Sai Kulkarni ‘23
Production Editor
I want to begin this article by acknowledging the obvious: I use this newspaper to write jokes. I talk about my social life and do my best to entertain. Yet, when you see the title of this article, I am sure you realize this article will be out of the norm. Mental health is not something to joke about.[1] So for some of you, it may seem out of the ordinary for me to talk about this. But for my closest friends, this is nothing new. They know me as someone who doesn’t shut up about my own issues; as far as they are concerned, some of them are probably surprised that it took me this long to take the subject to the Law Weekly. More to the point, spring semester in particular was rough for me as a 1L—as it was for many of my fellow students in the Class of 2023. It seemed like all of us had interpersonal, family, or financial issues[2] pop up during that time. Despite this, many of us engaged in unhealthy habits and did not talk to each other about what we were dealing with.
I bucked the trend and spoke about what I was dealing with then.[3] I was told by another friend, when I proposed this article, that perhaps it would be helpful for me to write this with a more serious tone—rather than with my usual humor. So here goes: to the 1Ls in spring semester right now, please speak out.[4] I know it's hard, believe me. But talking to a therapist, to your friends, to your family, to all your loved ones, helps. At times, I have reached into each of those pools and they have each been effective to varying degrees. As I mentioned earlier, I know many people who dealt with their issues in silence last year. And those same people have gone on to tell me that they regretted doing so. I don’t want that to be you. Depression and anxiety are, unfortunately, constant battles and I don’t want you going to war without your best support available.
For those of you facing stress from family issues, I see you. It can be hard to share that with the people around you. So many of us hesitate to share because we don’t want to play the so-called “Oppression Olympics.” Us first generation law students, especially, feel incredibly grateful to be at law school at all, so it is hard to talk about anything we are dealing with and yet feel like we are making light of where we are. I see you. But believe me when I say that there are no “Oppression Olympics” here. The benefit of coming to UVA Law is that “collegial atmosphere” that the admissions office loves to rave about. While at times, the school can feel cliquey, that same social closeness is what makes people more understanding. By sharing, you never know it, but you might open the door to your listener opening up about a very similar issue. I can’t recommend therapy enough for this. And if you can’t afford it, I understand that too—mental healthcare is expensive.[5] Talk to the school, reach out to find resources that are more affordable, or for a good payment plan. Often times, those who feel intimidated by the price are hesitant to even look at these potential options. I am encouraging you to go for it. It will be life-changing in a good way.
For those of you dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression caused by school work, I see you. There was a time when I decided to simply be in the library, at a silent desk, for hours at a time without social interaction. It felt better to disappear and stress myself out with school work than to deal with any of the other issues I was facing. I understand the double-edged sword of escape and hyper-stress. Talking to your friends might actually make this one worse. With all of the competition and bragging about how much/how little we do, I get it—talking to each other might be bad. But this is where family, college friends, and, again, therapy come in. Don’t drown yourself in work. Don’t spiral into work as an alternative to dealing with issues. Talk about it. All of it. I see you, and I am telling you, talking about it will help.
Finally, to those dealing with worsening mental health due to interpersonal issues,[6] I see you. This is the broadest category, ranging from benign (feeling isolated from friends) to incredibly serious.[7] While I will never claim to be an expert on all of these issues, what I will claim to be an expert on is talking about them. And I don’t just mean my problems, I mean listening to others about theirs. This is the category where communication is key. Feeling isolated or that your friends are turning on you or just that you don’t fit in is part and parcel of being in such a small, high academic achievement environment. By no means does that mean that these issues are not serious: they are, incredibly so. Communication to a trusted source, though, is absolutely crucial here. Communicating with friends that you feel isolated. Communicating to your section mates or your student organizations that you don’t feel welcome or at home here. That is absolutely crucial. Take it from me, these issues are constant and if left silent and untreated, they can get worse. Once again, I can’t emphasize enough, therapy helps. It may even be a step towards getting medication that you need.[8]
The reason this article was written now was that after an abrupt end to Feb Club and Spring Break, it can feel like coming back from a concert right now: that was so amazing but now it’s time to deal with the unfortunate reality of life. The come down, frankly, can suck. What I’ve talked about here is just a taste of the issues that so many of us are dealing with. I am unable to cover them all with detail because this article is limited by my own experiences. But whether it was my family issues, academic stress, or interpersonal issues, I know what would have happened if I hadn’t reached out. So, I am glad I did. I hope you do too. And at the very least, I know how recognizable and loud I am. Find me. I’m here to listen to everything, big or small. Being there for people and providing help where I can, is the most rewarding thing to me. But seriously, therapy. Can’t recommend it enough.
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omk6cg@virginia.edu
[1] I fully acknowledge that I do make such jokes in my personal life as a coping mechanism. It is unhealthy, and I am working on it. Something for all of us to consider.
[2] And for an unlucky few, all three.
[3] Much to the chagrin of, particularly, Parker Kelly ’23, Skylar Drefcinski ’23, and Brecken Petty ‘23 who were forced to listen to it the most. Appreciate y’all.
[4] This article is directed to 1Ls. But if any 2Ls or 3Ls find this helpful, all the better.
[5] This is bullshit. It shouldn’t be.
[6] Or as some people refer to it (with derision): drama.
[7] You know what I am referring to here. I will not use the terms, but just know you are seen and you are loved.
[8] Not a path for everyone, but certainly one that should be in consideration.