Nikolai Morse ‘24
Guest Editor
This past Saturday, future attorneys general, law firm partners, and all manner of other brochure buzzwords gathered to engage in the ritual hazing induction of the 1L class known as Dandelion. The beautiful weather, free pizza and beverages, and the (sometimes unnerving) eagerness of the 2Ls to celebrate a ritual they missed last year, all contributed to an excellent time. The 1Ls danced, the 2Ls and 3Ls laughed and applauded, and for a while we all forgot about mask theater.
Section A kicked things off with the most clever legal pun / theme of the day: AB(B)A. Set to “Dancing Queen”, the group dressed in flashy clothes (including a pair of purple short-shorts which one bystander called “uncomfortable for the audience and performer alike.”) Minor acrobatics and spirited inclusion of the audience earned Section A an honorable mention.
Next came Section B, whose initial performance begged the question, “How far can a uniform take a performance?” However, some incredible solo dances and the group’s increasingly enthusiastic hip movement won over the judges, yielding Section B 2d place. This reporter awards extra points for the pyrotechnics and the Backstreet Boys theme, including headsets.
With the bar set high for the section without Friday classes, Section C came to play with an overall impressive performance and widely applauded music choice. Section C gets extra credit for the most unnerving use of grapefruit juice imaginable. Confusion over section C’s theme aside, the judges awarded them 1st place. Unfortunately, their success on the stage did not translate to the softball field against the not-entirely-sober NGSL. Let’s hope there are some Friday practices in Section C’s future.
Section D: confusion reigns. What this group’s theme was, or why they neglected the obvious choice of “DONDA-lion” is anyone’s guess. The only thing that is certain is that in an event where other teams actively try not to get first seed, Section D redefined “gunner” by showing up in full softball gear, prepared to face NGSL. This reporter offers them extra points for their confidence and looks forward to seeing them on the field.
With four students dressed as professors leading the group, Section E took the stage. Gasps and suggestive hoots followed the risqué portrayal of Professor Bamzai, including a surprising degree of flexibility that this reporter hopes carries over into real life. Big points for the #FREEBRITNEY theme. Minor points deducted for it being very unclear how this related to the letter “E”. A well-earned 3rd place finish.
Section F - With arguably the most well-coordinated dance routine, Section F gets an A- for dancing, but a D+ for repeating section B’s Backstreet song (but a mitigating B+ for having much better matching outfits). Solid A for a strong finish with Fergalicious and (presumably) this being their theme. This reporter firmly believes they should have been on the podium and has already lodged a complaint against NGSL in the local small claims court.
Section G, where to begin? All the ingredients were there: matching flannels, a “hoe-down” pun, and Miley Cyrus. But just like Kanye’s last two albums, it somehow never came together. Given the overall confusion, the only thing we can say with certainty is that they did not come anywhere near the bar Section A set. A+ for effort.
Wrapping things up, Section H began their routine with trap music and an energy so intense many audience members visibly stepped back. Extra points for the I <3 Hot Moms T-shirt (also assuming this is the theme?) Points docked for the Pats jersey. Easily the grittiest (scariest, even) performance of the day, and truly helped Dandelion go out with a bang.
In closing, Dandelion lived up to its true purpose as an incredible welcome for the 1Ls, followed by a hearty consolation rave for the 2Ls to blow off some clearly pent-up steam. And Section G, we’ll see you and your flannels on the softball field.
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cpg9jy@virginia.edu