Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Satire Editor & Photographer
This weekend, Outdoors at Virginia Law (OVAL) went on its first outing of the semester—a 7.5-mile kayaking/canoeing trip down the Jackson River. However, this trip was not without its challenges. In the middle of the week, the James River, the originally planned route, was blasted with about six inches of rain. Twin River Outfitters, the company who supplied the boats and paddles, deemed the route too unsafe to continue, and the trip looked doomed. However, thanks to the wonderful guidance and planning skills of John Schutte, ’22, one of OVAL’s trip coordinators, the outing was kept alive. In what I can only imagine was some of the best behind-closed-doors negotiating done in UVA Law history, Schutte came out on top, and the trip could continue. However, the change of location would prove too steep a challenge for two unnamed would-be attendees who arrived, perfectly on time, at the wrong river Saturday morning.[1]
While the trials of this trip did not end here for some,[2] after this substantial hiccup, things moved forward without a hitch. All told, sixteen students attended the trip, resulting in fourteen kayaks and one canoe setting out just downstream of Moomaw Lake at around 11:45 a.m. Saturday. The trip began with a hurried, yet comprehensive, list of the dangers we might encounter on the river, only two of which stood out: strainers[3] and the paper mill. Strainers are trees which have fallen to create underwater obstacles which, in worst-case scenarios, can result in a drowned paddler. The paper mill is exactly what it sounds like: a paper mill. The only risk was missing our takeout point and eventually becoming both a case in a torts textbook, as well as the paper it was printed on. Luckily, neither obstacle posed any issue.The weather was chilly upon arrival, but the sun soon joined us on the trip. The temperature stayed pleasantly in the 70s—all-in-all it could not have been better weather. It was the first time on the water for one paddler; others were seasoned veterans, with some even paddling back upstream at times to get more of the sweet release from law school that the outdoors provides.
(Almost) All of the trip members assembled after a successful day on the river. Photo Courtesy of Jonathan Peterson '23.
The stretch of river meandered through a forest, the name of which I do not know, which at times abutted private properties. The river was almost entirely empty—outside of our group we saw just two other boats, both fishing vessels, one of which contained a trip-member’s high school ex-boyfriend, which was a beautiful and natural occurrence. Generally, trees framed the outer edges of the river, however, at times, we were blessed with cliffs rising as high as two hundred feet above us, accompanied by intrusive thoughts of what it would be like to do a cannonball from the ridges into the river.[4] Unfortunately, wildlife was generally absent save some geese, ducks, and tiny snails I found on the bottom of a rock.
The river itself was lovely. Relatively low water levels brought us a steady stream[5] of low-intensity rapids and, at times, butt massages,[6] which certainly kept things interesting. Longer, deeper channels left time for trip members to leisurely float, paddle backwards down the river, or for the less-mature among us, participate in some friendly boat-ramming. One particular rapid comes to mind. Situated on the outside bend of the river, five boats decided to tackle it at once, which resulted in my unfortunate kayak being pushed directly through a veritable river wave, dumping water into my boat, and leaving my underprepared self soaking wet and without a change of clothes.
However, for this author, the highlight of the trip was a dog. Bojangles was hefty, inquisitive, talkative, and out of control. His owner was feeding bread to ducks on the side of the river—a relationship she has painstakingly developed over time. Bojangles, like his namesake, seems to love poultry. Barking and heaving himself to his feet, he waddled slowly down the river, with the owner’s young daughter instructed to not “let Bojangles get in the water and chase those ducks!” Bojangles, however, is not a lawful dog. Slowly and without grace, he descended into the stream to chase his lifelong foes. I was more worried about Bojangles’ safety than the ducks, as I was unsure if a dog of his great stature would be able to haul himself back out of the river. Unfortunately, it is unclear how this river drama ended, as we paddled onward, barks and cries of “Bojangles, NO!” faded into the distance behind us.
All in all, the trip was a complete success. Everyone was safe, people smarter than me used sunscreen, and, as far as I know, all sixteen members avoided being turned into paper. Keep an eye out for pictures (and videos) from the trip—they will be posted on our Instagram page @uvaoval. And we hope to see all of you out on the next trip!
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jtp4bw@virginia.edu
[1] Rest assured, they had a magical river/hike date together, which involved dogs, ten miles of walking, and a black snake ominously backing into the hollow of a tree. We missed them dearly.
[2] This was more of a personal issue, however. Let’s just say a trip to Boylan after Friday’s game left OVAL’s president running a little late to the D3 parking lot and severely lacking in preparation Saturday morning.
[3] Upon spotting a strainer, the author of this article exclaimed “strainer? I hardly know ‘er!” Clearly, I inspire confidence on the river.
[4] Certain death.
[5] In case this pun is missed I’m pointing it out. Pun intended.
[6] From rocks scraping the bottoms of kayaks in low water.