Christina Luk ‘23
Editor-in-Chief
Back, Back, Back It Up
I’d tell you why my co-writer is wrong about the merits of pulling into a parking spot, but he didn’t actually give me a reason why he’s right. I can tell he’s annoyed, though. Impatience can be a terrible burden. In life, we wait for many things. We wait for coffee, we wait for the bus, we wait for professors to grade our exams, and, sometimes, we wait for people to park their cars. What does it matter if they park their car nose first or trunk first?
The difference between the two comes out in the wash. It might be faster to pull into a parking spot, but we’re all familiar with the agonizing wait to back out in a busy parking lot. On the other hand, you could spend some time backing into a spot, and then smoothly pull out when you’re done. Whether you prefer to do the work upfront or afterward is a matter of personal preference.
From a safety standpoint, though, there is a clear winner. Think of it this way: It is much harder to drive backward than forward. Not only is it difficult to see behind you, because of your car’s natural blind spots, but the controls are also backward—turning the steering wheel left moves the head of the vehicle to the right and vice-versa. For these reasons, when you do have to back up, it makes sense to do it in a way that minimizes risks.
The greatest risk on the battleground we call the modern-day parking lot is other people. You never know when an errant shopping cart, small child, or car will pass behind you as you attempt to back out. Fortunately, that is not a problem when you back into a parking spot, because the cars around you are entirely stationary.
More importantly, backing into a parking spot makes it easier and safer to pull out. After you’ve picked up your sweet potatoes (or whatever it is you needed from Harris Teeter on a Wednesday afternoon) you can jump into your car and pull out of your parking spot with a full range of vision and confident control of your vehicle—both things you need to deal with other cars and pedestrian traffic.
One last thing, because I know the audience I write for: It is way cooler to back into a parking spot than it is to pull in. There’s nothing like the sweet satisfaction of backing into a spot, smooth as silk, and basking in the grudging admiration of your peers. (That’s why we came to law school, right?) Has anyone ever said to a person who pulls into a parking spot, “Wow, good job?” No. But when that person pulls out, everyone in that car will crane their neck back to ensure the car doesn’t get rear-ended: “Wait, hold on, hold on, okay—you can go now.” Which would you rather hear?
Now, in our fair country, I’m all for #freedom of parking. Do whatever you want. But if someone’s going to come for backer-uppers, I think a few words should be said in fairness. My co-writer is a fan of social norms; I’ve got a norm for naysayers to adopt: Back up, let me drive.
Drew Calamaro ‘21
Satire Editor
Go Straight In
I am a fan of social norms. They are the reason why we wear masks, why we hold the door for people, and why we go to the grocery store with the express goal of speaking to no one unless absolutely necessary. These are the things that keep a society together, and ultimately are why nations succeed for hundreds of years. Social norms are the glue that society needs.
It is through this lens that I write against a great evil that has plagued our nation for far too long. This is something that has the potential to bring down our country from within. I am talking, of course, about backing into parking spots. It is the backer-uppers who will ultimately cause our great country to fail. We must not let that happen.
How often have you driven to the grocery store in a hurry, needing to get some sweet potatoes or something during a commercial break? Invariably, you turn into a parking lot aisle and are stopped by what you think is someone pulling out of a spot. But, alas, it is just the opposite—it is a driver attempting to back in. You sit and wait, and wait, and wait, as they pull out, then pull in, then pull out again, and finally, they slowly back in. As you slowly pass them, you glare at them—they should feel the burn of your hatred for having the gall to make you wait to take your own spot like a normal human being.
The truth is, bad drivers back into spots. They’re utterly incapable of pulling out backward without hitting a person, place, thing, or idea. The solution, of course, is to practice backing your car out slowly. But instead, bad drivers make others wait while they back in, their fear palpable to the other drivers around them. Backing into spots not only wastes others’ time—it wastes the drivers’ time as well. Studies have shown that bad drivers have squandered as many as eighteen days of their lives backing into spots.[1]
Not only that, but the purported “it makes pulling out easier” argument defeats the purpose of backing into a spot. Namely, because backing into a spot makes you insufferable as a driver. I don’t think that I have looked at a driver who backs into spots a single time and said to myself, “There is a good, decent driver who is probably not terrible at driving. I’d love to ride in their car.” The opposite, in fact, happens. These are the same people who go slower than the speed of traffic on highways—a legitimate threat to public safety.[2] Now, whether we should take away these people’s driver’s licenses is up in the air—people need cars. However, at the very least, I think people who back into spots should be made to suffer angry glares in the parking lot constantly. We must discourage this scourge of social norms, until no one is left to defend backing into spots. You are the worst.
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cl3eh@virginia.edu
dac6jk@virginia.edu