Student Groups Debut New Mission Statements


Deans Goluboff and Davies have recently announced that, after some discussion with the executive boards of some UVA Law groups,that many will change their mission statement effective immediately. A selection are presented here.

Lone Star Lawyers is now dedicated to only catering to (and eating at/reviewing) establishments with single star reviews on Yelp, Google, et cetera. They also are only allowed to leave one star reviews.

Heartland Hoos  is taking a new look at problems facing the heart and land and will be focusing on the intersection between cardiovascular health and environmental and land-use rights. (Rumors have it Professor Schragger will be supervising). They wanted to clarify that their work will be related solely to land; nautical issues and riparian rights will not be tolerated or considered, and air is not their problem. 

Asian Pacific American Law Students Association is partnering with Carter Mountain Orchards, as well as others in the region, to host an annual “APALSAuce” contest in the spring and “APALSAider” in the fall.

First Generation Professionals is renaming itself to “first generation at UVA Law” professionals, because there aren’t enough first generation professionals at UVA and they want more members for funding.

NGSL has currently entered a lockout with its players, and the season will be postponed until an agreement is reached. 

National Lawyers Guild, after watching Dune, has decided to shroud themselves in secrecy, like another famous Guild, and are now hoarding all forms of spices for some undetermined aim—we hope it’s delicious! 

Law Republicans and Law Democrats did not provide any information as to their new plans, but assured us that whatever it was, the other group did it first or was at fault. And ACS and the Federalist Society refused to attend, since they thought the other would show up. On a related note, Common Law Grounds has given up on its initial mission and is now a coffee-lovers group.

First Year Council could not be reached, as all representatives insisted they “felt like 2Ls now” and had no comment on the future of the organization.