Counsel’s Counsel is the world’s preeminent advice column for law students. Written by recent UVA Law graduate, Jane Doe, J.D.
Question:
Hi Jane! Last week, I told my friend (let’s call him Joker) about a short course that I was interested in. I told Joker there were only two open seats left. I asked him if I should take it, and he said it sounded exciting. The next day, I went to sign up, but the class was full. Turns out, Joker and a mutual friend (let’s call him Batman) took the last two seats!
I don’t fault Batman, because I didn’t tell him about my interest in the class. Besides, when Batman found out what had happened, he dropped the class so that I could take it. I’m confused by Batman because he insisted I take the class, even though he didn’t cause the situation. I felt bad and tried convincing him to stay, explaining that we could get Joker to drop it. Batman said it wasn’t worth it.
I’m irritated with Joker. Why would someone who represented himself as my friend do this? I’m surprised this happened at UVA. This feels like a Columbia story.
What’s more, now I’m in the same working group as Joker. We have to do two class presentations together. I kind of expect an apology from him. I feel like working together will be awkward if he doesn’t. At the same time, I don’t want to ask for an apology. What should I do? - Mildly Miffed
Answer:
Dear Mildly Miffed, wow, that is annoying. While Joker’s move is certifiably uncool, you really set yourself up for that one. You told Joker about an opportunity, and he took it. Your letter reads like a Contracts fact pattern.
It seems you believed claims that UVA Law is comparatively more friendly than other top schools. First of all, praising UVA’s social dynamics is unverifiable puffery. It was unreasonable for you to rely on it. Everybody knows the collegiality thing has its limits. For example, UVA Law’s characteristic “collegiality” is no match for theoretically low-stakes sports competitions.
Second, to the extent that UVA Law actually is friendlier than other schools, law students are still self-interested. In business deals, everyone wants to work together—until it becomes advantageous to screw over your business partners. Professors might call this efficient breach. Here, Joker purported to be your friend until it conflicted with his interests. There was no actual agreement, so Joker technically owes you nothing.
Yet, Joker’s conduct was an intentional affront to your academic enjoyment and, implicitly, your social standing in the Law School. Batman dropped the class rather than convincing Joker to drop it because he views Joker as the alpha, not you. As far as Joker is concerned, he is on top.
In law, your reputation is everything. And you should be your biggest advocate. Don’t let Joker walk all over you. People in the legal profession respond to strength. You should retaliate.
You said you expect an apology from Joker. Are you insane? Your colleagues are argumentative, prideful, and entitled competitors who, for the most part, will devote their lives to advancing the interests of those already in power. Don’t get apologies; get even.
You must ensure that Joker stays in the class. It’s a great place to play mind games. Sit behind him in class to make him feel watched. He knows what he did, and he knows that you know. Let him sit in it. Whenever you see him, greet him in a way that you don’t greet anyone. A cold, expressionless “Howdy” would get the job done.
Besides that, dominate him in class, but do it subtly. Don’t view the presentations you have to do together as sources of discomfort, but rather as opportunities for vengeance.
Become a master on Joker’s share of the presentations. I recognize that your time is limited, so you may need to neglect your other responsibilities to do this. Whenever Joker speaks, add nuances he doesn’t expect. Reading your professor’s publications will help with this. Use sentences that start with phrases like “To clarify what Joker is getting at” to undermine him implicitly.
These tactics should operate at a subconscious level. If they’re executed correctly, you will leave Joker impressed with your intellect. Your professor and peers will view you as the alpha. The goal is to make Joker regret ever thinking that he could disrespect you and get away with it. Best of luck with your studies! - Jane
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