Jessie Conover '20
Disgruntled Reader
Dear Virginia Law Weekly,
I have LRW in one hour and should be working on my major memo outline, yet I instead take the time to write to you about a petty issue in [last] week’s Virginia Law Weekly.
I wish to call attention to an inaccuracy in the article titled “Young Children Terrorize North Grounds.” The reporter referred to the apples in the Community Fellows’ apple bobbing tub as “Honeycrisps,” which is worthy of correction for three reasons:
(1) They were not Honeycrisps. They were Empire apples. Honeycrisps are larger, juicier (owing to their larger cells), and ideal for eating raw. Empires are a much more standard, old school “lunch box apple” that is perfectly fine but not great. They are also smaller, on average, than Honeycrisps. This factual inaccuracy alone would be enough to issue a retraction, but I will continue nevertheless.
(2) Do you know how much Honeycrisps cost? We* appreciate the compliment, but we are not about to spend upwards of $3 per child for a little fall-themed fun. Even Section G with their full-size candy bar wheel didn’t spend that much.
(3) Honeycrisp apples, while more delicious to eat, are a terrible bobbing apple. Their large size and firm skin make grasping them with one’s teeth nearly impossible. Combine that with the small aperture of a child’s mouth and the frigid water temperature of the bobbing water and you are practically accusing the Community Fellows of torturing young children. Shame on you.
I read-skim the Virginia Law Weekly at least once a month and I am astounded at the uncharacteristic lack of professionalism on display here. For the love of print media please factcheck your articles, particularly when it’s an issue of high import such as a terrorism exposé.
Faithfully yours,
Jessie
*This is a rhetorical “we.” I have no authority to speak on behalf of the Community Fellows.
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jec2tf@virginia.edu
**Editor’s note: The Law Weekly apologizes for the error, we guess, but also applauds this diligent reader for her knowledge of apples and willingness to confront others about apple-based ignorance. The world needs more Jessies.**