Julia D'Rozario ’24
New Media Editor
Welcome back to the Law School Astrology series. Last time, you found out which niche area of the Law School you were, based on your zodiac sign.[1] If you’re wondering why it’s taken me a full year to write Part Two, it’s because I was mobbed by angry Sagittarians after Part One, and it’s taken me this long to build the courage to write again. With that said, keep reading for another woefully uninformed and deeply biased take: Which Law School event are you, based on your zodiac sign?
Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
Feb Club
Geminis are the party animals of the Zodiac, and Feb Club is the biggest (well, longest) party on the Law School calendar. Like Feb Club, you love to socialize, plan events, and are incredibly fun to be around. Also like Feb Club, you’re a mild drain on unsuspecting introverts in your radius.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Dandelion
Dandelion is a 1L rite of passage. Against your natural inhibitions (and lack of dance skills), you join with your new sectionmates in choreographing and performing a dance in front of what seems like a million strangers. Yes, it’s awkward at first, but you do it in the pursuit of bonding, and you get closer to your section in the process. Cancer, your amiability is your greatest strength. Like Dandelion, your warmth and friendliness mean that you tend to be the first to break the ice, put people at ease, and make friends. And people love you for it!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Bar Review
I’ve written before about Leos being hit-or-miss. Half the Leos I know are warm, funny, outgoing, wonderful people. The other half are basically the evil butler in The Aristocats who poisoned the milk and tried to send the kittens to Timbuktu—which is to say, villainous. There’s no in between. Bar Review is similarly hit-or-miss. It’s either a lovely time with friends or the type of night out that leaves you weary, fatigued, and full of regret for the rest of the weekend. Again, no in between.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
OGI
I recognize your innate goodness, your personal drive and meticulous organization, and I know that your positive qualities are likely to improve my life in the long run, just as OGI did. Having said that, both an alarming number of Virgos and an alarming number of OGI screeners have made me cry. And I’m still emotionally scarred years later.[2]
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Foxfield
At every elementary school, there was inevitably a kid who had a crush on Spirit the horse. Think back to your elementary school years, and remember that individual. Now pull up their Facebook page. They’re a Libra, aren’t they?
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Graduation
The reason we’re all here. Fulfilling. Incredible. Radiant. Joyful. Entirely unbiased.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Journal Tryouts
At the risk of being mobbed again, I am doubling down. Like you all, journal tryouts are harrowing. Unacceptable. Taxing. Unnecessarily intense. Downright spooky. No further comments at this time.[3]
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
The Library Reception
The Library Reception is so underrated. Live music, snacks, and wine in the library? Yes please! My only gripe is that I didn’t even know this event existed until this year. Capricorn, like the bi-annual Library Reception, you’re a hidden gem. Capricorns get a bad rap for being “boring,” but I don’t think you’re boring at all. You’re just low-key—once people get to know you, they see how great you are.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The Libel Show
I’ve never known an Aquarius who wasn’t incredible, witty, creative, and hilarious. And sort of weird. But in a good way. Like the Libel Show, you’re eccentric and fun to be around. And, to repeat, sort of weird. In a good way.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Barrister’s Ball
Pisceans are known for being the most sentimental of the zodiac. Your friend who gets misty-eyed after one drink and starts telling you that they will find you and befriend you and hang out with you in every lifetime? A Pisces. Well, Barrister’s Ball brings out the Pisces in us all. As the one event of the year that almost everyone attends, it’s one of the few events that overcomes the difficulty of our busy law schedules, putting you and all of your friends in the same room at the same time. It’s kind of beautiful if you think about it. Kind of makes you misty-eyed. Kind of makes you want to find your friends and love them and hang out with them in every lifetime…
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
3@3 Fall
I’m going to be so honest: Your energy is vibrant—unmatched, even—but it’s too much for me in December. Your unbridled zest for life, like the palpable post-exam joy that fills every corner of Rapture after Fall finals, exacerbates my seasonal depression.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
3@3 Spring
Spring 3@3 is the laid-back, wholesome counterpart to the ungovernable mass hysteria that is Fall 3@3. The sun is out, the weather is beautiful, and there is a sense of peace in the air. Taurus, like Spring 3@3, you are the very essence of harmony and comfort.
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jkd2dd@virginia.edu
[1] D’Rozario, Julia, “Which Niche Area of the Law School Are You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign,” https://www.lawweekly.org/col/2022/9/21/which-niche-area-of-the-law-school-are-you-based-on-your-zodiac-sign.
[2] See id. (outlining my history of romantic anguish vis-à-vis Virgos).
[3]Disclaimer: If you read my last Astrology article you’ll know that I have one singular Sagittarius mortal enemy. I actually love every other Sagittarius I know. But the Law Weekly lets me publish my astrology opinions even when they’re unreasonable.