A Bear Gives Injustice a Hard Stare: Review of Paddington 2

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Anna Bninski ‘23
Staff Editor

Among the DVDs gracing the shelves of the Arthur J. Morris Law Library is the 2017 film Paddington 2. Seeking some start-of-semester tranquility and anticipating marmalade-related escapades, I checked it out, little reckoning that a PG children’s-movie sequel would not only rend my heartstrings but also critique miscarriages of justice in the UK’s penal system.

(For those unlucky enough to never have encountered Paddington, here’s a run-down: He is a small, self-possessed Peruvian bear who first appeared in a 1958 novel by Michael Bond. Having stowed aboard a ship and subsisted on marmalade for the voyage, he arrived in London and was adopted by the Brown family, whose neighbors mostly take in stride the arrival of a talking bear. Hijinks precipitated by Paddington’s literalism, limited knowledge, strong moral sense, and extreme interest in marmalade ensue. Does that sound twee? It is. But it’s also wonderfully written, warmhearted, and very funny.)

Since Paddington was firmly ensconced with the Brown family at the end of Paddington, released in 2014, one could be forgiven for expecting that with any immigration issues resolved, the young bear would not be facing legal troubles in the sequel. Alas for Paddington, that is not the case.

Pictured: The most educational resource available in the Arthur J. Morris Law Library. Photo Courtesy of Anna Bninski '23.

The film opens with Paddington (ably voiced by Ben Whishaw) trying to find the best possible present for the 100th birthday of his Aunt Lucy, who lives in the Home for Retired Bears in Lima. However, things quickly go south when Paddington, attempting to interrupt an incident of breaking and entering, is mistaken for the thief of a valuable pop-up book.

Paddington is convicted, largely on the testimony of a washed-up actor named Phoenix Buchanan (played by Hugh Grant, who seems to be having the time of his life chewing through scenery). While the viewer may be certain that Buchanan’s testimony is suspect, a more pressing legal problem overshadows the progress of justice in Paddington’s case.

Those familiar with 28 U.S. Code Section 455(a) will recall that (a) “Any justice, judge, or magistrate judge of the United States shall disqualify himself in any proceeding in which his impartiality might reasonably be questioned.”

While, of course, United States federal law is not applicable, rest assured that the UK operates with a corresponding principle of judicial recusal: “A judge must step down in circumstances where there appears to be bias, or, as it is put, ‘apparent bias’. Judicial recusal is not then a matter of discretion . . . The test for determining apparent bias is now established to be this: If a fair-minded and informed observer, having considered the facts, would conclude that there was a real possibility that the judge was biased, the judge must recuse himself: see Porter v Magill [2002] 2 AC 357 at [102].” Mengiste and another v Endowment Fund for the Rehabilitation of Tigray and others, [2013] EWCA Civ 1003; [2013] WLR (D) 337.

The judge presiding over Regina v. Paddington Brown had, some short time prior to the case, encountered Paddington at the bear’s place of (brief) employment: a barber’s shop. A series of ursine mishaps led to the judge leaving with a bizarre marmalade-smeared tonsure. This surely qualifies as an “involvement with one of the parties in the past,” which Lady Justice Ardern, in the opinion cited above, identified as one of the circumstances that can require judicial recusal. The opinion also placed considerable stress on optics: “Courts need to be vigilant not only that the judiciary remains independent but also that it is seen to be independent of any influence that might reasonably be perceived as compromising its ability to judge cases fairly and impartially.” (Emphasis added.)

Regina v. Paddington Brown, by this standard, fails as an exercise of judicial power. Not only was I, as a viewer, aghast at the apparent judicial bias, but the ten-year sentence imposed on Paddington shocks the conscience. It is also unclear why Paddington, who is a young bear, was tried as an adult; although the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is ten, anyone under eighteen should be tried in youth court, and even offenders age eighteen to twenty-give are imprisoned in age-specific detention, not “a full adult prison.” Age of Criminal Responsibility,  https://www.gov.uk/age-of-criminal-responsibility, retrieved February 3, 2021.

Because this is a family film, Paddington’s time of imprisonment is comparatively brief and includes a pastiche of the Great British Baking Show. But despite that levity, the film also explores how incarceration severs the social ties, leaving inmates feeling forgotten by their loved ones and understandably jaded about the inefficacy of the criminal justice system. No matter how much Paddington’s perseverance and will to see the best in others improve conditions in the prison, the fact remains: He’s a young creature unjustly removed from everyone he knows and loves, whose fictional plight can and should provoke thought about how people, not just bears, are treated by our institutions.

Opining that Paddington 2 is good is not a hot take (I see you, record-breaking 100% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes). But if your semester needs a heartwarming interlude with just enough legal intrigue to be written off as highly relevant research in common law systems, this movie is for you.

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amb6ag@virginia.edu

Feeling Judgey: Which Bread Rises to the Top?

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Phil Tonseth ‘22
Production Editor

When I originally agreed to write this article, I planned to shell my way through all of the reasons why turtles are underappreciated and make wonderful pets. Then, I played Stan Birch ’22 in Mario Kart and was hit with too many shells to be willing to subject myself to further torture of talking about turtles again.[1] Therefore, let’s talk about something everyone loves, carbs. Since nobody has really gone out to eat in over a year now, I believe it’s my civic duty to remind the masses which chain restaurants have the best bread that you can hopefully partake in soon.

10) Cheddar Bay Biscuits – Red Lobster

Personally, I’m not a fan of Red Lobster. It seems like an upscale version of Long John Silvers, except you eat at a table instead of in your car. Nonetheless, apparently their cheddar biscuits are delicious, to the point that they serve over one million a day. They’ve honestly only made this list because Will Mcdermott ’22 believes they’re better than both Outback and Olive Garden bread, and I had to publicly shame him for such a horrible take. On a positive note, their recipe is easily accessible so you can still enjoy them while being COVID compliant at home.

9) McDonald’s Hamburger Buns

This is a risky play here. Most people either love or hate McDonald’s, and those who love it usually only eat their fries. Their buns, while average, are highly versatile—ranging from holding hamburgers and chicken patties to fake fish thingies. Their sign shows they’ve served over ninety-nine billion sandwiches, which seems like the type of math I’d use to calculate damages in torts. I’d give this bun a solid, yet underwhelming grade.

8) Subway Bread

Welcome to the “great culinary-philosophical dilemmas of our time,” a.k.a. whether the bread used at Subway meets the standard for bread under Irish law. Spoiler alert, there’s too much sugar content per weight of flour in it, meaning per Ireland law, Subway sandwiches are served as confectionaries.[2] I’d argue the only sweet thing about Subway’s bread is that I can get a five-dollar foot-long, hence the volume per price ratio is the only reason it lands this high on my ranking.

7) Cheesecake Factory Bread x2

Coming in hot with two options, Cheesecake Factory is the surprise addition to this list. I’m not sure if anyone at the Law School has been to the Cheesecake Factory since middle school, but if so, it’s probably because their bread is far superior to their actual cake. Serving both white and brown bread and packing the leftover bread to go for you is a clutch idea.

6) Carrabba’s Bread and Oil

Sliced Italian bread truly isn’t anything to write home about, but the addictive herb-seasoned olive oil dip is what propels this bread up the charts. Although I never found Carrabba’s to be “fine dining” when I was growing up, like Leah Deskins ’21, the overall aura of their bread appetizer is quite fancy amongst their peers.

5) Zaxby’s Texas Toast/Panera Bread

For both of these places, they offer sides of bread despite the fact bread could be the vast majority of the meal you are ordering the side for (i.e. soup in a bread bowl, sandwich) . . . I’m not sure how to adequately judge their bread, but since both of these breads ‘slap,’ they deserve their elevated position.

4) Cracker Barrel Biscuits and Corn Muffins

Con: You have to request your assorted bread basket. Pro: Serving both biscuits and corn muffins, these delectable treats can be loaded with jam, honey, or butter and enjoyed while casually sitting back on one of their signature rocking chairs. If this isn’t the type of life you long for, I feel sorry for you.

3) Outback Honeywheat Bushman Bread

Sweet and savory. Soft yet crispy. A whole loaf of bread served while impaled with a knife on a chic cutting board. Having to compete with the Bloomin’ Onion devalues it to the general public, but this bread is nothing to sleep on. My biggest complaint is that they don’t give you enough, a.k.a. endless bread a la Olive Garden.

2) Texas Roadhouse Rolls

If I die of a heart attack by forty, it will solely be due to my overconsumption of these rolls and the associated honey butter. Do I really go to Texas Roadhouse for anything other than the bread? Absolutely not. Do I ask my waiter there to refill my roll basket literally anytime I see a waiter walk by? Absolutely yes. Will I serve these rolls as an appetizer at my wedding? You bet.[3]

Pictured: The most generous family you could ever have. I mean, who else offers endless salad and breadsticks? Photo Courtesy of en.wikipedia.irg

1) Olive Garden Breadsticks

Michael Berdan ’22 summed these breadsticks up perfectly, asking, “Are their breadsticks really great, or are you just intoxicated by their unlimited abundance, and the quaint Italian neighborhood restaurant atmosphere?” I’d argue all three, because when you're there, you’re family. I love you Olive Garden, please come to C’ville <3.

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pjt5hm@virginia.edu

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[1] Mainly red and green shells, but of course the one time I was leading, Stan hit me with the dreaded blue shell of death.

[2] https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/oct/01/irish-court-rules-subway-bread-is-not-bread

[3] If for some reason, whatever woman that unwittingly decides to marry me reads this, you’re welcome. Everyone will love our wedding solely because of this.

A Skeptic's Review of Bridgerton

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Will Holt ‘23
Staff Editor

Bridgerton. This word has haunted me since I accepted this assignment early last week. At first, it brought a sense of unease, as I was unsure of how to fit eight hour-long episodes into a week already consumed by classes, readings, interviews, and other obligations. However, upon commencing my viewing, the word’s utterance would usher in a feeling akin to nausea, for I have not seen a greater bastardization of a beloved film or television setting since I saw J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Bridgerton not only adopts a nearly criminal degree of creative license when it comes to its interpretation of Regency England, it plasters a predictable plot, one-dimensional characters, and obtuse storytelling on top of it. Suffice to say, I was appalled.

            For the benefit of readers who are unfamiliar with the show, permit me to provide a brief introduction. Based on Julia Quinn’s best-selling series of the same name, Bridgerton focuses on the lives of London debutants during the 1813 social season. It explores the scandalous dealings and unbearable social pressures that existed beneath Regency London’s plush and grand exterior. Preying upon the affinity for impropriety and unbridled anglophilia of unwitting Americans, Netflix and producer Shonda Rhimes, the creative force behind such shows as Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder, set themselves up well for a bombshell hit. When released on Christmas Day 2020, Bridgerton skyrocketed up the charts and, with a viewership of eighty-two million households, ultimately claimed the title of Netflix’s most watched show. Even I cannot fail to be impressed by the enormous success this production has found in such a short period of time. Such success makes it all the more important that you, the consumer, receives an honest and unbiased critique. I will do my best.

            As a student of history, perhaps the most jarring part of watching Bridgerton for me was the treatment of its historical setting. I am not speaking about the failure to remove roadway lines and other editing gaffs, nor the decision to feature a racially-diverse cast. My primary grievance is the creative team’s apparent failure to conduct even the most basic historical research. Errors range from the modest, such as characters smoking factory-rolled cigarettes in a time when even hand-rolled cigarettes were considered novelties, to the egregious, such as the male lead’s consistent failure to wear situationally appropriate clothing. You may deem these errors to be trifling or irrelevant, and, if they were isolated, you’d be right. However, the mistakes abound in such numbers as to make it nearly impossible to enjoy what little entertainment value the story has to offer. What makes it worse is that the creators seem to have embraced such shocks. In fact, the show at times goes out of its way to abandon historicity and instead attempts to exude some bizarre aura of modernity. The first example that comes to mind is when the musicians at the evening balls play modern music by the likes of Ariana Grande and Shawn Mendes on their violins and cellos. I am not a great fan of either of these artists at the best of times, but I cannot describe the inclusion of their music in a Regency period piece as anything other than vulgar. Yet, as tasteless as this creative decision was, neither it nor the previously mentioned errors render the show totally irredeemable. Yes, they come off as tacky and cheap, but good storytelling could have salvaged the situation. Unfortunately, the show had little to offer in this realm either. 

            I will not dive into the plot because I respect the desire of many readers to avoid spoilers, but, suffice it to say, I found the narrative to be quite predictable, albeit with the occasional humorous twist (I found the conclusion of the “Lady Whistledown” storyline to be worth a chuckle). However, I will dig into its characters and storytelling. The former range from acceptable to tiresome; I found some of the secondary characters to have redeeming qualities. The sweetness of Penelope and Colin make the rest of their fictional world a little less detestable, and the Queen can claim some entertaining moments. Unfortunately, most of Bridgerton’s stars leave little in the way of positive impressions. Anthony is the pinnacle of incompetence, his mother is a bore, and whoever plays Eloise—I couldn’t be bothered to look up her name— appears as if she is expecting a laugh track after each of her lines. Most tragically, the two leads prove to be walking tropes. Simon Basset is the deep and unobtainable rake with a dark past but a heart of gold, while Daphne Bridgerton lives her naive and innocent life until grown up problems force her to grow a backbone and defy expectations. In other words, we’ve seen them a million times, in a million places.

            Now, I must be fair. A conventional character can be extraordinary when a creator presents their narrative in a sophisticated way. Unfortunately, the storytelling in Bridgerton does nothing to help its protagonists as its character-building is blunt and obnoxious. For instance, when the show wants to make Basset seem tough and masculine, it throws in a bare-knuckle boxing scene (which conveniently leaves him totally unbruised and unbloodied). If Daphne needs to appear pure and flawless, it literally has the Queen declare it before all of her court. There exists no subtlety, no grace. And those are the exact qualities that should be abundant in a production set during the Regency. Ultimately, Bridgerton’s greatest flaw is there exists a rift between its goals and how it tries to achieve them. It leverages popular affinity for English history, yet it deliberately undermines its accuracy. It tries to channel the charm and nostalgia of Jane Austen, but applies none of her sophistication. It tries to make a statement, but it can’t decide on what to say. The end result is a confusing, disjointed production that can’t seem to achieve anything. And so, I am perplexed by its popularity. I can understand why people watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette. They are trashy, and embrace it. Bridgerton doesn’t. Why? I haven’t a clue. 

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wjh4ew@virginia.edu

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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Nate Wunderli ‘22
Sports Editor

My relationship with video games has hardly been harmonious. My mother, a.k.a “Mama Deb,” was a victim of the 1984 hit game Tetris. She said she played for hours on end for weeks, sometimes sacrificing sleep and definitely sacrificing productivity and a balanced existence. How much of this is true I do not know for sure, but as a result I was rarely given video games as a kid. It wasn’t that I was given time restrictions or got punished when I played too much, it was literally the absence of video games in my house made it impossible to play. When we did get a game it was borderline exercise, something like Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero, or Wii Sports. These games are fun at first, but rarely do you hear of someone putting in forty-hour weeks on DDR.

            As a result, I was never very good at video games. Sometimes I would go to a friend’s house to play a first-person shooter like Call of Duty, only to find myself running in circles and being shot from behind so frequently I gave up trying, resorting to sabotaging my own teammates or hiding in some room somewhere on the map where no one could find me. I was further reminded of my lack of video game prowess my first year at UVA Law, when my roommate Dave Goldstein ’21 would pick his worst character, use only one of that character’s moves, and still beat me handily in Super Smash Bros Brawl. He once let me play online, where I proceeded to drop his character’s rank down to the fifth percentile as eight-year-old kids in their mom’s basement clowned on me mercilessly. 

            Over winter break, however, my Tetris moment had finally arrived. The game is the classic story mode Legend of Zelda. My brother-in-law brought it over with his Nintendo Switch and started me my very own account. I was intrigued. The game starts off with a half-naked, pointy-eared, blonde skinny guy named Link waking up from a 100-year long slumber. Turns out, this is me, the princess’s appointed knight. Well, at least I was, 100 years earlier before Calamity Ganon took over the kingdom and captured the princess. I found out this information later on. At this point, I was content to simply find a worn shirt inside a treasure chest as I make my way through a maze of clues and hints to find myself, at last, in the open world.

            At this point, I am still learning the controls and have no weapons. There are no instructions of what to do or where to go, and the map—at this point only a small portion of which is unlocked—is impossibly huge. Turns out, it is possible to skip all the main quests and side missions, make your way directly to the castle, defeat all the big, bad evil dudes, and save the princess right then and there. The record holder defeated the game in thirty-five minutes, which is documented on YouTube from start to finish. Of course, it would be ill-advised for me to do this. After picking up a couple tree branches as weapons, I proceeded to fight my first monster, a small, pig-like creature, and got my butt kicked. Slowly, I learned the controls and started to defeat some minor foes, taking their weapons in the process. I began to talk to people, did side missions, hunted-and-gathered food, and explored.

            Fast forward to today. I spent countless hours over winter break on this game. It’s like a good book that you can’t put down, only it never ends. There are nearly an unlimited number of missions and side quests, places to explore, and things to collect. The map is varied and diverse, with dozens of towns scattered amongst vast swaths of uninhabited land. The land ranges from desert to thick forests, from grassy plains to volcanoes and high mountains. In order to unlock the map I climbed towers, which are often surrounded by monsters, faced evil guardians and their laser beams, and overcame other obstacles. I built my defenses by finding shrines scattered across the map and solved (and sometimes agonized over) the puzzles within. I got better weapons, bows, and shields through either defeating enemies or finding treasure chests. I acquired various equipment I needed to withstand the harsh climates. I defeated the four “divine beasts,” gaining special abilities to make my way into the castle and defeat my final foe. I tamed wild horses so I could explore more quickly, as well as ride into the castle and save the fair, pointy-eared princess in style.

            For a while, I delayed ending the game, instead choosing to do more missions and quests. In fact, if it weren’t for this article, I probably would still be out there in the fantasy world, finding more shrines and obtaining more ancient powers and weapons. But at some point I have classes to attend and homework to do, and this article would be woefully incomplete if I do not detail my final storming of the castle. Plus, the princess needed to be saved, and what would she think if she knew I was dilly-dallying in the wilderness hunting wild boar instead of saving her?

            I rode my finest horse to the main gate, hoping to run fast enough to dodge the incoming barrage of fire from the castle guardians. My plan played out better in my head, as I was soon shot down, taking serious damage in the process. Nope, better to go in stealthily. Putting on my stealth clothes and downing a stealth elixir, I decided to sneak around back and enter from there. I climbed walls and used Revali’s Gale (a power I received earlier in the game) to make an updraft of wind and propel myself higher and higher up the castle. Despite my attempts to avoid all enemies, at one point I had three guardians locked into me at once, and it was only the blast of one knocking me downward that saved me, as it propelled me out of range. Better take a different path. After a couple slight miscues and close calls, my stealth plan worked and I made a final sprint towards Calamity Ganon’s quarters.

            Calamity Ganon: the scourge of Hyrule Castle, the epitome of hatred and malice. There isn’t any sort of character development for him; he just represents evil in the broad sense. Good enough for me. This guy has the princess and I am going to take him down. He takes the form of a mega, fiery, spider-beast. To be honest, defeating him was not that difficult. I kept my distance, and at this point I was an excellent shot with a bow and had plenty of ancient arrows and bomb arrows, the two most powerful in the game. The second phase required me to get on my horse, and fire arrows at glowing targets until Zelda, the princess, appeared and finished him off for good.

            The ending cinematic sequence of the game is minimal (some may say anticlimactic). While I expected some romantic, or at least emotional meeting between the knight and the princess, what actually occurred was far less. After thanking Link and declaring him the Hero of Hyrule, Zelda turns towards Link and asks: “Do you really remember me?” before rolling to credits. Apparently, there is a slightly expanded ending if you find all of Link’s missing memories that he lost, of which I only found a few. While I also yearned for a more emotional ending, I thought that it, while truncated, was quite fitting. Much like the game itself, it gives only a small portion, leaving the rest to your own creativity and imagination. The ability to control what you do and where you go is part of what makes the game so unique, and the world that it takes place in is so exciting.

            After beating the game, I am now in the process of overcoming my addiction. Thinking back, I realized there was so much more I could have done, so much unexplored terrain. Maybe I beat it too early. Was I ready to end my video game career so soon? Now that I have all this extra time, should I finally take one of the hybrid course survey reviews? Fortunately, I won’t have to wait too long. The sequel is projected to come out by November 2021 and has already won the Most Anticipated Game of the Year award. Until then, I will put the story of Link on hold and continue writing my own story.

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nw7cz@virginia.edu

Hidden Gems on Wheels: Food Trucks in C'ville

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Grace Tang ‘21
Foreign Correspondent

Charlottesville has always been known for its great food scene. From Bodo’s Bagels to upscale French dining at Fleurie, the restaurants in town offer great options for all occasions. Since moving to Charlottesville I have scouted websites like the Charlottesville 29 and asked locals for restaurant recommendations. However, I recently discovered a big portion of the local food scene that was previously unknown to me. The food trucks of Charlottesville offer delicious and unique options, and they are a game changer. Many of the food trucks offer cuisines that are unique in the city, and they are well worth chasing down.

            Thrill of the hunt: The tricky thing about food trucks is that they don’t operate on regular hours like brick-and-mortar restaurants do. The easiest way to find them is by following a specific restaurant’s social media, as they will post their weekly schedules online. Another good way to find a food truck is through the IX Park Thursday or Saturday markets. Since a good number of food trucks rotate through those events, they are a great opportunity to try food from multiple vendors. Below is a short list of my favorite food trucks and market food vendors.

Little Manila – Filipino Food Truck

            Little Manila cooks up delicious Filipino barbeque and comfort food. I am obsessed with their lumpia (Filipino spring roll), which comes as a side to almost all of their dishes. Popular menu items include their pork belly or chicken BBQ, chicken adobo, and pancit (stir-fried rice noodles). They also offer their BBQ items as tacos.

            Little Manila posts their weekly schedule on their Facebook and Instagram pages, and they often attend the IX Park Market events. If you’ve been craving a satisfying Filipino meal, this is the spot. It is also a delicious way to experience Filipino food if you have never had it before!

Bansan – Ramen Food Truck

            Bansan is new to the Charlottesville food truck scene, but they have been incredibly popular. Bansan also sells some yummy side dishes along with their classic ramen bowls. Fans swear by their chicken kaarage (fried chicken bites), which comes in a few different flavors. Their kaarage reminds me of Korean fried chicken because of the many sauce options available. Bansan also offers dessert in the form of taiyaki (little fish-shaped pastries), which comes in red bean and specialty flavors of the week such as cookie butter or nutter-butter. 

            I ended up trying Bansan for the first time at Potter’s Cider because I won some free ramen as part of a social media giveaway contest. The ramen was good. Bansan uses chicken-based broth instead of  the traditional pork. If you want a more traditional ramen in a brick-and-mortar restaurant, I also recommend Mashumen, which opened recently and was reviewed by my fellow editor Michael Berdan ’22. 

Pictured: Bansan makes some bomb ramen. Photo Courtesy of Grace Tang '21.

Mexican Taco – Taco Food Truck

            Who doesn’t like handmade tacos? Mexican Taco shapes and presses their corn tortillas by hand, and the result is delicious. Apart from steak, chicken, pork, and chorizo tacos, the food truck also sells empanadas, nachos, and tamales. I am a huge fan of their spicy salsa, with which they top their tacos alongside cilantro and cheese. After shopping at the Saturday market I was fed well with two tacos for just over $3 each.

            Mexican Taco can often be spotted at the IX Park markets, and you can follow them online through their social media accounts.

Angelic’s Kitchen – Comfort Food/Fried Fish Food Truck

            I haven’t tried Angelic’s yet, but it is at the top of my list. The food truck offers soul food, including wings, mac’n’cheese, street corn, and fried fish (their specialty). If you’re looking for some delicious Southern flavor and want to support a local Black business, definitely check them out at 1348 Long Street, Pantops in Charlottesville.

            Angelic’s Kitchen also caters, and in more exciting news, the food truck will soon be opening a restaurant at the Dairy Market in Charlottesville.

Sweet Jane’s Kitchen – Crab Cake Food Stand

            After visiting Ocean City and stuffing myself with crab earlier this year, I was so excited to visit Sweet Jane’s Kitchen at the IX Market. The food stand offers Maryland-style jumbo crab cakes. I split a crab cake sandwich and Arnold Palmer combo as an appetizer, and it was the bomb. Definitely get your sandwich with their sauce sauce and Old Bay for an authentic and delicious experience!

Khadija’s Kitchen – Authentic Middle Eastern Food Stand

            Khadija’s Kitchen offers fresh, authentic, and extremely yummy Middle Eastern food. The flaming lamb kabobs drew me to the food stand while I was wandering around IX Park. Khadija is so sweet and friendly, and she explained all of the items on the expansive menu. I tried the lamb kabob pita, which was delicious. Khadija’s has a large menu, and it changes week-to-week. I saw exotic items like tongue sandwich, ash-e doogh (yogurt soup), dolma, barbari bread, etc. Apparently, her spicy potato samosas are a bestseller, along with the cheesy spinach pastries. There are many vegetarian and vegan options available too! Khadija also makes desserts like baklava, which I will definitely try next time.

            If you’re interested in Khadija’s food, you can order it for delivery or pick up in Charlottesville on weekdays. Her menu and offerings from week-to-week are available on her social media platforms, and you can order ahead for an authentic and delicious dining experience!

It’s Popping Time – Kettle Corn Food Truck

            The kettle corn at It’s Popping Time is simply magical. I have never been a big popcorn person; usually, I can take it or leave it. However, after my first few snack packs I was HOOKED. Now I am officially an addict. The food truck always offers an array of sweet and savory flavors. My personal favorites are sweet cherry pie, caramel cinnamon, s’mores, jalapeno, cilantro chive, and cheddar. The owners are wonderful people and offer samples of all their flavors. Check them out: the $3 snack tubs are definitely worth it. Or, if you are addicted like me, the $8 large bag is the best bang for your buck.

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Gt5ay@virginia.edu

An Introduction to Rocky Horror in 2020

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Will Holt ‘23
Staff Editor

As a born contrarian, I hold that Glee, not High School Musical, shall be remembered as the most significant trashy teen musical series of the early twenty-first century. Shocking, I know. However, before a mob of angry Disney-philes drags me off to an impromptu appointment with Madame La Guillotine, permit me to explain. While High School Musical peddled an endless stream of corporate crafted and artistically insignificant original music, Glee did not presume to know better than the great creative minds of our time and instead focused on curating a stream of tastefully produced cover songs. Other than gifting the public with three seasons of eminently entertaining television—and another three not worth mentioning—the ultimate effect of this creative decision was the exposure of millions of young and impressionable minds to fifty years worth of pop culture classics. It would take a cleverer man than me to calculate how many young people first experienced the genius of Fleetwood Mac, Aretha Franklin, and even the Beatles, thanks to Glee. Although I had listened to most of these musical giants long before I first tuned into Fox Network’s bombshell hit, there remained one embarrassingly large gap in my experience. I had never heard of—much less seen—The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

For the benefit of those unfamiliar with the seminal cult classic and main subject of this article, I shall provide a history of the film. The brainchild of an intermittently employed actor, Richard O’Brien, Rocky Horror began life as a campy stage musical in London. Inspired by cheesy ’50s science fiction and B horror movies, O’Brien crafted an irreverent parody of these pictures and, with the help of the talented director Jim Sharman, thrust his blasphemous creation upon British audiences in 1973.

Met with immediate success amongst critics and the general public alike, Rocky Horror turned into a pop phenomenon almost overnight. Production on the film version began soon after the original premiered on stage, starring the ever-fabulous Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter and O’Brien himself as Riff Raff. The Rocky Horror Picture Show appeared in theaters in the summer of 1975, and, unlike the stage production, it proved to be an utter flop. On life support, The Rocky Horror Picture Show continued to be shown only in the dingiest of late-night theaters. However, in this environment, the musical found its niche. Midnight showings of the film became increasingly popular nationwide, and theater groups found the original play to be a fun and preposterous production to perform. Over the years, Rocky Horror grew into a worldwide cult phenomenon, tickling and triggering generations of adventurous fans.

The regular screenings developed a culture all their own. In addition to watching the film, when one goes to see Rocky Horror, one also dresses up in a campy costume and arrives prepared to lob obscenities and toilet paper at the characters on screen. Most attendees have seen the show so many times that they have memorized all of the popular chants and slurs delivered by audiences during the most famous scenes. At many showings, these veteran fans put the newcomers through some sort of light hazing before the movie begins. For example,  when I arrived at my first viewing, a man sporting a satin cape and black fishnets scrawled the letter ‘V’ on my forehead in cherry pink lipstick. As one might imagine, seeing Rocky Horror for the first time can feel more like a brutal rite of passage, or perhaps trial by combat, than an average trip to the cinema. 

Unfortunately, nowadays, most people would cringe and squeal at the thought of packing themselves into a crowded theater late at night. Midnight screenings of Rocky Horror are yet another casualty of this novel coronavirus. However, I don’t believe the inconveniences of the present should deter one from enjoying the film on his own. True, much of the entertainment value of watching Brad and Janet’s misadventure is in the hooting and hollering of one’s fellow theatergoers, but a private screening can also be a pleasant way to enjoy the music and take in the movie. Although I concede there is no substitute for a public screening, watching the show on one’s own can still be beneficial, especially for first-time viewers, as they will not have to cope with the debauchery of other fans.

In short, do not let COVID stand in the way of you doing the “Time Warp” again. There are countless ways of safely enjoying the show without piling into a physical theater. Although I can think of no perfect analog for a public viewing, one may find that a more subdued environment has its virtues. However, if such an idea remains totally unpalatable, perhaps revisiting Glee’s 2010 tribute to the show would be an acceptable compromise.

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wjh4ew@virginia.edu

Super Awesome Show Review: The Boys

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Will Palmer ‘21
Special Projects Editor

            In these uncertain times, it’s extremely important to maintain our mental health by distracting ourselves from the cascading mudslide of existential horrors going on literally right now. Don’t think about it. Find ways to ignore it as strenuously as possible. Ostriches live happy lives when they’re on the beach. How about wrapping yourself in the warm, snuggly comfort of superhero stories? Everybody likes those, except for Communists. The most dominant form of superhero media today—the Marvel Cinematic Universe—has crafted a recipe for superhero tales that is as wholesome, palatable, and mildly unfulfilling as Panera Bread.

            Enter Jeff Bezos. Oh, Jeff. You twisted little minx. I should have known I was in for a wild ride when I found out the series my friends had recommended—The Boys—was on Prime Video. The sales pitch essentially went, “You like superheroes, right? What if they were f***** up? Like, really, really f***** up?”

            “How bad could it be?” I thought. “I read the Wikipedia page for Brightburn.”

            The Wikipedia page for Brightburn doesn’t have jack on The Boys. Good lord. This is not a show I would recommend to my parents. In fact, I specifically disrecommended it to my parents. Baby Boomers already think the entire world is out to get them; they don’t need to worry about an evil analogue of Superman shooting them with laser vision.

            The Boys is my favorite new show of the past couple of years. Not just because it would horrify my folks, although that is clearly a bonus (the last time I talked to my parents about a TV show, I spent an hour explaining how the first episode of M*A*S*H is “somewhat problematic”). Spoiler alert for both seasons (of The Boys, not M*A*S*H) from here on out. 

            The Boys starts with the concept of “realistic” superheroes (what would happen if the Flash sprinted into someone at full speed?) and just runs with it.  The show uses this framework to examine topics as wide-ranging as United States foreign policy, corporate greed, the dangers posed by neckbeards who spend too much time online, and the fact that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has the ability to make heads explode like the only memorable scene in Scanners. We even got a season-long subplot lampooning a religious collective that is 100% not representative of Scientology! It would take a long time to explain how the show ties these disparate threads together, but I found that it did so with a generally high rate of success (I should note that I found the not-Scientology plotline to be a bit overlong for what the payoff was).

             Speaking of payoffs, I thought that the season-long series of jabs at the Marvel and DC Cinematic Universes—particularly the wince-inducing “girl power” moment in Avengers—wasn’t going anywhere past making fun. Leave it to The Boys to follow through and give female characters a chance to shine in a brutally righteous fight scene that didn’t come across (to me, a man) as pandering or inorganic. “Girls get it done,” indeed.

            Strong performances abound in this show, particularly in Season Two—the biggest standouts to me have been Antony Starr (Homelander), Aya Cash (Stormfront), Dominique McElligott (Queen Maeve) and Shawn Ashmore (Lamplighter), but the casting choices and acting are, overall, very strong. I can nitpick some things—for example, the mediocre chemistry between Hughie (Jack Quaid) and Annie (Erin Moriarty) or the occasionally cartoonish aspects of Karl Urban’s performance as Billy Butcher—but that’s not to say that the acting is bad by any means. It is, after all, based on a darkly funny comic series; it should be cartoonish sometimes.

            The show’s increased budget is apparent in some of the larger-scale fight scenes and sets. It wasn’t a huge problem in Season One, but the CGI was sometimes cheap-looking or distracting, and this season represents an improvement on that front.[1] Some of the fight scenes are still edited in a choppy, confusing manner, but, hey, not everything can be the hospital shootout from Hard Boiled.[2]

 A couple of odds and ends: 

●      I absolutely loved the fact that Black Noir’s only weakness is a tree nut allergy. They even hinted at his aversion to Almond Joys earlier in the season!

●      If you pay close attention, the compound that Black Noir assaults in the season premiere is pretty much an exact replica of Bin Laden’s hideout in Abbottabad.[3]

●      I started being a huge fan of Ryan when it was revealed that he was making stop-motion Lego remakes of Dances with Wolves and The Blind Side. You can’t not root for a kid like that, especially when he turns a centenarian Nazi into Anakin Skywalker on the low ground.

●      The leaked video of Homelander lasering a supervillain abroad is a pretty apt encapsulation of certain aspects of US foreign policy, right down to the civilian casualties and cheesy thumbs-up before he flies away to let the locals deal with the problems he exacerbated. Fantastic!

            If I had to rate Season Two of The Boys on a scale of 1-10, I would give it an 8.33 (repeating, of course). A couple of episodes and side plots were on the slow side, the editing of the fight scenes could improve, and a few threads were left dangling in annoying fashion (what’s Cindy been up to since she escaped Sage Grove in Episode Six?). That said, Season Three could end up tying these side stories back into the main plotline in a rewarding way. I am more than willing to give the showrunners the benefit of the doubt when everything else has been so enjoyable thus far. If you’re looking for something new to watch that has a great cast, shocking and funny moments, and amusingly subversive takes on superheroes in modern culture (among other topics), you could do a lot worse than The Boys.

            Oh, and one last thing: What’s up with all the Fresca? If you’ve got theories, get in touch.

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wtp7bq@virginia.edu

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[1] They definitely didn’t skimp on the gore budget, either. In Episode 5, Kimiko grabbed that one guy and took his face…off.

[2] If you haven’t seen it, look up the single-take shot from Hard Boiled online. That’s how you shoot an action scene. 

[3] I still find it hilarious that we killed Bin Laden and then released his porn search history. Chalk another one up for the good guys. 

Food Recommendation Corner: Dr. Ho's Humble Pie and Citizen Burger

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Stan Birch ‘22
News Editor

A Potentially Controversial Opinion on Local Pizza

            After months of being conditioned to eat pizza every week in the Law Weekly office, Monday nights during quarantine served as a sharp reminder that I wasn’t getting the greasy fix that initially lured me to join the paper. After realizing I should take matters into my own hands, I started working my way through local pizza places (excluding chains, so my condolences to Mellow Mushroom). My method involved ordering whatever sounded good for the best deal and then eating too much of it. After six different restaurants and eleven different pizzas (split or sampled), I found a clear winner that I kept returning to and will continue to return to regardless of the state of the pandemic: Dr. Ho’s Humble Pie. A quiet spot unheard of by many of my colleagues, Dr. Ho’s takes take-out seriously and is worth the short drive.

            I recommend the Triple Threat Pizza Combo, where you can pick your choice of salad and specialty pizza. Along with their specialty pie and salad that could fill two meals on their own comes the best bulk version of garlic bread I have had in a long time. That “garlic bread” comes with fantastic house-made ranch dressing and marinara dipping sauces and is named perfectly to describe how you feel after too many slices: Fat and Sassy. As soon as sweater weather is on the horizon, I’m guessing I’ll be placing regular orders again. It’s refreshing that Dr. Ho’s is humble, because they have a lot to brag about.

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Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Guest Writer

The People’s Burger — Citizen Burger Bar

            When something you’ve spent $15 on falls to pieces in your hands, that’s usually cause to be upset. But not when it comes to burgers. I rarely use the term “hot mess” endearingly, but in this situation, I can think of no better way to describe Citizen Burger’s titular meal: the Citizen Burger. It’s a hot, beautiful, delicious, and greasy mess. The restaurant itself, however, is anything but a mess. Clean and located directly across from the Paramount Theater on the Downtown Mall, this burger bar boasts hole-in-the-wall-quality burgers with the sleek venue and pleasant outdoor seating of a not-hole-in-the-wall restaurant. The atmosphere is comfortable, friendly, and, if you’re lucky enough, you might even catch some drama and spot someone getting mugged Downtown (based on a true story).

            Citizen Burger’s ideology is just as noble as their burgers. Based on the belief that burgers and beer are simple pleasures, tantamount to a basic human right, Citizen Burger strives to bring that experience to all of Charlottesville. Owned by Wahoo Andy McClure ’01, the restaurant sources as many of its ingredients from local farms as possible. Thanks to their philosophy of making simple burgers that stand on their own merits, not the pomp and frills of many a strawman burger, Citizen Burger’s menu is surprisingly low maintenance. It’s easily navigated, and you can trust the signature burgers to get the job done. Their drink list, however, with more than 110 beers and no shortage of cocktails, is a different (although still wonderful) beast altogether.

            At the end of the day, Citizen Burger meets the level of quality it promises, although, thanks to my commitment issues, I hesitate to confirm its self-proclaimed status of “BEST BURGER IN CHARLOTTESVILLE.” That being said, if you doubt the claim yourself, Tripadvisor is more than willing to provide its objective and factually correct rankings, on which you will find Citizen Burger sitting pretty at #1.

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sfb9yu@virginia.edu
jtp4bw@virginia.edu

Food Recommendation Corner: Pearl Island and Szechuan Restaurant

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Leah Deskins ‘21
Professor Liaison Editor

Pearl Island Catering and Cafe

While working alone from my apartment this summer, tucked away from the rest of society, I discovered Pearl Island Catering and Cafe, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.[1] They offer an array of “platters” featuring a meat or vegan protein, kale salad, rice, pigeon peas, plantains, and pikliz (basically Haitian coleslaw). There are also a few other options, but I haven’t tried them yet, so per the Honor Code rules, I won’t make up a review of them here. The platters are reasonably priced, between $7 and $15, and can fuel you for between one to two-and-a-half meals. You can either drive to Pearl Island to pick up your order or have it delivered through a third-party app. I’ve only tried jerk chicken as the protein in the platters I’ve ordered, because why change after you’ve found perfection? It’s filling and flavorful (though I’m pretty sure it gives me heartburn). However, my favorite aspect of each platter is, by far, the plantains. I’d previously never liked plantains, but Pearl Island’s are the perfect mix of crunchy, chewy, and salty, and they taste incredible with the cafe’s aioli. A summer associate classmate commented that she could tell they were good based on how I was eating them, and she made that observation over a WebEx lunch, friends. They’re that good. All in all, I’d give Pearl Island a 9.5/10 (the heartburn, man), and I’d highly recommend it as a fix for your takeout craving.

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Michael Berdan ‘22
Staff Editor

Szechuan Restaurant - 2006 Holiday Dr.

            While I am known to be a fairly adventurous—even snobby—eater, I’ll admit that General Tso’s Chicken[2] is my habitual guilty pleasure at Chinese restaurants. Not out of pickiness—I love to go with others and try new dishes—but simply because I find it fun to judge and compare among restaurants. At Szechuan Restaurant, tucked to the side of 29, I get the General Tso’s Chicken extra spicy. The chicken isn’t overbreaded, and it always comes out fresh and blazing hot (the three main criteria for good General Tso’s Chicken).  At lunch time, it comes with peppers and onions in a container bursting at the seams accompanied by fried rice and an egg roll, for only $8 and change.

Ann Yu’s parents have owned and operated the restaurant—working twelve-to-fourteen-hour days, seven days a week—for over thirty years. Ann recently ran a campaign for community support through gift certificates during their pandemic closure—that’s how I found them. They’re now open again for take-out. So call ahead, and Ann’s mom will bring your food out and take payment when you arrive. You might even catch Ann’s dad picking squash or other vegetables from the garden out front to make some of the dishes. He will likely greet you with a big smile.

Pictured: Szechuan Restaurant is a family-owned institution. Photo Courtesy of Ann Yu via Charlottesville29.

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lcd4ew@virginia.edu
mwb4pk@virginia.edu

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[1] Except for the heartburn aspect. I do not recommend that.

[2] Brought to the United States in the 1970s by famous chef T.T. Wang, GSC is a variation on a dish invented in China decades earlier. When the dish’s original creator, Peng Chang-kuei (former banquet chef for the Chinese government prior to the Communitst Revolution) came to NYC and opened his own restaurant, he was angry, because everyone thought he had stolen the name from Wang, and customers were disappointed at how different the dish was (the original is not deep-fried, and its sauce is not sweet). Eventually he caved and started making Wang’s version.

Summer Jams to Keep Your Playlists Spicy

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Kolleen Gladden ‘21
Photographer

“Creature Comforts”- Trella

         Even the wildest folks have a comfort zone. I have found this to be especially true of the largely risk-averse law school population. Trella proves she’s human like the rest of us with this tribute to a beautifully uneasy love. Perhaps my favorite thing about this song is that it isn’t describing a reckless romance that throws you into the deep end. Rather, Trella describes someone sneaking into the corners of her heart, something gently disarming her emotional barriers. It brings to mind a conversation I had with Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 this year. I had remarked to her that I couldn’t picture her with anyone but her fiancé, Jansen VanderMeulen ’19, a view shared by just about anyone who’s met the pair. She replied, “I can’t either anymore. Before I knew him, I had an idea of what I thought would be a good match for me. Then I met Jansen, who was completely different than what I’d had in mind—and he was perfect.” Aside from being an absolutely gorgeous sentiment, I think there’s an important underlying lesson here that extends even beyond relationships. It’s key not to become so caught up in searching for what we think is good for us that we miss out on something better. I can’t count the number of times I thought I knew what I wanted only to be blindsided by a greater option that I’d never considered. You never know what beauty might be waiting just past your “Creature Comforts.”

Pictured: Trella during an intense jam-sesh. Photo Courtesy of @TrellaTunes on Instagram.

“All Night”- PRIZM

         If you’re looking for the synthy 80’s retro-pop soundtrack of your dreams, look no further than PRIZM. A criminally underrated duo from Fort Worth, Texas, PRIZM makes the kind of lighthearted music that all of us could use more of right now. “All Night” is one such bop, reminiscent of the times when we could go outside and socialize with other human beings. It’s just an upbeat song about staying out and dancing until sunrise. That’s it. No frills. This is the kind of tune that makes reality just a little bit quieter. Their entire discography has that effect, actually. So go ahead, give them a listen and get some of that sweet, sweet serotonin.

Pictured: PRIZM is exactly who your parents warned you about. Photo Courtesy of @weareprizm on Instagram.

“Bby”- Two Feet

         Two Feet knows how to set a mood. This has never been more evident than in his newly released album Pink. His smoky, cool-guy vocals paired with impressively evocative instrumentals come together to produce the kinds of sounds that will make anyone feel something. Sometimes, he forfeits his voice entirely, instead letting his hands do the talking. “Call Me, I Still Love You” is one-minute long and features no vocals, but the tune tells you everything you need to know. The versatility of Pink ensures that every person who listens to it will pull something different from it depending on what they’re going through. “Bby” is one of my personal favorites just for the intro. There are only four distinct lines in the entire song, and there’s certainly no need for more. The passionate opening hook does all of the heavy lifting, and it just works. I sent “Bby” to a friend who responded with: “The guitar part makes me want to get undressed.” To that I say, we’re in social isolation, my friends. If you’ve worn pants at all in the last three weeks, it might be time to re-evaluate.

Pictured: Use your two feet to walk to a computer to turn on and jam to Two Feet. Photo Courtesy of @TwoFeetMusic on Instagram.

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kcg3ar@virginia.edu

Tiger King: Questions Asked and Answered

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Sam Pickett ‘21
Columns Editor

         As Virginia Governor Ralph Northam ordered residents to stay at home until at least June 10, the state, and really the world at large, wondered what they would do with all this time at home. And it was in this time of chaos and insecurity that Netflix gave us the show we didn’t know we needed: Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness. This is a show that is so wild and filled with chaos that it doesn’t even address the fact that one of the main characters, Carole Baskin, is suspected of killing her husband and feeding him to her tigers until the very end of the second episode. While you could spend an entire series investigating that type of mystery, as many Netflix shows do, Tiger King addresses the mystery only briefly before promptly moving on to bigger and crazier things. What does it say about a show where someone who murdered her husband[1] is somehow the most moral person in the show?[2]

         Rather than review the series, which would be a boring and lame use of the 800 words that the Law Weekly for some reason continues to give me, I am going to answer a few questions that keep me up at night. ***I feel like here is where I should put a spoiler disclaimer, but honestly we have been under quarantine for three weeks and we have been CR/NC for a one and a half weeks, so you should really be caught up by now or else you’re clearly not socially distancing appropriately.

(1) Here I will rank Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, and Doc “Bhagavan” Antle based on who is the most entertaining: Joe, Carole, and Doc.

         Joe is an easy choice for this—he describes himself as a “gay gun-toting redneck,” he had three husbands, two of whom he was married to at the same time even though they were by all accounts not gay, and he has run for both President and Governor of Oklahoma. Joe is a born entertainer and it clearly shows.

         The real controversy in this ranking is between Carole and Doc. But here’s the thing—Doc is not entertaining, he is really just creepy. Did you ever laugh when he was on camera? I can’t remember when I did. Did you ever squirm whenever you saw him? Yes. Every time. His beard and his weird little pony-tail made me viscerally uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Carole’s strange outfits and catchphrase “hey all you cool cats and kittens” at least made you giggle. Next topic.

(2) Here I will rank Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, and Doc Antle based on who is the most morally questionable: Doc Antle, Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin.

         Doc has a cult and forces women to sleep with him to improve their position at the zoo. He also kills tigers when they become too old (allegedly).[3] His only redeeming quality is that he feeds his tigers well (i.e. not expired Walmart meat). Other than that, he seems devious and lacks any of Joe’s charm.

         The fight between Joe and Carole was a hard one. Joe feeds his tigers with bad Walmart meat, illegally breeds tigers for their cubs and then sells those cubs, allegedly hired someone to kill Carole Baskin, set his own alligators on fire, and basically imprisoned his (ex) husbands. But Carole…Carole definitely killed her husband and fed him to the tigers and also just had creepy vibes. Something about all those whimsical bike riding scenes. She also seemed to care less about the tigers and more about gaining the moral high ground over Joe, even while forcing volunteers to work more than sixty hours a week for FREE. But still, she is at least trying to save the tigers while Joe is just trying to save his own face.

(3) Who is the worst character on the show?

         Jeff Lowe, and then Jeff Garretson (fat Chucky). Next question.

(4) Was Joe actually singing in the music video?[4]

         Does it matter? He’s a beautiful country music singer in our hearts.

(5) Where is the line between tiger fanatics and cults?[5]

         The line is unclear, and this is really more of a philosophical discussion regarding the spectrum of tiger love. On one hand, you have me, who has always loved tigers and wanted to be a tiger growing up and whose favorite Disney character was not a hero but instead Shere Khan the tiger.[6] But I know not to ever buy a tiger. The closest I ever got was making my first email address tigers321@gmail.com. Although, this show now exists…and now there is a cult developing around the show, which is kind of ironic.

         This was a sporadic and a random list of questions and answers. But that’s what we do here at the Law Weekly. If you want to discuss any of my takes, or if you just want to talk about the show in general, please @ me. Most people don’t want that, but I really do. Please. I really don’t want to listen to my class recordings.

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shp8dz@virginia.edu

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[1] She did it. Let’s just settle that right here. If you don’t think she did it then I would like to know what show you were watching.

[2] Shout out to Jacob Jones ’21 who brought this question up.

[3] Definitely.

[4] S/O to Meg McKinley ’21 for this question.

[5] S/O Jacob Jones ’21 pt. 2.

[6] The Jungle Book villain, obviously.

Baby's Day Out and the Necessity of Noticing

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Michael Berdan ‘22
Staff Editor

The other night, I watched the John Hughes-penned classic, Baby’s Day Out (1994).  While Hughes is more fondly remembered for his 80s teen romcoms (Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), I turned to Baby’s Day Out for some braindead slapstick after a particularly draining day in quarantine, hoping only that I’d get to hear my son laugh.

In a similar vein to Home Alone (also written by Hughes), Baby’s Day Out involves a seemingly vulnerable child gaining the upper hand on some bumbling criminals (Joe Mangegna, Joe Pantoliano, Brian Haley). One-year-old Baby Bink is kidnapped by the three criminals and held for a $5 million ransom. But Bink quickly slips through their grasp, crawling across rooftops and through department stores, riding buses, and scaling a skyscraper under construction, all while our villains are beaten, smacked, run over, burned, drenched in concrete and slime, and dropped several stories into conveniently-placed dumpsters (which, of course, break a fall from any height).

But among these gags, there is a lesson to be learned. Our not-so-hapless hero, Baby Bink, manages to evade the detection of just about everyone throughout the film. He crawls through a crowded department store and slides gleefully across the floor when pushed by the rotating door. He even yanks a dangling cord, pulling the mic out of the hand of a TV reporter who is LIVE ON AIR, REPORTING ON HIS DISAPPEARANCE. The camera dips down, showing Baby Bink live on TV, but Bink’s mom, who is watching the broadcast at home, was distracted at that precise moment. No one notices, and Bink continues down the downtown Chicago sidewalk, pursued by the criminal trio.

The people don’t maliciously ignore him. They aren’t presented as missing him because they’re overly wrapped up in something bad or selfish; they are simply living their lives. Some even do catch a glimpse—one construction worker, for example, sees Baby Bink’s back half-crawling around the corner—saying, “Was that… a baby?” before shaking his head and going on with his day.

What do we just barely miss? What passes behind us or underfoot, undetected? Of what do we catch a glimpse and say, “Was that…?” before going on with our day?

Perhaps it’s the fact that thousands of asylum applicants have been dumped back over the border into Mexico after reaching the United States, in violation of international law, without being given a proper hearing. Maybe it’s the fact that black American women are 2.5 times more likely to die in childbirth than their white counterparts. You’ve likely heard of these things; maybe they ring a bell, but we don’t really see them. We miss smaller things, like a harsh comment we make to a friend, which stings us as we deliver it, but which we don’t retract and for which we don’t apologize. Maybe it’s time we waste.

Sometimes we miss good things, too. We catch a glimpse but the good things don’t really “land.” Perhaps you’ve heard that each day, roughly 170,000 people rise out of extreme poverty, and 325,000 people get access to electricity for the first time. We miss smaller things: Last night, when a friend suggested I buy a video game to play together, and I responded that it was out of my budget, she offered to buy it for me. I was grateful, but it wasn’t until writing this now that I realized what that really meant—what was expressed in that offer.

What would it mean to notice more of the things that sneak by us?

It may be unreasonable to suggest we all do more, just as we’re grappling with what could develop into the greatest global calamity since World War II. I also see the irony of making this point in the context of an overlong article reviewing an indefensibly dumb movie that I did, indeed, spend ninety-nine minutes watching. But let me suggest, in closing, that now is exactly the time when we should be noticing our world, and all that surrounds us, even if we start small. Now, when we are detached from school and friends to an extent and things are developing a little more slowly in our personal lives. Perhaps now we can notice that this virus, which seems to be destined to arrive imminently on our own doorsteps, started as a disease considered both foreign and overblown.  We can notice more when someone says they’re “good” with a hesitation, and engage on another level of sincerity. We can notice when our chosen vocation supports systems or entities that do violence. We can notice the goodness of those nurses and doctors working long, understaffed, underequipped hours. We can catch something that might have slipped by, care about it, and do the right thing with it.

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mwb4pk@virginia.edu

Music Suggestions

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Kolleen Gladden ‘21
Photographer

All to Myself- Baby Rose

The first time I heard Baby Rose’s voice, my jaw dropped. Her vocals are wise well beyond her years, rich and velvety smooth. Her sound could be considered the eighth wonder of the world as far as I’m concerned; it’s unlike anything you’ve ever heard. In “All to Myself,” Baby Rose delivers a musical monologue to a former flame who may never hear it, telling of a relationship far enough in the past to be nostalgic but recent enough to be painful. The lyrics are devastatingly familiar to anyone who has ever left words unsaid or found themselves drifting apart without a definitive closure. It’s a message with great emotional potential, and Baby Rose has the creative ingenuity and depth of talent to take us there. When she croons, you can almost hear the gentle static of a Victrola, low and pulsing. The thing about this song is that you could transport it to any time period, play it for an audience, and they would understand the familiar ache simply by taking in the sound. This song will make you pine for lovers that you’ve never even had. It’s that powerful. She’s that powerful.

Ashnikko- Invitation

I was introduced to the absolute chaotic goddess that is Ashnikko when a friend of mine sent me a song of hers and said that it made her think of me. I certainly cannot claim to be nearly as cool, but I certainly can identify with this artist’s style. Ashnikko  just does not care, and it comes across in everything from her brash lyrics and defiant style to her effortless vocals. She recently entered the public consciousness by collaborating with Yung Baby Tate on “Stupid Boy,” which then rose to meteoric levels of popularity on TikTok (an app not entirely dissimilar to Vine, for those who are squarely past the Gen Z loop. It’s okay, I merely know the thing exists.) “Invitation” has a familiar message for any woman who’s experienced, well, being a woman in a public space. The setting is summertime, she’s trying to enjoy a day of bicycling and wearing temperature-appropriate clothing, but the questionable less-than-gentlemen on the block have other plans.  “I can’t even wear my skin without them asking where I’ve been,” she laments. As many of us are aware, there is no garment with enough coverage to ward off seedy guys. Ashnikko has the bravado to deliver this message, reminding us that our dress or behavior is not an excuse for comment—and that this is not an invitation.

Turmion Kätilöt- Minä Määrään

Translated literally as “Midwives of Ruin,” Turmion Kätilöt is the Finnish industrial metal band of your dreams. They’ve been a favorite of mine since early high school, largely due to their incredible use of instrumentals and gritty but not overwhelming voices. “Minä Määrään” hails from perhaps their best studio album, “Usch!” which was released in 2009. The song is truly a masterpiece in so many ways. The lyrics are absolutely what you would expect; there are utter gems that translate to  “horned fetus growing in the underworld,” “rebel against the blood,” and my personal favorite, “booze, fornication, and North State cigarettes.” What a fantastic line. Although research on North State (“Nortti”) cigarettes turned up very little results, I sincerely hope that they used this as a slogan. Sign me right up. Beyond the gloriously metal choice of words, Turmion Kätilöt beautifully pairs the low, growling vocals with synths. If you know me, you know that my heart can be easily won by the introduction of synths. It might seem like an odd pairing, but trust me, it works. Additionally, if you’d like recommendations for other Northern European metal bands, don’t hesitate to reach out.

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kcg3ar@virginia.edu

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

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Lena Welch ‘20
Teen Romance Editor
New Media Editor Emeritus

Well, I had just applied a facemask and turned on my electric blanket when new Editor-in-Chief Christina “Big Tuna” Luk sent me a text. “The Law Weekly needs a P.S. I Still Love You (PSISLY) review. Stat!” Don’t you worry, readers, I have been training all of my life for this. What are my qualifications? I’ve already watched PSISLY three times, including during a 7 a.m. viewing party I threw Wednesday, and I’ve seen To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (TATBILB) approximately thirty times. I’ve also seen every Noah Centineo Netflix movie and every Jordan Fisher live TV musical, and I had a real-life crush on Ross Butler when he was in high school because he was friends with my sister and would sometimes come over to go swimming in our pool. So, it’s Lena Welch, reporting for duty!

Let’s begin with Jordan Fisher because the biggest tragedy of the whole film is that my boy is behind a piano for 2:47, and he didn’t sing! Y’all, I know a version exists where he’s singing. Release the Snyder cut! He has the voice of an angel.[1] Also, word on the street (a.k.a. BuzzFeed) is that he improvised this whole piano piece.[2] The sound guys were probably annoyed, but the viewers were probably smitten with John Ambrose.

Although I doubt you’re reading this if you haven’t seen TATBILB, let me quickly get you up to speed. The story, which is based on a 2014 novel of the same name by Jenny Han, centers on Lara Jean Covey. She is a voracious reader of romance novels and has never had a boyfriend. She has, however, written five love letters. After older sister Margot breaks up with her boyfriend Josh and goes to college, younger sister Kitty sends the letters in the hope of finding LJ a boyfriend. Enter Peter Kavinsky. Peter is one of the recipients of Lara Jean’s letters… as is Josh. Drama! Peter and LJ decide to fake date to convince Josh that Lara Jean doesn’t still like him and to make Peter’s ex Gen jealous. Well, it’s a romance movie for teens, so it’s not much of a spoiler to say that Lara Jean and Peter fall in love for real—as did the viewers (looking at you, Noah).

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, PSISLY. The story picks up with Lara Jean preparing for her first date. The new couple shares in a wonderful night, full of puppy love. But, it turns out another one of LJ’s letters was delivered—to John Ambrose McClaren. John Ambrose appears to have felt the same way during Model UN in sixth grade. Can Lara Jean navigate the challenges of being a girlfriend for the first time while reconnecting with John Ambrose as they volunteer at the retirement home? After watching this movie, I’d have to say no. She did not do a good job.

The beginning is cloying. Too sweet. It leaves you craving conflict. Then, it delivers the conflict. It delivers the conflict hard for about an hour. With twenty-five minutes to go, you really don’t know what’s going to happen to Lara Jean, Peter Kavinsky, and John Ambrose. It doesn’t seem possible to reach a resolution, but, boy, does it give you exactly what you want. Part of the problem with the movie is that it knows exactly what you want and refuses to give it until the very end. It’s actually quite upsetting for those of us invested in the love story.

While the second movie does not quite capture the irresistible qualities of the first (and I mean irresistible—I watched that darn movie four times in the first day I saw it),[3] it still has some really high points. Peter looks awesome in the pullover for his first date and the final scene, possibly the biggest high point for me personally. John Corbett is super charming again as Dr. Covey, who is also struggling in the beginning stages of a romance. We meet Stormy, a resident of the retirement home and former showgirl of the sky. And we get to experience Valentine’s Day at Adler. Which seems intense.[4] I didn’t notice anything remotely resembling this Friday at UVA Law, which is, for all intents and purposes, a high school.

Unfortunately, we also experienced a few really awkward moments in this movie. While the Lara Jean sad lip-syncing is an unmistakable low point, the awkwardness of the conversation in Peter’s car and at the treehouse reunion also took me out of the movie a bit. In Peter’s car, it seems like they were going for #ConsentContent, which I really support (and I hope this hashtag takes off because apparently no one else has thought of it before, and it’s genius), but it beats around the bush too much to be an effective learning moment. Although the treehouse scene seemed somewhat realistic in how uncomfortable that situation would be, I also needed a hug after it.

If you can make it through those moments, the wild ride at the end is even more satisfying. There’s lacrosse, there’s heartbreak, there’s friendship bracelets, there’s a makeover, there’s snow. What else do you really need in a film? Plus, there are two kisses exactly two minutes apart to conclude the movie, so you know they were really interested in giving the people what they want.

All in all, I’m not angry this movie exists, which I think is the real measurement for sequels. PSISLY had to follow a surprise hit. It also had to once again handle a protagonist whose main characteristic is that she overthinks things, make a guy who viewers believe to be perfect seem less, and set up another love triangle without copying the previous one, all while leaving us liking both boys. It’s hard to replicate the magic of a movie like TATBILB, and while PSISLY doesn’t quite get there, it is a pleasant addition to what we all hope will be a trilogy. It doesn’t stand up to re-watches as well as the first, but PSISLY is definitely worth checking out. Also, if you haven’t yet watched TATBILB, please do yourself a favor. And do me a favor by inviting me over to watch with you. Thx.

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lw8vd@virginia.edu

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[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsRi-Aj9fQs.

[2] https://www.buzzfeed.com/noradominick/to-all-the-boys-2-jordan-fisher-improv-piano-moment

[3] https://twitter.com/lenawelch/status/1033737645459943424?s=20

[4] Lara Jean bakes a turnover for Peter, which I support as a move. But I’m supposed to believe Lara Jean, who in TATBILB didn’t know to make a tray bake for Kitty’s bake sale and got flour all over her face, is a baker now? I don’t think so. I’m a baker, and I almost never get flour on my face. On my clothes, sure! But my face? Almost never.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum: Croby's Urban Viddles

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Two of the Law Weekly’s editors recently hit the town to try out the number one rated restaurant on Yelp in Charlottesville. What happens next will literally shock you.

Taylor Elicegui ’20
Features Editor

I recently made a very important discovery that I feel compelled to share as widely as possible: Croby’s Urban Viddles. Croby’s features New American comfort food at its best. It’s the number one Yelp-rated restaurant in Charlottesville, and as a person who loves Yelp, I felt obligated to go as soon as possible. After my first trip, I dragged Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 and Jordin Dickerson ’20 there for another journey. Trust me, it’s worth the hype.

            The menu has three “main” dishes and several sandwiches, sides, and other combos. Two main dishes particularly stand out—The BBQ Sundae and Dippin’ Mac and Cheese. Pro tip: go with a friend who will split them with you. That’s what I did on my first visit and it was the best. The BBQ Sundae comes in a big mason jar and includes layers of pulled pork and chicken, cauliflower mash, pimento cheese, baked beans, and coleslaw. The Dippin’ Mac is a giant bowl of macaroni and cheese with baked beans, pulled pork and chicken, and flour tortilla chips. The menu warns you to prepare for the “Croby’s Lean” after the Dippin’ Mac, and that’s a real concern. After my second trip, where I consumed a bowl of Dippin’ Mac all by myself, along with multiple pieces of delicious corn bread and beer bread and a side of cauliflower mash, I had to go home and lay on the floor for a while. It’s too good not to finish, even if you’ll need a little rest afterward.

            The atmosphere is generally fine, although nothing particularly remarkable. The location is definitely a strike against Croby’s for most law students—it’s out in Mill Creek. Anyone who lives near the Law School has to make more of a journey to indulge. It’s about a fifteen-minute drive, unless you get too preoccupied singing country music and get on Highway 64 in the wrong direction. Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything. The inside reminds me of a fast-casual restaurant, although it’s a seat yourself, tables with waiters kind of place. It would definitely be a good place for kids, because every table is complete with crayons and toys. The service is fast and friendly, which is another plus. My other complaint concerns the drink specials. I won’t spoil the surprise for you, but make sure you check out the drink special menu while you’re there and be prepared for a little bit of disappointment.

            All in all, I’m obsessed with Croby’s and can’t wait to go back. It’s delicious, unhealthy, and creative. Do yourself a favor and get there ASAP.

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Eleanor Schmalzl ’20
Editor-in-Chief 

            After a week or two of hearing Taylor rave about this Croby’s place on multiple occasions, I knew she and I needed to go and give our readers a review of what is supposedly the highest rated restaurant in Charlottesville. With that high of marks, I was expecting an upscale comfort food establishment. Little to say, I was very surprised to see it as part of a small strip mall next to Food Lion behind the 5th Street Shopping Center. But I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, so I went into the fine establishment with still-high hopes of good cooking.

            The restaurant had a nice cozy feel and was clearly a family place. There were toy dinosaurs on our table, and it looks like other tables had various kids’ toys to keep them entertained. I’m all about anything at restaurants to prevent screaming children, so I was happy with the (likely) slobber-filled toys that protected my ears from the wrath of babies’ screeches throughout the evening.

            The fried pickles were a great app to start dinner, fresh with a delicious dipping sauce. I enjoyed our server, who was patient as we waded through their menu of relatively limited food options (the only real main entrees are the ones Taylor mentioned). I opted for a grilled chicken sandwich with coleslaw and mac n’ cheese, ready to see if this “southern” establishment could live up to the sides my southern Kentucky family has during the holidays. The coleslaw was incredible, and I say that as a self-proclaimed coleslaw enthusiast; the mac n’ cheese was solid, but not the best thing I’ve ever had. Overall, I was happy with the meal but don’t recommend the chicken sandwich––it was fine,[1] but it’s clear their specialty is the real comfort food. I should’ve known better than to try to split the baby with grilled instead of fried chicken.

            Despite my slight disappointment with the chicken, I wrapped up dinner feeling so full that I wouldn’t have to eat for another 48 hours (spoiler: I did eat before then, but only because of societal expectations because tbh I was definitely still full for at least that long). As a Law Student with very little current income (read: kinda broke), the bill was a wonderful surprise––my meal was around $20 with tip for an app, a full meal, and an extra side. Bang for your buck is great here, and I promise the fifteen-minute drive from the Law School will be a good change of pace for all the folks who never leave North Grounds (really, I promise there’s a better world out there than Barrack’s Road Shopping Center). All in all, a great place to go with good friends, so next time you’re craving some good comfort food, you should head to Croby’s.

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tke3ge@virginia.edu

mes5hf@virginia.edu

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[1] Eds. Note: This statement has not been reviewed and approved by the paper’s official chicken sandich reviewer...yet.

Meal Kit Madness: Review of Meal Kit Delivery Services

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Grace Tang ’21
Lifestyle Editor

How it began: It all started with an Instagram ad. I was scrolling through photos of friends, cute dogs, and relatable memes when a Hello Fresh box came within my field of view. Clearly the price paid for the social media advertisement was worth it because I clicked on that attractive picture before my mind really registered what I was doing.[1] Of course, one thing led to another, and five minutes later I was choosing what meals would be delivered to my doorstep next Wednesday.

            Meal kits are pre-portioned and prepared groceries that get delivered to the door on a weekly basis. They come in big cardboard boxes lined with ice, to ensure the ingredients inside are kept fresh.  

What’s the verdict? To my astonishment, I enjoyed the meal kits much more than I ever imagined. There are a huge number of meal kit delivery services available, and I have tried three different companies so far. What I like about the meal kits the most are (1) they don’t waste groceries, they’re convenient and in the exactly correct portions when delivered. No more scrounging for ways to eat the rest of your three pounds of carrots or onions, or forgetting ingredients and having to run back to the store; (2) meal kits are also a great way to learn new recipes and improve cooking skills. No matter what your skill level, you can learn to make tasty foods you’ve never tried before, and make them on your own later. I have become much better at making steak and cooking new types of carbs, like couscous.

For pretty much anyone I know, I would recommend getting one or two trial deliveries because they are highly discounted. For example, my first Hello Fresh box (two meals for two people, for a total of four meals that week) came out to under $15. That’s less that $4 for a healthy, balanced, home-cooked meal. As a frugal law student, I appreciated this price-to-product value.

After the trial period, the meals become much pricier (e.g. around $5-10 per serving with shipping) so I would recommend doing trials of a few different companies and choosing the service you most enjoy if you choose to commit to meal kits long-term. Most meal kit companies will give you discounts on the first four deliveries (first four weeks), so you can try different varieties for a long time.[2] Additionally, if you don’t want to make meals in a specific week, all of the companies will let you skip.

 Who can do this? One problem that worried me was whether the meals would be too easy or difficult to make. Since grade school, I have been cooking and baking all kinds of recipes, and I thought myself to be a pretty good chef. I wondered if the recipes would be bland and boring. To my surprise, though simple to execute, the dishes were pretty sophisticated and cooking them was a lot of fun. I learned many new ingredients and ways to prepare familiar ingredients. For example, I fell in love with Israeli couscous which I had never made before. I also learned a delicious new recipe for zucchini ribbon salad, where zucchini is sliced thinly with a peeler and eaten raw.

For individuals who don’t cook often, the recipes are pretty much fool proof. Many ingredients (like those in the zucchini salad) are prepared raw, while others are roasted in the oven. As long as you can follow basic instructions, the meals will turn out fine. Be aware that there are basic ingredients like salt, pepper, olive oil, and butter that the meal kits already expect you to have at home and will not supply in the kit.

Different diets: For those who have a dietary restriction like keto, paleo, vegetarianism, veganism, gluten free etc., most meal kits are pretty good about providing options each week that cater to those needs. I would recommend looking for a meal kit that specializes in the diet. Although Hello Fresh usually has a seafood, and two to three vegetarian/vegan meals each week, the selection is much more limited than a vegan meal kit that offers eight options a week for the diet.

Meal kit companies: The companies I have tried are Hello Fresh, Marley Spoon, and Every Plate. Hello Fresh has a good balance of meals, and its recipes are very tasty. Usually I get four portions a week from them. Every Plate is much cheaper than Hello Fresh, and could be a good long-term meal kit as its portions are $4.99 each. However, they generally deliver six meals a week, and the selection is slightly more limited. Marley Spoon is sponsored by Martha Stewart,[3] and they have a whopping twenty selections each week, with pretty gourmet recipes. However, they are the most expensive, so I only got one trial.[4]

Although I have not tried them personally, good vegan or vegetarian meal kits include Purple Carrot and Sun Basket. Green Chef makes great Keto and Paleo meal kits. All of these options have trial discounts as well.  

Final tips: As you embark on this meal kit journey, make sure you select your meals as soon as possible. Otherwise, if you miss deadlines, you will get their default or pre-selected options.[5] Almost all the services have apps you can download that keep track of meals and deliveries. Also, don’t forget to cancel your subscriptions, or skip meals when you don’t want a delivery. Best of luck, and happy cooking! 

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gt5ay@virginia.edu

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[1] If you take Professor Spellman’s Behavioral Decision Making class, you can learn more about the psychology of how people make decisions—that ad was definitely rigged.

[2] Note that the heaviest discounts tend to be on week one and two, so cancellation after the first two weeks is most cost effective.

[3] My cooking hero and guru, honestly watching her cooking videos is how I kill a lot of time. I’m always so impressed at how she doesn’t even look down in her cooking videos, what a badass.

[4] Four meals for the first week of Marley Spoon cost under $20 for four portions, worth it to cook like Martha!

[5] Don’t let this happen! You can preselect meals in future weeks way in advance, so do them all at once.

Fantastic Fall-scapades in Charlottesville

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Grace Tang ‘21
Lifestyle Editor

Whether you are a seasoned 3L or a brand new 1L (welcome!), there are not-to-be-missed fall adventures and opportunities awaiting you in Charlottesville and the surrounding areas. Many of these events will end soon, so make sure to take a break from hitting the books and go enjoy what the area has to offer.

Fridays After Five – Sprint Pavilion at the Downtown Mall

Every Friday 5:30 to 8:30 p.m.

Ends: September 14, 2019

Admission: Free

              Catch the last weeks of Charlottesville’s favorite live concert series, which has been happening in Charlottesville for over thirty years. The event is conveniently located in the Downtown Mall, and there are usually food trucks and beer for purchase around the concert venue. Friday is also a perfect opportunity to unwind after the week is over and jam to local artists. I really enjoy the event because everyone in the community comes out, and it’s a great way to mingle with Charlottesville locals.  It’s also excellent for dog and cute children spotting.

              Pro tip: Grab dinner at a delicious restaurant at the Mall before the event, then walk down the Mall to enjoy the live music afterward.

Sunset Series at Carter Mountain Orchards

Another beautiful sunset at Carter Mountain Orchards. Photo courtesy of afar.com

Every Thursday evening until 9 pm

Ends: September 26, 2019  

Admission: Free

              Who doesn’t love cider, peach ice cream, baked goods, live music, Instagrammable views and sunsets? The Sunset Series is a Charlottesville (and UVA Law) tradition. Bring some friends, chairs, and blankets to enjoy the food, live music, and gorgeous view from the mountain. After the sun sets, the fairy lights come on and make for a great atmosphere. Each week, a different band performs, and the band information can be found online. 

              Pro Tip: Try the apple cider donut (fantastic combination with ice cream or a cider slushie) and grab some local produce from the market before you leave. The weather can get chilly in the evening, so dress accordingly.

Charlottesville City Market  

Every Saturday morning from 7:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

Ends: December

Admission: Free

              The Charlottesville City Market has everything you could want, from Kombucha on tap, to laptop stickers, kettle-corn, organic produce, and fresh flowers. It’s a fun experience to wander from shop to shop, admiring the many items available for purchase. I really enjoy the variety of stores and items available. It’s a great location to buy a personalized gift or do some grocery shopping.

              Pro Tip: Grab some food and baked goods along with your other purchases. Many of the eateries have vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options as well.

In this game of polo, Marco is nowhere to be found. Photo courtesy of TravelerFromVA.

Polo Games at King Family Vineyards

Each Sunday from Memorial Day Weekend through early October at Roseland Farms from 10:00 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Ends: See Website

Admissions: Free         

              Are you ready to pour yourself a glass of wine and watch people play “the world’s most exciting sport” favored by royalty like Prince Harry? Get ready for a classy affair and good times. Bringing chairs and blankets for watching the game is advised. Bonus points to King Family Vineyards for hiring a great lawyer who wrote out the disclosure and liability warnings on their website (tort law in action).

              Pro Tip: Make sure to check the website and double check on the Sunday of the game to make sure the event is still scheduled. 

Montpelier Hunt Races

November 2, 2019

Admissions: $20 per person

              If you have always wanted to watch a horse race on the estate of a past President of the United States, Montpelier is the event for you. An annual event that is a sort of Charlottesville take on the Kentucky Derby, attendees dress up to watch the horse races and bet on their favorite. As the event occurs in the fall, the weather tends to be gorgeous. Various vendors also sell quirky local goods, and antique clothing. A friend from Darden bought a top hat at this event last year. 

              Pro Tip: Bet a dollar at the various races! I won eight whole dollars last year on my first race and it is so much more fun when you have an interest, even if it’s just a dollar, in the race. 

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gt5ay@virginia.edu

Law Weekly’s Guide to Healthful Exercise

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Christina Luk ‘21
Executive Editor

Ali Zablocki ‘19
Editor Emeritus

As we start the year, what better way to get off on the right foot than to go on the right hike?

There are a great many paths one may take in life, and the start of the year represents for many of us the start of a new journey. For our new intrepid 1Ls, a hike in nature will refresh the mind and preserve your sanity. For those returning from a busy summer, fresh from the gentle ravages of OGI or glumly returning from a sweet month-long vacation following a 2L summer job, a hike will recoup those broken spirits. For the celebratory, the crestfallen, and all those on the middle path, there is hiking. What is a tort? Contracts who? Meeting of the minds? All that will come in due time. Take off now for the green and vibrant hills! Nothing beats the hiking trails of Virginia. I present to you, Law Weekly’s Guide to Healthful Exercise.

Rivanna Trail

The Rivanna Trail starts just outside the Law School doors, making it accessible for even those of us in the deepest and darkest of gunner pits. To find freedom and fresh air, one need simply to walk out the double doors by Caplin Auditorium, down to the D3 parking lot, and off into the trees. The Rivanna Trail is a gentle 19-mile road that winds through the cheerful city of Charlottesville, perfect for meditational walking or running. There are some very cool spots, such as the one just behind the Conservatory on Main Grounds. The Trail gets a little tricky by Old Ivy Road, where it seems to break off, but worry not, it picks up again once you find the train tracks, which honor compels me to say are technically illegal to cross. The Rivanna Trails Foundation App has street and satellite maps to help you find your location and keep the adventure going.

Humpback Rocks (Blue Ridge Parkway)

Humpback Rocks. Don’t do it, you have so much to live for! Like Torts II, its like Torts I but without the texts complaining about your sectionmates.

The hike at Humpback Rocks is nature’s homage to the Law School. As art mimics life, so too does the grueling uphill trek mimic the learning curve of 1L life. The hike at Humpback Rocks begins with a beautiful thirty-five minute drive from town. Take I-64 and, everyone but the driver, direct your camera phones at Rockfish Valley as you approach the summit at Afton Mountain. You will not disappoint your Instagram followers.

At the south end of the Humpback Gap parking lot, follow the blue blazes on the trees to Humpback Rocks. (The same parking lot also gives access to the aptly named Humpback Mountain and the Humpback Rocks picnic area.) At about a half-mile up the trail, take the spur trail on the left to begin the ascent. This 700-foot climb represents the arduous first year of law school. This rocky, uphill scramble rewards you with a job spectacular view of the Rockfish and Shenandoah Valleys. 2Ls and 3Ls may saunter downwards at a more sedate pace along the Appalachian Trail, perhaps finishing the day at one of the lovely wineries nearby, or, go wild, even a cidery.

Blue Hole (Sugar Hollow)

Blue Hole, somewhere your ancestors would be ashamed that you hangout with no shelter. Photo courtesy of Healthy in CVille

Are you in the mood for a swim? Ready to submerge yourself in something other than cold sweat and anxiety? Sugar Hollow is only thirty minutes away! Bring some water-resistant shoes or be prepared to wet your toes, because this short 1.5 mile hike has a number of water crossings. The idyllic Blue Hole swimming hole has both a pool and a shallow creek for sitting. This is also a fantastic spot for pup-walking or, if you’re still only a wannabe dog parent, pup-watching!

Crabtree Falls (Nelson County)

Water falling down rocks at Crabtree Falls, a place to sit and reflect and ponder your narative of why BigLaw is right for you.

This perfect half-day hike winds up through the woods, with at least a glimpse of the cascading falls for almost the entire time. The waterfall is the tallest east of the Mississippi River, at around 1,000 feet high, and its roar is soothing in the extreme. Around 2.5 miles long, ending at the top of the falls and with views that can only be described as food for the soul, Crabtree Falls trail may be the most restorative of Law Weekly’s recommended hikes. Bring a book (for fun, not school, duh), bring some lunch or just cookies (the perfect snack for any peak), go with friends or alone (you’ll end up running into some dogs with their humans almost any day of the week, so it won’t be an utterly lonely wander in the wilderness) . . . and if you go in October, the trees will be flaming with color, AND you might see a seasonally-appropriate, neon orange pumpkin spider!

Hidden Gems from Seasoned Hiker Dani Gibbons ’21

Devil’s Marbleyard—This location is an hour and a half away from the Law School, but it is sure to please. Enjoy an easy hike up to the yard before ascending straight up for a mile on a hill covered in enormous marble boulders. There is no solid ground! Consider this one of the more challenging options on our list. Dani’s pro-tip? When you descend, stay to the right (facing the hill) and use the solid ground path. Also, go on a cooler day, because there’s no shade to be found here.

Sharp Top/The Peaks of Otter—This Virginia classic is around two hours from school. Sharp Top is a moderately steep 1.5 mile hike up with a 360-degree view that makes it the most popular of the Peaks of Otter, although the other two peaks are unique and enjoyable hikes in their own right.

Need hiking buddies? Section-mates abhor nature and its accompanying creepy-crawlies? We at Law Weekly tip our hats off to OVAL (Outdoors at Virginia Law), the club that organizes great retreats and hikes throughout the year.

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cl3eh@virginia.edu
amz3ez@virginia.edu

Winter Is Here: The Law Weekly Reviews Season Opener of GoT

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Will Palmer ‘21
Staff Editor

As I’m sure you’re aware, the final season of everyone’s favorite medieval butchery simulator/incest normalizer, Game of Thrones, premiered on Sunday after a two-year hiatus. My reactions are below.

Spoiler Free Review: It was fine. Why are you reading this if you haven’t seen it yet? If I said it was terrible, would you just give up on a show you’ve been watching for seven seasons? Sheesh. Stand for something, people.

Spoiler Inclusive Review, aka the Good Stuff: The new opening sequence is great—the broken Wall and visual representation of the Army of the Dead marching south was a neat update, and the interior details of the Winterfell Crypts and the throne room in King’s Landing helped to drive home how the story has very much narrowed into those two key locations.

Winterfell: The showrunners are very pleased with themselves for discovering the concept of circular storytelling. Dany and Sansa start off on the wrong foot, as expected (more manufactured Winterfell drama? Fun!). Bran “pulls a Bran” and interrupts to tell Dany that one of her “children” is now a zombie dragon. Jon takes the news that his “little brother” is now a human version of Google (well, probably more like Bing, because he’s only occasionally helpful) quite well, considering. The interplay between Tyrion, Varys, and my man-crush, Davos, is delightful, as always—although Tyrion telling testicle jokes seems like low-hanging fruit (pun semi-intended) and reflects how his character seems to have lost some of his edge over the last few seasons. We used to think he was the cleverest man in the world…but then the show got ahead of the books.

Speaking of the cleverest person in the world, Sansa has been establishing herself as quite the power player. This is a good thing, because otherwise her character arc would have been more of a straight line of horrible suffering, and we don’t watch Thrones to remind ourselves of real life. That said, I was hoping for a better reunion between her and Tyrion; it felt like their conversation was cut short. This is true for a majority of the reunions in the premiere—all are well acted and at least somewhat satisfying, but it feels like the showrunners made them all go by quickly so as to not overstuff the episode. The thing is, we’ve been watching this show for god knows how long now, and we want to see a bunch of super long conversations with characters catching up because we’re invested in those characters. As long as we’re talking reunions, the weapon that Arya requests from Gendry is interesting. I’m sure that “Chekhov’s dragonglass spear” will come into play in a future episode. I’m hoping for more scenes between her and the Hound later on in the season—they’ve always been one of my favorite pairings on the show.

Jon and Dany’s dragon-riding date was cute, but pretty cheesy—although not quite as ham-fisted as Varys saying “nothing lasts” while looking at the two of them. Ominous!

It was good to see Sam again—John Bradley’s acting in his scenes was incredible, especially his distinct reactions to hearing of his father’s and brother’s deaths (RIP Dickon). Because the Winterfell crypts aren’t in compliance with the ADA, Bran makes Sam tell Jon the truth about his parentage. The conversation was actually slightly less awkward than expected, thanks to a convenient opportunity for Sam to segue into a discussion of kingship, and it was amusing that Jon’s first reaction was “Ned wasn’t a liar!” instead of “Wow, we should not have traveled north by boat!” Sam’s question to Jon about whether Dany would give up her crown to save her people was a highlight of the episode—it very effectively set up what is sure to be a difficult conversation, although I suspect that they’ll sidestep the issue with a marriage proposal, which might help to placate the irritatingly flighty northern lords. But we all know how weddings go in Westeros…

Things picked up a bit in the final scenes. Besides Jon learning the truth about his heritage, we got a horrifying scene up at Last Hearth (yeah, I looked up the name of the Umber castle) and a Michael Scott-level awkward moment with Jaime and Bran. Those whacky White Walkers and their craft projects! I’m sure they do well on the Seven Kingdoms’ version of Etsy.

King’s Landing: Ah, this crew of scumbags! And they’re hatching nefarious plots! Color me surprised. Euron is an interesting villain when he’s not being really, really creepy—but I guess that kind of thing sort of plays with Cersei. She’s displeased that he didn’t bring her any elephants, because the whole CGI budget went towards dragons (I wonder how many reviewers are making that joke?). More interestingly, she’s clearly drinking wine after bedding Euron—something she was careful to avoid when talking to Tyrion about her “pregnancy” last season.

Qyburn makes an interesting proposal to Bronn and, because it’s HBO, we get a face full of T&A at the beginning of that scene. Someday the Lannisters will stop cucking Bronn with their schemes, but not today. That said, if you think Bronn is actually going to murder Tyrion with a crossbow, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Oh, and that ginger Lannister soldier that Bronn’s female companions were talking about that got his face burned off and now has no eyelids? Turns out that was Ed Sheeran’s character. I am delighted to say that I’m not kidding about that.

Theon’s rescue of Yara was predictable, but cool. If it hadn’t happened, the only gore we would have gotten this episode is a zombified eight-year-old pinned to a wall, and that’s not HBO. This way we also got a gratuitous closeup of a bisected face! As an aside, Theon looks like he rips top cheddar with the savage lax flow he’s got going on. Lettuce like you read about.

The Verdict: This was a pretty traditional GoT premiere: lots of table-setting, with a couple big moments to hook us for the next episode. Pros: the new credits sequence was great, there were some genuinely funny moments, and the actors all gave great performances during the various reunion sequences/awkward crypt discussions. Cons: some of the scenes felt artificially shortened, and the way Jon and Dany’s relationship is being handled feels a bit clumsy. Tyrion’s newfound gullibility is irritating. And there were only six murders.

7/10 Heads on Pikes (extra .5 for immolating Ed Sheeran)

Best of Charlottesville in the Not-So-Expert Opinion of a 1L Foodie

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Grace Tang ‘21
Lifestyle Editor

Since moving to Charlottesville nine months ago, I have been tirelessly hunting for the best eats in the surrounding area. My Instagram stories document the lengthy extent of my “research” (shameless plug: go to Instagram @foodventures_with_grace for photos and Charlottesville food reviews). In fact, so great was my enthusiasm and passion for delicious noms that the Law Weekly created the Lifestyle Editor position so I could share the joy with the Law School community.

The list below reflects the best of Charlottesville in several categories of food and drinks. If you feel differently or have other recommendations, please reach out so I can pass on the insider knowledge in future Law Weekly features!

**Note: Chicken Sandwiches are not featured as they have been extensively researched by our own Drew Calamaro in prior editions of the Virginia Law Weekly.**

Pizza – Lampo

              Lampo is a Charlottesville classic for Neapolitan pizza. Not sure what to choose? The classic Margherita is always a great option, although you can’t go wrong with any of the choices. Lampo offers a really interesting scissor pizza cutter, which I have not seen anywhere else before, and cutting my own delicious slice of pizza always makes me feel accomplished. Pro tip: Go during lunch or a non-busy weekday. The restaurant is very small and they don’t do take out or reservations. This is also great place to take your professors out to lunch!

Appetizers + Catering – Feast!

              If you are a fan of decadent devilled eggs, smoked salmon on cucumbers, and fancy finger foods (who isn’t?) then Feast! is the perfect place to grab catering. My personal favorites are the fresh fruit platters, cheese boards, and Shabooboos (delicious pickled peppers stuffed with cheese). I’m especially impressed with how pretty and elegant the presentation is since, after all, eyes (and cameras) eat first.

Thai – Monsoon Siam

              I went to Monsoon Siam four times in ten days after discovering the restaurant for the first time. Enough said. Special mention to Geneva Torsilieri Hardesty ’19 for introducing me to the life changing deliciousness that is Monsoon Siam. After bringing friends to the tiny Thai phenomenon, they described their meals as “life changing” and “insanely good.” My personal favorites includ anything with duck, Kao Soi, Kapow Crispy Pork Belly and Shrimp, and the clay pot noodles. Pro tip: The house Thai iced tea is delicious, and their mango sticky rice is the star of the show—a must order for dessert.

Chirashi-don from Now and Zen. Photo courtesey of Grace Tang ’21.

Sushi and Bowls – Now and Zen

              Now and Zen offers a cozy Japanese dining experience with an extensive menu. The restaurant is small and only opens for dinner. The food is beautifully presented and there is something on the menu for everyone. My roommate, who is vegan, raves about their Green Giant roll. I really like their Dragon roll, which is shaped like an actual dragon, and the Aburi salmon roll (torched salmon) with the perfect kick of spiciness to round out the richness of the fresh salmon. Pro tip: If you are feeling rice bowls, their chirashi-don (mixed sashimi) bowl and Unagi-don (eel) are among the restaurant’s most popular items.

Chicken – Al Carbon Chicken (Peruvian Roast Chicken)

              Al Carbon is an absolute gem. The star of the show is their juicy Peruvian chicken, seasoned and roasted to perfection. The restaurant itself is very cozy with plenty of seating. The restaurant offers a number of house-made sauces, many of them with a kick of spice, which I highly recommend.  Pro tip: Order a combo to try some of their interesting sides like cactus, yucca fries, fried plantains, and grilled jalapeños. 

Ramen – Lemongrass (Limited Availability)

              I think Lemongrass on The Corner offers the best ramen in town. As a ramen connoisseur, I feel that theirs is the most traditional and authentic. However, the restaurant only offers ramen on the weekends between 12 p.m. and 5 p.m. so make sure to go during that time. The traditional tonkotsu ramen is my go-to. Pro tip: If you have a sweet tooth, I recommend their deep-fried matcha ice cream, which is garnished whipped cream and jam.

Winery/Cidery Day Tours

A day trip to drink wine and admire the views? Count. Me. In. The numerous cideries, breweries, and wineries are a special feature of the Charlottesville area. Pro tip: Book a tour when parents or friends are visiting Charlottesville. There are a number of agencies who conduct these tours, and it’s a great way to spend a beautiful day out in the vineyards. I recommend King Family Vineyards or Pippin Hill.

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gt5ay@virginia.edu