Noah Coco '26
Staff Editor
Throughout the Thanksgiving break, I was constantly reminded how much “law student” has become one of my dominant identities. Between updating my uncle on my summer plans, explaining to my brother-in-law what a tort is, or getting in a few class readings before joining the rest of the family for brunch, I annoyed even myself with the law school talk. Expectedly, even Thanksgiving dinner was overcome by thoughts of law school as I started to think about the food that I was about to share with family in terms of common law school stereotypes. So without further ado, what does your favorite Thanksgiving dinner food say about you?
1. Turkey
Your palate is not very refined. You want to be the star of the show, and perhaps you are, but you nonetheless lack much depth or nuance. That, or you are just a gym-goer thinking about how much lean protein you have to complete your meal prep for the next week, in which case you might just not be an interesting person. You probably read the Wall Street Journal and most likely came to UVA because of the softball.
2. Stuffing
You are warm and wholesome. You respect tradition, but not the rough edges of it that your uncle keeps bringing up over Thanksgiving dinner. You are more than the sum of your parts and are a dependable member of your friend group. You probably have a reasonable bedtime most nights. You are likely a big fan of cookie Friday and frequent the Student Affairs office for some midday snacks.
3. Dinner Rolls
Honestly, you are pretty basic. You sound a little bland and are probably not a very big fan of Thanksgiving either. Seriously, why not opt for the infinitely more interesting stuffing, which is, after all, just flavored bread? You have questionable judgment and probably should not become a judge. Maybe tax law will be a more appropriate option for you to pursue?
4. Sweet Potato Casserole
You are flexible but probably try too hard to have it both ways. Are you a deliciously crisp and sweet praline topping, or just…mush (albeit very vibrant mush)? You might even be a self-deprecating Virginia Law Weeklywriter. Either way, you’re quite indecisive and are still probably trying to figure out if you should do litigation or transactional work.
5. Corn
You’re a nerd. Or you are from the Midwest. I guess you care about healthy digestion, which is great, but really? Unless you are the source of a beloved internet meme, it’s just not cute. You are probably a week ahead on your readings and like to talk about Civ Pro cases at parties.
6. Mashed Potatoes
You're sturdy yet unremarkable. Not bold enough to go for the sweet potatoes, yet competent enough to forego the dinner roll for your starchy fixing. Suffice it to say, there are better options out there, but there are also many more worse ones. You may actually be the quintessential risk-averse lawyer type, which is frankly a safe place to be.
7. Cranberry Sauce
You’re quirky but also sweet. You might be shy, but you also harbor some zest and pop. You’re unabashedly yourself even if you are not always appreciated. Good for you! You probably do your grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, buy your clothes from thrift shops, and start your day with a dose of NPR. You’ve probably taken Animal Law, but if not, there is still time.
8. Green Bean Casserole
Your life is truly about balance. A balance between what is good for you and what is a little more indulgent. You bring energy and a case of White Claws to parties, but you probably went to the gym earlier in the day. You’re not going to stay up late to finish those readings, and Celsiuses fuel your days. You might bomb that cold-call, but you always ace the exam.
9. Pumpkin Pie
You are honestly just here to skip straight to the end. You’re probably the first person to bring out a sweater once the first leaf changes its color and spend too much time on Instagram when you should be at least skimming your casebook for tomorrow’s readings. You are probably a big fan of Quimbee and have been to every bar review. You will end up just fine though, enjoying your just desserts on that Big Law salary.
10. Leftovers
You are creative and free-spirited. You didn’t let this listicle confine you to the artificial constraints of actual Thanksgiving dinner. You just can't help yourself from picking on cold leftovers right out of the fridge, and more power to you. You may even like to wear flannels. But you certainly don’t always follow the rules, which is an interesting trait for an aspiring attorney. Tread carefully, perhaps.
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cmz4bx@virginia.edu