Organization Named After Lying Will Represent Law School in Honor Convention

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Sarah Walsh '23
Staff Editor

Pictured: A Libel Sketch about a Public Interest Student at dinner with their family.
Photo Credit: Peter Lee Hamilton '24.

UVA Law, meet your newest representative in the University’s upcoming Honor Convention: The Libel Show. That’s right, the Law School’s one and only delegate for the convention—where students will attempt to draft the University’s new Honor System—isn’t being sent by the Student Bar Association (SBA). Instead, the delegate is being sent by the organization that had most of the Law School paying money to see a man in a cropped referee’s jersey, booty shorts, and Crocs do cartwheels on the same stage that former Supreme Court justices have spoken from.[1]

For those who are unfamiliar with the current state of the University’s Honor System, here is a brief overview: For the past 180 years, students found guilty of committing an Honor offense—defined as a significant act, committed with knowledge, of lying, cheating, or stealing—were to be expelled from the University. However, this past spring, students voted to reduce the sanction imposed for Honor violations down to what amounts to a two-semester suspension. While the vote marked the largest change in the Honor System’s history, many Honor Committee members want to take these changes further and have expressed support for the implementation of a multi-sanction system.[2]

To gather input on what additional changes students want to see reflected in the Honor System, the chair of the Honor Committee—fourth-year College student Gabrielle Bray—announced in September that the Committee would be hosting a constitutional convention.[3] CIOs would be able to send delegates to the convention, which at the time was scheduled to take place in early October. After consulting with SBA President Juhi Desai ’23, 2L Senator James Hornsby ’24—who helped construct his undergraduate university’s honor system—sent Bray an email and submitted his name as the Law School’s SBA delegate. A little over a week later, Bray rejected the submission request on the grounds that, as a Special Status Organization (SSO) rather than a Contracted Independent Organization (CIO),[4] SBA did not have the proper classification to send a delegate.

Enter Libel. Clearly, a comedy show is the logical next step when considering what organization should represent the Law School once SBA is no longer a possibility, and in addition to being a 2L Senator, Hornsby is also an Assistant Director for the Libel Show. So, when he was rejected as an SBA delegate, Hornsby asked one of the show’s Directors (me) if Libel—which has CIO classification—would be willing to send him instead. Finding the absurdity of the situation incredibly funny, and fascinated to see where the hell this was going, I said yes.

Things didn’t get any less absurd once I got involved. Bray responded to Hornsby’s request to be sent as Libel’s delegate by saying that she wanted to chat with me, even though I was only CC’d on Hornsby’s email to her in case she had any objections to Libel sending a delegate. While I was thoroughly confused regarding what she would want to discuss with me, rather than with Hornsby (my questions asking about this did not receive a response), I agreed to a phone call with Bray that upcoming Wednesday at 12:30 p.m.

Wednesday rolled around, 12:30 p.m. came and went, and I received no phone call. At 12:40 p.m., Hornsby and I got an email from Bray asking if we could delay the call to Sunday, since she had the LSAT on Saturday and needed to study.[5] I was busy all day that Sunday, so I asked if she would be free sometime during the upcoming week instead. Rather than answer that question, Bray responded to Hornsby’s follow-up email the next day by stating that she wanted to speak with both of us, prompting a reply of “Great! When.” from yours truly. This message also did not receive a response. After about nine more emails trying to figure out when and how this talk was going to happen (one of which involved Hornsby stating that he would be “down to FaceTime, if we must”), we finally settled on a time and date for us to all hop on a Zoom call together.

During the Zoom call, which started ten minutes late and featured a lecture about the 1977 Honor Constitution, Hornsby and I learned the following information: The convention will likely feature thirty delegates, is currently planned to meet over the course of eight weeks, and has been a significant source of contention within the Honor Committee. One of the reasons for this contention has been the lack of opportunity for Committee involvement in decisions relating to the convention. According to Law School Honor Representative Daniel Elliott ’24, while members of the Committee have been able to express their opinions on the convention in an unofficial capacity, the Committee has not been able to vote on how they want the convention to operate, when they want the convention to be, or whether they even want a convention to happen in the first place. This means that Committee members have not been able to weigh in on issues related to the convention, at least not on the record, and whether their opinions will have any influence on the convention and how it will be conducted remains to be seen.

Additionally, as indicated by the email exchanges with Bray, communication has been something of an issue for those running the convention. The frustrations that Hornsby and I experienced have also been shared by many Committee members, although the students in charge of the convention have recently made commitments to improve their information-sharing and general communication with the Committee going forward. However, Committee members still have many questions that remain to be answered, such as what day the convention will start, whether alumni representatives and Honor Committee members—including the Law School’s Honor Reps—will be able to attend the convention, and whether graduate school SSOs will now be allowed to send delegates.[6]

Now, why should you care about any of this, beyond the fact that it’s kind of funny that the Law School is being represented by Libel at an Honor convention? Well, the goal of the convention is to produce an amendment to the Honor Constitution, outlining what would likely be an entirely new Honor System. So, on one level, you should care about the convention because, as a student at this University, any changes to the Honor System would affect you.

You should also care because a new Honor System is incredibly necessary. Even with the reduced sanction of two semesters’ leave of absence, students who are convicted of an Honor violation are ineligible to receive financial aid during their leave of absence and stand to lose University housing and eligibility for scholarships,[7] regardless of the severity of the offense that they committed. Data collected on the Honor System has indicated disproportionately high reporting and sanction rates for African Americans, Asian Americans, and international students (who, on top of the ramifications listed above, also face the possibility of losing their visa status if sanctioned).[8] Although a two-semester suspension is a step forward from expulsion, the fact remains that it is the only sanction available to be applied in response to a variety of offenses, in a variety of completely different contexts. As expressed by Elliott and echoed by both Hornsby and Bray, “a one-size-fits-all solution to issues of lying, cheating, and stealing has never been a fair system.” Now—through Libel, of all organizations—law students have the chance to be a part of changing that system.

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saw8rc@virginia.edu

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[1] My request to make this article’s attached photo an image of one of the cartwheels was, understandably, rejected.

[2] Lexi Baker, Honor Chair Announces Constitutional Convention Aimed at Drafting a Multi-Sanction System, Cavalier Daily (Sept. 13, 2022), https://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2022/09/honor-chair-announces-constitutional-convention-aimed-at-drafting-a-multi-sanction-system.

[3] The announcement can be found through the UVA Honor website (https://honor.virginia.edu/).

[4] The primary difference between the two classifications is that unlike SSOs, CIOs are student-formed organizations that, while officially recognized by the University, are not affiliated with it.

[5] A bold excuse to use on two law students.

[6] This question is being considered as a direct result of the SBA-Libel situation, so if UVA’s other grad schools get to send delegates through SSOs now, I have a message for those schools on behalf of Libel: You’re welcome. Shows of thanks will be accepted in the form of ticket purchases for the show this March.

[7] Some of the implications of a two-semester leave of absence are detailed on the Honor website’s page for Informed Retractions (https://honor.virginia.edu/informed-retraction). Filing an Informed Retraction is effectively the same as entering into a guilty plea for an Honor violation, and—now that the sanction for an Honor violation is no longer expulsion—it results in the same sanction as does a conviction under the Honor hearing process. Clint Roscoe & Christopher Benos, Honor Pursues Transformational Reform, Va. L. Wkly., Oct. 20, 2021, at 1.

[8] Riley Walsh, Geremia Di Maro & Erica Sprott, Report shows disproportionate Honor violation reports of Asian Americans, international students in recent years, Cavalier Daily (Feb. 18, 2019), https://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2019/02/report-shows-disproportionate-honor-violation-reports-of-asian-americans-international-students-in-recent-years?ct=content_open&cv=cbox_latest. See also https://report.honor.virginia.edu/#1; https://transparency.honor.virginia.edu/.

OPP Hosts Firm Mix & Mingle for 1Ls

Samuel Ellis '25
Staff Editor

UVA Law’s Office of Private Practice hosted a Mix & Mingle for the 1L class to meet firms. While the majority of the 1L class will work in public interest roles this summer, the Mix & Mingle provided an excellent first opportunity for 1Ls to meet UVA Law graduates at a variety of firms and learn about what they do in their respective practice areas.[1] Students placed bids through the On-Grounds Interview bidding system on Symplicity, where they ranked their choices one to forty-one in order to determine which four firms they would have the opportunity to meet out of the forty-one participating firms. The firms represented included a range of practice and geographic areas from Atlanta to New York City and Houston to Los Angeles. After rooms were assigned, students received a full list of participating firms, with links to the online biographies of the attorneys they would soon meet. OPP encouraged students to familiarize themselves with the attorneys and their practice areas before the Mix & Mingle in order to be fully prepared to engage and ask questions.

Kevin Donovan, Senior Assistant Dean of Career Development, said, “The Mix & Mingle was created some years back to meet several goals. First, we know that many 1Ls do not have a background in private practice and so need information to help make practice decisions (and an opportunity to develop legal vocabulary). Second, we determined that the changes we saw in the industry meant that effective networking was going to be of high importance. Third, there were so many single-firm events occurring that students were complaining about being overburdened (hard to believe after the isolation of Covid that this could be possible!). And fourth, we wanted to have an organized way to give firms that hire extensively at the Law School an early look at the class.”

Shortly before the clock struck 4 p.m. on Tuesday, October 18, 1L students hurried into their apartments or to semi-private meeting spaces at the Law School to attend the virtual Mix & Mingle. Students were encouraged to dress professionally for the event, where they would engage with attorneys until 6 p.m. The virtual introductions were hosted on Flo Recruit, which shuffled 1Ls from room to room until 5:35 p.m. 

Each firm room included attorneys who spoke with about six students each session. The sessions were both professional and welcoming, as associates and partners warmly introduced their firms to the 1Ls. Each session lasted twenty minutes and often focused on allowing students to ask the attorneys questions both about their firms and the job search in general. Attorneys offered candid advice about what they look for in candidates for summer associateships and occasionally reminisced on their time on Grounds, telling us about how they made the most out of their time at the Law School.

When asked about his own Mix & Mingle experience, Ricky Robinson ’25 said, “Coming from a science background, I don’t think I could have named a single law firm. Over the past few months, I had heard plenty of names bandied about by 2Ls and 3Ls with such reverence that I started to be a little apprehensive about meeting with these high-powered firms. I was grateful to attend the firm Mix & Mingle because it offered a laidback opportunity to start networking with these super interesting attorneys.” Robinson further noted his enjoyment of how students “chose areas instead of firm names. It’s all too easy to get fixated on the prestige of the name, and I really enjoyed talking with firms whose work I relished hearing about but had never heard of prior to the event.”

OPP provided a full guidance packet to students to prepare for the Mix & Mingle. Anticipating that some students have never spoken with a practicing attorney, OPP gave students a full rundown of how to conduct research, appear on camera, and effectively ask questions. Included in these materials was a useful subsection on event follow-up emails, instructing students how to write to attorneys after the event, thanking them for their time and indicating further interest in the attorney’s firm. OPP noted that, unlike thank-you emails for one-on-one interactions with attorneys, thank-you emails for school-organized group events like the Mix & Mingle are optional. For many students, these post-Mix & Mingle communications help establish key first contacts in the private-sector firms of their preference.

Following the event, OPP will send a resume book containing the resumes of all 1L participants who submitted a resume to all 41 participating firms. Coming after most students seeking firm jobs met for OPP counseling at least once and received invaluable, timely resume feedback from their counselor, the book serves as a welcome opportunity to communicate credentials to firms as the job search ramps up. Laura-Louise Rice ’25 reflected on how the fall networking events all connect into the great, interwoven tapestry that is the 1L job search when she said, “Before attending all of these networking events, it was really nerve-wracking interacting with firms—especially with less than two months of law school under my belt—but now, experiencing both the Mix & Mingle and Texas Day helped me see that partners and associates at firms are human, too, and used to be in all our shoes at one point. I definitely think participating in both of these events has helped me to feel more confident going into the Diversity Reception this week.”

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co6mx@virginia.edu

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[1] Someone at an orientation presentation had a 1L summer jobs breakdown, but I cannot find it online.

Law Weekly's Foreign Correspondent Shares Her Top 5 Travel Tips

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Bryanna Lindberg '23
Foreign Correspondent

I reached a milestone yesterday—twenty-seven countries in twenty-seven years. In honor of my twenty-seventh travelversary, here are five travel tips I’ve picked up from my years of globetrotting.

No one cares about your travel stories. Share them anyways.

It is fitting that I’m sharing these travel tips with you, faithful Law Weekly reader, even though you didn’t want them, didn’t ask for them, and don’t care what I have to say, because sharing unsolicited travel stories is what travelers do. Have you ever been like, “This is a great pickle,” and someone says, “It reminds me of that time I went to the Philippines and ate balut,” and you sigh because no one asked? Well, that’s me. And yes, one time I went to the Philippines and ate balut, and it tasted like chicken.[1] See, tip number one and you’re already learning things.

Pictured: Balut.
Photo Credit: Modern Farmer.

Trust Google Maps with your life.

No, seriously, if Google Maps tells you to chop off your toe and feed it to a pigeon, do it. Google Maps knows things about this world that our most powerful leaders can’t begin to fathom. And I’m talking about Google Maps, not Apple Maps.[2] Apple Maps abroad is like every LRW memo I wrote as a 1L—poorly researched, poorly organized, and confusing. Google Maps, on the other hand, is perfectly Bluebooked poetry.

Sometimes you’re going to get ripped off, and you should learn to let it go.

I hate being taken advantage of, and it’s led to some heated arguments. I once got into a shouting match with an Indian taxi driver because he overcharged me for a ride, which culminated in him driving off with my 1000-rupee note because I didn’t have smaller bills. The moral of the story is, I would have saved 600 rupees if I’d let him rip me off. Traveling is a vulnerable activity. Some people will take advantage of your lack of local know-how, and when that happens, it’s important to remember that the difference between a 200-rupee taxi ride and a 400-rupee taxi ride is $2.43. You’re already getting ripped off by UVA; a taxi ride is small change in comparison. 

Awkward moments make for funny stories.

Last week, my roommate and I ordered a dessert we’d seen advertised all over Istanbul, called knafeh. When our waiter brought it, he made a big show of cutting my slice, and then he fed me a piece. I’ve never had a grown man feed me dessert before, and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t hot. I started laughing nervously as I chewed my piece, which tasted like melted mozzarella cheese covered in syrupy shredded wheat, and then he wiped my mouth with a napkin. It was horrifying. “We need to get out of here before he comes back,” I told my roommate. But before we could escape, he sat down in the booth beside me, put his arm around me, and tried to feed me another piece. I closed my mouth and shook my head like a child who doesn’t want to eat their peas and pointed at my roommate. “No, feed her instead,” I said weakly, but he insisted. I reluctantly opened my mouth for the second bite of knafeh, which tasted just as bad as the first time. He attempted to wipe my mouth again, but I snatched the napkin out of his hand because strong, independent women wipe their own mouths. As we were leaving the restaurant, he grabbed my hand and kissed it, and I told my roommate that I didn’t care how good their hummus was, we were never going back to Buhara Ocakbasi Restaurant. The point of this story? Lean into the awkwardness, because it will help you reach your word count.[3]

Don’t eat the weird meat.

Trust me, don’t do it. When I was in Ethiopia, I ate some raw beef because all the cool kids were doing it, and eighteen hours later, I woke up on the floor of my friend’s kitchen, having passed out on my way to purge the entire contents of my stomach for the fourteenth time. Have you ever wondered if it’s physically possible to throw up your own stomach as you dragged yourself on your hands and knees to a Squatty Potty because you were too weak to stand?[4] If you have, text me, and we’ll start a support group.

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bl2am@virginia.edu

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[1] Balut is a fertilized developing egg embryo, typically a duck, that is boiled and eaten with salt and vinegar.

[2] After driving to California and back this summer, I’ve decided that I prefer Apple Maps to Google Maps, but only for domestic travel. If you’re traveling internationally, it’s Google Maps or certain death.

[3] The Law Weekly executive board would like to be clear: We neither requested, nor even desired, that Bryanna go through this in order to hit a word count.

[4] Also called a squat toilet, it’s exactly what it sounds like.

Two 1Ls Review This Year's "Run with Jim"

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Samuel Ellis ‘25
Ethan Brown ‘25
Staff Editors

Pictured: The Run Route.
Photo Credit: Ethan Brown '25.

University of Virginia President Jim Ryan ’92 made the trek to North Grounds for a chilly Tuesday morning run with Law School students on October 18 as part of the Student Bar Association’s Mental Health Week. President Ryan—who is well-known on Main Grounds for his frequent “Runs with Jim”—joined students for a brisk 3.7 mile run to the Lawn and back, while Dean Risa Goluboff led a smaller group of students for a twenty-minute walk down Massie Road. Several faculty and staff members joined the run, including Assistant Dean for Admissions Natalie Blazer ’08 and Director of Student Affairs Megan Durkee ’10.

 A healthy crowd had gathered by the event’s start time at 7:30 a.m. Dean Goluboff welcomed President Ryan, a former student and faculty member at the Law School, back to his old stomping grounds. Dean Goluboff praised President Ryan for his work-life balance, of which she acknowledged running was a large part, before assembling walkers and runners for a group photo.

 After leaving the Law School just a few minutes after 7:30 a.m., the crowd of runners quickly separated into several smaller clusters. Ethan Brown ’25, trying to get some brief “speedwork” in before he runs the Richmond Half-Marathon in a few weeks, went towards the front.[1] Sam Ellis ’25, who ran the Chicago Marathon just a few weeks ago, had the brilliant idea of running closer to President Ryan to ask him some questions during the run.

The planned running route was a classic four-mile loop for frequent runners around North Grounds, leaving the Law School by following Massie, Copeley, and Alderman Roads. At McCormick Road, near the Observatory Hill dining hall on Main Grounds, we pivoted left, edging closer to the Lawn and the Rotunda. Then, immediately left of the Lawn, we snaked up McCormick toward University Avenue, running past the Madison Bowl, over Beta Bridge, and across the Lambeth Commons path, towards Emmet Street. For the final stretch, we were treated to Massie’s slow and painful gradual incline by John Paul Jones Arena, before a triumphant sprint past Darden to the front steps of the Law School.

Shortly after the Beta Bridge stretch, Ellis and another 1L waited for President Ryan’s running pack to rejoin them so they could enjoy a more personal conversation with the president. Their conversation centered on their most recent running endeavors; President Ryan said he would soon ramp up training for his twelfth Boston Marathon, as part of his intended twenty-year streak running the race. President Ryan told Sam that the famously difficult Boston Marathon qualifying times allow for slower races as a runner ages. For example, a woman in the 18–34 age range must run a marathon in under three hours and thirty minutes in order to qualify, whereas a woman in the 65–69 age range must run a time below four hours and thirty-five minutes.[2]The running times associated with each age range traditionally decrease by five-minute increments until a runner enters the 55–59 category, at which point the runner is allowed to run ten minutes slower. This increase in time and corresponding decrease in expectations for aging runners elicited mixed feelings for President Ryan, who at age fifty-six is expected to run under three hours and thirty-five minutes in order to qualify for the 2024 race.

After running in Charlottesville for many years, President Ryan has developed a wealth of knowledge regarding the running scene in the area. He recommended running the Ridge Road trail, an idyllic eight-mile out-and-back trail with low automobile traffic and medium levels of elevation gain.[3] After Sam expressed his goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon, President Ryan recommended visiting Ragged Mountain Running & Walking Shop on the Corner to sign up for Mark Lorenzoni’s marathon training plan. President Ryan noted that Lorenzoni’s training plan helps take the guesswork out of training. A Charlottesville staple, Ragged Mountain Running & Walking Shop is a family business run by the Lorenzonis, whose successes range from energizing and educating beginner runners to training athletes who qualified for the Olympic Marathon Trials.[4]

When all was said and done, we ran only 3.7 miles of the planned four—somewhere along the route, we shaved off a slim portion of the planned path, perhaps revealing that most of us were so excited to be running a few seconds ahead of President Ryan that we lost all conception of time and space.[5] Led by a 1L, we all arrived back on North Grounds, greeted by a catered breakfast.

 Ultimately, even though both of us run around Charlottesville all the time, the “Run with Jim” felt like a wonderfully special way to start a Tuesday morning. And despite having to show up to Criminal Law at 8:30 a.m. while still sweaty, we have absolutely no regrets about joining President Ryan for his jaunt around Grounds.

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sav5mv@virginia.edu
bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] We humbly apologize for referring to ourselves in the third-person at points throughout this article, but YOU try writing an article about two people in first-person voice. It’s hard.

[2] https://www.baa.org/races/boston-marathon/qualify

[3] Located at (38.1031390, -78.6008679)

[4] https://www.runninginsight.com/ragged-mountain-running-walking

[5] This was a big deal, because President Ryan is fast—seriously fast.

What's Wrong with AAA Gaming?

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Will Holt ‘23
Opinions Editor

I don’t know about you, but I loved playing video games as a kid. I still do—albeit to a lesser extent. When I was in middle school and even high school, every month I would get a magazine (the publisher of which I cannot remember) in the mail and eagerly scour the pages to find additional scraps of information about games that I was playing or hoped to play in the future. Naturally, considering they were given space in what I assume was a media outlet of some significance, these games were high-profile, big-name titles known—and still known—as “AAA” games, aimed at providing entertaining (yet profitable) products to young people such as myself. Independent, or “indie,” games (as well as free-to-play ones) were of much lesser concern, and I would save up my dollar bills to purchase a high-quality gaming experience from one of the major studios. I am no longer fourteen, unfortunately, and the gaming industry is no longer what it was when I was that age. Today, there are more games to play than ever before, but the biggest and most sophisticated games now routinely fail to innovate, live up to expectations, or even release a playable product not inundated with technical bugs and glitches. Microtransaction systems, such as the one that was initially present in Star Wars Battlefront II, prey upon young players, while older players fail to see the level of improvement and creativity that was shown in new video games a decade ago, such as with the Call of Duty franchise. None of what I write should surprise the gamers amongst my audience, but I hope even those of you who are uninitiated are beginning to wonder why this has happened. 

I believe that the downward trend seen in AAA games can largely be attributed to market trends and incentives in the gaming industry. From the 1990s until the early 2010s, video game development was a rapidly growing enterprise. Not only was computing technology expanding at a break-neck pace, but gaming as a hobby (and, for some, as a lifestyle) was growing even more popular and normalized. In short, developers could leverage new technology to grab a piece of this novel and rapidly-expanding market. There was no status quo, or the status quo was fluid, so ingenious teams could create and innovate with significantly less pressure than they could in a well-developed and well-saturated market. Over the past ten or fifteen years, however, the video game industry has matured, and the market has crystallized. Gaming is no longer being normalized; it isnormalized. The stakes for video game developers, therefore, are much higher today than they used to be. Not only are games more expensive to create, as developers begin to see rapidly diminishing marginal returns from improving existing franchises, genres, and technology, but the opportunity costs of releasing a failed game have skyrocketed. We need a new video gaming revolution to break out of this slump. Such a change, however, seems like a distant hope, rather than an accomplishable goal.

The video gaming industry is no less immune to the weakness of modern corporatism than is the movie industry, the car industry, or any other segment of the economy dedicated to providing a matured product or service. A plateauing market and diminishing marginal returns on investment in existing systems are not compatible with the economic standard of endless growth in profits and shareholder value. Because the risk of innovation is so high for giant developers like EA, Ubisoft, etc., and because the standard by which these corporations are judged prioritize short-term growth over long-term investment in technology, labor, and new ideas, the AAA gaming industry has, for years now, resorted to cutting corners and to unethical business practices to meet their quotas. Such compromises in integrity include releasing unfinished games to meet unrealistic deadlines, the proliferation of microtransaction systems which prey on younger and more addicted players (in addition to occasionally veering into the realm of gambling), and unimaginative world-building and gameplay. In short, the realities of the growth of the video game market, combined with perverse economic systems, have turned our legacy game studios and franchises into hollow versions of their former selves.

The gaming industry is not doomed to decay forever. As we speak, countless indie developers, alongside much of the rest of the tech industry, are fighting to fill the demand for high-quality, boundary-pushing games. Remember how Mojang shook the gaming world when they released Minecraft—and expect more of that in the future. The technology sector as a whole has continued to make good, albeit imperfect, progress, and there is little to limit what human creativity can devise. I say, don’t look at the spiraling of FIFA, Call of Duty, and Far Cry and despair. Rather, look at the gaming industry as a bird that needs to molt its feathers in order to become even more beautiful.

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wjh4ew@virginia.edu

Everything You Could Ever Want to Know About Sharks

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Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Co-Executive Editor

The earliest known sharks date back to the Silurian period, more than 420 million years ago. However, modern sharks first appeared and diversified during the Jurassic period, between 200 and forty-five million years ago. Today, sharks are found in all seas but rarely in fresh water of any kind. The only common exceptions to this rule are the bull shark and the aptly-named river shark, both of which can swim in both seawater and freshwater. Sharks have a variety of adaptations that have made them so successful over their 420-million-year tenure. While this article will not necessarily be detailing the features of sharks that are most essential to their survival, I will do my best to discuss some of the more interesting aspects of sharks as a species.

Senses

Sharks are well known for their incredible sense of smell. Some species are even able to detect as little as one part per million of blood in seawater. This means that sharks can smell blood from hundreds of meters away, which would be comparable to a human being able to taste a single pinch of salt in about 2,000 pounds of potato chips.[1] Sharks are capable of identifying the direction a scent is coming from based on when their nostrils actually pick up the scent. This works similarly to how mammals determine the direction of sounds they hear. Finally, different species of sharks have different abilities when it comes to their sense of smell. Usually, these are based on environmental needs. For example, sharks which live in the dark depths of the ocean often have larger olfactory bulbs, meaning a greater sense of smell, than sharks which live in high visibility reefs.

Sharks and most fish also have what is known as a lateral line. This line, as the name would suggest, runs laterally down the body of the fish and allows them to detect speed and pressure changes nearby. This is generally useful for detecting struggling prey in the vicinity.

Perhaps the most intriguing sensory system of sharks is the ampullae of Lorenzini. These are electroreceptor organs found in the head of the shark. The organs are essentially mucus-filled pores with a bundle of nerves. They allow them to detect the electromagnetic fields that all living things produce. These allow sharks to find prey hidden in the sand by detecting these fields. One species of shark that makes particularly efficient use of this sensory system is the hammerhead shark. It is also believed that these organs may aid sharks in orientation and navigation, as the ocean currents moving in the magnetic field of the Earth also generate electric fields, which sharks may detect through their ampullae of Lorenzini.

Anatomy

I would like to highlight sharks’ remarkable skin. Sharks are covered in dermal denticles, rather than typical scales. These dermal denticles have been the source of much research and development in the competitive swimming world, although as someone who is not a scientist, it’s hard for me to determine what exactly the main benefit of these structures is. In short, a shark, instead of typical scales, has very small overlapping tooth-like structures (dermal denticle literally means “tiny skin teeth”). These structures are believed to help the sharks to swim more efficiently than other, scaled fish, while also affording similar amounts of protection, both from attacks by other fish and parasites. I’ve found conflicting reports on just howthese structures make sharks more efficient swimmers. Most seem to think that the shape of the structure significantly reduces the drag that sharks experience while swimming, meaning that they may go farther while spending less energy than they otherwise might. Another source theorized that the denticles might be creating low pressure zones in the water in front of the shark, literally pulling the shark forward into the low-pressure area. Another benefit of their skin is stealth. The ocean is, believe it or not, a rather noisy place. However, sharks have evolved to swim silently compared to their scaled brethren. Think of them like the owls of the sea. This adaptation may greatly increase their hunting prowess.

Lifespan

Sharks can live a long time. Generally, sharks live twenty to thirty years. Some, like the spiny dogfish, can live more than 100 years. And the Greenland shark is notorious for being the longest-lived vertebrate known to man. One Greenland shark specimen was 392 ± 120 years old, making it at least 272 years old and possibly as old as 512. Shockingly, the species doesn’t even reach sexual maturity until they are around 150 years in age.

Attacks

Sharks rarely attack humans. Only four species are involved in a significant number of fatal, unprovoked attacks on humans: the great white, oceanic whitetip, tiger, and bull sharks. In general, there is little identifiable pattern to unprovoked attacks. One of the things that one can do to avoid them is to first and foremost, stay out of the water. If that isn’t in the cards, avoid wearing jewelry or shiny metals. Excessive splashing may incite the shark into thinking you’re an injured fish, which can also cause an attack.

Some believe that shark attacks occur because of a case of mistaken identity—the shark believes that the human is a seal or some other prey item. While I have no evidence for my disagreement, I don’t buy this theory too much. Sharks are apex predators—I like to think they know what is and isn’t a seal just as well as I do.

Conclusion

Sharks are beautiful and interesting creatures. They do not deserve the fear associated with them, although a healthy dose of caution is never a bad thing. In fact, if anyone has a reason to be afraid, it is sharks. In 2021, it was estimated that the population of oceanic sharks and rays had dropped by 71 percent over the last half-century. These losses come from a mixture of climate change and, most importantly, illegal harvesting, often for shark fin soup. Poachers illegally fin millions of sharks each year, killing them in barbaric fashion. Sharks are captured, their fins are cut off while still alive, and the finless sharks are dumped back into the ocean, where they soon die of suffocation from being unable to pump water over their gills.

Further, shark fin soup is erroneously believed to be healthy. In fact, shark fins have a high concentration of the neurotoxin BMAA. Because of this, consumption of shark fins may actually pose a health risk.

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

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[1] Weird Science: Compare Your Sense of Smell to a Shark’s Sense of Smell, https://manoa.hawaii.edu/exploringourfluidearth/chemical/chemistry-and-seawater/elemental-abundance/weird-science-compare-your-sense-smell-shark-s-sense-smell#:~:text=Sharks%20can%20smell%20blood%20from,part%20per%20million%20(ppm).

Barristers United Match Report: October 23, 2022

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

After a short hiatus, the Law Weekly is ready to continue its weekly coverage of the Law School’s premier athletics program, Barristers United. Since we last checked in with Charlottesville soccer’s most electric squad, they put together two clean wins, scoring nine goals total and holding a clean sheet the entire time. Despite this great run of form, the match against ENNSA was far from a sure thing. With a shorter bench than normal, and ENNSA’s well-earned reputation as a physical squad that pushes the limits of the rules, anything could happen on a sunny Saturday morning.

However, the Barristers once again showed that they were an indomitable force within Sunday league soccer with a strong 3-0 victory. Drew Flanagan ’24 continued to write his Barristers legend with a thunderous headed goal to open the scoring and then continued to terrorize the opposition’s defense with his rapid play.

Not to be outdone by his classmate, Jacob Baltzegar ’24 doubled the Law School’s lead with a De Bruyne-like free kick curler into the bottom corner of the net. After these two goals, ENNSA attempted to marshal some sort of counterattack, but they couldn’t get anything going, due to an unrelentingly excellent Barristers defense. Zach Zamoff ’25 and Keith Stone ’24 pulled a full shift at center back and helped continue the legendary defensive streak that has defined the season so far.

However, neither of their excellent performances earned them the award of defensive MVP for the match. That belonged to homegrown talent Chris Hamborsky ’23, who effortlessly locked down ENNSA’s star striker throughout the entire game. While the Law School has enjoyed some incredible defenses in years past, this squad has a unique combination of depth and skill that puts fear into the hearts of other teams’ front lines. Defense wins championships, and you won’t find many Sunday league squads who can compete with the Barristers on that front.

After the second half started, ENNSA continued to attempt a coherent attack but left themselves exposed for another Barristers goal by friend of the team James Pierpoint. All in all, this game was one of the cleanest of the season so far for Barristers United, who continue to dominate in spite of LRW memos, 3LOLing, and all kinds of Law School-related distractions. With the playoffs on the horizon, we are excited to offer more coverage as the team marches towards another title.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

Why You Should Care About What's Happening in Iran

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Cyrus Oveissi '23
Guest Writer

Today, I booked a plane ticket to visit my grandfather in Paris. He and his brother are both buried there. They and so many other Iranians have met a similar fate: brutal execution because they believed in basic human rights for their people. Today, more Iranians are being butchered. I am here to plead for your voice and support in our fight for freedom.

My name is Cyrus. If that is not a dead giveaway, I am an Iranian American. I was named after the great liberator, Cyrus the Great of Persia. King Cyrus was known as a liberator and not as conqueror because he respected the individual religious beliefs and customs of each state he ruled over. Those of you that do know me are aware that I have a deep sense of pride not only in who I am but for where I come from. Perhaps, however, less apparent is this: coupled with my sense of pride I carry on my back decades of pain, grief, and guilt. Some 40 years ago, my father came to this country to attend college with hopes of bringing back to Iran a wealth of newfound knowledge. Then, in 1979 the Iranian “revolution” happened. A short time later, his father and uncle were assassinated in Paris in order to stop the spread of “dangerous information.” The same men who orchestrated this barbaric and senseless murder of my family are taking aim at innocent protestors in Iranian streets today. This new crisis adds to my already deep sense of exhaustion, but what keeps me going is the simple notion that I am not alone. Iranians around the world shoulder the same weight; none braver than the very men and women pouring into the streets of Iran as I write this.

In a feat of painful irony, I write to speak about these very atrocities. While I may be named after one of the greatest liberators in ancient history, right now I feel hopeless. I am angry, I want to cry, I want to fight, but I need help. Your help!  For four decades, the Iranian people, especially women (young and old), have been the subject of a crude experiment where they have been stripped of any and all individual freedoms, basic human rights, and happiness. No, my people are not rising up because they face economic difficulties. We are a resilient bunch andfor the better part of the last century sanctions have been synonymous with Iran and so too have economic issues. My brothers and sisters are pouring into the streets demanding change because we are at a breaking point. On September 16th, the barbaric regime lit a match and started a fire within all Iranians; that match goes by the name of Mahsa Jina Amini. 22-year-old Amini was beaten, tortured, and killed by the so proclaimed “morality police” (a state sponsored police force meant to ensure everyone is adhering to their strict Islamic law regime) for wearing her headscarf improperly. If you have not already seen the chilling video of the aftermath of her torture, she was struck in the head so many times she collapsed while standing and died after going into a coma. As we soon found out, she was only the first victim in a wave of torture murders focusing on silencing any hope for change.

The residents of more than 60 Iranian cities have taken to the streets seeking justice. These heroic protests continue as the people of Iran face reprisal so savage it seems as if they are living in a nightmare. Imagine for a moment that your law school, one of the preeminent institutions in your country, is surrounded by people who are there to beat you silent. Welcome to the nightmare that is Sharif University in Tehran. Imagine for a moment you are walking the streets and see an ambulance drive past you with the hope that they are there to help treat your fallen brother who was beaten blind after protesting for your basic human rights. Instead, the ambulance lowers its windows and state sponsored assailants fire metal pellets in your direction. Welcome to the Islamic Republic of Iran.

If this is the first you are hearing of this humanitarian crisis, you will understand why there is an added layer to my pain. It is almost impossible to find anyone outside the Iranian community talking about this. Even so, I refuse to believe my close circle of friends or colleagues do not care about young people just like me being slaughtered in the streets merely for peacefully voicing their opinions. Instead, I assume the broader issue is with the lack of access to relevant information. This is me doing my best to shine a light on a fight that should be personal to all of us; not just to bring peace to my late grandfather’s name, but to ensure that another generation of young women in Iran do not have to shoulder the pain that millions before her have. I am pleading for your help in this fight. Your help can take many forms, but step one is sharing this story. There is nothing more powerful than your voice of support. Please, use it. Silence is the language the oppressors favor. Share relevant posts on social media, inform your friends and families, and hug your Iranian friends. With your help, maybe one day soon my dad will be able walk streets he has not seen in 50 years alongside his sisters who are free to exist as they see fit.

In our quest for freedom, three words continue to guide us: Women, Life, Freedom. Say it with me and say it with the millions of Iranians who are tired of living in terror: Zan, Zendegi, Azadi.

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co6mx@virginia.edu

C Them Run: Cold Callers Win Crown

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Sarah Walsh '23
Staff Editor

It took four games, three fields, and forty-two total runs for the Cold Callers to become the 1L Softball Tournament champions of 2022. The tournament kicked off Sunday morning, with Tortelini-e facing off against the Cold Callers on Copeley, while J’s and Confused took on the LLM NFTeam over at Park 6. The nine-seed Cold Callers pulled off their first upset of the tournament and advanced to the next round of play on a 7-3 win over Section E, while J’s and Confused cruised to an easy 10-5 victory over the LLM NFTeam. Unfortunately for Section J, they were knocked out in the next round by the three-seed BARbarians in a close 8-9 game. Meanwhile, I’s on the Ball eked out an 8-7 win over Public InDecency, only to follow in J’s and Confused’s footsteps by immediately getting eliminated from the tournament in their following game. While Section I’s clever—if a bit overly optimistic—chants of “We believe that I will win” sounded through the air at Copeley during their eventual 5-12 loss against Aiding & Abatting, over on the Park 6 field, Guilty as Charged stormed their way to an 11-1 victory over F for Final Judgment.

Pictured: 1L Section C, Champions of the 1L Softball Tournament.
Photo Credit: Sarah Walsh '23.

It wasn’t until the 1 p.m. game, however, that the tournament really began to pick up. After doing some team stretches, high knees, and jumping jacks, the Dandelion champion Habeas Scorepluses took the field to face off against the Cold Callers. Despite a rousing chant of “Go Hoes on three, Go Hoes on three! One, two, three, HOES!” before the start of the game, the one-seed Habeas Scorepluses found themselves in trouble almost immediately, as the Cold Callers took an early lead in the top of the first with a no-outs, three-run home run. Over the course of the next four innings, Section H fought their way back to come within one run of the Cold Callers, who—by the sounds of their heckles—had brought a megaphone to the game.[1] Unfortunately for Habeas Scoreplus, it wasn’t enough. With two outs and the score at 9-8 in the bottom of the final inning, Cold Callers co-captain Sam Quinan ’25 made a jumping catch to end the game and deny Section H the Triple Crown of Dandelion winner, best 1L section softball team name, and 1L Softball Tournament champion. With that, the once-top-seeded team of the tournament cleared the field, and the semifinals began.

The first semifinal game, featuring Aiding & Abatting versus the BARbarians, started at about the same time as the rain. While the drizzling rain added to the game’s atmosphere, the sudden lack of sun threatened to bring the mood down.[2] The BARbarians thankfully brought some much-needed energy, keeping up high spirits and chirping other players, even as they fell to Aiding & Abatting, 5-15.

Unfortunately, by the conclusion of the first semifinal game, Copeley was no longer playable. Rather than postpone the final two games of the tournament (after the tournament itself had already been moved from its originally scheduled date of September 25), it was decided that the second semifinal game would be moved to the turf fields down at the Park. Despite the difficulty presented by the change, both teams graciously pivoted to playing on the turf fields without complaint, and within minutes of arriving at the Park 5 field, the Cold Callers got warmups going with “Eye of the Tiger.”

The change of field didn’t appear to be a problem for the Cold Callers, who got off to a blazing start, thanks to a leadoff home run from C.J. Wittmann ’25. However, the team’s fortunes quickly reversed following two stunning plays by Section G co-captain Marie Ceske ’25, who recorded the first out of the inning when she made a deep lunge to snag a line drive that would have easily made it past a less-skilled player. A few hitters later, Ceske also got the final out of the half-inning with a lightning-fast stop of a ball coming straight for her chest, which she then cleanly threw to first base.

Whether it was the result of seeing the life of one of their classmates flash before their eyes, the slipperiness of the rain-soaked turf, or just the general difficulty that playing on the turf fields presents, the Cold Callers’ early lead was almost immediately erased as Guilty as Charged capitalized on deep hits to the outfield to send multiple runners home. As the first inning eventually drew to a close, it was announced that there would be another change of location, this time to the non-turf Park 6 field, which turned out to be playable, despite the rain (which was still going at the time, albeit significantly lighter than before).

Both teams gladly accepted the change, and the Cold Callers came roaring back in the top of the second inning with seven runs, many of them scored on two outs. Unwilling to go down without a fight, Guilty as Charged answered with more runs of their own, and by the end of the fifth inning, the score was tied at nine runs apiece. It was then—in the top of the sixth and down 1-2 in the count—that Wittmann launched a no-doubter over the Park 6 fence to put the Cold Callers in the lead. Guilty as Charged threatened to come back and defeat the Cold Callers in the bottom of the sixth, quickly scoring their tenth run and getting runners on second and third. With two outs, the winning run at the plate, and the tying run in scoring position, Quinan once again recorded the final out of the game—this time on a shallow infield fly—to preserve his team’s lead and send them to the tournament finals.

To give some perspective on what the Cold Callers were facing, here are some facts about the two teams that made it to the final game of the 1L Softball Tournament: Going into the tournament, Aiding & Abatting was 4-0 in the regular season, with a run differential of +42. In contrast, the Cold Callers were 1-3, with a run differential of +4 and their first win of the softball season coming less than forty-eight hours before their eventual tournament run. It was thus unsurprising when Aiding & Abatting held the Cold Callers scoreless in the first inning and got on the board first with six runs. However, the Cold Callers showed why they had made it this far in the tournament, immediately racking up six runs of their own to tie the game going into the bottom of the second inning. From then on, the two teams kept the score close—hitting three over-the-fence home runs along the way (two from Section C and one from Section A)—going into the sixth inning, where they were faced with a new problem: the sun setting.

Because the use of Park 6 this late in the day had been an impromptu decision, there was no expectation that the field’s lights would go on, and the game would thus have to end before daylight did. The neon yellow of the softballs can only do so much for visibility, so the sixth inning began with the understanding that it would almost certainly be the game’s last. Then, with Section A down two runs going into the bottom of the sixth, the grace of the softball gods shone down on Park 6, turning on the field lights and allowing the game to go a full seven innings. It was under these Sunday night lights that the Cold Callers pulled off their miracle victory, holding off the tournament favorites to win 14-11.

The ending of the tournament can only be described as cinematic: The second that the final out was recorded, players on the field jumped onto one another in celebration, and teammates streamed out of the dugout to join in the hugging and cheering, illuminated by the bright lights of the field as the rain came down around them. Head Umpire Sean Onwualu ’24 presented the team with their trophy and championship t-shirts, and the team posed for victory photos. When Wittmann, winner of the Phil Tonseth Memorial 1L MVP Award,[3] was asked how the team got to their victory, he credited the team’s talent and positive energy, saying that he knew from the start that the team was capable of winning it all in the tournament. Quinan closed things out with one final message on behalf of the team: “Shoutout to G.E. White.”

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saw8rc@virginia.edu

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[1] A move that I deeply respect and admire.

[2] An effect that was compounded by the fact that otherwise-excellent (and appropriate) walkup songs like “It’s Raining Men” couldn’t be played because they interfered with the umps’ abilities to discern whether or not they were actually hearing thunder off in the distance.

[3] Also known as the Tonseth Swagalicious Award, this is a Law Weekly-created award for the player who “balls out the most” in the 1L Softball Tournament. It should also be noted that Tonseth ’22  is not, in fact, dead.

Professor Discusses Marijuana with the Federalist Society

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Ethan Brown ‘25
Staff Editor

On October 6, the Federalist Society at the University of Virginia School of Law hosted Professor Jonathan Adler of Case Western Reserve University School of Law to discuss the legal status of marijuana in jurisdictions across the United States and offer a framework for how federalism should guide evolving discussion on the topic.

The event, which offered free Mellow Mushroom pizza to attendees, began with Professor Adler giving a brief overview of marijuana’s decriminalization and legalization in different states since the 1990s.[1] Since California first legalized marijuana for medicinal purposes in 1996, an additional thirty-six states and the District of Columbia have followed suit by permitting either recreational or medicinal marijuana usage. Of those, nineteen states and D.C. allow recreational marijuana. Professor Adler noted that the number of states permitting recreational use is likely to increase in the very near future, with both Maryland and South Dakota poised to potentially legalize recreational weed in referenda next month.

Despite shifts in public opinion suggesting rapid increases in the percentage of Americans who approve of legal weed, Professor Adler emphasized the central conflict inherent in modern marijuana legalization: The drug is still illegal for purposes of federal law. Federal illegality has far-reaching effects, especially in areas of banking, firearm background checks, and employment clearances.

Professor Adler said the tension between state and federal legality is, at times, volatile and messy.

“This situation is, in some respects, less stable, and certainly for those of us in the legal profession, more precarious . . . because even though there is not routine federal enforcement of marijuana laws, the mere fact that marijuana is illegal under federal law has far-reaching effects on other areas,” Professor Adler said.

Professor Adler pointed out two spheres—banking and legal counsel—where the federal prohibition of marijuana has impaired states’ ability to set up dispensaries within their borders. Any bank contact with transactions related to the sale or production of marijuana could be interpreted as supporting illegal activity in the eyes of the federal government; therefore, states have had to rely on local credit unions, which are not federally regulated, in order to finance the industry. This adds a significant obstacle to dispensaries and other marijuana-related businesses trying to set up shop, even in states with recreational usage.

Conflicting professional obligations for lawyers and other advisors also hinder these businesses’ operation. While lawyers are obviously able to counsel those convicted of a crime, they cannot advise their clients on how to engage in prospective illegal activity—and advising dispensary owners how to produce or sell marijuana would constitute an illegal act under federal law. This tension puts both sides—marijuana-related business owners and lawyers—in an uncomfortable position.

Besides ramifications for states as they attempt to implement legalization, Professor Adler also pointed to employment clearances as an area of concern for the drug’s continued federal illegality. Some people who used marijuana in legal jurisdictions have been surprised to see federal employment offers and security clearances affected by that usage, a phenomenon seen as high up as the White House.

“It’s still a question you get when you have a security clearance, as some would-be appointees to the current administration discovered, to their chagrin,” he said.

Professor Adler noted that there have been some steps towards a modest relaxation of the federal ban. In 2009, then-Deputy Attorney General David Ogden issued a memorandum clarifying the federal government’s decision to prioritize marijuana-related prosecutions involving drug trafficking and sales to children, and this memo was renewed throughout the Obama, Trump, and Biden administrations. Last year, a federal research grant for medical marijuana was granted, the first one since 1968.[2] And perhaps most significantly, the day of Professor Adler’s talk, President Biden announced a pardon of all prior federal offenses for simple possession of marijuana.[3]

 Still, these slow changes will not solve the tension between federal and state governments overnight. That task, Professor Adler said, can be tackled by employing principles of federalism.

“At the end of the day, I think federalism has a lot to offer us in marijuana policy, both in terms of allowing people to live under the laws that they want, but also in helping us learn what sorts of laws related to marijuana would make the most sense,” he said.

Professor Adler said one potential way for federal and state governments to coexist on marijuana is to treat the drug just like alcohol. He said that marijuana could be handled just as alcohol was at the end of Prohibition, when the federal government took itself out of the legalization process and instead opted to enforce boundaries between so-called “wet” and “dry” states that made their own independent decisions on legalization.

Ultimately, Professor Adler said that a federalist approach would empower states and local jurisdictions to experiment with different policies that work for their specific circumstances. Then, these lessons could be applied to other areas of the country or discarded in favor of more compatible policies. It would also give jurisdictions the opportunity to test ways of combating some of legalization’s possible ill effects, including minors’ increased access to the drug and potential risks to public safety.

“Part of the point of federalism is to allow jurisdictions to try things, and some of those things will be mistakes. But we learn from them, and we ultimately get better policy as a consequence.”

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

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[1] Kudos to the clever person who chose Mellow Mushroom—whose signature mushroom mascot looks high as hell—to cater an event about weed. (The decision to have pizza also fit the bit well).

[2]https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/05/30/1000867189/after-50-years-u-s-opens-the-door-to-more-cannabis-crops-for-scientists

[3]https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/10/06/statement-from-president-biden-on-marijuana-reform/

Remember Signing Up for Classes? Here's Some Tips from a 3L

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor

Scheduling classes is hard. It’s tough enough to use the lottery system, for everyone from 1Ls to 3Ls. That’s without mentioning trying to use the SIS system to build a calendar. In short, it is yet another complex hurdle on your path to stumbling towards your J.D. and a job that will definitely fill the hole in your heart where your parents’ love should be. Everyone has a different strategy, depending on their goals, but the wide range of classes available provide a scheduling quagmire that not even Daemon Targaryen could cut his way out of.[1] But no need to stress. If there is one thing that I am good at, it is advocating for finding the easy way out of law school—I refer you to almost anything I have ever written for this paper. So, it’s time to provide you with an easy cheat sheet of how to sign up for classes throughout law school.[2]

The first time any of us signed up for classes in law school was for Spring of 1L. So, to our dear 1L readers, I want to tell you this: You have more energy to study than you ever will for the remainder of law school. I recommend you sign up for as many credits as you possibly can during this round of scheduling. Get yourself up to seventeen or eighteen credits because you are on such a study high—you need to take advantage of it. You will reap the benefits for the next two years. Imagine having nothing but twelve-credit semesters for the rest of law school. Maximizing credits in your first spring semester is the One Ring to rule law school—you can stunt on everyone else and take it easy in the years to come.[3] Pausing on the jokes for a second, it is important to note that having less credits in 2L and 3L will help you focus on other things. This strategy would work for gunners, as well. Clinics may be listed as four credits, but as anyone (myself included) who has done one can tell you, they should be worth more. Extracurriculars and journals will become more demanding as you achieve leadership positions. Much more than that, this is a high-stress career and educational experience. Giving yourself some grace, and planning to give yourself a break, are crucial to surviving long-term.

Which leads me to 2Ls. To all of you, I say: Chill. Calm down. By the time you begin the classes you are signing up for now, you will be halfway through law school. You have worked so hard so far, and you need to give yourself the grace I was just talking about. Sign up for classes with professors you like. Most importantly, sign up for classes you are interested in. Law school is meant to provide you with an intellectually stimulating experience. Most of you came here because you had a genuine desire to learn about something in the law. I know you are all worried about whether you are learning things that will be applicable at your job this summer, but don’t think about that too hard. Being a summer associate is about learning to be at the firm. You will learn most bar subjects while studying for the bar, even if you took those classes. The vast majority of your training for work at a firm will occur while you are at the firm. All of you are in the year of working yourself the hardest for clerkships or public interest jobs, or pushing yourself hard for extracurriculars. I know you can’t take it particularly easy on those fronts, because no one in my class did. Just learn to be kind to yourself most of all.

And now to my fellow 3L degenerates. I don’t even know why I am writing this section. Most of you have already signed up for classes for the last time. We all have our strategies finalized by this time. I prefer to take any class that sounds great, while prioritizing the class timings to my comfort. Many of you sign up exclusively to take classes with your friends, which is another valid approach. I don’t feel particularly equipped to give any advice to 3Ls, but I guess this is for future years as well, so I will say this: This year is the last we have before we go out into the real world. For almost all of us, this is it: no more school. If any 1L or 2L reads this section, I want you to keep all of this in mind. Do what makes you happy this last semester. Focus on making memories that last forever—they will likely be what fuels you in the darkest days of our intense professional lives to come.

So that’s it. I signed up for my classes a few days ago. It’s just now hitting me how close I am to the end of law school, and I wanted to share some thoughts during my usual late-night writing session. Take it with a grain of salt. All of these are 1 a.m. ramblings from a person who spent their Sunday watching fantasy shows instead of doing their readings. But choosing your classes in a way that provides comfort can give you the opportunity to do the same without any fear that you might fall too far behind your classmates.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] Did I write this entire article to put one single House of the Dragon reference in… no, why would you say that?

[2] As a quick note, I will not be commenting on any professors. Come watch Libel or read the professor quotes section of this paper for content like that.

[3] Reference number two! Can’t show my bias of weekly fantasy shows. That Rings of Power finale was great, despite what Pi Praveen ’23 has to say about it.

A Return to Writing About TikTok

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor

Two years ago, I had my first front-page article in this newspaper, and it was—in a completely on-brand move—the most unserious thing I’ve ever written. And that is a high claim; I use this newspaper as my stream of consciousness every week, simply blathering about the newest pop culture events, my weekend plans, or whatever Law School event has occupied us now. In honor of that first article, I wanted to revisit TikTok as an app, a cultural touchstone, and the ultimate time waster.

When I first wrote about the app, I wrote the article as a pitch to all of you to join. I took advantage of the season and wrote about the excellent Halloween-based trends. I don’t have to do that now. With a lot of the old people gone,[1] there are plenty of you on the app already. It’s much easier to reference trends and not be shown blank faces in return. But in the time since then, the app has changed dramatically on the user side. You can now swipe right/left and switch between the For You Page (FYP) and Following feeds, rather than having to press a button. Notifications and messages are all centralized, and users can scroll past ads much more easily.

However, with the concerning rise of BeReal over the course of this semester, it is no surprise that people think there’s a new kid on the social media block.[2] And to that, I say, have you learned nothing from Meta, one of our four great overlords?[3] As of last week, TikTok introduced the “TikTok Now” feature, replacing the “Friends” tab. No one I know has used it yet, but that’s what I said about Instagram Stories years ago, and now all my followers can tell you that I am obsessed with the feature. So, I look forward to the time when the BeReal app gets bought and crushed so that I can see everyone’s “TikTok Now” posts.

My previous iteration of this article had only the lightest reference to the Law School, through the appeal at the end. But much like my mental health, my approach to article writing has absolutely improved in the last two years. Two years ago, I mentioned a dancing TikToker to all of you. This time, I point you all to @rebmasel, who produces delightfully real content about life as a real attorney, mixed with dramatic readings of hilarious court transcripts. If you instead want to consume a distilled daily explanation of pop culture legal issues, I recommend @the.law.says.what as an alternative. I will warn you, though, that the account is much like watching that annoying couple from your section seem like they are having much more fun being much more successful than you.

Beyond the legal side of the app, TikTok has changed over the last two years from being the home of many distinct communities to having a clear culture of its own. The trends set on the app tend to have many real-world impacts. Political campaigns have used content on the app to up their microtargeting of younger voters. Coverage of important social issues has tended to start or grow there. And the largest change has been the impact on the music industry. Rather than being a tool to increase virality of existing projects two years ago, songs are now made entirely to go viral on TikTok. Look no further than Charlie Puth’s upcoming album, “CHARLIE,” which was marketed almost entirely on the app, with the hit single “Light Switch” allegedly made on the app as well.[4] Truly, the app has gone from being a hub of parts of communities to a cultural touchstone.

With all that in mind, why did I write this article? Was it to stroke my massive ego and brag about how I predicted that this app would blow up? No.[5] Was it to make you all sit through another one of my pointless late-night ramblings? Never.[6] The truth is that I wrote this article for the same reason I wrote the last one, two years ago. I want anyone who isn’t on the app to get with the times. Even this year, there have been plenty of moments where people have been confused at some of my references. It’s been even worse with the plague of Instagram Reels—people see the memes, but three weeks late. I would like the student body and the professors to join in on the cultural event embodied by the app while it exists.[7] I just don’t want people to continue missing out on such fabulous works of art as the Miami Boys Choir.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] Also known as two classes graduating.

[2] Even I have been taken in.

[3] The other three are, of course, Amazon, Google, and Disney.

[4] I doubt this and think it is just a marketing ploy, despite my massive crush on the artist.

[5] Yes.

[6] Always.

[7] RIP Vine.

Beware of Leeches

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Caleb Stephens '23
Technology Editor

Why would I ever be attacked by a leech? Is this something to do with medicinal leeches? Do leeches hurt? All of these are questions I frequently hear whenever leeches come up in common conversation.

Much like a cold call, you never expect to find a leech.[1] It just kind of happens. I’ve had to deal with a lot of leeches over time, and it is something to which you can grow more accustomed. Honestly, I far prefer leeches over redbugs, ticks, or fleas (all semi-common occurrences if you live in the woods and have outdoor dogs). Leeches are easier to spot, less frequently in unfortunate locations, less likely to give you a disease, and much simpler to remove. You’re also far less likely to get a leech if you don’t go in water (although I hear there are land-dwelling leeches in some places, I’ve never experienced those, since I haven’t spent much time in jungle environments).

As a native North Floridian, I have had my share of time in the swamps, and I’ve had many encounters with leeches. Fortunately, most of the encounters were with baby leeches, which are only noticeable when you exit the water and see them. I’ve had a few full-size leeches too, and, while they hurt more (you’ll actually notice when they latch on, unlike the tiny ones), they’re still pretty easy to deal with. As temporary Virginians, most of you probably won’t have to deal with leeches, as I’ve never encountered one in mountain water. While they do live in Virginia, the existence of leeches should not deter you from entering nice cold mountain streams, as leeches tend to be relatively harmless denizens of the swamp.

If you do encounter a leech, the most important thing to remember is how to remove a leech once attached. You may think you know how to remove a leech, particularly if you’ve seen The African Queen.[2]However, unfortunately, the common knowledge is completely wrong. You absolutely do not apply salt, lemon, or heat. As much as applying any of those to a leech and watching it drop off, writhing in pain, sounds incredibly cool, it is not. If you try to stress a leech, they will throw up back into, well, you.[3] And the last thing you want is the entire contents of a leech’s stomach emptied into your bloodstream. This is the easiest way to accidentally wind up with an infection from a leech.[4] For a leech, you should remove it by taking something hard and flat, like a knife blade, credit card, or your fingernail, and gently scraping up under the small end of the leech. It will detach from your skin, and then reattach after a second. You then want to scrape under the large end of the leech, grab it, pull it the rest of the way off (the small end will not have finished adhering properly), and dispose of it.[5] This will keep a leech from vomiting into you and end your encounter with a leech.

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cs8ws@virginia.edu

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[1] Or the Spanish Inquisition

[2] Humphrey Bogart, Katharine Hepburn, and WWI Africa. Well worth a watch.

[3] https://www.cbc.ca/news/science/bloodsuckers-1.5361074

[4] This also applies to ticks, incidentally. Don’t try to burn them off.

[5] Or keep it, if that’s what you’re into. I hear you can get good prices for freshwater leeches in the herbal remedies market, but I take no responsibility for the legal ramifications of trying to sell a wild-caught leech.

Snakes Spotted at Darden, Absolutely No One Surprised

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Sarah Walsh '23
Staff Editor

Pictured: Snek.
Photo Credit: Humane Society of the United States.

At first glance, the news that snakes have recently been spotted on the stairs and sidewalk by Darden should be shocking to exactly zero people. After all, in the words of Dana Lake ’23, “That’s just what business students look like.” Of course there are snakes hanging out around Darden—that’s their home. However, it has recently come to the attention of the Law Weekly staff that the snakes spotted near Darden over the past couple weeks are, in fact, actual, literal snakes (copperheads, to be specific).

And yes, you read that correctly. Darden students have been aware of the snakes for weeks. And no one thought to tell the law students? No one thought, “Hey, maybe this could be important information to know for the people who walk past our school—and now potentially right into a snake’s path—every single day”? I’d say that I’m surprised by this appalling lack of empathy, but really, this is classic snake behavior and exactly what I would expect from the “students” at Darden.

Not only have the Darden students been aware of the snakes, but it has also been reported that one of the students has already chosen to participate in snake-on-snake violence.[1] The student’s weapon of choice? Exactly what you would expect from a business student—no, not a PowerPoint with a bunch of boxes and arrows on the slides and phrases like “process optimization,” although that’s a good guess. Instead, the man struck down his reptilian brethren with the other weapon preferred by business students everywhere: a golf club. And if you’re questioning why the man was locked and loaded with a golf club at the ready while at school, my only answer is: It’s Darden. Don’t question it—accept that that’s just how business students are and move on.

So, what should you do if you find yourself faced with a snake (copperhead or otherwise) in your path? Well, not what the Darden student did. According to both Jon Peterson ’23—the Law Weekly’s resident animal expert—and the Virginia Department of Wildlife Resources,[2] your best bet is to just leave the snake alone and get as far away from it as possible, just as you would if you suddenly encountered a Darden student. Do not try to kill the snake, since this actually increases your chances of being bitten. If you want, you can call a professional to relocate the snake to a safer location (although what location a snake could be safer at than a business school is still unknown).

Unfortunately, copperheads can be extremely difficult to see when they’re not vibing on a sidewalk or the stairs of Darden, thanks to their earth-toned coloring and the fact that they usually remain motionless for long periods of time. This means that it’s fairly easy to accidentally get too close to a copperhead, which may feel threatened and strike without warning, much like a Darden student when you ask them why we don’t just print more money. Another piece of unfortunate news: copperheads are venomous. Thankfully, the venom probably won’t kill you (unlike being forced to listen to a Darden student talk about their latest consulting project), but that doesn’t mean that you should wait to seek medical attention.

If you do get bitten, the most important thing for you to do is to get to the hospital as quickly as possible, either by calling a friend who can drive you, or—if there are any severe symptoms—911.[3] Whatever you do, do not drive yourself, and do not wait around to see if symptoms get worse, even if you think the snake that bit you is harmless. In the meantime, circle the bitten area and mark the time of the bite. If you don’t have a pen or marker on you, take a picture of the bite with your phone, since the photo will have a timestamp that emergency physicians can then use to measure the progression of symptoms. Remove any constrictive clothing and/or jewelry (such as rings or watches) in case of swelling. Make sure to stay as calm and still as possible, and keep the bitten area at or below heart level. If you can do so safely, take a picture of the snake that bit you. Contrary to popular belief, you should not bring the snake itself, whether dead or alive, since deceased snakes can still envenomate. Additionally, do not do any of the following: apply a tourniquet, try to suck the venom out, take aspirin or ibuprofen, or pack the extremity in ice.

At the end of the day, the number one thing to keep in mind regarding snakes is that if you leave them alone, they’ll generally leave you alone. Just try to stay on sidewalks and steer clear of Darden (which is what most people would instinctively do anyways), and you should be fine. But remember: Not all snakes at Darden slither.

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saw8rc@virginia.edu

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[1] I could have reached out to the snake-killer for comment, but that would have required speaking to a business student, and that’s something that I am simply not willing to do.

[2] https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2022/05/31/snakes-copperheads-safety-treatment/

[3] For more advice on what to do if bitten by a snake, see https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/snake-bites and https://www.brgeneral.org/news-blog/2022/april/snake-bite-dos-and-don-ts/.

The Bear Necessities: The Dos and Don'ts of Bears

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Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Co-Executive Editor

Pictured: A Grizzly Bear.
Photo Credit: People.com

Bears are one of the most widespread and successful animals on the planet. Inhabiting North America, South America, Europe, Asia, and the North Pole, the lifestyles of different species of bears vary widely. And, while some bears are more successful than others,[1] all species of bears have managed to carve out a niche in their environments.

Most bears are omnivorous. However, there are exceptions to that general rule. Giant pandas, native to China, are herbivorous. Polar bears eat almost exclusively meat, making them the only carnivorous bears.[2] Still, most bears are lucky to enjoy a mixed diet, engaging in both foraging and hunting.

Bears have an incredible array of traits which make them specially suited to this lifestyle. Being generally beefy creatures, bears often have little to worry about except for other bears.[3] Armed with massive teeth and claws, there is simply little that can stand up to even a subadult bear.[4] Add to this the fact that grizzly bears can run at an astonishing thirty-five to forty miles per hour, and you can see why they are so successful. Further, a bear’s sense of smell is seven times stronger than a bloodhound’s—or 2,100 times that of a human.

To cap this all off, bears are incredibly intelligent creatures. Historic accounts from Inuit hunters told of polar bears hurling chunks of ice to take down walruses that the bears would otherwise have been incapable of hunting. These accounts were largely ignored. However, recent research has shown a lot of anecdotal evidence in support of these claims. Particularly of interest is the story of a captive polar bear. The bear, GoGo, was faced with the problem of an out-of-reach food source. “The bear independently refined a technique of using toys as tools including piping, logs, and a ball by throwing them like a basketball to knock the meat down.”[5] If they weren’t scary enough, it turns out that Planet of the Bears might not be too far off.

Suffice it to say, bears are incredible creatures. Their speed, size, sensory abilities, and intelligence make them formidable and admirable creatures. So, should one be worried if they encounter a bear?

The answer, unfortunately, isn’t a simple “yes” or “no.” The first thing you need to know when asking yourself that question is what type of bear you’ve come across. Different bear species react differently to people. In this article, I will discuss the limited types of bears that one might encounter in and around North America: black bears and grizzly bears.

Black bears are widely distributed across North America. In fact, Shenandoah National Park is one of the most black-bear-rich areas in the world. So, should you be worried if you encounter one? 

Generally, no. Smaller than the grizzlies of the West Coast, black bears are generally quite afraid of people, and would much rather run from you than attack. However, there are known instances of black bears actively hunting people. Further, as many know, there is little that is more dangerous than a mother bear near her cubs. If a bear starts to exhibit threatening behavior, first, you should not attempt to appear threatening in response. Do your best to back away calmly from the bear. Ideally, you will have bear spray. If not, stay calm, do not run, and retreat to a safe place.

If a black bear does attack, you have no choice but to fight back. This is imperative. Black bears, unlike grizzlies, often don’t have the sole goal of killing you, but also of later eating you. That is the main difference between the two; grizzlies will attack solely to remove someone from their space, while black bears are often looking for dinner.

So, if a black bear attacks, fight. If a grizzly attacks, it’s the exact opposite. Lay down on your stomach and cover the back of your neck. Wait it out. Once the bear has left, despite your best instincts, continue to wait. Count to 1,000. Then go. There are accounts of individuals who, after being attacked, later ran into the same bear, which then attacked them again, starting the whole process over.[6]

Most importantly, don’t be dumb. Stay away from bears. They are beautiful and interesting creatures—from a distance. Bears becoming habituated to humans is a source of problems for both bears and humans. Humans (and their vehicles and homes) may be seen as food sources, making them a target. Bears that do this frequently may become “problem bears,” requiring either relocation or even euthanasia.

So, if you see a bear, there’s reason to be excited. They’re cool. But be cautious. And take pictures—that’s the best way to make memories with wild animals.

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

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[1] The difference between pandas and grizzlies exemplifies this. One is a ferocious tank that can eat anything. The other munches on bamboo and behaves like a doofus.

[2] A noticeable lack of vegetation leaves animals living on the poles with little choice in the matter.

[3] One exception to this is in the case of sloth bears, which share territory with bengal tigers. While fights are rare, the bears often lose when attacked.

[4] Subadult bears are bears which, while independent from their mother, are not yet sexually mature.

[5] https://www.iflscience.com/polar-bears-may-use-ice-blocks-as-tools-to-bonk-unsuspecting-walruses-on-the-head-60538

[6] Blue Ridge Outdoors, Man Attacked Twice by Same Grizzly Bear, Lives to Post Facebook Video, https://www.blueridgeoutdoors.com/go-outside/man-attacked-twice-grizzly-bear-lives-post-facebook-video/.

Farewell to Fauxfield: A 3L Gives a Surprisingly Earnest Review

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor

This past Saturday, a majority of the Law School student body came together to participate in the years-long tradition of Fauxfield.[1] With no Foxfield this year, it may seem odd to many 1Ls to have this event. Many of them likely have no idea what it even is. To them, the person in the horse costume at the event must have been even more confusing than it was to me.[2] To all of those students who don’t read their SBA emails (you should; they are very informative), Fauxfield is a replacement event for the Foxfield event because one year, Foxfield was on the weekend of fall break. Since Foxfield is a day-drinking event at a race track—where all the people wear pastels and look fancy—Fauxfield is intended to be a day-drinking event where people dress fancy as well. Except the latter event is held at the most distinguished of locations: Crozet Pizza at Buddhist Biker Bar.

Pictured: Cara Capoccitti, Sammy Spindler, & Paige Kennett '23.
Photo Credit: Sai Kulkarni '23.

The 1Ls, despite having no experience with the real event, really took it to heart and showed up dressed to impress. I am proud of all of them for once again being gunners for absolutely no reason at all and showing off in the rain. To embody how much of a slog 2L is, a few members of the Class of 2024 took it upon themselves to make and wear shirts proudly declaring their “Flop Era.” Meanwhile, myself and all of my 3L girlies took it upon ourselves to aim for comfort and beauty wrapped into one, boldly embodying the idea that trying at all during 3L is an actual crime. The rain limited everyone’s ability to show off, but not everyone let that put a damper on their spirits. I mentioned the horse costume, but all of the hats I saw were just as entertaining. There truly was a range of fashion that would be appreciated in Paris this week.

We were all presented with a rapidly disappearing and rapidly replenishing stock of pizza as the misfortunate chefs at Crozet had to keep up with the ravenous appetites of hundreds of drunk law students just trying not to pass out from hunger. The jello shots ran out quickly as everyone tried to speedrun their way to feeling like an undergrad again.[3] But for once, the lines weren’t too long, and we weren’t surrounded by seventeen-year-olds as we all took advantage of the fact that we had the bar for a private event for once. SBA and the bar did a good job with the tents, and people weren’t nearly as soaked as they were at last spring’s 3@3, even though the rain never stopped. People seemed in relatively high spirits throughout the day, despite not being able to enjoy all of the outdoor real estate.

There was a semi-official afterparty at Boylan Heights, as everyone tried to keep the energy going with some football and burgers. Though we took over the entire first floor of that bar, it was clear that the energy had dwindled by the time we got there. Despite our best efforts, it was apparent that no matter how often we went to undergrad bars, we really were starting to get old.

At the end of the day, it was truly an enjoyable day-long event. I don’t like to get sentimental much on this paper,[4] but I really did appreciate the chance to see so many people from the Law School in one place. As attendance at Bar Review begins to dwindle, with 1Ls learning what outlines are, 2Ls becoming hermits in pursuit of clerkships, and 3Ls throwing in the towel, such events are going to get rarer throughout the semester. As a 3L, it’s becoming increasingly clear how close to the end of Law School I am getting. So after every event like this, I want to implore all the 1Ls and 2Ls who didn’t go, to give these things a try. Drinking may not be your thing, and that is totally understandable. But don’t let these events and chances to socialize with your class slip away from you. I truly made some lifelong friends at the Law School, and going to these events really solidified those relationships. Don’t miss out on this in the next year or two years, because I promise, you will regret it. Otherwise, you might be the only person who graduates without hearing or seeing the real blockbuster stories, like a 3L falling off the roof of the bar with everyone watching.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] How many years? I don’t know. What am I, a reporter?

[2] No, I didn’t scream because I thought it was a hallucination; how could you possibly think that?

[3] Despite us trying to do that every weekend at Bar Review.

[4] That’s what my text messages with every person I know after 9 p.m. are for.

Assassins: Week One Recap

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

Two weeks ago, a mysterious group, the enigmatic “Spies Justicars,” announced the start of a game of Assassins open to all members of the Law School. While some critics questioned if a supposedly “serious” professional school is the right venue for a game typically played in high school, there was overwhelming support for the juvenile game throughout the Law School classes. With roughly 150 students participating, and no cease-and-desist sent by Student Affairs (yet), Assassins has been a success so far.

Interested in finding out more about the game and getting the scoop on some of the most dramatic kills so far, I began the arduous journey of meeting with the secretive group behind the game. After sending several emails using the only known contact info of the Spies Justicars, I received a response in the form of a letter tied to a knife in my front door one frigid morning. After completing several dangerous trials, I came face-to-face with the spokesperson of the Justicars, who was able to give me the tidbits of information I had been looking for.

 So far, the game has gone fairly smoothly, with a shocking lack of rule appeals from law students and most people (we assume) reporting their kills in a timely manner. Many of the initial kills came from the 1Ls, who, with their public schedules and general enthusiasm for life, butchered each other the first week. Unsurprisingly, the 3Ls have also excelled at killing one another, though this is more due to the class’s burning hatred for each other, rather than a desire to collectively do something as a class. The 2Ls have lagged far behind either of the other classes, possibly due to many of them now having firm offers and not putting the effort in to come to school. Or it might be because they didn’t read the instructions and aren’t reporting their kills and should get on that.

While most of the performances so far were described by the Justicar spokesperson as “laughable,” one assassin in particular has stood out. Makenna Cherry ’23 was able to get six kills in a single day, demonstrating a level of bloodlust that impressed the otherwise stoic entity. It is unlikely that anyone will be able to top the single-day record in this iteration of Assassins, but the ancient Justicars do intend to run the game in the spring, if it continues going well.

With my last question before being escorted out of the Justicars’ subterranean headquarters, I asked them: Why are you doing this? Why run this game? Their leader, otherwise silent for the entire meeting, rose from his marble throne to simply say, “Because it is fun.”

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

VJIL Fall Semester Kickoff

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Monica Sandu '24
Co-Executive Editor

This past Thursday marked the fall kickoff event for the Virginia Journal of International Law at Random Row. Truly, it was a momentous occasion, unparalleled by any other event at the Law School.[1] After a summer entirely online, it was refreshing to finally sit face-to-face with my fellow journal members and have a drink as we shared our recent tales of joy and woe. Most of all, I never pass up an opportunity for free pizza.[2]

This being my first time going to Random Row, I didn’t know what to expect—or even how to get there. The event started at 6 p.m., so, naturally, I left my home at 6:20.[3] “How can there be this many people out partying on Thursday evening?” I thought to myself as I passed the Corner on my way to go out partying on Thursday evening. I had put in the address in my GPS, but I was still caught off guard as I drove past the Dairy Market and was thrown into the wilds of Charlottesville. In my mind, I had confused Random Row with Kardinal Hall (an understandable mistake, really) and needed a few seconds to reorient myself.

The evening was windy, as I’m sure those of you who went to Carter Mountain can attest to, and I found myself surprised by the slight coolness in the air. No matter how many times I go through it, I’m somehow always caught off guard by the changing of the seasons. The pumpkin spice coffee creamer in my fridge notwithstanding, I’m never ready for fall. This time of year is busy.[4] I refuse to listen to people who try to tell me that the Fall Equinox has happened (on the same day as the kickoff, apparently) and that the days are only getting shorter from here. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. I already have a class that ends at 5:40 p.m.—I’m not looking forward to the time of year when it’s dark by the time I go home. However, there was no darkness in the room that evening. It was nice to take a night off, while simultaneously justifying it to myself as a responsible and productive academic event. 

After getting a nametag, I made a beeline for the pizza. Having free food at events is always wonderful because it ensures that you always have some excuse to avoid filling awkward silences, as well as something to keep you busy, so you don’t just stand around waiting for someone you know. I myself took part in the time-honored tradition of standing politely on the edge of a circle of people and pretending to follow along with the conversation. Soon afterwards, the evening became a game of “I didn’t know that person was on VJIL!” followed by “Is it socially acceptable to go say ‘hi’ to them?”

Thankfully, I was able to latch on to someone I knew and join her group at their table, which was a fantastic way to meet people while not feeling overwhelmed by my newbie status. Soon, we were deep in conversation about the quirks of different languages and our thoughts on local restaurants. I got to catch up with old friends and make new ones. When asked for a comment, one member said, “I’m so glad to be a 2L. It’s so much better to be able to choose my own classes and to not be a 1L. Wait, is this anonymous?”[5]

One of the televisions at the bar was even playing Jeopardy, which was an unexpected, but quite welcome, surprise. However, the highlight of my evening had to be the lavender lemon kombucha they served. It was sparkling, not too sweet, and full of flavor, and it paired extremely well with the crispy and savory pizza. It also helped that I hadn’t had lunch that day. You have to make the system work for you—just fill up on the free stuff!

At some point, I can only say, “We went to a brewery and ate pizza” in so many words.[6] Overall, it was a relaxing, chill evening where I got to meet some of the many interesting and accomplished people who make up VJIL.

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ms7mn@virginia.edu

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[1] Have no fear, dear 1Ls. In the spring, you, too, will get to experience the joy that is journal tryouts.

[2] I can neither confirm nor deny that this is also the reason why I joined the Law Weekly.

[3] Never let it be said that I don’t have impeccable time management skills.

[4] I mean, law school is never not busy, but you get my point.

[5] These comments are a statement of opinion and do not reflect VJIL’s position or views about 1Ls.

[6] And I’m trying to hit a word count here.

Prospective Players Partake in Pickleball Popularity

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Jack Brown '23
Sports Editor

Sarah Walsh '23
Staff Editor

Pickleball Fever has officially overtaken Charlottesville. The sport entered its inaugural season at the Law School at the beginning of this semester and, as of the time of this article’s writing, has already amassed ninety-eight members in its dedicated GroupMe. To learn more about this push in pickleball popularity, we spoke with Lauralei Singsank ’24 over the phone as she drove down to Myrtle Beach for—fittingly enough—a pickleball tournament.

When we asked Singsank what she believes is driving the insane growth of pickleball—both at UVA and nationally—her answers all centered around one central theme: the sport’s accessibility. Pickleball is similar to tennis, a sport that many of us are already familiar with, but its learning curve is significantly less steep. It’s also a relatively cheap sport to pick up (players only need paddles, a ball,[1] and somewhere with a net), and pickup games are incredibly easy to arrange, thanks to the minimal equipment needed and the low number of players required to get a game started.

The authors’ helpful and incredibly patient pickleball instructors/playing partners, Jackson Grubbe ’23, Jon Peterson ’23, Landon Garfinkel ’24, and Parker Kelly ’23. Photo Credit: Laura Lowry ’23

Inspired by our interview with the Law School’s most dedicated pickleball advocate, we decided to finally show up to one of the weekly sessions that our friends would not shut up about. Getting to the court bright and early (if 10 a.m. counts as “early”), the group soon sorted itself, with the more advanced players starting their own game on one court while we were schooled on the rules of pickleball on another. All in all, it didn’t take long for us to get the hang of the rules (partially thanks to our past experiences playing tennis) and the basic strategy of the game.

Once we were able to get into a real game, the appeal of the sport became obvious. As promised by Singsank, the learning curve was very forgiving, and, by the end of the first hour, both of us felt like we could play the game. And it's a really fun game. Even the most routine play fills you with satisfaction, and the game is paced perfectly, with every frantic point followed by a moment of peace as you get yourself ready for the next rally.

On top of how much fun the game is to play, there is an additional dimension of enjoyment that comes from playing doubles, where you get to experience the epic highs and lows of Law School pickleball with one of your friends. Having a partner gives you someone who will cheer you on after each play and who is there for you to give some encouragement when the point doesn’t go your way. And really, nothing beats a paddle tap with your partner as you switch sides after a particularly hard-won point. As our generation grapples with an unprecedented loneliness epidemic, sometimes it's nice to know that someone is there for you, even if it’s just for a few minutes early in the morning.

So, what should a prospective player do if they’re looking to enter the Law School pickleball scene? Step number one is getting yourself added to the School’s pickleball GroupMe, either by asking someone who is already in the GroupMe—chances are solid that you know someone who is—or by contacting Singsank herself. You can also simply show up to play on Sundays at 9 a.m.[2] While the Law School pickleball crew usually plays at the Snyder courts (the tennis courts near Main Grounds, right next to the sand courts and Memorial Gym) at that time, when those courts are occupied, the pickleballers will play at Darden-Towe instead, which is why it’s good to get into the GroupMe—you’ll probably want a heads up if the pickleball location has changed before you head out bright and early on Sunday morning.

Players don’t need to worry about having any experience, and more often than not, there will be extra equipment (paddles, balls) available to use. Whatever you do, DO NOT get a wooden pickleball paddle. Singsank stressed how much it is not worth it for a beginner player to splurge on a non-plastic paddle, and we both believe her and want to pass that wisdom on to you all, the readers. If new players are worried about not knowing what they’re doing once they show up to play, fear not: Singsank is more than happy to show beginners the ropes, either at the Sunday games or individually. Additionally, as in our own 10 a.m. pickup game, Sunday players are sorted by skill level, so new players won’t have to worry about being required to face off against pro-level competitors.

While nothing can ever truly replace softball in the Law School’s heart, we do hope that readers will give pickleball a shot (if they haven’t already), and maybe we’ll see you out on the courts.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu
saw8rc@virginia.edu

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[1] Or, if you’re like us, friends with paddles and a ball.

[2] This might seem like an early playing time, especially on a weekend, but Singsank mentioned to us how the time used to be 8 a.m. on Sundays, so 9 a.m. is a big step up.

Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum: Rings of Power vs. House of the Dragon

In the Law Weekly office, controversies result in pointless disagreement between two equally unimportant editors. These are their arguments. *dum dum!*

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Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Co-Executive Editor

Rings of Power

As a fan of both series, I feel that it’s important that I begin by saying that this is not an argument that Rings of Power is downright better as a series. I rarely take nuanced stances (both in life and in art), but a comparison of the two shows calls for such a stance.

Rings of Power is neither Game of Thrones nor House of the Dragon, and people seem to forget that quite often. Tolkien did not write with the intention of creating an intense political drama. Tolkien’s writings are much closer to true fantasy—he strives to depict the ebb and flow of the forces of good and evil. I believe this is a large reason why people scoff at Rings of Power; they want nuance, intrigue, and surprise, but Rings of Power is likely not going to deliver that, at least not in the way they have come to expect. Game of Thronesand House of the Dragon excel at creating characters who exist in shades of gray; this is how fan engagement is driven in the show. There is, for many characters, a reason to both love and hate them at any given time. Put simply, the series has done an incredible job of depicting humanity. This simply isn’t the case for many of Tolkien’s characters.[1] Characters are good or bad, with few falling in between. And those that do are typically humans who have been corrupted by some external force of evil—not their own moral failings.

All this to say, the two shows are different. To compare them in the same way, to ask for the same style of storytelling from either, would be to expect the showrunners of either show to completely ignore the spirit of either world. And Rings of Power certainly has been capturing the feel of Tolkien’s world, whether viewers with tastes modernized after the two decades since The Lord of the Rings enjoy it or not.

While House of the Dragon will inevitably capture the attention of more viewers due to its ruthless depiction of humanity,[2] Rings of Power will do something different. Rings of Power will depict a story which, while seemingly hopeless at times, ultimately will end in the forces of good prevailing. This somewhat dated motif is, perhaps, exactly what we need a little bit more of in the world these days. If Rings of Power can continue to pull it off (and hopefully improve on what has thus far been about a seven-out-of-ten), it may be just what viewers need.

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

House of the Dragon

I am going to be real, I have not watched a single episode of Rings of Power, and I don’t have any intention of doing so. I’m a busy guy—I have one more year of freedom before Big Law comes to collect, and I intend to make the most of what time I have left. So I only have time for one big-budget fantasy series to watch, and of the two going on right now, House of the Dragon is the clear number one show for the law student with not a lot of time on their hands.

First, we know that Game of Thrones works for television. Despite its less-than-ideal ending, George R.R. Martin’s world made for four to six-and-a-half amazing seasons of television.[3] I have no idea how Tolkien’s world will look on my laptop on a weekly basis, and I don’t intend to take the risk that my time might be wasted trying to figure it out.

Secondly, I am a jaded law student. I don’t believe in things like “impartiality” or “good and evil” or “original meaning” anymore. How can I enjoy Tolkien’s work, with its absolute evils that can be vanquished by a scrappy, idealistic group of heroes? No, as a modern media consumer, I want my nihilism reinforced by a show that tells me, “Hey, we’re all pretty bad, so it’s okay to take that Big Law paycheck, my guy.”

And finally, the biggest argument for why House of the Dragon is clearly the superior show is the fact that Matt Smith is in it. Matt Smith, a man blessed with a comically large jawline, an even bigger ego, and a level of talent that dwarfs every other characteristic that one could associate with him. A man so great that he was the youngest person to ever play Doctor Who, brought Patrick Bateman to the stage, was the villain in Morbius, and was actually pretty good in a movie otherwise devoid of redeeming qualities.

Now, we are blessed with the chance to see him play Daemon Targaryen in all of his insane, incest-y idiosyncraticness. We are only at the halfway point in the show, and I can guarantee you, you will see Daemon do things that you’ve never seen on a major show before (and will probably never see again). Getting that, on top of all the other delightfully unsympathetic but still seemingly rational characters, is all anyone could ask for. 

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu
jwb4bb@virginia.edu

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[1] Many of whom are simply not even human.

[2] During a time when many people’s faith in humanity has been shattered.

[3] How many seasons of Game of Thrones were good will vary wildly, depending on when you started watching the show, if you had read the books, and how much of a contrarian you want to be, because Season Five was still great, and I will stab anyone who tries to tell me otherwise.