Bryanna Lindberg '23
Foreign Correspondent
I reached a milestone yesterday—twenty-seven countries in twenty-seven years. In honor of my twenty-seventh travelversary, here are five travel tips I’ve picked up from my years of globetrotting.
No one cares about your travel stories. Share them anyways.
It is fitting that I’m sharing these travel tips with you, faithful Law Weekly reader, even though you didn’t want them, didn’t ask for them, and don’t care what I have to say, because sharing unsolicited travel stories is what travelers do. Have you ever been like, “This is a great pickle,” and someone says, “It reminds me of that time I went to the Philippines and ate balut,” and you sigh because no one asked? Well, that’s me. And yes, one time I went to the Philippines and ate balut, and it tasted like chicken.[1] See, tip number one and you’re already learning things.
Pictured: Balut.
Photo Credit: Modern Farmer.
Trust Google Maps with your life.
No, seriously, if Google Maps tells you to chop off your toe and feed it to a pigeon, do it. Google Maps knows things about this world that our most powerful leaders can’t begin to fathom. And I’m talking about Google Maps, not Apple Maps.[2] Apple Maps abroad is like every LRW memo I wrote as a 1L—poorly researched, poorly organized, and confusing. Google Maps, on the other hand, is perfectly Bluebooked poetry.
Sometimes you’re going to get ripped off, and you should learn to let it go.
I hate being taken advantage of, and it’s led to some heated arguments. I once got into a shouting match with an Indian taxi driver because he overcharged me for a ride, which culminated in him driving off with my 1000-rupee note because I didn’t have smaller bills. The moral of the story is, I would have saved 600 rupees if I’d let him rip me off. Traveling is a vulnerable activity. Some people will take advantage of your lack of local know-how, and when that happens, it’s important to remember that the difference between a 200-rupee taxi ride and a 400-rupee taxi ride is $2.43. You’re already getting ripped off by UVA; a taxi ride is small change in comparison.
Awkward moments make for funny stories.
Last week, my roommate and I ordered a dessert we’d seen advertised all over Istanbul, called knafeh. When our waiter brought it, he made a big show of cutting my slice, and then he fed me a piece. I’ve never had a grown man feed me dessert before, and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t hot. I started laughing nervously as I chewed my piece, which tasted like melted mozzarella cheese covered in syrupy shredded wheat, and then he wiped my mouth with a napkin. It was horrifying. “We need to get out of here before he comes back,” I told my roommate. But before we could escape, he sat down in the booth beside me, put his arm around me, and tried to feed me another piece. I closed my mouth and shook my head like a child who doesn’t want to eat their peas and pointed at my roommate. “No, feed her instead,” I said weakly, but he insisted. I reluctantly opened my mouth for the second bite of knafeh, which tasted just as bad as the first time. He attempted to wipe my mouth again, but I snatched the napkin out of his hand because strong, independent women wipe their own mouths. As we were leaving the restaurant, he grabbed my hand and kissed it, and I told my roommate that I didn’t care how good their hummus was, we were never going back to Buhara Ocakbasi Restaurant. The point of this story? Lean into the awkwardness, because it will help you reach your word count.[3]
Don’t eat the weird meat.
Trust me, don’t do it. When I was in Ethiopia, I ate some raw beef because all the cool kids were doing it, and eighteen hours later, I woke up on the floor of my friend’s kitchen, having passed out on my way to purge the entire contents of my stomach for the fourteenth time. Have you ever wondered if it’s physically possible to throw up your own stomach as you dragged yourself on your hands and knees to a Squatty Potty because you were too weak to stand?[4] If you have, text me, and we’ll start a support group.
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bl2am@virginia.edu
[1] Balut is a fertilized developing egg embryo, typically a duck, that is boiled and eaten with salt and vinegar.
[2] After driving to California and back this summer, I’ve decided that I prefer Apple Maps to Google Maps, but only for domestic travel. If you’re traveling internationally, it’s Google Maps or certain death.
[3] The Law Weekly executive board would like to be clear: We neither requested, nor even desired, that Bryanna go through this in order to hit a word count.
[4] Also called a squat toilet, it’s exactly what it sounds like.