Counsel’s Counsel is the world’s preeminent advice column for law students. Written by recent UVA Law graduate, Jane Doe, J.D.”
Question:
Dear Jane,
I’m interested in asking this guy out, but I’m almost positive he is in FedSoc. Any advice on dating across political lines at the law school?
Answer:
Dear Fellow Thirsty Charlottesvillian,
The answer to your question lies in your intention. Are you already fantasizing about eating lunch together in ScoCo and the power you’ll wield in a lawyer-lawyer marriage? Or do you merely intend him to be a short-term roster addition? Which of the diverging roads of romantic intentions you choose to travel has great consequences for your political dilemma. But before that, a word to the wise: You can’t change him. No man who has suckled the teat of the FedSoc budget (Chick-Fil-A catering offerings) will be switching gears for ACS’s baby formula (probably Roots bowls aka soggy rabbit feed).
Any long-term aspirations you may have with this (hopefully hunky) man rest in some harsh realities, unless you live in a blissfully ignorant, I-don’t-watch-the-news-I-only-watch-Love-Is-Blind bubble. If you aren’t fearing for your rights or flinching at news alerts about Executive Orders, then stop here—collect your $200 and pass Go (does anybody play Monopoly anymore? Oligopoly, perhaps?). However, given the nature of the question, it seems like you fall into the second, painfully aware category. And to that, I remind you that you’re in law school for a reason. Don’t waste an unreasonably expensive education to be trapped into a tradwife (or tradhusband) existence, unless of course that was your goal all along, in which case, more power to you.
Now if you just want a little something something after a long week of casebook readings, ChatGPT-ing cover letters, and faking smiles to peers in the hall you’ve met once and now feel obliged to acknowledge, then the answer is strongly in the affirmative. Political lines are not the kind of lines drawn in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately in today’s society, the art of Southern charm and old-school chivalry is passed down through conservative familial lines. The FedSoc boys know just how far those forgotten arts can go in a town where the other men you’re swiping on will go splitskis with you on an Iced Matcha and call that a date. The last thing you want after a fun night is having to unpack your liberal boy-toy’s mommy issues in the morning, or worse yet, hearing him weaponize the new phrase he learned in therapy at you when you ask him to pay for your drink at the bar. The pool of law school men is cram-full of some of the most self-centered, egotistical, entitled, next-generation leaders in the world. Where he decides to get his free weekly meal shouldn’t stop you from having a fun time.
A few more words of advice to prepare yourself (in case we convinced you): Charlottesville is seemingly the smallest town in the world. Have your excuses as to why you were spotted shuffling out of his Pav apartment rehearsed, and be mentally prepared for the acrobatics you will have to perform explaining your decisions to your questioning peers. With Punxatawny Phil predicting six more weeks of winter, let's just say there's more than one way to stay warm. Happy hunting!
– Jane Doe, J.D.
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