Question:
Hi, I’m 2L, and I have to say, the dating game is rough out here. I’m sure my fellow straight women agree. All men here are either crazy or in relationships. And, it’s such a small school that I feel like I can’t date my guy friends or date guys that my friends have hooked up with. When I finally find someone I connect with and it doesn’t work out, then I can’t escape them because it’s such a small community.
Answer:
I really appreciate you writing in, and I’m sorry you have been having a hard time. This is something I dealt with, so I can relate. You are right, the dating game in law school is rough! So, I recommend giving up.
Law school generally attracts the worst type of men—that is, competitive, cutthroat, image-driven men who are ready to move on to the next thing if it serves their interests. Hence why 3L men like 1L women.
A staggering percentage of men in law school are psychopaths because psychopaths are drawn to positions of power. UVA is one of the best law schools in the country, and its alumni go on to do incredible work. The cost of being surrounded by greatness is that you will probably have to deal with psychopaths.
Law school pedagogy emphasizes cold, objective reasoning, which can promote a lack of empathy. Aside from clinic work, students are typically incentivized to be detached from the humanity of the law.
I should note that this problem with men exists outside of the law school. A high ratio of men at the top of their industries are cold and unfeeling. You will likely interact with attorneys and businesspeople with emotional problems throughout your legal career.
Something should be said here about nuance. Women sometimes criticize men collectively with phrases such as “Men are trash” and “All men suck.” There’s a dangerous permanence to these statements. While it is true that all men suck, that suckiness is contextual. Men are trash at different times and to different people. All I can say is to go out there and try to find a man that either isn’t currently trash or is trash to other people.
Love is a journey, and I hope you find your man! Just don’t do it here. But if you have to date in the law school, try to find a guy who wants to be a professor. Usually they’re kind.