Nikolai Morse '24
Editor-in-Chief
While most editions of the Virginia Law Weekly are full of hard-hitting, thoroughly researched pieces on the most pressing issues of the day,[1] this edition departs from our usually staid and restrained posture.[2] In honor of April Fools’ Day, the articles in this week’s edition are entirely satirical and have absolutely no basis in fact. I mention this for two reasons.
First, while the Law Weekly has a storied tradition of roasting 1Ls, every single member of the Law School administration, gunners, FedSoc, Darden, Student Affairs, 1Ls, Phil Tonseth ‘22, 1Ls, Dean Jason Dugas ’01, and 1Ls, it is only because we care. We can all think of times when our friends have pointed out our peccadilloes and made fun of us for taking ourselves too seriously, and we understood them to be an expressing friendship and affection for us. So, if you are fortunate enough to find your name in the gossamer pages of the Law Weekly April Fools’ edition: congratulations. We roast you because we love you.
Second, according to legend, the Law Weekly has been sued for defamation in the past, and we really don’t want to deal with it again. While someone suing us would surely result in a hilarious judicial shellacking for our opponent, it would also be a huge waste of time for us. So, let me be crystal clear: every single article in this edition is satire, designed solely for the enjoyment of the UVA Law School community, and bearing only the most tenuous connection to reality, let alone any kind of judicially cognizable basis in fact. But more importantly, to the extent that anyone feels injured and still thinks it might be a good idea to come for the Law Weekly, I strongly encourage you to remember what the venerable legal scholar Charles Barkley once said: “My initial response was to sue for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.”[3]
In closing, I hope that you, dear reader, enjoy this edition as much as we have enjoyed putting it together. Publishing the Law Weekly is a labor of love. Today, we hope you will share the joy and affection we feel for the Law Weekly—and more importantly, for this weird, wonderful Law School that we are all part of. Happy (belated) April Fools’ Day.
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cpg9jy@virginia.edu