekly of reviewing different runs—including the Law School’s annual “Run with Jim” and the Charlottesville Ten Miler—so it feels essential to now recap my experiences training for, and running, the 2023 Philadelphia Marathon.

Pictured: Nicholas Sheets '25 and Ethan Brown '25 running at mile six
Photo credit: Matthew Lowrie

Training[1]

I came into marathon training with about a decade of casual running experience. I never ran cross-country competitively, but my sister did, so from ages fourteen to eighteen my running was pretty piecemeal—a few miles at a time, a few days a week—and usually happened only when she wanted company on her easy runs. I started running on my own in college. By the time I registered for the Philadelphia Marathon back in July, I’d run five half-marathons, and usually ran about twenty-five to thirty miles a week. So, I wanted a training plan that didn’t start from the ground floor, but was also realistic about the fact that this was my first time running more than 13.1 miles.

I settled on Hal Higdon’s Novice 2 training program. This plan provides for four days of running—including a long run on Sunday—as well as one day of cross-training and two days off each week. The plan is eighteen weeks long, so I started it in late July. I did a decent job of adhering to it, save for a few missteps, like not cross-training during about half of the weeks and skipping one long run (my nineteen miler) on a particularly rough weekend for work where I just couldn’t be bothered. At most, the plan as written peaks at thirty-five miles a week, but I exceeded this occasionally and hit up to forty-five miles a few weeks in October. All in all, the plan felt incredibly accessible. Next marathon, I’m certainly going to follow a plan with more guidance for speed workouts, but I am glad I chose this one for my first go.

Why Philadelphia?

I knew I wanted to do a fall marathon—what’s better than a weekend long run in Charlottesville during autumn?—but unsurprisingly, there are many September, October, and November races out there. I thought about doing the Richmond Marathon in mid-November (just a week before Philly!), but I had already run the half marathon there twice and wanted to try something new. So, when I heard over the summer that several other UVA Law students were running Philly, I figured I would join the herd.

On that note, there were a genuinely staggering amount of UVA folks running the race despite it being almost 300 miles away; I know of about ten other 2Ls who ran it too. Among them was Bryce Campanelli ’25, who in addition to running an incredibly speedy race, led a fundraiser through Movember to publicize men’s mental health issues in the weeks preceding the marathon.[2]

Pictured: Movember fundraiser participants
Photo credit: Bryce Campanelli '25

Race Weekend

 Philly totally passed the vibe check, which I aptly described in my article reviewing the Ten-Miler as being based on three factors: weather, route, and spectators.

First, the weather was fantastic; we enjoyed a crisp, sunny 37 degrees at the start line, which warmed up gradually over the course of the morning. I overdressed a little because I was nervous about being chilly, so I wore shorts and running tights, as well as a long-sleeve top. Next time, I’ll stick to just shorts.

Second, I loved the route. Since I’d never been to Philadelphia before, I appreciated that the route covered some of Philly’s most notable sights, including City Hall, Independence Hall, UPenn, suburban Manayunk, and the iconic “Rocky steps” at the Museum of Art. My only qualm is that the last eight or so miles were an “out-and-back” between downtown Philly to Manayunk, and if there’s anything you don’t want to see at mile seventeen, it’s the mile marker for mile twenty-three that you happen to be six miles away from passing.

Third, the spectator game was strong. Luckily, the points of the race where I felt most worn down were also the places with the most spectators. A surprisingly high number of them called out their encouragement using my name, which I had printed on my bib; it’s lame, but the personalization helped. I also was very fortunate to have my boyfriend and my former college roommate travel with me to Philly to cheer me on.

So yes, every factor was there for a good race. But honestly, I enjoyed the marathon even more than I thought I would.[3] Everyone always calls law school a marathon, so it felt deeply poetic to run a “real” marathon as I near (almost exactly) the halfway point of this one, with my 2L fall almost over. And I obviously found it rewarding to check something off my bucket list that’d been there for almost a decade, especially since I’d made the time to do it during a particularly stressful few months. I am already excited for my next marathon, and if this article piqued your interest, I hope to see you out there next time.

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] I am genuinely the world’s most average runner—I placed just above median in my age division of men 20-24 at the race—so take my training “recommendations,” if you can even call them that, with several grains of salt. I’m out here for vibes, not speed. If you want tips from faster folks, reach out to some of the cool people at the North Grounds Track Club!

[2] You can donate to Bryce’s fundraiser here: https://movember.com/m/14977163?mc=1.

[3] This is in no small part to the fact that I ran every step of the 26.2 miles with my friend Nicholas Sheets ’25.

Open Democracy: A New American Experiment?

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Andrew Allard '25
Executive Editor

For the American public, it is a truism that ours is a government “of the people, by the people, for the people.” But how well does our democracy succeed in meeting this high standard? Today, Americans deeply disagree over whether our elections produce results that accurately reflect the public’s wishes. The tragic events of January 6 made this especially clear, but America’s democratic woes long predate that unfortunate day. Voters’ concerns about elections are wide-ranging, including debate over Voter ID requirements, absentee voting, and ballot collection. These concerns reflect disagreements about the balance between election security and access to the ballot box. But such disagreement also extends to more fundamental structural issues, such as how we should draw voting districts and whether the electoral college’s occasionally counter-majoritarian results are desirable in a modern democracy.

Pictured: Hélène Landemore
Photo Credit: helenelandemore.com

Lawyers have an especially important role to play in answering these questions. Because in the American tradition, the law itself is legitimated by the consent of the governed,[1] protecting democracy is tantamount to protecting the rule of law. Recent Supreme Court decisions—such as those interpreting the Voting Rights Act and addressing partisan gerrymandering—illustrate the importance of lawyers’ role in shaping democracy. Similarly, Congress cautiously stepped into the role of protecting democracy when, in the wake of efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election, it passed the Electoral Count Reform Act.[2]

But the gravity of democratic decline requires more from us than a reactive posture. We must consider how democracy can be revitalized, and we must remain open to innovative and experimental alternatives to the existing paradigm. We must, like the Founders, look to nascent ideas rooted in the principles of self-government for inspiration. As lawyers, we should familiarize ourselves with these ideas, vigorously debate their utility, and determine how they can be adapted to our existing legal framework.

In that spirit, Hélène Landemore’s Open Democracy[3] is an excellent place to start. Landemore is a professor of political science at Yale University who specializes in democratic theory. In Open Democracy, Landemore argues that traditional legislatures often fail to meet the ideals of self-government. “Modern parliaments themselves are intimidating buildings that are hard to access for the vast majority of citizens. They are typically gated and guarded. It also feels to many as if only certain types of people—those with the right suit, the right accent, bank account, connections, or even last names—are welcome to enter them.”[4] To supplement traditional legislatures, Landemore proposes, among other things, a system of “open mini-publics”: randomly-selected assemblies of citizens, gathered for the purpose of lawmaking. Such a system, Landemore argues, allows the citizenry to participate directly in governing when representative authorities have failed to enact popular legislation.

Landemore’s ideas are admittedly radical. But American lawyers should appreciate them for many reasons; I will offer three. Firstly, Landemore’s ideas are rooted in history. As Landemore explains, modern democracy looks very little like its historical predecessors. As examples, Landemore cites the use of democracy by lot in Athens, the Icelandic Vikings’ practice of gathering in a field each summer to form a parliament,[5]and New England’s historical use of town hall meetings. Contrary to popular belief, early democracies did not generally engage exclusively in direct democracy. They, too, were representative, but representation was decided by lot or self-selection, rather than by competitive elections. These historic systems—though not without their flaws—emphasize openness and participation.

Secondly, Landemore’s ideas build on an existing American legal practice: the jury. Landemore compares the mini-public to “a supersized version of the criminal jury in the American system.”[6] Landemore points out that juries are too small to offer an accurate sample of the population. But they are nonetheless rooted in the ideals of community wisdom and participatory democracy.

Lastly, Landemore’s ideas, like the legal system itself, rely on deliberation and pluralism. As lawyers, we understand that truth can be frustratingly elusive. For that reason, we have the adversarial system, which searches for truth through zealous argumentation between parties with opposing interests. As Justice Kagan once eloquently put it, “No one has a monopoly on truth or wisdom. We make progress by listening to each other.”[7] Landemore’s open democracy ensures that we listen to each other, and not just those with the skills, capital, and connections necessary to win elections.

Of course, reasonable people can disagree with Landemore’s proposals. But no American should reject them as too extreme. The United States is an experiment in self-government. To advocate for innovative and even radical approaches to self-government is deeply rooted in our nation’s history. In the face of new challenges to our democracy, perhaps that history is the answer.

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tya2us@virginia.edu

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[1] The Declaration of Independence para. 2 (U.S. 1776) (“Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed . . . .”).

[2] H.R. 2617, 107th Cong. (2022) (clarifying that the Vice President’s role in presiding over vote counting in Congress is “solely ministerial” and raising the number of objections required in each house of Congress to challenge a state’s slate of electors).

[3] Hélène Landemore, Open Democracy: Reinventing Popular Rule for the Twenty-First Century (2020).

[4] Id. at 2.

[5] The Icelandic “Althing,” founded in 930 A.D., is one of the world’s oldest national parliaments. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Althing.

[6] Landemore at 13.

[7] Excerpts of Elena Kagan's Opening Statement Before the Senate Judiciary Committee, The White House Off. of the Press Sec’y (June 28, 2010), https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/excerpts-elena-kagans-opening-statement-senate-judiciary-committee.

A Runner's Guide to Charlottesville

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Caitlin Flanagan '24
Staff Editor

As both a Double Hoo and a person who finds it difficult to relax by staying still, I’ve been running around this town for (going-on) seven years. Somehow, I’m still finding new fun routes, and love being shown hidden charming neighborhoods by friends. I’ve never encountered as many former cross-country stars in one place as I have here at the Law School. So, this crowd-sourced runner’s guide to Charlottesville aims to save newcomers to the area from pounding out too many miles in the tepid climate of the North Grounds Recreation Center or, perhaps worse, running along Route 29.

Best Routes:

(1) The Corner to W. Main Street to the Downtown Mall:

 If you’re looking for a relatively flat route buzzing with the quirks of city life, from the sounds of the accordion on the Mall, to the smell of several bakeries, to the trudge of hungover undergrads on the Corner, look no further than running down West Main Street and down the Mall. Sometimes the sidewalk is a bit narrow, but that seems a worthy price to pay in exchange for one of the livelier routes in town.

(2) The Rivanna Trail

There are several points of entry to the Trail. Some are more running-friendly, and some require a lightness of foot that I, unfortunately, lack. Lately, I’ve been running from a small trail-like path over by the Wool Factory to get onto the larger, paved trail. This is a lovely (above pictured) run alongside the Rivanna River that is, miraculously, also flat!

(3) The Monticello Trail

The Saunders-Monticello trail is four miles of paved walking path. It is runnable, but as the path does wind its way up to Monticello, it is a challenging uphill climb. Worth it for the views, though!

(4) John Warner Parkway

I am a bit directionally challenged and therefore have not yet entirely pieced together how each part of this route comes together. But every time I find myself on a piece of it, it is really quiet, except for the sounds of birds and the wind in the trees.

(5) Main Grounds

Running from the Rotunda over to First Year dorms is a real walk down memory lane for me, and a run through a beautiful college campus (Grounds) for you! I recommend swinging a left once you get to Alderman Road and then running over in the Fry’s Spring neighborhood, too—lots of cute streets and homes.

Best Races:

(1) Charlottesville Ten Miler

The Ten-Miler somehow manages to be the perfect soft launch for spring every year. The course is perfect, and so many people come out to cheer. Usually, the trees have begun to bud, but there’s a bit of a chill in the air. And ten miles is so impressive, yet also so doable!

(2) Richmond Marathon, Half Marathon or 8K

Richmond is a charming and often under-explored (for UVA students) city. They call it “America’s Friendliest Marathon” for a reason: There are so many happy runners and happy onlookers!

(3) Charlottesville Marathon or Half Marathon

For whatever reason, the energy around these races never seems as electric as the Ten-Miler. I think the course is far hillier, and when I convinced my mom to do it with me, she said this is “the last half marathon” she’d ever do. So, not my favorite.

Best Ways to Make Running Friends:

(1) Send a message in your Section GroupMe!

I made some friends from these early “Anyone want to run?” type texts and still run with some of those buddies today.

(2) Try out Cou Cou Rachou Run Club

You wake up early, show up at 6:30 a.m. at Cou Cou Rachou, run three miles, and get a couple dollars off whatever delicious pastry you want! I cannot imagine a better way to start a Thursday morning.

(3) Prolyfyck

I haven’t been, but have heard from friends that this Black-led running group has a “no one left behind” policy, where they wait for you at the top of hills, which seems really nice if also potentially embarrassing. They were also at the Richmond races this last weekend and cheered me on in a moment of real desperation.

(4) Random Row Run Club

If beer is more your speed than pastries, try out Random Row Run Club! They meet at 6 p.m. on Mondays to run a 5K, followed by beer deals! 

(5) Run with Jim Ryan!

I am not sure how often this happens, but it seems cute.

Best Place to Buy Running Gear:

Ragged Mountain Running Shop! Although I actually can’t even think of anywhere else in town, this is my favorite place even taking my hometown running store into account. They’re so helpful and friendly, and there’s even parking behind the store if you, like me, generally avoid the Corner for parking reasons.

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cf3tf@virginia.edu

Plaintiff-Side Litigation: Instead of Answering, You Can Also Write Complaints!

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Garrett Coleman '25
Managing Editor

Because there is such a dearth of knowledge on the subject, the editorial board of this paper has coerced me into writing an article on plaintiff’s side litigation. This was something of an odd choice given that I am privileged and happy to have a job at a large firm specializing in defense work. But since I interned at a plaintiff’s firm this past summer and have a father who is a terrific plaintiff’s attorney in California, I am an expert in the area as far as fancy law schools go. Before you quit reading and rest easy in the comfort of your future career at Simpson Thacher, remember where your bread gets buttered—Apple will only consider paying those exorbitant fees because of the sweat and tears of the plaintiff’s bar, the men and women who, though few, take on large teams of T-14 dweebs.

The first thing to note about plaintiff’s work is the character of people who are attracted to it. These are righteous men and women willing to risk it all, with a predominantly old school bent. On nearly every car ride to lunch with the attorneys I worked for, they would mention how the named partners really cared for their clients. They were old people harmed by nearby construction, the families of minors killed in car accidents, and consumers who consistently lost money from monopolistic practices. Seeing those attorneys interact with clients, I believed in their sincerity. Even when there was no settlement to be obtained, my boss would routinely take calls from struggling people in his community looking for help. Similarly, my dad has spent the bulk of his career suing insurance companies who, in bad faith, deny benefits to their disabled insureds. Many of his clients have to live on credit cards through the litigation process. Because of this righteous cause, tensions would get high in the office. There was (some) yelling, a good amount of cursing, and plenty of aggressive walks through the halls. Good plaintiff’s lawyers are like crusaders, totally devoting themselves to a cause and willing to destroy everything in their path.

The second notable element strongly influences the culture at these firms: how they get paid. There are no billable hours, beyond estimates for calculating attorney fees when a statute allows for it. Instead, a plaintiff’s attorney worth his salt will charge on a contingency basis, meaning that he gets paid a fraction of the settlement or judgment award, usually in the range of 18 to 33 percent. This setup has certainly been good for the manufacturers of blood pressure medication. Complex cases will take years to resolve, while these entrepreneurial attorneys can do nothing but burn more time and money. This is a far cry from the constant streams of cash flow that defense firms garner.

There are, of course, some criticisms of contingency work. The first is that the payouts on large awards can dwarf what a defense attorney would have billed. Though after you calculate the expected return—factoring in the risk of dismissal—and discount it over the years of litigation, I am not sure that is true. And, more importantly, it gives anyone with a valid legal claim access to our judicial system. A more valid criticism is that contingency work functionally excludes small claims. A plaintiff’s attorney who wants to keep the lights on cannot take a tenant rights case for $5,000. That money is probably the difference between life and death for the client, but the expected payout is simply too low to justify the work. My response to this problem is that plaintiff’s work cannot be expected to remedy every societal ill, and these cases are best addressed by non-profit legal aid groups or state attorneys general acting as consumer watchdogs.

If none of this appeals to 1Ls or other students contemplating a career shift, you should also consider the experience opportunities that plaintiff’s work offers. Every young associate at the firm I worked for managed several small cases, arguing before the court along each step. We all know that this experience is more beneficial to the lawyer than being the third seat in a deposition. Plaintiff’s work offers its lawyers a trial-by-fire environment and should be attractive to anyone interested in jump-starting her career.

None of this is to say that plaintiff’s lawyers are God’s gift to man. After making fun of me for applying to Big Law firms, my former supervisor admitted that business would grind to a halt if plaintiff’s attorneys got everything they wanted. If judges did nothing more than greenlight their complaints, then this would absolutely be true. Zealous defense attorneys have an important role to play in preserving a workable economy and defending their clients. Further, there are undeniably bad incentives for the less-skilled plaintiff’s attorneys to harass defendants with untenable claims, hoping only to survive a motion to dismiss and settle. In such cases, it is the defense bar that has the better claim to a righteous cause.

But at a fancy law school like ours, the defense perspective is omnipresent. All I hope to convey is that plaintiff’s work can be exciting, morally gratifying, and lucrative. Even though I have chosen to take another route, I do so mindful of the fact that not everyone sitting on the right side in a courtroom will be a conman.

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jxu6ad@virginia.edu

First-Gen Law Students Stand Up and Stand Out

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Ryan Moore ‘25
Law Weekly Historian

Last Wednesday, November 8, the Virginia Law First-Generation Professionals (VLFGP) hosted an event celebrating National First-Gen Day. First-generation UVA Law students gathered in WB 125 for community, as well as hot chocolate, coffee, and free t-shirts. VLFGP President Ugomma Ugwu-Uche ’25 organized the event as a way for first-generation members of UVA Law to gather and share our struggles and successes as  first-generation law students.

I say “our” struggles and successes because I am a first-generation law student as well. VLFGP’s event induced me to do my own research into first-generation law students because when you are a first-generation law student, it can feel like everybody else has lawyers in their family and knows how law school operates. The truth is not far off.

A first-generation student is typically someone who is among the first in their immediate family to attend higher education. First-generation professional students would therefore be among the first in their family to attend a professional school (medical, business, law, etc.). Per The National Association of Law Placement (NALP), first-generation college students made up about 23 percent of 2020 law school graduates.[1] But this number breaks down by race. Out of the Class of 2020 nationwide, 42 percent of Latino law students, 36 percent of Black law students, and 55 percent of Indigenous law students were first-generation college students.[2] By comparison, white law school graduates were most likely to have at least one parent who is a lawyer, at 18 percent.[3] Unfortunately, I do not have UVA Law specific numbers.

VLFGP’s goal is to address these disparities between first-generation and other college and professional students by facilitating the transition to law school. The organization is geared towards assisting first-generation college students, first-generation professional students, students from immigrant backgrounds, and students from low-income or working-class backgrounds. VLFGP addresses barriers that exist in the legal profession with the goal of making law school, and the legal field itself, more inclusive. Most importantly, VLFGP helps first-generation students feel that we are welcome and supported at UVA Law.

Several of my classmates and I were interviewed by the Law School about what being a first-generation law student means to us. During my portion of the interview,[4] I mentioned that being a first-generation student was defined by “determination” and “difficulties.” “Determination,” because to be the first in your family to do anything takes a lot of drive and determination to chart your own path and make your own way. I said “difficulties” because, in any field, when you are first-generation, you lack that built-in familial knowledge of how the system works.

In law school, unfamiliarity with how legal education and the legal field works truly sets you behind. Law is, as we all are painfully aware, a field that values tradition. For the most part, the Socratic method, 1L curriculum, journal tryouts, casebook readings, and exams have all remained the same since our parents entered law school when they were our age.[5] Law itself is ever-changing as legislatures draft new laws to address societal and technological transformations, and judges issue opinions interpreting those laws. But legal education and the legal field itself remain relatively static. And if a process or institution remains static, there is a premium placed on those with prior knowledge of how that institution operates.

In law school, that can look like parents who understand the stress of 1L year and send you care packages. It can look like family members who understand you cannot make the same time for them as you could before. Maybe you have an aunt or uncle who can review and provide you feedback on your first year LRW memo.[6] Maybe your parents drill you on doctrinal law over Thanksgiving break to prepare you for exams.[7] Getting quizzed on the elements of negligence by your parents over Thanksgiving dinner sounds like my personal Hell and gives off major gunner energy. But the food at white peoples’ Thanksgiving dinners usually sucks anyway, so how could things get any worse?[8]

I do not resent my classmates with lawyers in their families in the slightest for these advantages. I think America needs the best trained lawyers that our society and educational system can turn out. And if your parents have trained you to study the law since birth like a Soviet gymnast, good for you, you freak. All I mean is to highlight the differences between first-generation law students and those who have lawyers in their families. These differences are not “good” or “bad,” they just are. There is nothing any student in this school can do about their family situation. I am just glad there is a student organization at UVA Law that recognizes us.

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tqy7zz@virginia.edu

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[1] https://www.reuters.com/legal/transactional/having-lawyer-parents-boosts-job-prospects-salaries-law-grads-2021-10-20/.

[2] Id.

[3] Id.

[4] You can find our interview in full as a Reel on the UVA Law Instagram page. I highly encourage you to check out what our classmates shared about themselves.

[5] Except my parents, because again, you know, the whole first-gen thing.

[6] This is a true story.

[7] Again, also a true story.

[8] I took my wife to Thanksgiving hosted by the Black side of my family and she cleaned plate.

The Unique Joy of Weekend Dim Sum

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Andrew Allard '26
Executive Editor

The weekend brunch is a staple of young adult life. So broad is its appeal that even busy law students have been known to partake. And with good reason—what other meal offers such a wide variety of sweet, savory, and boozy options? Best of all, brunch's late afternoon availability allows diners—encourages them, even—to laze away their Sunday mornings. But in this writer’s view, another weekend culinary outing is unjustly overlooked: dim sum.

Dim sum and brunch have little in common besides their loose time frames. At dim sum, tea takes the place of booze, the meal is predominantly savory (though sweet options are available), and the overall mood is hurried as compared to the sauntering pace of brunch. But even dedicated brunchers should have dim sum at least once during their short time on this earth. Trust me—you won’t be missing your mimosa when you’re sinking your teeth into a crispy roast duck.

Sadly, Charlottesville is sorely lacking in dim sum.[1] But this did not stop me, and it certainly should not stop you. The nearest dim sum restaurant[2] is Full Kee, an hour's drive away in Richmond. But I suggest you make the trek up to North Virginia for the full experience at Hong Kong Pearl. I realize that I'm suggesting a two-hour drive for food, which takes us squarely out of "lazy Sunday morning" territory. Trust me. I have my reasons.

1. I know my audience.

I am writing for UVA Law students, who together account for 63% of all annual utterances of the phrase “I'm going up to DC this weekend.” So I know you have the time for a DC trip. In fact, you were probably already planning one. Stop in Falls Church for dim sum on the way.

2. You cannot fully experience dim sum without The Carts™.

A meal is more than just the food. It is an experience. And this is especially true of dim sum. Don't be fooled—a restaurant can serve siu mai[3] and lo mai gai[4] fit for a king, but it is not a true dim sum restaurant without the swarm of carts.

At Hong Kong Pearl, shortly after you have been seated, waiters pushing carts full of food will ambush your table at breakneck speed. Armed with a variety of tasty dishes, the waiters will call out their menu offerings to your table. The enthusiasm with which waiters peddle their dishes is a unique and delightful element of any good dim sum restaurant.

But it is also perilous. Even an experienced dim sum goer can let their appetite get the best of them, seizing on too many dishes too quickly. And for the first timer, the shouted laundry list of menu items can be intimidating.

Worry not. The fear is by design. Imagine if eating on a rollercoaster were possible, or for that matter enjoyable—a place where dining meets thrill-seeking in an awesome culinary experience. That is dim sum.

3. The food speaks for itself.

Dim sum plates are small to medium sized, making them ideal for sharing. The plethora of dishes include steamed vegetables, soy-soaked rice noodles, fried shellfish of all kinds, and dumplings galore. The list goes on. Bring a few friends and you can try a bit of everything.

Be sure to make it before 3 p.m. when the carts are still in service, keeping in mind that there is usually a line on weekends. If you make the trip, send me an email. I’d love to hear about it. Or better yet, bring me with you.

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tya2us@virginia.edu

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Pictured (left to right): Char siu bao (叉燒包), a dim sum classic: Sweet barbeque pork wrapped in a fluffy wheat bun. Shrimp cheung fun (腸粉), a personal favorite: Shrimp in rice noodle rolls, doused in a sweet and salty sauce. Har gow (蝦餃), one of many dumplings served at dim sum: Filled with shrimpand have a thin, but pleasantly chewy skin. Roast duck (烤鴨): Not the famous Peking duck, but its lesser known (no less delicious) Cantonese cousin. Salty, fatty, heavenly.

Photo and Caption Credit: Shen Zhu and Andrew Allard '25

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[1] To any enterprising Charlottesville restaurateurs, you can expect my business every weekend if you fix this problem.

[2] That is, the nearest one that I am aware of. Reader, if you know of a closer dim sum restaurant, I implore you to email me about it.

[3] 燒賣, a steamed pork and shrimp dumpling and a favorite of many dim sum goers.

[4] 糯米雞, a delicious medley of sticky rice, chicken, sausage, mushrooms, and other goodies. Lo mai gai is served hiding in a lotus leaf, like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. This makes it easy to miss for first timers. You should avoid this mistake at all costs.

PILA Auction Items for Fall 2024

Ethan Brown '25
Features Editor

Last weekend, many UVA Law students attended the annual PILA Ball, put on by our wonderful public interest organization here on North Grounds. I did not attend this year—which is somewhat ironic given that I ended up being the only person writing about it—but I had a fantastic time going last November. I actually wound up winning two auctions, one from the Libel Show and one from none other than Professor Joe Fore’s Punctuated Law Designs.[1] 

Was it worth the more than $200 I ultimately ended up spending? Well, that’s debatable. After all, all I got from the Libel Show was a name shout out in a skit.[2] And I lost half of Professor Fore’s basket during Thanksgiving break, when I left its cutesy monogrammed Constitution water bottle on a park bench. (Hilariously, a kind soul of a law student—Michael Pruitt ’24—found it and returned it to me, but guess what I did three days after that? Lose it again). Regardless, my PILA Ball memories have lasted forever, even if that poor water bottle didn’t in my clutches. 

Still, as the diligent Law Weekly reader has learned, I am at my happiest when I can prattle off suggestions for how to improve things that I have no knowledge of. To that end, here are some ideas for things at the Law School (and around Charlottesville!) that I’d love to see auctioned off at my 3L PILA Ball next November. Come to think of it, next year’s event will probably happen the weekend before the presidential election. So, yikes. We’re going to need some fun stuff to distract ourselves.

A Gunner Pit Lamp That Works

Blah blah blah, I know. “It’s toxic to work in the Gunner Pit.” But sometimes I like to pretend I’m a fancy boy, and the Pit is quite conducive to that, with its cozy wood paneling and congressional records that no one (except for the sycophantic 2Ls on VLR) have touched since 2004. My love for the Gunner Pit is why I’d pay an exorbitant amount of money to actually have a frigging lamp that works there. Some are too bright. Some are too dim. Some just straight up don’t have knobs. Seeing me at 8 a.m. in the morning trying to find the best one is like the world’s saddest rendition of Goldilocks trying the different bowls of porridge. So PILA, make this sad boy’s life a little better, and put a functional lamp on the auction list next year. I promise to bid.

Individually Controlled Shades for the Gunner Pit

See above, but the opposite problem: sometimes there is also too much light in the Gunner Pit. This, too, is deeply distressing. (And clearly, I am spending too much time in there). At around 11 a.m. or noon each sunny day, the light streams in with an intensity that makes me fear God. (Photographic evidence is attached). So, I propose the Law School contribute a set of shades for the Gunner Pit skylight, which one lucky winner will have sole proprietary rights over. This is an awesome burden to carry, but I trust my classmates to use their newfound power responsibly, and hopefully make it so that I never have to look like a ninety-year-old vampire in the library again.

Pictured: Ethan Brown '25 in his absolute glory in the Pit sun
Photo Credit: Molly Gibson '25

Fifteen Minutes of Access to the Law School Foundation on the Top Floor of the Law School

In my headcanon, the Law School Foundation is a sort of Atlantis—a forbidden, unfamiliar world just out of grasp. What goes on up there? Surely nothing too exciting. But until proven otherwise, it feels like a shadowy underworld, and it is one I have an irrational desire to investigate. This is probably something that most law students wouldn’t pay more than ten dollars for. But I’d probably cough up at least twenty.

A Bodo’s “Jump the Line” Pass

This one I’d really mess up my financial future for. Every Sunday I make my pilgrimage to the Emmet Street Bodo’s. Also every Sunday I stand in line for fifteen minutes cursing myself for my decision to wait in the cold, in my ugly little Hoka slides, for my silly little bagel. I dream of a DisneyWorld-style pass where I could skip merrily to the front of the line with a simple wave, and would probably surrender my life savings for it.

Poker Night with Lisa Napier from Student Affairs

The professors are cool and all, but I’m sorry, this is Lisa’s world, and we’re all living in it. PILA could fund 1Ls at a big law rate if this one went on sale next year.

 Hilariously, I have made it through 800 words by essentially complaining about how bad the lighting in the gunner pit is. And if that isn’t lawyerly loquaciousness at its finest, I don’t know what is. Happy PILA season!

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] Dropping the link to his merch because low key, it’s really cute. https://punctuatedlaw.myshopify.com/.

[2] Honestly, the thrill of hearing “Ethan Brown!!!!” shouted loudly in an auditorium was less exciting than I anticipated.

From UVA Law Student to Beloved Nintendo Character: The Story of John Kirby, Jr.

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Ryan Moore ‘25
Law Weekly Historian

As the Law Weekly’s self-appointed historian, I often wander the halls of the Law School. This week I found myself standing before the wall of William Minor Lile Moot Court Competition winners. The names of prior winners are etched into plaques affixed to the wall for all eternity. The most notable name by far is the late Edward “Ted” Kennedy ’59, the eight-term Democratic senator from Massachusetts and one-time primary challenger to President Jimmy Carter. Ted Kennedy was a notoriously bad law student, maintaining a C average. But, relying on that old Kennedy oratory charm, he pulled through and won the 1959 Lile Moot Court Competition.

But this is not an article about Ted Kennedy; much ink has been spilled on him and his family, the only political royalty this country has ever known. This article is about the 1966 Lile Moot Court winner whose name and plaque sit directly below Kennedy’s: John J. Kirby, Jr ’66. Only a few law students know that John Kirby is known inside Nintendo as their “savior” after defending the company in 1983. Even fewer know that John Kirby is the namesake of the Nintendo video game character “Kirby.”

Pictured: John Kirby's Moot Court Plaque
Photo Credit: Ryan Moore '25

Pictured: Nintendo's Kirby
Photo Credit: Nintendo

In 1983, Nintendo was an upstart video game company trying to break into the American market. Originally founded in 1889 as, of all things, a playing card company, Nintendo entered the video game arcade market in the late 1970s. Nintendo struggled to gain a foothold in the United States until their 1981 arcade game Donkey Kong. In Donkey Kong, you play as “Jumpman,” tasked with rescuing “Pauline” from the evil “Donkey Kong” who kidnapped her. The player engages in a series of platform jumping puzzles as they climb up a series of ladders. Donkey Kong was so popular with the arcade gaming public that, in less than a year, Nintendo sold 60,000 Donkey Kong arcade machines and earned $180 million in the United States alone.[1]

Astute readers might notice that “Donkey Kong” sounds a little too much like “King Kong.” Universal Studios, which had released a 1976 remake of the movie King Kong, thought Nintendo’s giant ape resembled their own giant ape enough to warrant suit. Universal Studios sued Nintendo for trademark infringement, alleging that “Donkey Kong” was an unlicensed version of the ape from King Kong.[2]

This is where 1966 UVA Law grad and Moot Court co-champion John Kirby comes in. Nintendo hired John Kirby, then a partner with Mudge Rose Guthrie Alexander & Ferdon, to represent them. During Kirby’s research, he discovered that Universal Studios had previously represented in court that the story and character of “King Kong” were in the public domain. In 1975, Universal Studios sued the studio behind the original King Kong film. Universal Studios successfully argued that because the character and story of “King Kong” were in the public domain, they should be allowed to remake the movie without paying royalties. Kirby also identified key differences between “Donkey Kong” and “King Kong.”

After a seven-day trial, Kirby’s arguments ultimately prevailed. District Court Judge Robert W. Sweet held that, while “this is a dispute over two gorillas,”[3] both apes were sufficiently distinguishable. “King Kong [is] a ferocious gorilla in quest of a beautiful woman.” Meanwhile, “Donkey Kong is comical and entertaining . . . farcical, childlike and nonsexual.”[4] Those are not the words I would use to describe Donkey Kong, but then again I do not hold life tenure on the federal bench. Yet.

Nintendo was allowed to continue using the name “Donkey Kong.” Nintendo used the success of Donkey Kong to market their new home video gaming console, the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). To ensure the successful launch of their new system, Nintendo re-branded Donkey Kong’s Jumpman character as “Mario” and gave him his own video game franchise, Super Mario Bros. The rest, as they say, is history.

To thank John Kirby, Nintendo named the video game character “Kirby” after him. The character Kirby is, to quote my wife, an “elastic pink puff ball that can transform into anything it inhales.” Kirby was also the first character I played as in Super Smash Bros. on the Nintendo 64. Nintendo also gifted John Kirby a twenty-seven-foot sailboat aptly named “Donkey Kong,” and granted him the exclusive right to use the name “Donkey Kong” for all sailboats in perpetuity. In 1992, Kirby was gifted an advance copy of Kirby’s Dream Land, one of my favorite childhood Game Boy games.

Kirby died on October 2, 2019, at age seventy-nine from cancer. But his memory lives on in the UVA Law community through a name on a plaque on the second floor of Slaughter Hall. And, of course, through the cute, loveable, little pink character that shares his name.

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tqy7zz@virginia.edu

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[1] Steven L. Kent, The Ultimate History of Video Games: The Story Behind the Craze that Touched our Lives and Changed the World (2002).

[2] Universal City Studios, Inc. v. Nintendo Co., Ltd., 578 F. Supp. 911 (S.D.N.Y. 1983), aff'd, 746 F.2d 112 (2d Cir. 1984).

[3] Id. at 913.

[4] Id. at 928.

Office of Financial Aid, Education, and Planning Leads Budgeting Workshop

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Brent Rice ‘25
Staff Editor

On Halloween day, the Office of Financial Aid, Education, and Planning put on a workshop entitled “Budgeting for Life.” I, alongside a group of my classmates, filtered into WB 128 partly to get my spending situation in order, partly due to the promise of sweet treats included in the email about the event, and mainly for the reason that I could not think of anything scarier than coming to terms with the reality of my finances. The session did not disappoint as Jennifer Hulvey, Senior Advisor to the Office, donned a witch costume (complete with a black hat) and cast a spell on the room with stories of financial mastery.

Pictured: Jennifer Hulvey in costume
Photo Credit: Brent Rice '25

First, Look Back

Instead of seeing the future, a look into Hulvey’s crystal ball would likely reveal a trip into the past. Hulvey shared, “every decision you make [about money] today is impacted by the nuclear family with which you grew up.” She encouraged the room to think about whether their memories about money growing up were good, bad, or something they didn’t have to think about at all, before sharing a few personal stories that have come to shape her relationship with money today. Her relationship, like the relationship of others who have come from relatively modest means, is centered around a discipline, guilt when spending, and a scarcity mentality that impacts all of her financial decision-making.

Then, Start Where You Are

As the presentation shifted more into the mechanics of budgeting, Hulvey emphasized that she understands how hard it can be to get going while stressing that budgeting, in order to be successful, needs to become a habit. If you are not sure where to start, she suggested you begin by simply tracking what you spend with a goal of understanding “what it costs to be you.” While there are numerous apps and tools out there to accomplish this task, Hulvey seemed particularly fond of a website/app called “You Need a Budget,” which offers a free year of service to students and comes with a suite of reporting and analytical tools.

The Four Rules of Budgeting

The conversation next turned to the magic formula for financial success—Hulvey’s four rules of budgeting.

Rule 1: Give Every Dollar a Job. This stands for the proposition that a budget should begin by taking a look at your income and spending/saving plan such that when you subtract the latter from the former, you are left with zero dollars remaining. For those who are not yet sure about what their income will be, Hulvey recommended visiting www.paycheckcity.com, where you can put in your projected salary and have it adjusted for federal, state, and local taxes.

Rule 2: Embrace your True Expenses. The goal behind this rule is to keep your budget level and avoid any large spikes in spending by accounting for everything in advance. This may involve saving each month for large holiday spending at the end of the year, adjusting for expected end-of-year tax expenses, and planning for annual vehicle maintenance.

Rule 3: Roll with the Punches. Recognizing that a budget is a tool to help you, Hulvey encouraged attendees to move spending allocations around in their budget when needed (either voluntarily due to desired purchases or involuntarily due to unexpected expenses) to make their budget fit their changing needs.

Rule 4: Age your Money. This maxim stands for the idea that you should live on your last month's income, rather than paycheck-to-paycheck, to avoid risk during unexpected turmoil.

Final Tips

The afternoon’s conversation also included a discussion of working with your life partner to understand both of your goals and make a plan that everyone can live with, a recommendation to get receipts for all purchases so that multiple items bought at one store can be properly allocated to their appropriate spending category, and to automate any payments and expenses that you can to take advantage of interest rate discounts and save time. It’s no TRICK; if you’ve found this article beneficial, my last piece of advice to you would be to stop ghosting your financial responsibilities and TREAT yourself to an appointment with the office to get more individualized assistance today.

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wrf4bh@virginia.edu  

Five Takeaways from 1L So Far

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Brooke Boyer '26
Staff Editor

It’s strange to think that just a little over two months ago, I had not even set foot inside a law school class, briefed a case, or heard of “outlining.” Fast forward two months, however, I’ve read and briefed tons of cases, attended networking events, and started to contemplate summer internships. Final exams are quickly approaching, and the outlining process has begun. As we pass the mid-semester mark, I’ve had the time to reflect on some of the key things I have learned as a 1L here at UVA Law.

1. Law school is hard!

This one may seem a bit obvious, but law school is hard. I learned very quickly that I may have initially underestimated how challenging law school really is. On top of reading hundreds of cases and taking notes, we juggle our involvement in student organizations, the search for summer jobs, our social lives, and the tasks of everyday life. Sometimes twenty-four hours in a day just doesn’t seem like enough time to get everything done. Even though it can feel a bit overwhelming and difficult to keep up, the busy nature of 1L year has motivated me to develop a more consistent routine and find balance amid the chaos. Specifically, I’ve learned how important it is to prioritize taking time for myself, even if it’s as simple as going to bed early or getting a matcha latte at Starbucks.

2. Cold calls aren’t *THAT* scary

Long before even deciding that I wanted to go to law school, I distinctly remember watching the first episode of How to Get Away with Murder and feeling Wesley’s fear as Professor Keating intimidatingly pressed him on the meaning of “mens rea.” As Wesley desperately searched his criminal law casebook for the answer, Professor Keating chastised him for his lack of preparedness, and his peers laughed at him. That scene was what I envisioned law school to be like until I actually became a law student.

After being cold called several times and seeing others get cold called, though, I learned that the televised portrayals of what law school is like are far from accurate. In reality, no one really cares if you bomb a cold call or volunteer the wrong answer in class. No one will laugh at you and the professor will probably just move on to the next student. Even though I have undeniably felt embarrassed in the moment after not giving the greatest answer on a cold call, I’ve learned that others will forget about the incident in minutes, and I eventually will as well.

3. You WILL start thinking like a lawyer—inside and (weirdly) outside of the classroom

When talking to those in the legal profession, I have been told time and time again that law school classes are meant to make students “think like lawyers.” Little did I know that this new way of thinking would not only happen in class, but extend far outside of the classroom as well. I find myself unironically making law-related jokes while out at Bar Review, thinking bitterly about the times I potentially could have sued, and hesitating to immediately click the box accepting the terms and conditions on a website. While the neurological side effects of law school are certainly strange, I take it as a good sign that I’m learning a lot and processing that information.

4. Having a solid support system makes all the difference

To reiterate the point stated in Takeaway #1, law school is HARD. As a result of these challenges, I’ve learned how important it is to maintain the important relationships in my life and have a solid support system of family, friends, and classmates to rely on. Whether its asking classmates in my section for help when I feel confused after a lecture (shoutout Section E), FaceTiming my parents to talk about completely non-law-related topics, or chatting with my roommate about our days, having people to count on and talk to when things get stressful has made navigating law school a lot less scary and lonely.

5. Law school is fun!

Even though law school is hard (see Takeaway #1), I’ve also learned that it’s a lot of fun—especially at UVA. Although there is a lot of work to be done each week, it is an amazing opportunity to be surrounded by so many driven individuals, learn from exceptional professors each day, and be a part of student organizations I am passionate about. There are also so many fun events both on campus and around Charlottesville. Whether it’s going to Carter Mountain for the Thursday Sunset Series, cheering for my sectionmates at softball games, hanging out in Spies between classes, or dressing up for Halloween, there is little time left over to be bored.

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ews6tm@virginia.edu 

Law Weekly's Spring Course Suggestions

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Ethan Brown ‘25
Features Editor

It’s the loveliest time of year at UVA Law: course selection. Each fall, about eight weeks from finals, we get to forget about the classes we’re actually enrolled in and instead focus our energies on deciding what classes will consume our lives in the spring. I always find this to be welcome news, because searching for and adding classes to my LCS list feels productive but requires no brainpower, unlike the thirty-five page paper I’m procrastinating.

But despite being very excited by many of the classes that our faculty are offering next semester, I have a few suggestions for classes I’d like to see added to the Course List, too. I’ve already done Dean Dugas ’01 and faculty members the courtesy of writing the course descriptions, so really, I see no excuse for these not being promptly added to my LCS log.

Uncivil Procedure

You’ve taken 1L Civil Procedure, but now, learn how to navigate the federal court system like a complete and utter jerk. Welcome to Uncivil Procedure. In this three-credit class, you’ll learn how to get under the skin of opposing counsel by everything from cleverly skirting around their discovery requests to the point of infuriation, to belittling them based on the law school they went to. Enrollment is limited to the most annoying gunners from your 1L section. If none come to mind, then surprise! You’re that gunner. Uncivil Procedure has automatically been added to your schedule accordingly.

Vampire Law (SC)

Inspired by the hit TV show What We Do In The Shadows, a mockumentary profiling the lives of three vampires in suburban Staten Island, this one-credit short course delves into the intricacies of vampire law. Topics include: jurisdictional authority of the Vampiric Council; legal and ethical considerations regarding the slaughter of innocents for their blood; intestate succession of the undead; and tort reform to provide a cause of action for dignitary torts involving a familiar’s request to be “turned” by a vampire other than his master.[1]The class runs during the coldest week of January from Monday, January 22 to Saturday, January 27,[2] from the stroke of midnight until the first sign of dawn. Professor’s identity unknown.[3]

Law and Attachment Styles Colloquium[4]

A lot of law students are in therapy. Who knew that putting a bunch of insecure, competitive, Type-A people who’ve based their entire worth on external validation for two decades might cause some heartache. But don’t worry; your maladaptive ways of coping with trauma and stress fit in neatly with the practice of law, which sustains itself on the constant neurosis of its practitioners!

In this four-credit class that gets curved to a B at the end of the semester—no floating curve for this bad boy!—students with Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized attachment styles will learn how being a lawyer will embolden their most toxic traits. For example, anxious students will be able to engage in simulations where their strong fear of authority-figure abandonment causes them to overcommit to projects in their first six months of Big Law. Avoidant students will get a glimpse at how they’ll shut out loved ones—and fall into a chasm of loneliness—as they navigate representing their first criminal defendant in court.

Academic Credit for Journals

LOL, what an unbelievable thought, even to this satire writer.

Constitutional Law XXX

We’ve all taken (or will soon take) Constitutional Law, and many UVA Law students have also taken a second sequence of the course aptly entitled “Constitutional Law II.” Those classes have historically tackled important topics like religious liberty, freedom of speech and the press, and poverty. But now try Constitutional Law XXX: Obscenity (which imports the Law School’s jovial Roman numeral tradition for these courses as a clever nod to its content.) Imagine how sick this one’s going to look on your transcript.

Passive-Aggressive Litigation Clinic

This yearlong clinic offers students a masterclass in passive-aggressive lawyering. Participants will learn how to apply their legal research, writing, and oral advocacy skills to future situations in their career where open negativity is discouraged, such as in the workplace or the courtroom. Students can expect to learn how to best use curt turns of phrase in emails to junior associates, how to communicate intense disdain through non-verbal cues, and how to convey a sense of unbridled disgust with those around you in just a few words.

After the first semester, students will be assigned to clients in need of passive-aggressive lawyering in the Charlottesville area. For example, some students can expect to help locals with drafting text messages to their far flung children, guilt-tripping them over not coming home for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Others may be assigned to the local office of the DMV, assisting those who need cutting yet subtle insults to direct towards the innocent people working there.

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] Fans of the show who actually understand these references should listen to my boyfriend’s WWDITS show rewatch podcast, Brain Scramblies, available on Spotify. I promised him a promo.

[2] Vampire Law does not meet on Sundays, because duh.

[3] Because vampires are not a protected class under Title VII, they may not be protected from employment discrimination on the basis of their vampirism.

[4] Not endorsed by CAPS.