Garrett Coleman '25
Executive Editor
This story first came to the Law Weekly newsroom from the solicitations of Seth Coven ’25. Upon further investigation, we learned that a massive game of survivor, organized by Kevin Hoang ’25, has been taking place on and around Grounds since the beginning of the semester. Friendships have been tested, professional relationships have imploded, and dozens of 3Ls have been incapacitated for weeks. Coven came out on top and thought that his Machiavellian successes merited some free publicity in this paper. We agreed.
The format of the game, which Hoang has organized before, is closely modeled after the Survivor television show. To start out, twenty-one players were divided into three tribes of seven. There were four “playing days” a week over the course of four weeks. Whichever tribe lost a particular challenge had to vote someone out the next day. As the competition went on, the number of tribes fell to two, then one, and then a set of three finalists. The remaining members of the final tribe formed a jury to determine who should be named Sole Survivor and bring home the $630 prize. Hoang, Claudia Daboin, and Ethan Nicklow hosted.
Hoang’s favorite challenge was for the final nine contestants, called “Planning the Coven Gala.” It took place on the lawn in front of the Law School as rain poured down on everyone. Players had to solve a logic games style puzzle while running back and forth to get clues on the other side of the lawn. Hoang loved the chance to have an in-person challenge, but also the high stakes for that night. It came hot off the heels of a major vote, in which Coven did away with Sam Quinan ’25. And the pressure was on for Nick Hoffman ’25, who was likely the next target in the tribal council. Hoffman was able to come out on top, securing his much-needed immunity. When asked about his defeat, Quinan had this to say: “Emma [Howard ’25] and I were running the game. And then we trusted Seth, which was the mistake. But in the end, the Emma and the boys alliance won.” He added, “Tiger was uneventful. He and Hoffman were pawns.”
Some expressed concern with Hoang’s leadership. One contestant to make the final tribe, John “Tiger” Oliva ’25, had this to say: “Kevin is a sycophant who feeds on the torture of law students. I could not recommend playing it [survivor] less. The social and reputational damage done to some law students may never be recovered and may bleed into their careers.” Mackenzie Kubik ’25 voiced similar concerns about “this hellish psychosocial experiment.” But even Oliva could not avoid reminiscing fondly over some challenges, such as the time they had to design rave costumes for a fictional Midwestern girl who loved her prize rooster, Civil War reenactments, and the House of Ravenclaw.
The final three came down to Coven, Kubik, and Cameron Beach ’25. While hosts were not able to vote, Hoang thought that Kubik narrowly deserved the win, but that all of them were worthy finalists. Of his win, Coven said: “Law school is tough. It’s full of challenges, but I can say without a doubt that this was the biggest accomplishment in my three years at law school. It’s always been a dream of mine to be on real-life Survivor (I have an audition tape saved in my iMovie right now), but this was truly as close as it gets to the real thing. The blood, sweat, and tears that went into this were all worth it. It was tough because, in order for me to win the game, I ultimately had to backstab some of my best friends in law school. But that’s Survivor, baby.”
Hoffman was the deciding vote to name Coven the Sole Survivor. In explaining his choice to the Law Weekly, he said: “I chose Seth because he flew under the radar very well and controlled the game much better than I realized . . . and he played the middle very nicely, neutralizing my entire alliance. I was impressed.” But the game also offered him some happy memories. In one challenge, participants had to compete in “Survivor’s Got Talent” by submitting two-minute videos showcasing their special abilities. Hoffman used his video to break the world record in nostril flares in a single minute, hitting 205. Yes, he flared his nostrils almost three and a half times per second. Stunning. Unfortunately, this only put him in second place, behind a competitor who recorded him/herself drinking a great many shots and shouting expletives at Hoang in different languages. The polyglots that walk our halls are inspiring.
Hoang is organizing the competition again for next semester, and casting is still out for that one. So, any Survivor fans should reach out to him before the start of next semester.
---
jxu6ad@virgina.edu