Jacob Smith ‘23
Professor Liason Editor Emeritus
If you are like most students at this Law School, you will be rich. Unless you are unfortunate enough to have a spouse or family, you will start out in the ninety-fifth percentile of income. Congratulations! Of course, the pay raise won’t change you. Just like someone winning the lottery, you’ll be the same caring, selfless person you are right now—just with more money. Since your wealth will definitely not come with expensive, pointless tastes, like eating live animals or spreading raw meat on toast, you will have plenty to give away. And you should consider giving lots of it, every year, to the University of Virginia Law School Foundation. The Foundation is the best use of your surplus for three reasons: tradition, meritocracy, and immortality.
First, tradition. Did you know that a greater percentage of our alumni give back than is true of any other law school? It’s not because our law school is the most prestigious or has the best professors. It’s not because of our school’s incredibly low tuition. It’s certainly not because we get free parking. The reason is that UVA Law students are special. We have a tradition. And, as Edmund Burke once said, never stop a tradition until you’ve figured out why it’s there.
Second, meritocracy. You might be tempted to give your money to some organization that helps the poor. But think about it: If you support refugees, or disaster victims, or the indigent generally, you know nothing about the quality of the people you’re helping. You work hard for your money. You are rich because you’re smarter and better than everyone else. Do you really want to help the undeserving? Ukraine wasn’t invaded because of its IQ. Earthquakes go after high buildings, not high GPAs. And it’s a well-known fact that the poor don’t have their priorities in order, with many of them valuing things like happiness or friends above their jobs. In contrast, the Foundation funnels your money to a high-octane pool of smart, hardworking law students like yourself.
Third, immortality. We donate because we want to make a difference, or to put it another way, to achieve a kind of immortality by forever altering the cosmos. Well, donating to the Foundation is a great way to do that. If you give to the Foundation’s $500 million endowment, the money will sit there, forever, creating a permanent record of your generosity. Only in the direst of circumstances, like a total collapse of the world’s financial infrastructure, will the Foundation resort to actually spending your money. Sure, famine relief could save a few lives, but in a few centuries, no one will be able to trace that shift in the world’s population back to you. Your endowed gift, however, will still be in the Foundation’s coffers, an everlasting testament to your goodness and wealth.
To serve the deserving, to conform to the norm, and to alter the future—you should give to the Foundation. After all, what could be more important to our nation than training more lawyers? If you are interested in other meritorious causes, I suggest checking out the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Mosquitos, the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine, and campaign finance.
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js3hp@virginia.edu