Nate Wunderli ‘22
Sports Editor
Without big, Popeye muscles you cannot be a “gym bro.” In this day and age, there are plenty of people that hit the gym regularly. Clearly, just being a regular gym-goer does not make you a “gym bro.” So, is it how often you hit the gym, or for how long you stay that makes you a “gym bro?” Hardly. You can hit the gym all day long, drink raw eggs mixed with creatine and protein powder for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and follow every bodybuilder on Instagram and still not be a “gym bro.” So what makes a “gym bro” a “gym bro?” I’ll start with the obvious: big muscles.
Sure, big muscles alone does not make one a gym bro. That is just one of several indicators of gym broeyness. But being a gym bro is a lot about the vibe someone gives off, and if you do not have big muscles, you simply cannot give off a gym bro vibe. I’ve tried.
Gym bros must also be relatively unathletic. Being a good athlete is an automatic exemption, because it means you are actually using your muscles for another purpose besides just looking good. Gym bros are always after the look. Exactly what that look is depends on the gym bro, but they have one in mind, and it usually involves, you guessed it, excess muscle.
Gym bros also tend to talk about things, like, you guessed it, muscles. One cannot discuss muscles if one does not have muscles. Case in point: SpongeBob Squarepants. SpongeBob tried to be a gym bro before he had muscles, but it wasn’t until he transformed into MuscleBob BuffPants, with the infamous blow-up anchor arms, that Spongebob actually became a gym bro. Was anything else different about SpongeBob besides the massive arms? No. And would anyone dare to argue that MuscleBob BuffPants was not a gym bro? Definitely not.
I rest my case.
Sai Kulkarni
Culture Editor
What makes a gym bro? This is a question that has plagued society for eons. Or perhaps just me for the last week, but just go with the bit, dear readers. Some would say that a gym bro is defined by their physique and the clothes they wear. This is the view taken by some other members of this esteemed paper. But I choose to disagree with society. I like to push boundaries. So here’s my hot, bold take of the week: being a gym bro has more to do with how you talk about your workout habits than your actual looks.
Let’s not be limited, it’s 2022. Even men’s fitness magazines have bulky guys on the cover rather than just well cut guys. How we think about bodies, regardless of gender, has changed over the last few years (for the better). So focusing only on looks is rather reductive, my dear readers. Instead, I find myself perplexed by our societal perceptions of gym bros. Do we not all immediately think of the phrase “gym bro” when people talk about their workout habits?
It’s not about how many protein shakes they drink, it’s about telling you the number and describing the gross ingredients. It’s not about the fact that they go to a gym, it’s about where they go to the gym (looking at you, patrons of The Gym™). And above all else, it’s not about how often they go, it’s about how many times they can mention that they go. Most of us are unlikely to ever really think about how long other people hit a lift session until they tell us.
At the end of the day, thinking about gym bros gives them power. Talking about them gives them power. This article gives them power. But in understanding where that power comes from we can change our perspective. Much like the age old discussion of “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it…,” the new question should be: “if a gym bro brags about his workout and no one hears it, is he still a gym bro?” In reading this article, this blazing hot take, I hope you take the chance to change how you look at your gym bro friends. Give them a listening ear, that's what they want. Or don’t, if that’s the kind of friendship you have. At the very least, I hope this article makes you reconsider who you define as a gym bro.
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