Nate Wunderli ‘22
Staff Editor
I took this girl on a date once. I picked her up, walked her to my car, and got the door for her like any gentleman would do. It was mid-November, it had just snowed, and I had some Christmas tunes playing in my car. Less than five minutes into the drive, to my great dismay, she pushed the radio button, thwarting my Christmas music playlist with a swift stroke of her pointer finger. It was in that moment I realized: People don’t joke around about when they start listening to Christmas music.
Admittedly, listening to the occasional Mariah Carey, Justin Bieber, or Bing Crosby Christmas songs in the middle of July puts me in a rare class of individuals who simply do not care about any arbitrary rules regarding when someone should or should not listen to Christmas tunes. But mid-November? What kind of heart of unwashed socks, appalling dump-heap of a soul, full of gunk, with the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile[1]kind of person refuses to listen to Christmas music in mid-November? Turns out, a lot of people, and this article is about why they are wrong.
The Christmas season is a time for family, a time for giving, peace, joy, and love. Buddy the Elf[2]put it best when he said, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” It was Christmas music that first led the Grinch to reconsider his original belief that Christmas is a commercial enterprise-centered hoax; for when he stole all the gifts from Whoville, he expected the Whos to be sad and miserable. Instead, he found them singing with joy and happiness. Indeed, nothing warms the soul much more than a stirring rendition of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, or brings peace and calm more than Silent Night.
Andy Williams was on to something when he sang that the Christmas season is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Now, if you want to put rules around when you can or cannot celebrate the most wonderful time of the year, then go ahead. But for me, I’d like to celebrate it when and wherever I would like, for as long as I can, whether that means November, January, or even June. Sometime this year, on a cold early/mid-November day, when contracts class got me down, I will have myself a Merry Little Christmas, pretend I’m Rocking Around a Christmas tree, hear those sweet Silver Bells, smell the Chestnuts Roasting on the Open Fire,[3]and think to myself: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas. And all you can do is watch, and painfully wait, until November 28 when you can join in on the fun. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can ditch your preconceived misconceptions, throw away the shackles that bind you, and let your heart grow three sizes to where, like The Grinch himself, you can capture the true spirit of Christmas.
The grinches among you will lie and tell you that if you start listening too early then you will get sick of Christmas songs, or that one month is plenty of time to listen to them. Now I’m not suggesting you listen to solely Christmas music starting in November, or even December for that matter. But mixing in some Christmas music, no matter what time of year—especially when the days grow dark and cold—and cuddling up with a warm cup of hot chocolate and staring at a fire is something you don’t have to wait to enjoy. So, all you grinches out there, join us, because the warmth, light, and pure giddiness that comes from a good Christmas song is coming to town earlier than expected this year, will make your days merry and bright, and who knows, may even find you under the mistletoe.[4]
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nw7cz@virginia.edu
Michael Schmid ‘21
Production Editor
“It’s an abomination.” “It’s like getting a new dog before your old dog dies.” What has provoked this level of histrionics (coupled with an unnecessarily sad analogy)? The scourge of the sensible and the prudent: Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
So far, there has been a one-sided battle for end-of-the-year holiday hegemony. Christmas season creeps ever earlier in the year, blending with Halloween season for a blurry, disorienting mix of jack-o-lanterns and Last Christmason the radio. Up to this point (in the true spirit of the holiday, bless its heart) Thanksgiving has quietly accepted Christmas music encroaching on its domain. My fellow editor talks of stifling “rules” placed upon him by restricting Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. I draw my response from The Big Lebowski: Christmas has gone over the line. This is the holiday season, there are rules! It’s time for Thanksgiving to start fighting back.
First of all, it is entirely beyond me how anyone who has worked or currently works in retail could advocate for moreChristmas music. Hearing the one-hour loop of Christmas songs over and over each shift wasn’t enough for you? You want more?! Second, this is Virginia; there are actually four seasons. Unlike warmer climes to our south, Christmastime will have (at least somewhat) Christmas-y weather. This means that hearing White Christmaswhen the leaves have barely changed and some people are still wearing shorts is just downright unnecessary, people.
Thanksgiving has had a bit of an image problem. I admit it and I will offer some of my own solutions.[1]First of all, any holiday that nobody is quite sure when it will be starts at a bit of a disadvantage. My take: Embrace that element of surprise! You know it will be sometimein November, and it’ll be on a Thursday, but that’s about all you’ve got. Just go with the flow and enjoy this floating holiday! Second, since Canadian Thanksgiving takes place in October, you can celebrate the same holiday twice in two months! Finally, overshadowed by Christmas as it is, the November holiday’s role as an incubator for family conflict has only grown in recent years. My response? Don’t focus on the negatives, look to the positives![2]Thanksgiving has food, friends, family, and is a bullet-proof justification for why you aren’t outlining and instead eating pumpkin roll and watching football.
Maybe Thanksgiving needs its own songs. Think about it: Halloween has its own songs;[3]Christmas has its own songs. I think it is time for the Thanksgiving-industrial-complex to churn out some bangers to beat back Christmas music. If people want music, give them music! Any song that seamlessly rhymes the word “cornucopia” is sure to be an instant hit.
Christmas in its purest (read “de-commercialized”) form is a decidedly wonderful holiday predicated on kindness, selflessness, and togetherness. But part of what makes Christmas so special, to borrow from a song which should notbe played right about now, is that it “comes this timeeach year,”[4]not all year. It is that ephemerality that enhances the allure[5]of the season. Also, “c’mon on, man.”[6]Truly, “the fact of the matter is”[7]you’re hurting Thanksgiving’s feelings by forgetting about it. At least out of deference to a truly underappreciated holiday, give Turkey Day its time, then go all-in on Christmas music. I’ll be spending the next week dusting off my synthesizer and recorder to prepare my EP of Thanksgiving Hits.
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ms3ru@virginia.edu
[1]I will bill you for this work later, Turkey Clause.
[2]PSA: For real, though, don’t ask anyone what they’re “planning to do after graduation” or even mention the word “caucuses.”
[3]Ok, all that comes to mind is “Monster Mash” and maybe the Ghostbusters theme song but that’s still more than Thanksgiving has got.
[4]The Beach Boys, Little Saint Nick(1964) (emphasis added).
[5]Thesaurus.com tells me a good synonym for “allure” would be “bedroom eyes” and that’s just gross.
[6]Source: Joe Biden in every campaign appearance so far.
[7]Id.