Barristers United Match Report: Week 1


Jack Brown ‘23
Staff Editor

The Barristers opened up their season on a sweltering Sunday morning against Champions FC with a clinical four to zero win, with the squad making an unmistakable statement that their promotion to the SOCA unrestricted 11v11 league was not a fluke. Despite the other team’s greater experience, gender homogeneity, and matching kits, they were no match for the students of UVA Law, who thrashed them for the entire 90 minutes.

The game began very tensely with Barrister’s captain and dog-owner Stephen “anti-shirt” Wald imploring the team to hold possession and use their team’s greater numbers to tire the opposition out. This strategy worked well, as the Barristers were able to minimize Champion FC’s chances through intense pressing in the midfield, along with a sturdy defense anchored by Ardi “enjoying his 3L retirement” Khalafi and Ray “would die for his dog” Roesler, whose new partnership is already one of the best in Barrister’s history.

Right before halftime, the deadlock was broken thanks to a brilliant assist by Nathan “the Juggernaut” Sheeley, who was able to overpower the defender and slide the ball across the goal to Barrister’s mainstay Sam “sprinted literally all 45 minutes” Mirzai, who is in pursuit of the Barristers all-time goal scoring record in his 3L year. Soon after the goal, the visibly annoyed referee signaled for the start of halftime. Sam then had to leave, but the team was strengthened by the halftime introduction of John “was late because he ran a 5k that morning” Lawrence. After a stirring halftime speech, the team entered the second half with confidence.

Three goals followed in quick succession as the team put a dagger in whatever hope Champions FC had. Scoring on their debuts, Mustapha “almost got kicked in the back of the head trying to win the ball” Yoosuf-Akinlaja and Tyler “former Mark Clattenburg of SOCA soccer” Demetriou both were able to capitalize on amazing buildup play to slide the ball past the keeper. Then to cap off the run, John “yes he seriously drove to Richmond to run a 5k the morning of a soccer game” Lawrence scored an early contender for goal of the season, as he blasted a shot over the keeper from the edge of the 18-yard box. 

Aside from the goal scorers, there were many notable performances from new additions to the squad. 1Ls Keith “turn and shoot!” Stone and Jacob “didn’t turn and shoot” Baltzegar energized the squad with their passion. Zachary “was promised and did not receive a starting spot at CAM” Pierce was a dependable outlet the entire game along with Drew “pacy winger” Flanagan, who terrorized the opposing fullbacks with his youthful runs.

All in all, it was a perfect start to what will be a stellar season for Barrister’s United. If you would ever like to play in the weekend league games, or are interested in playing pickup during the week, please email the author who would be happy to add you to the GroupMe. Also, make sure to tune back in next week to keep up with all of the action as the Barristers continue their journey to the illustrious SOCA Championship.

---

jwb4bb@virginia.edu