Eric Hall '18
Former Managing Editor and Suspected Student-Fund Embezzler
Where are you headed after graduation?
The undrained Swamp two hours up Route 29 to put in some Days, nights, and weekends for BigLaw.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Best case scenario, I’m managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.
What’s your fondest memory in law school?
Hanging out with Alex Haden '17 and Jenna Goldman '19 from six until midnight every Monday, playing Quiplash with my first 1L section (<3 §E), rafting near-freezing whitewater with outdoors club—they’re all pretty much tied for me. This is a great place to do law school.
Fondest Law Weekly memory?
Meeting ANG for the first time. It was a religious moment. I still tear up whenever I catch a whiff of skunked PBR and Food Lion sushi. :’(
What was the best meal you ate in Charlottesville?
The Margherita at LAMPO. D.O.C. or G.T.F.O.
How are you coping with your impending senility and death?
Scrolling Law School Memes for Edgy T14s until the pain fades. Incidentally, this is also how I’m prepping for exams.
Words of advice of those left to mourn celebrate your absence?
An em-dash is the width of an “M.” An en-dash is the width of an “N.”
ech8vm@virginia.edu
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Lia-Michelle Keane '18
Former Features Editor and Designated Enforcer
Where are you headed after graduation?
To greener pastures. Well, more accurately, a concrete jungle—New York, to be exact.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Probably still at a firm, preferably in an office next to a coffee machine, and hopefully the mother of a Frenchie and a poodle-mix named Scalia and Ginsburg, respectively. #worklifebalance
What’s your fondest memory in law school?
Something something Biltmore, duh. Actually, I was scrolling through old Facebook photos recently and saw the picture that my entire 1L section took with Professor Hylton on the last day of Property, and I think that might be it. (Nostalgia is real, kids.)
Fondest Law Weekly memory?
It’s a tie between one of my articles beating the Law School’s Twitter page on a breaking story (pwned!) and answering this Hot Bench. After two years of asking the questions, it’s finally my time to shine.
What was the best meal you ate in Charlottesville?
I don’t know if it’s the best meal I’ve eaten in Charlottesville, but according to my GrubHub history, my #1 go-to order is a lamb vindaloo with garlic naan from Milan.
How are you coping with your impending senility and death?
Fortunately, after taking Estate Planning this semester, I am happy to report that all of my affairs are in order. I am leaving my prized collection of colored pens and all my paper plates to the Law Weekly. Hopefully the paper’s budget can cover the estate tax.
Words of advice for those left to mourn your absence?
In lieu of flowers and graduation cards, please make donations to my student loan balance (Account No.: 18-00-00). My advice is that you direct others to do the same for you when you graduate.
lk3da@virginia.edu
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Gregory Ranzini '18
Former News Editor and Team Cynic
Where are you headed after graduation?
Skadden’s Wilmington, DE office.
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Skadden’s Wilmington, DE office?
What’s your fondest memory in law school?
In a characteristic case of throwing myself into a project without considering what all it might entail, I wound up spending a year defending a student in an Honor case—despite never joining the Committee. So, I guess, my fondest memory would be getting those charges dropped.
Fondest Law Weekly memory?
That time ATL ran an article on one of my articles.
What was the best meal you ate in Charlottesville?
The Buff Orpington pizza at Dr. Ho’s, with the bacon replaced with roasted garlic cloves. It’s like getting beaten in the face with a baseball bat made out of umami.
How are you coping with your impending senility and death?
Look, back when I was twelve or so I spent my summers raising chickens, growing flax, and apprenticing as a blacksmith.[1] Then I found out that there isn’t really a job market for 18th century German peasants anymore.[2] So, it would be fair to say that I peaked early and have had a lot of time to make peace with my inevitable demise.[3]
Words of advice for those left to mourn your absence?
Ergonomic keyboards are a lot cheaper than carpal tunnel release surgery—and, having owned the former and watched the latter performed in person, a lot less gross as well.
[1] Not actually kidding about this.
[2] That, and I genuinely find law more interesting and fun.
[3] Here’s one last footnote to make life difficult for Anand when he typesets this.
gpr7qx@virginia.edu
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Jenna Goldman '18
Former Editor-in-Chief and Former Omni Hotel Prisoner
Where are you headed after graduation?
New York City, baby.
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Buried under the crippling weight of student loans, of course!
What’s your fondest memory in law school?
Besides winning the ABA best law school newspaper award?[1] Probably sleeping in front of the Supreme Court to hear the decision get handed down in Whole Women’s Health with some fellow law students. It was the first time as a law student that I felt so connected to a decision in real time.
Fondest Law Weekly memory?
My time at the Law Weekly has been one long montage of late-night editing, Lady Gaga sing-alongs, angry emails, and wondering what to do with all the leftover pizza we give away for free every Monday in SL 279 starting at 5 p.m. Well, and winning the ABA’s award for best law school newspaper.[2]
What was the best meal you ate in Charlottesville?
Kao Soi at Monsoon Siam, tell them Jenna sent you. Two more referrals and I get a plaque.
How are you coping with your impending senility and death?
I am perfectly at peace. I have Carole King and James Taylor’s greatest hits playing at all times, and I am almost one-third through writing my memoir, “The Audacity of Nope: The Jenna Goldman Story.”
Words of advice of those left to mourn your absence?
No one will remember you for your smarmy comments in class; you will, however, be remembered for your epic CoPA dissent and your article on bear safety, likely saving the lives of thousands. Solidify your place in University of Virginia School of Law history and write for the best newspaper in the country, the Virginia Law Weekly.
[1] Did you hear about that? We're the best!
[2] That was a thing that happened! Tell your friends!
jmg3db@virginia.edu
she/her/hers