Barristers United Match Report: September 25, 2022

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

This week’s Barristers match was one of the most anticipated of the season, as the team squared off with one of its perpetual rivals, the incorrectly named “Champion FC,” in what many pundits saw as a faceoff between the two strongest squads in the league. Spirits were high with a 1 p.m. kickoff time, with team captain Aziz Rashidzada ’23 instructing the squad to stay cool, calm, and collegial out on the field, no matter what Champion FC did to try to get under our skin.

Barristers was able to execute this plan to perfection with a comfortable win, even though the final score line of 1-0 might make a less informed reader think the game was a close affair. It took less than five minutes for Barristers to take the lead, thanks to a clinical finish by Seth Coven ’25, who was able to capitalize on a deflection to open his Barristers account in a crucial game. This goal, and a highlight run a few minutes later, would be the peak of his game experience, as a slight hamstring pull and getting stung by a wasp ended his day a little bit early. The physical staff expect to clear him to play next week.

After some back-and-forth play, Barristers took control of the game, with Champion FC looking mesmerized by the Barristers’ possession. A midfield triangle of Zack Pierce ’24, Jacob Baltzegar ’24, and Kathryn Peters ’24 dominated the game and helped force Champion FC to try and play their wingers in and behind with long balls, since they couldn’t get anything going in the middle of the pitch.

The few times Champion FC was able to keep hold of the ball long enough to mount an attack, they were smothered by one of the most complete backlines I have ever seen in my decades-long career. At the center of the defense is the ever dependable Tom Schnoor ’23, who is looking to add yet another trophy to his impressive collection before hanging up his Barristers jersey.

Joining him in the back was a collection of players that Barristers fans might not be as familiar with. Highly touted youth product Sir Thomas Cerja IV ’24 impressed with his play down the right side, while a trio of 1Ls, Zach Zamoff ’25, Elena Murray ’25, and Cam DiGiovanni ’25, dominated the entire game. During the preseason, there were concerns about the lack of defensive depth from the Barristers, but the Class of 2025 has more than stepped up already to fill that void. Credit has to be given to both the scouting department and developmental staff for—year in and year out—bringing talent to Charlottesville.

All in all, it was a comfortable game where the Barristers were unlucky to not get on the score sheet more. While last week’s explosive performance showed that the squad has the potential to score at will, so far it has been their defense that has truly impressed. Tune back in next week, as the Barristers have a rematch against ENNSA, the team they walloped 7-0 last week.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

Introduction to Employer Interactions for KJDs

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Garrett Coleman ‘25
Staff Editor

This past Wednesday, the Office of Private Practice graciously brought many 1Ls up to speed on that most pressing of issues: how to interact with employers. From my perspective, my fellow KJDs and I had the most to gain from this primer on how to talk to people outside of a classroom.

First among the issues was the tone with which you address these potential employers. Unfortunately, helpful phrases such as “at your earliest convenience” betray the perception that you care about the employer’s time. Rather than make it obvious that all you want in life is to pay off your loans, the audience learned that employer interactions are a delicate tango of flattery. Ask them questions they know how to answer. Respond promptly to any communications from them. Do not further burden them with work of any sort. Never negotiate salary until at least the third interview. This frame of mind, in which you briefly sacrifice your interests to ease the employer’s workload, is absolutely necessary.

Closely related to this is the process of networking. When meeting with or calling  attorneys to learn about how fulfilling—or lucrative—their careers are, it is critical to do your research beforehand. Know their alma maters, if and for whom they clerked, and where they are from so that you can ruthlessly exploit any similarities. Further, quality over quantity is the name of the game. Bragging about your incredibly high firm count will not do nearly as much good as the student who takes the time to forge genuine relationships with his contacts. But beware, networking can be overdone, to your detriment. Do not inundate the firms with communication or stalk every event in their calendar. Demonstrate your interest in a professional way and let the process take shape.

Much of the talk centered around large, campus-wide events, such as On Grounds Interviews (OGI) and the Firm Mix & Mingle coming this October. First on the To-Do List is crafting a short narrative statement in which you can quickly explain to a recruiter why you came to law school, for reasons other than softball. I initially feared that my philosophy major and subsequent lack of confidence in the job market were insufficient. But Kevin Donovan was sure to assuage similarly situated students that they must have some story to tell, or else they would not be walking these Grounds. He also explained how Career Services is available to help every student craft that narrative, and that their questions merely pull out the special characteristics of every UVA Law student.

Another revelatory aspect of this part of the presentation was the physical nature of events such as OGI, especially considering that many KJDs have basked in the comfort of virtual interviews and internships. Here are a few ground rules: (1) Do not eat messy food; (2) You may have one drink only; (3) Your left hand must not enter the handshake process; (4) Be persistent in getting your body into the carnivorous circles that form around recruiters; (5) Always help your classmates as they attempt to do the same. This process is further complicated by a reality described by OPP: “A lot of attorneys are awkward.” In many ways, this puts the onus on the UVA Law student to adapt her behavior to accommodate that attorney who would rather be reading in a hermitage.

When events do not take place in person, though, some additional rules of etiquette are introduced in exchange for you not having to wear pants. Your Zoom background needs to be clean and hide the fact that you stopped doing the dishes when your readings picked up. OPP explained how you should have notifications disabled, so as to give all your attention to the employer at hand. Your artistic goal in these settings should be to make the interaction as real as possible, letting your charm and good looks flow through the camera as they do in Spies Garden.

Lastly, strategies for the follow-up period were laid out. For those special someone attorneys that you really connected with in the speed-dating round, a personalized “thank you” email is a must. This, of course, should be formal in nature, filled to the brim with complete sentences, and able to actually demonstrate that you can differentiate that conversation from the dozens of others you had at OGI. Also, Lauren Parker explained how, for some older recipients and judges, paper “thank you” notes may be appropriate and add an additional touch of appreciation. Upon further research, I believe that these “paper thank you notes” refer to ancient English common law writs, used when lords and ladies found emails discourteous.

I am quite certain that the prospects of my fellow KJDs and I were greatly improved by this thorough and engaging presentation on interacting with employers.

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jxu6ad@virginia.edu

Governor Demonizes Children

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor

If things have gotten to the point that I, of all the people on this newspaper, have to talk about a serious issue, it has gotten bad. I don’t enjoy talking seriously on this paper for the sole reason that it is my escape. I hope to provide that for some of you with my humor. But right now, I am pissed. Straight up pissed. Very few people have seen me genuinely angry, and this subject has elicited that from me. So, now to the point. We are politically divided as a school and as a country. I wish I could say the one thing we can agree on is that protecting school kids should be our first priority. But it has become increasingly clear that this is not the case. This week’s proof of this comes from the self-titled “moderate” Governor of Virginia, Glenn Youngkin. In his latest action, he has spit on the progress his predecessor made for no reason but to be cruel.

In the latest “Model Policies” from the Virginia Department of Education, Governor Youngkin set clear boundaries.[1] All students must use the locker rooms, restrooms, and facilities of their assigned sex at birth. Teachers are only able to refer to students by the pronouns associated with their assigned sex at birth. Legal name and sex can’t be changed through parental consent forms, only through a court order. But guess what? Teachers don’t have to call students who go through that process by their preferred name if they feel it would violate their “constitutionally protected rights.” What absolute bullshit in a policy.

In what world does someone think that legislating or regulating young children’s bathroom usage is a good use of their time? Only 5 percent of the adult population is trans or nonbinary.[2] Five percent. Does anyone think that this percentage is significantly higher among youth? Governor Youngkin and his cronies really want to demonize this 5 percent? Cis people cannot begin to understand the pain of living in a body that doesn’t fit who they are or of complying with rules of gender presentation that are just wrong to them. So, there’s internal pain, and there’s also external pain. Here’s the thing: Kids are already cruel to one another. Bullying is everywhere, and creating in- and out-groups is how we all survived in grade/high school. These kids have it hard enough. Period, end of sentence. They are probably feeling ostracized, and this set of executive actions won’t make that any easier.

These kids are so brave to come out before they are out of the home and the K-12 system. They are so strong; certainly stronger than me. My heart hurts for these kids. But do you know what the worst part is? The regulation regarding names. Names are so personal. It is your identity, how you introduce yourself, and part of how you define yourself. And the dumbest part is: None of you, my professors, or ANY of my friends since I was fourteen have called me by my legal name. It was so easy; I said, “Actually, I go by Sai” when called on during attendance checks, I introduced myself as Sai, and that’s the name I write under. It’s so easy, no one even thought twice. To have so many hoops for these kids to go through to get that same recognition from some teachers who have malice in their hearts because these kids are out is ridiculous. And beyond that, they may not even get that recognition after jumping through all of those hoops because it could “violate a teacher’s constitutional rights”? Give me a break. Let’s be real here—it’s so-called religious liberty interests. So, point me to the passage in the Torah, Bible, Qur’an, Gita, or any other holy book where the demonization of children is sanctioned! You can’t, because all these holy books preach protection of the innocent.

I’m not trying to get on some religious soapbox here, because I’m not nearly smart enough for that. But at the end of the day, so many of my most religious friends were able to accept a new trans girl in their midst recently, without batting an eye.[3] I only wish that these kids get that support, too—now or soon. So much cruelty abound in this policy. Here’s the legal argument to tie it to the Law School: This regulation could possibly be disputed under the Virginia Human Rights Act. There is a public comment period that will become available later this month.[4] But all of that is not my point here. I am focused on the fact that this policy exists in the first place. I have seen in the last month that people in this state, including devout conservatives, have been able to accept a newly out trans person in their midst without losing a step. My only hope is that by shining a light on this issue here in Virginia, there can be some degree of understanding about the hundreds of miles left to be tread on the issue. It’s policies like this that will keep more kids in the closet for longer. And it helps no one for a kid to be hiding who they truly are for ten or more years before they let themselves be free.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] The main source in this article is the following NPR link. This is not a law review article; I won’t cite every claim individually, when most of them come from here. https://www.npr.org/2022/09/18/1123697784/virginia-transgender-students-public-schools-glenn-youngkin

[2] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2022/06/07/about-5-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-say-their-gender-is-different-from-their-sex-assigned-at-birth/

[3] And that love is felt every day.

[4] Found here: https://townhall.virginia.gov/L/Forums.cfm.

Ranking 1L Section Softball Team Names

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Sarah Walsh '23
Staff Editor

What’s in a name? Well, if it’s the name of a 1L section softball team, ideally the following: (1) a legal (or generally law-adjacent) pun, (2) a softball/sports pun, and (3) use of the section’s letter. These are the primary criteria that I will be using to rank the names of the 1L (and LL.M.) section softball teams. However, because these are Law School softball teams—and as we all know, there’s nothing the law loves more than being unnecessarily complicated—I will also be factoring in more subjective criteria, like (4) creativity and (5) “team naminess”[1] (basically, how closely the team’s name follows the traditional sports team naming format of “The [Noun]s” or, if you really want to get wild, “The [Adjective/Adverb] [Noun]s”).[2] Now, let’s get into the rankings.

First: Habeas Scoreplus (Section H)

Congratulations to Section H, winners of Dandelion and this team name ranking system! The name’s lack of emphasis on the section letter—as well as its use of a general sports pun rather than a softball-specific pun—can be overlooked, thanks to the name’s creativity and incorporation of a legal concept that the Section H students don’t even understand yet.[3]

Second: Aiding and Abatting (Section A)

Other than Section H, Section A was somehow the only team to include both a legal pun and a softball/sports pun in its name, so I’m giving them extra points for that. Section A did lose points on team naminess, but they managed to score some of those back with their use of section letter alliteration.

Third (tied): BarBarians (Section B) & Cold Callers (Section C)

This one was tough. Sections B and C succeeded together (legal puns, team naminess, emphasis on section letter), but they also failed together (lack of softball puns). BarBarians felt slightly more creative, but Cold Callers would definitely strike more fear into my heart if I were an opponent. Ultimately, neither name was able to gain a sizable edge over the other, so the teams get to share the last spot on the 1L Section Softball Team Name podium instead.

Fifth: LLM NFTeam (LL.M.s)

“NFTeam” isn’t really a softball or sports pun, but I’ll give it to the LL.M.s on this one, since it is still sports related. On the other hand, the legal puns are lacking, and I instinctively don’t like NFTs, so fifth place it is.

Sixth: Tortelini-e (Section E)

This one is getting ranked lower than it probably should for a couple of reasons. First of all, “tortellini” is spelled with two l’s.[4] Second of all: TortEllini. It’s right there. Just capitalize that E and you both make your tort pun clearer and avoid having to add the “e” at the end of a word that already ends in a long e sound. If you want to keep the hyphen usage, “Tort-e-llini” also works. Just something to keep in mind for the spring semester.

Seventh: I’s on the Ball (Section I)

While this team’s name isn’t necessarily the most creative, it does utilize both the section’s letter and a solid softball pun, and you could make the name follow the traditional team-name format if you really wanted to.

Eighth: Public InDecency (Section D)

I’ll be honest, this team never stood a chance. How could you, when the section team that preceded you by two years was named “Deez Nuts”? Obviously, this isn’t 1L Section D’s fault, and I’ll admit that it’s unfair for me to rate them against their predecessor when I’m not doing the same for the other 1L teams. But come on. Deez Nuts.

Ninth: F for Final Judgment (Section F)

It doesn’t have a softball pun, and it’s not particularly team name-y, but it does use both the section’s letter and legal terminology to create an appropriately dramatic and fear-inspiring team name that would’ve ranked higher if not for the arbitrary criteria that I outlined at the beginning of this article.

Tenth: Guilty as Charged (Section G)

Section G’s team name suffers from the same issue that Section H’s does in that while the section letter is used, it isn’t really emphasized. Unlike Section H, its scores on the other criteria don’t do enough to overcome the problem. Overall, it’s not a bad name, but it’s not spectacular, either.

Eleventh: J’s and Confused (Section J)

Use of the section letter is there, as is a softball pun—kind of, if you squint a little (or a lot). Dazed and Confused has a baseball scene, so I guess that kind of counts?

To close out this first edition of the annual 1L Section Softball Team Name Rankings,[5] I would like to state that regardless of what these rankings might seem to say, all of the sections named their softball teams well, and I appreciate the cleverness that went into each name. With that being said, now is the time for all the non-Section H 1Ls (and LL.M.s) to use their rage from losing to Section H—again—as fuel to propel them towards 1L Softball Tournament victory. Play ball.

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saw8rc@virginia.edu

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[1] The law also loves using made-up terms that no one else understands.

[2] The Rule 12(b)ombers (2L § B’s team) and the Founding Fielders (3L § F) are perfect examples of section team names that meet all of these criteria, and quite frankly, this year’s 1Ls/LL.M.s are lucky they don’t have to compete against them.

[3] In fairness, it’s unclear how well the courts understand the concept, either.

[4] If this was supposed to be a “one l”/1L pun, it didn’t work.

[5] I don’t know if this will actually be an annual thing, but it sounds cool to say.

Which Niche Area of the Law School Are You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

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Julia D'Rozario ’24
New Media Editor

It may go without saying that a passion for the study of law does not often mix with a passion for astrology. Having failed to find fellow law students to talk astrology with, I have now decided to abuse my position on the Law Weekly to inflict poorly researched zodiac content on the School. Please enjoy my woefully uninformed, deeply biased analysis on a question no one wants the answer to: Which niche area of the Law School are you, based on your zodiac sign? 

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
The Microwave Corner

Before this became an astrology article, it was a “places in the Law School with very specific energy” article. My boyfriend suggested “the little microwave area” because, and I quote, “I feel like I’m being held captive when someone asks me how my summer went and I still have fifty seconds left on my burrito.” I think we have all had this experience at the Law School microwaves . . . and we have all had this experience with a Gemini. Geminis are the social butterflies of the zodiac. You are fun, outgoing, and friendly, and your extroverted nature means that—like the microwave corner—it is easy for you to start conversations. Also like the microwave corner, your propensity for small talk may take innocent burrito-warmers hostage.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
The Meditation Room

The meditation room is the single most comforting place in the Law School, and you are the single most comforting sign in the zodiac. Cancers are known for being nurturing, intuitive, and emotional. Much like the beloved meditation room, you are a safe space for others and have an almost supernatural ability to soothe people with your energy. Also, I actively seek you out and unload my emotional turmoil on you at the slightest inconvenience.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Specifically the Front Couches in ScoCo

The ScoCo front couches are always either pleasantly bustling and social, or overly noisy and overwhelming. Hit or miss. Leos are known for being confident and theatrical—for their innate ability to command attention. Like the ScoCo front couches, you are the center of attention, and you can sometimes be boisterous. You can also be hit or miss. Some of my best friends (and the best people I know) are Leos. An equal number of my mortal enemies[1] are Leos. You are either one of the friendliest, funniest, warmest people in the universe, or I actively fear you. There is no in between.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
The Gunner Pit

When I told my Virgo friend about this article, she immediately stated, “The Gunner Pit is Virgo. I’m saying this because I know.” Virgos are known for being diligent, organized, and logical. Just like the Gunner Pit, you are beautiful and incredibly smart. You also happen to account for roughly 80 percent of the romantic anguish I have experienced in my life, so I will continue to avoid[2] you like my life depends on it (again, just like the Gunner Pit).

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The Murals

Many haven’t noticed this—I didn’t until recently—but the Law School actually has a collection of murals: replicas of the famous Clark Hall murals on Main Grounds.[3] As well as being beautiful, the murals tell a compelling story. Libra, you are known for being a lover of beauty. You gravitate to all things picturesque and tend towards aesthetics more than any other sign in the zodiac. Like the mural space (and Oscar Wilde), you understand that beauty is a form of genius.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The Slaughter Hall Connector Room

If you’re asking, “what connector room?” you’ve come upon the very reason that this is a Scorpio space. To answer your question, there is a small, dark, soundproof room in the middle of Slaughter Hall, which inexplicably has windows looking into all the surrounding classrooms. Scorpios are often known for being mysterious, secretive, and observant. Much like the connector room, you are curious and mystifying to others. You are also probably watchful to the point of giving people the creeps.[4]

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
The Basement

Sagittarians are known for being adventurous, independent, and energetic. But that’s not what I’m basing this on. I have been to the basement exactly one time, and it was enough. I felt like I was in A Quiet Place. The corridors were long and narrow, it was weirdly dark, and the lights were flickering. I don’t know if the basement is usually like that or if I just went on an off day, but I will not be going back . . . with Sagittarius, like the basement, I am basing my entire assessment on one bad experience.[5] I will be choosing to ignore all your positive traits because of one really terrible Sagittarius I knew. Like, bad enough that he tainted the entire zodiac sign. Like the basement hallways, you might lead me to my ultimate doom, or you might not. I won’t be getting close enough to find out.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Third Floor of the Library

Capricorns are the hard workers of the zodiac, and are responsible and ambitious. For this reason, you are the third floor of the library. More so than any other study space in the School—including the Gunner Pit—the third floor of the library strikes me as a truly scholarly and intellectual place. Your work ethic is something to revere, and, like the third floor, intimidates the hell out of me.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The Tiny Door

Those of you who have been reading the Law Weekly for a while will know that we, as a newspaper, are obsessed with the tiny, unexplained door in the second-floor hallway. Aquarians are known for being eccentric, rebellious, and unique. You aren’t concerned with what “standard” doors are “supposed” to look like . . . as an Aquarius, you keep people on their toes by being unpredictable. Just like our beloved tiny door, you play by your own rules. Unlike the tiny door, which is tiny and door-shaped, you are—to quote our Editor-in-Chief—a “human person of predictable proportions.”[6]

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
The Telephone Booth

For anyone who isn’t aware, there is a tiny room in the library designated as the “phone room.” It’s about six square feet in area. Picture Bender’s house in Futurama. It is absolutely empty, save for a call-for-help button, and is forbidden from having any furniture. In fact, let me take back my classification of it as a “room”: It is quite literally a closet. Considering the fact that it is directly next to the MyLab “cell phone zone,” which has tea, snacks, and sofas, I don’t know anyone who has ever opted to take a call in the closet. I do, however, know people[7] who have slipped in there to have a quick finals week cry or to scream softly without alarming their peers. Pisces, you are known for being sensitive and in tune with your feelings. You are not one to deny yourself your emotional needs. Like the telephone booth, you cry when you need to cry, you scream when you need to scream, and your emotional balance is better for it.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
McGuireWoods Corner

McGuireWoods Corner is a corner. Quite literally. It is an ordinary corner wall near the bookstore’s entrance, which, for unknowable reasons, has been sponsored and is labeled “McGuireWoods Corner.” Aries, you are strong-willed and self-assertive. You have a strong sense of identity and know yourself better than most people. Like McGuireWoods Corner, which, I cannot emphasize enough, is literally a corner, you’re not afraid to tell the world exactly who you are.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Home

Let’s be real, you’re not at school unless you absolutely have to be. Tauruses are known for essentially being the personification of a fuzzy blanket. You crave relaxation and warmth, and you feel the best when you are cuddled up in bed, at home, with a good movie and some good snacks. If, by any chance, you ARE at school outside of class, you’re probably at the Student Affairs office, acquiring Cheez-Its.

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jkd2dd@virginia.edu

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[1] Yes, I have mortal enemies.

[2] I went cold turkey off Virgos almost two years ago…

[3] For information on the history of the murals, read, Seven Wonders of the Law School: Clark Hall, by Monica Sandu ’24.

[4] Not me though—as a Scorpio myself, and an avid people-watcher, I condone connector room behavior.

[5] You were promised bias at the start of this article!

[6] See Ode to Tiny Door in the Second Floor Hallway, published exactly 364 days ago by our EIC, Dana Lake ’23.

[7] Read: me.

Barristers United Match Report: September 18, 2022

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

Barristers United roared into action early Sunday morning against the enigmatically named ENNSA, looking to build on last week’s momentum to pick up a second win this season. With the squad disappointingly without a JMU alum in the starting lineup for the first time this season, there were concerns the team might once again have trouble taking advantage of their chances. These concerns, like fears that not reading the footnotes will impact your final grade, turned out to be comically wrong.

A commanding 7-0 win is sure to silence the media talking heads who believe that the Barristers dynasty can never return after last year’s championship loss. But pressure makes diamonds, and this team has an engagement with destiny that they need a ring for.

The 1L class continued to impress, with two more goals coming in debuts for the Class of 2025. James Pierpoint ’25 showed incredible poise as he opened his Barristers account with a goal of pure finesse, while his fellow common-law scholar, Carter Rothman ’25, scored a Barristers set piece goal, showing that class doesn’t have a credit requirement.

Not to miss out on yet another fun Law School event, the Class of 2023 managed to get on the score sheet, thanks to a goal from Barristers legend, Mustapha Yoosuf-Akinlaja ’23, who continues to prove that our class can be relevant, despite the damage that our first year did to us. Chris Hamborsky ’23 also continued to impress with a beautiful assist, demonstrating the wisdom of heavy investment in the Barristers academy system.

But, at the end of the day, the true star of the show was the Class of 2024, who had four goals and continued to show a borderline irresponsible level of passion for Sunday League soccer. Nathan Sheeley ’24 physically dominated the other side as he scored a vigorous solo goal to put the game out of reach. And the final three Barristers goals all belonged to the eternally youthful and speedy Drew Flanagan ’24, who annihilated ENNSA with a glorious hat trick that will live rent-free in their defenders’ heads for months to come.

Overall, the game was a brilliant return to form for a reloaded Barristers squad that aims to prove that UVA is no longer just a softball school. Tune in next week as they take on the inaccurately named “Champion” FC, for what is sure to be a thrilling match at Charlottesville High School.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

For the 5th Decade in a Row, We Ask: Why Softball?

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Jack Brown ‘23
Sports Editor

If you’ve been on a tour of the Law School, you are guaranteed to have heard about a few things. Of course, there are mentions of “collegiality,” mentions of how much great hiking there is around Charlottesville, and guarantees that if you come here, OPP will find you a firm job (though it might be in Wilmington). But more than any of these staples, you will hear about softball and how much it means to the social scene at UVA.

The first question you might be asking is, “Why?” Why is this antiquated game seemingly as mandatory for UVA Law students as cold calls or having to explain to your parents that UVA is actually ranked higher than Georgetown and Cornell? Why do I have to deal with a barrage of enthusiastic GroupMe messages about our game against Section Whatever? Why should I play?

There is a reason softball has endured for over forty years, despite the clear danger the game poses for unathletic law students and innocent passersby at Copeley. It can inspire section pride, give anyone a chance at glory, and let you enjoy what the American Meteorological Society considers the best weather on the east coast.

You should like the message in your GroupMe to RSVP for softball because—no matter what your level of athleticism, experience, or understanding of the rules—you can have fun. From the cleanup hitter to the fan trying to wrap their head around the infield fly rule, everyone can enjoy the game. Every time someone steps up to the plate, you get a chance to see them become a hero. No matter who they are, when they step into the batter’s box, they have a chance for glory. The general lack of athleticism amongst law students means that any contact with the ball can lead to a runner making it to first. You will hear no louder cheer than that of a section when their classmate, who apologizes to everyone for not being good as they step up to the plate, discovers their hidden talent and whacks that baby past the try-hard shortstop. And if you miss? No one will care; they’ll support you for giving it a try.[1]

“What about when I'm not at the plate?” some of you might ask, your voice doused in suspicion. Well, then you get the most fun part of softball: tastefully mocking the other team with your friends behind you. The most common complaint about softball and baseball is that the games are too boring for our generation’s ADHD-addled mind. That it, like recusals by Supreme Court justices, is something for a bygone era. But it is this slow pace that makes it perfect for Law School. Whether you bring your books, dog, or chess set,[2] you don’t have to hyperfocus on the game to get a sense of what is going on. Outside of Bar Review, it really is the best way to get to know people in and outside of your section.

As you progress in your legal career and meet more attorneys who went to UVA Law, inevitably, many of them will monologue about their own moments of softball glory. While it may be painful to patiently stand there as a partner goes on about his legendary hit to win the 1978 championship, you will be struck by how much those memories mean to an otherwise soulless man. You might even see him smile for the only time when he thinks back to whatever law-related pun his team was called. These UVA Law alumni will rattle off the names of their teammates and shift to talking about how much they miss seeing their friends each week. Softball sticks with people not only for what actually happens on the field, but also because of who they played with and against.

Law School is tough, and 1L is the hardest part of it all. At points, doctrinal classes will feel all-consuming, and it can feel impossible to think about anything other than The Law. It's the friends you make at UVA that make it a little bit bearable—the connections that will help you survive those terrifying exams and will make you one day (I promise) nostalgic for your time at UVA. Softball can be the start of so many friendships. It gives you something to talk about before Contracts, can introduce you to people outside of your section, and can keep your section in touch with one another after this first year. At the end of the day, the only way to lose at softball is to not give it a try.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

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[1] And if people don’t cheer for you, they’re toxic, and that’s good to discover early on.

[2] If you are a huge nerd.

Refugees in Romania

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Monica Sandu '24
Co-Executive Editor

Of the seven million Ukrainians forced from their homes since the start of the war, over 1.7 million of them fled to Romania.[1] As of the end of August, 86,178 have chosen to stay.[2] Over 4,000 are unaccompanied children.[3] This summer, I had the opportunity to see for myself how Romania was adapting and how Ukrainians were adjusting to life across the border.

This is a difficult article to write. I can only speak as to what I’ve seen, recognizing that I cannot possibly capture the full reality. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to write this article in order to humanize those numbers above. Their stories deserve to be heard.

In Bucharest, messages of support for Ukraine were a constant backdrop to the rhythm of everyday life. Posters across town featured a QR code that linked to a government website with job hunting resources. Graffiti on the sides of walls featured the Romanian and Ukrainian flags together, with a heart between them. Nowhere were these messages more prominent than in the city center, where large signs across Bucharest’s famous landmark buildings proclaimed, “Solidarity” in Romanian and Ukrainian. Ukrainian refugees were even given free access to all public museums. Bucharest’s central train station, Gara de Nord, was a flurry of constant activity. Lines of tents were set up throughout the terminal, with signs in English and Ukrainian pointing to information stands, food, medical services, and even temporary lodging. Amidst the sea of travelers heading to and from vacation during the peak season, translators stood out in bright yellow vests, ready to assist anyone who needed it.

 On a train from the mountains, my parents met two young women who were third-year marketing students at the University of Kyiv. They told us they had made lots of friends during their stay, and that they were trying to use their time in Romania to explore the country. Both were hopeful that they would be able to return and finish their degrees. In the city of Brasov, near central Romania, Ukrainian children sat at tables in the central courtyard of our hotel, where they were housed, and practiced their Romanian lessons. Tourists and refugees stayed under the same roof, swapping good mornings and thank yous around the breakfast buffet in a mix of languages.

 While at the seaside, I saw many Ukrainian families with small children playing by the shore as the parents watched over them (or, occasionally, even joined in on the fun). For this moment, they were safe. They could sit on the sand, share an ice cream cone, and enjoy as normal a childhood summer as they could. Everyone I spoke with was extremely friendly. Their children laughed with pure delight as they ran from the oncoming waves or built sandcastles with other families, despite the language barrier.

During my time at the beach, I met a woman from Odessa. She said she was extremely grateful for the welcome she received and the hospitality of the locals. She had left Ukraine with her elderly mother and a group of her friends only a few days after the start of the conflict. “I did not tell my mother about the war,” she mentioned. “We all left quickly, but we told her we were taking her on vacation. My mother remembers the last war. I could not make her suffer again.” Her mother passed away one month later. She was interred in a local cemetery, unable to be returned to her home. However, in the face of such tragedy, there was also a small comfort. “It’s very similar to Odessa,” the woman remarked, looking out over the vast expanse of the Black Sea. “The waves, the coast, the view. It’s the same sea.”

Overall, what struck me most was the sense of optimism among everyone I met. Though their worries were never fully gone, Ukrainians were making the most of their time abroad, filled with the hope that soon, they will be home again.

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m7mn@virginia.edu

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[1] All data and statistics in this article come from the UN High Commissioner for Refugees’ Situation Report, published Sept. 6, 2022: https://reliefweb.int/report/romania/regional-refugee-response-plan-ukraine-situation-inter-agency-operational-update-romania-august-2022.

[2] Out of the 86,178 total refugees, 59,056 so far have obtained temporary protection status, which grants access to jobs, education, and healthcare. Sixty-five percent of these protected refugees are women and girls.

[3] According to the UN: “Since the beginning of the humanitarian crisis, 4,218 unaccompanied children have been registered by the General Directorate of Social Assistance and Child Protection. Currently, 963 unaccompanied children remain in Romania together with a relative or a caregiver.” An additional 210 Ukrainian children are in the state protection system.

nOGI: Lively Discussions, and Dedicated Students

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Bryanna Lindberg ‘23
Staff Editor

On Thursday evening at the Park, students gathered for nOGI, an annual event where public interest students celebrate their moral superiority over pizza (shockingly, no vegan options were offered). As the most marginalized and oppressed members of the UVA Law community, public interest students have long envisioned the creation of their safe space, a place where “f*rm” is the real f-word, Kirkland is something you buy at Costco, and facial piercings outnumber paid internship positions. nOGI has become such a place, where students who chose not to participate in OGI can find the support they aren’t getting from the administration.

Everyone who attempted to enter the event was vibe-checked at the door. One woman who accidentally mentioned she was on the Virginia Law & Business Review was escorted from the Park in tears. She returned shortly after with a signed letter from Professor Frampton affirming that not only did she work at a public defender’s office this summer, she worked at *that* sexy Southern office, and was allowed to enter. Inside the Park, students could be seen greeting each other excitedly, nodding along as their friends and fellow soldiers in The Battle Against Injustice™ (except not actual soldiers because the military is carrying out a neo-liberal colonialist agenda) spoke eloquently about “holistic defense,” “trauma-informed lawyering,” and “f*rm all prosecutors,” while simultaneously complaining about how poor they are.

At one point, a lively discussion was had about student organization funding. When it was discovered that a particular student organization had received less funding than other organizations, a frenzy of future public defenders, legal aid attorneys, and that one brave guy who wants to be an Assistant U.S. Attorney but still shows up to PI events began gnashing their teeth and banging their metal water bottles on the picnic table. Cries of “funding transparency is justice!” and “Dean’s discretion my ass!” echoed across the Park. One group of students began planning a protest, but heated disagreement between the peaceful protestors and the anarchist faction almost threatened to derail the project. It was only after the Co-President of the Law and Public Service Program stood on a picnic bench and shouted, “Remember who the real enemy is: the administration!” that order was restored. A plan was formed, but the specifics of the plan were critiqued so thoroughly that the organizers were temporarily paralyzed with indecision. It was decided that using cardboard banners furthered destruction of the rainforest, but foam boards purchased from Walmart both increased the pace of global warming and lined the pockets of an evil corporation. Nailing placards to wooden sticks wasn’t inclusive of the over-six-foot community, but forcing the shorter demonstrators to hold signs above their heads equaled unpaid labor. One notably tall woman pointed out that public interest students are accustomed to performing unpaid labor—RIP PILA points—but she was overruled when the shorter demonstrators decided to unionize. After several hours of discussion and negotiation, it was decided that both the short and tall demonstrators would perform a sit-in at ScoCo. When the day arrived, however, only a dedicated few participants showed up because, as every good PI student knows, it’s way easier to talk about protesting than it is to actually protest.

Nothing bonds PI students like mutual outrage, and this year’s nOGI was no exception. Sitting together, toeing the line between protest and mob violence, PI students were reminded why they do it. Why do we piss off our BigLaw friends by telling them the laptop they bought with their summer associate salary is a physical manifestation of capitalist greed? Why do we choose to explain to Uncle Brett every Thanksgiving that we’re spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to make less money than the average electrician because immigrants are people, too? Why do we wake up in the morning and decide to carry a beige tote bag when backpacks with compartments are so much more organized? Because we care. We care so much that we passed up 3L job security, a summer in New York drinking cocktails and playing Topgolf on our firm’s dime, and the chance to flex our mid-August trip to Europe on Instagram. We care so much that sometimes, our caring looks like judging. And, well, that’s because we are judging. We watched your Instagram story; we know you went to Italy, okay? And yeah, we’re kind of bitter because we used up our PILA Grant in six weeks and had to go home to Ohio after our internship so our parents would feed us. But ultimately, we judge because we care. And if you’re lucky enough to be friends with a PI student, it means we care about you, too. But for the love of Bernie Sanders, if you bring up that pasta carbonara you ate on a balcony overlooking the Tuscan countryside one more time!

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bl2am@virginia.edu

Barristers United Match Report September 11, 2022

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Jack Brown ‘23
Staff Editor

Every weekend, the brave students of UVA Law take to the fields of Charlottesville in their quest to hoist the most prestigious soccer trophy in the world: the SOCA Cup. The Law Weekly aims to document this legendary journey week in and week out, as our community looks to prove that UVA is more than just a softball/pickleball school.

Last season was one of the worst in Barristers United history. Only finishing second in the league, Barristers’ lowest placing in almost four years, the squad came into this week’s late-night game against Net Six and Chill looking to show that they were not going to repeat the same mistakes as last year (losing).

With the start of a new year, longtime Barristers fans will see many new faces in the squad, thanks to the inevitable passage of time. Luckily, recruiting efforts (including a new soccer skills component of the Law School’s application) have borne fruit, with an incredibly talented 1L class poised to assert themselves on the game’s biggest stage.

The game was a tight affair, with both teams anchored by impressive defenses. For the Law School, starting in the net was this year’s captain and Barristers legend, Aziz Rashidzada ’23, who remembers the club’s golden years better than anyone else. Right in front of him was the devious duo of Tom Schnoor ’23 and Keith Stone ’24. This solid defensive core allegedly has over 300 combined pickup and Sunday League games between them and helped the Barristers squad weather Net Six and Chill’s talented players.

For twenty minutes, the game was a brutal defensive contest with a series of precise fouls preventing any real forward progress for Barristers. The closest goal-scoring opportunity came from the victim of many of those fouls, Zack Pierce ’24, whose header off a corner was cleared at the goal line in a dramatic moment that robbed Barristers of a deserved lead.

The game changed, however, with the first wave of substitutions. Moments after coming on, JMU transfer Stephen Foss ’25 received the ball at the thirty-yard line and ripped a shot that scorched past the dumbfounded keeper. Sensing blood in the water, Barristers surged forward, with target man Nathan Sheeley ’24 and the ever-speedy Drew Flanagan ’24 taking several chances that were saved by a now very awake Net Six and Chill keeper.

Unfortunately, during this period of pressure, a rapid counterattack from the other team resulted in Barristers conceding in their opener. Still, the defense, bolstered by the addition of Barristers youth product/Libel star Chris Hamborsky ’23 and the ever-consistent Warren Griffiths ’23, held strong after this lapse.

At halftime, the score was tied 1-1, but momentum was clearly with Barristers, who had been the better side all game. Taking the stage for the first time, but not the last, Captain Aziz inspired the squad to keep the pressure up, to avoid getting mad at the ref, and to use the squad’s superior speed.

His speech resonated with the team, who came into the second half with renewed purpose and determination. The homophonous duo of Elana Murray ’25 and Alayna Choo ’23 dominated on the right side, while Ben Keller ’25 and Seth Coven ’25 showed the future was bright as the two 1Ls valiantly held the left flank.

Despite this heroism, the game remained tied 1-1 going into the last four minutes with the closest scoring chance of the half coming from the other team (with the shot brilliantly cleared off the line by Schnoor). As the game drew to a close, Barristers was able to earn a last-second corner. Barristers historically has not been known for its goals off set pieces. BUT SUNDAY, THAT DIDN’T MATTER as Cam DiGiovanni ’25 soared like a salmon and headed the game winner into the net with unreal force to end the game with barely any time left.

Another goal was put in by Foss after the other team overextended and opened themselves up to a counter-attack, which resulted in a penalty. The game ended 3-1, with all of Barristers’ goals coming from 1Ls, which bodes well for the squad’s future. Join us next week as your fellow students go into battle again to raise yet another SOCA championship trophy.

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jwb4bb@virginia.edu

Yet Another Sunset Series Review

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor
 

Unless you are a new KJD 1L, you probably spent this summer wrapped up in work. It was exhausting, irritating, and any number of words that are negative and end in “-ing.” All of this was immediately rewarded with a return to the joys™ of law school. In between the stresses of studying, networking, or planning your party schedule for the week, we are all under a lot of pressure. By the time you get your head above water, it will likely be time to switch out the shorts and tank tops you are used to for sweaters and sweatpants. The cold, combined with the impending doom of needing to pay attention in class, is likely to ruin your mood. So why miss out on one of the few outside activities available before the cold sets in? Enter: Sunset Series.

            If you’ve read this paper over the last two years, you’ve already seen a review of this event. But as a member of the Triumvirate,[1] I can be lazy and redo old articles. What are you going to do, sue me?[2] But there’s a reason I’m writing about this again; it’s because Sunset Series is a unique and fun event. With many wineries around, it’s easy to think they are all the same. On Thursdays from 6 to 9 p.m., though, Sunset Series offers live music, great drinks, and the best donuts that this city has to offer.[3] Could I name a single one of the bands that have played there? No, but that’s on me. Could I list all of the flavors of Bold Rock off the top of my head? Absolutely not, there are a lot. Could I tell you any of the food trucks that park there? Not a chance. But all of those things combine to provide the ideal ambiance for an end-of-the-week activity.[4]

            One thing you should absolutely remember to bring is a blanket. You might be tricked into thinking that with at least ten picnic tables, there is enough space for you and your friends. You would be wrong. It’s not just law students that go there; it’s not Bar Review. But the mountain has so much space open to lay out a blanket (that will absolutely get wet on the grass) that you could be excused for thinking that you are in the student section of a UVA football game before halftime. Another small thing is to make sure to check your tire pressure before you go.[5] You don’t want to be the person who rolls down the mountain on the drive up because you didn’t press the gas hard enough while absentmindedly flipping through your playlist.[6]

            Regardless of the fact that I couldn’t tell you the name of all the Bold Rock flavors available, I do recommend you try out many different flavors across your trips there. It’s a local brand and one of the best available. And if you are sober, the regular cider is no slouch, either. Mixed with a bite of donut, that cider hits harder than watching Appalachian State beating a Power Five team that made the mistake of scheduling them. With a variety of desserts, the built-in food and drink services at Carter Mountain are great, and the rotation of local food trucks only pushes that to the next level. On top of all of this, there is also a fantastic country store. With artisan jugs, freshly picked apples, a number of sweet treats, and anything else you can imagine, this is a great addition to the Sunset Series experience.

            One final promo is that taking a trip to Carter Mountain will allow you to experience the local community in all its beauty. I made the big mistake my 1L year, some would say for reasons out of my control,[7] of barely leaving the North Grounds area. Everyone talks a lot about the wineries in the area, but part of these visits isn’t just the chance to dress up with your friends, it’s a real opportunity to see the town we are in. Make sure to take advantage of the opportunity you have to eat, drink, and see everything Charlottesville has to offer—you will be ending up as a joyless cog in the machine either way.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] We coined this in Issue 1 this year, and I will now be using it as often as I can.

[2] If so, please email editor@lawweekly.org for this and all petty complaints.

[3] Yes, better than Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme. If you disagree, it’s okay to be wrong, as long as you accept your wrongness.

[4] If you have Friday classes, I feel bad for you. Not too bad, because you did it to yourself . But a little bad.

[5] Yes, this was out of left field. I write after midnight; all of my articles are streams of consciousness.

[6] No, this didn’t happen to me; how dare you accuse me of that?

[7] The pandemic. Remember that?

Beware of Lyme Disease: Five Important Tips

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Charlottesville, if you have not yet realized, is hardly a concrete jungle. A charming little town nestled in the midst of forests and mountains, nature is always just around the corner. And so are ticks, as I unfortunately discovered about this time last year after coming down with Lyme Disease. I made a full recovery after a round of antibiotics, but it was a 0/10, do-not-recommend experience. Following are some tips to avoid the same fate, taken from the CDC[1] and the Virginia Department of Health.[2]

1. Ticks are closer than you think.
   You do not have to be an avid hiker to be in tick territory. Forests, fields, and the like are all within easy walking distance of the Law School classrooms. Ticks, similarly to the deer and rabbits you may have seen around North Grounds, do not respect the boundaries of UVA property or city limits—the only outdoor areas I had been to the month before getting sick were the woods behind the Law School, the area around the soccer fields near the Law School, and the sidewalks connecting the Law School, Harris Teeter, and main campus.
   Take extra care around forested and other shady areas, tall grass, and leaf litter. Stay in the center of trails when possible.
   

2. Ticks can be very small, so check closely.
   Some of the ticks that are the most likely to transmit disease are the size of pinheads.[3] After being in tick habitats, be sure to conduct a thorough check of your entire body, including the backs of the knees, neck and hair, armpits, and other body creases and hard-to-see areas.
   

3. Wear appropriate clothing and bug spray when in tick habitats.
   When in tick habitats, wear bug spray containing DEET or picaridin and/or clothing treated with permethrin. Also consider wearing long pants tucked into socks. Note that ticks will be more visible on light-colored clothing. Ideally, shower and change promptly after getting back from your outdoor adventures, and keep your hiking clothes quarantined after changing until you can run them through the dryer on high heat.
   

4. Many tick-borne illnesses can be prevented by prompt removal.
   Finally, some good news! With some exceptions, many tick-borne illnesses require an estimated twenty-four hours or more of the tick being attached to transmit. So, don’t freak out too much if you find a tick—I only ran into problems because I did not think to check.
   The CDC and the Virginia Department of Health recommend removing ticks by grasping them with tweezers as close to the skin as possible and slowly pulling upward with gentle pressure until the ticks let go. Wash and disinfect the area afterwards. Dispose of ticks by placing them in alcohol, flushing them down the toilet, wrapping them in tape, or placing them in a sealed bag.
   

5. Communicate with your doctor.
   If you do get sick, let your doctor know if you have or may have been bitten by a tick in the last month or so (incubation periods may vary). Be sure to report any rashes or abnormal bug bites, but be aware that not everyone with a tick-borne illness gets (or finds) a distinctive rash. Many common tick-borne illnesses can be easily treated, but the earlier, the better to avoid long-term side effects.

(A version of this article ran September 22, 2021.)

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editor@lawweekly.org

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[1] See Preventing Tick Bites, CDC (July 1, 2020), https://www.cdc.gov/ticks/avoid/on_people.html.

[2] For a handy summary of ticks and tick-borne illnesses in Virginia, see Ticks and Tickborne Diseases, Va. Dep’t of Health, (2019), https://www.vdh.virginia.gov/content/uploads/sites/12/2019/08/Tick-borne-Disease-in-Virginia-Flyer-8.5-x-11-format-for-website-.pdf. This flyer contains a lot of handy info in a short amount of space.

[3] Id. (illustrating tick sizes).

You are at Risk of Developing a Substance Abuse Disorder

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Dana Lake '23
Editor-in-Chief

Oof, you might say. Rough article headline. Glad she’s not talking to me.

Reader, I am talking to you. One in five lawyers drinks at a hazardous level, and the statistic is over one in three for some studies.[1] For many, the problem started in law school.

Substance abuse in law school is not a secret, but it is diminished in other ways. The idea of a work hard, play hard culture from big firms is easily translated to law school, where just about every social event is centered around drinking. SBA has made great efforts in recent years to specify that there are both alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks available in their event notifications, and at celebratory events—like the Midway Toast for 2Ls—the Law School makes festive non-alcoholic options available. But the truth remains that alcohol is a major part of the social scene for most people in the legal field.

Recent summer associates can certainly attest to this. Your firm will cover the bill for drinks at every event they host, and you will be encouraged to participate. For people worried about a return offer, the pressure to be considered fun and a good sport—that is, someone willing to do shots with the first years—can be overwhelming. The stress of a difficult job where you spend almost all of your time with your coworkers in something of a bubble exacerbates the risk of problem drinking, and it doesn’t fade with an offer in hand. Studies show the heaviest drinkers in law firms are junior associates.[2]

All that is to say, now is the time to define your relationship with alcohol. Not when you get the offer, not when you graduate, not when you finish studying for the bar—creating healthy boundaries can start today. The Virginia Judges and Lawyers Assistance Program has a self-assessment that can be a good place to start.[3]

If you have Professor Mitchell for PR, then last week you read the excellent article by David Jaffe and Janet Stearns about the movement to change the Character and Fitness questions bar exams are allowed to ask their applicants.[4]The American Bar Association and Conference of Chief Justices have both resolved that improving the well-being of the legal community is a priority, and improvement can start with changing how mental health diagnoses and substance abuse disorders are weighed when evaluating a person’s ability to practice law.

The simple idea is that when disclosing a diagnosis has perceived negative consequences, people are less likely to disclose. And in the legal field, where disclosure and honesty in the bar and law school applications are hammered home so strongly, people are less likely to get diagnosed in the first place. Though only a handful of people fail to get licensed based on character and fitness evaluations every year (less than 1 percent of California state bar applicants, for example),[5] the culture of fear around the bar has a significant impact on how willing law students are to seek help.

The stigma around mental health is changing, and updating C&F disclosure requirements is only one part of that. The role of law schools is also expanding—at the University of Virginia, the UVA Collegiate Recovery Program is a community of support for anyone “in recovery, an ally, or just sober curious.”[6] They meet Wednesdays at 6 p.m. at 550 Brandon Avenue, no RSVP necessary (with free food and coffee). Student Affairs is also available to law students—Dean Davies and the Office of Student Affairs are a resource law students can lean on for help managing classes and professors if they are in a crisis, or for getting assessed and into treatment.[7]

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dl9uh@virginia.edu

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[1] https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/alarming-alcoholism-rate-lawyers/

[2] https://medium.com/exploring-sobriety/do-law-schools-encourage-excessive-drinking-effd06dec699

[3] https://vjlap.org/students/

[4] Conduct Yourselves Accordingly: Amending Bar Character and Fitness Questions to Promote Lawyer Well-Being

[5] https://www.reuters.com/legal/legalindustry/fake-lawyer-real-question-do-bar-morality-requirements-serve-purpose-2021-11-23/#:~:text=For%20most%20people%2C%20it's%20a,a%20bar%20spokesman%20told%20me.

[6] https://crp.virginia.edu/

[7] https://www.law.virginia.edu/wellness/alcohol-and-substance-abuse

UVA Football Season Opener Watch Party

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Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Co-Executive Editor

On Saturday, September 3, I attended a watch party for the first game of UVA’s football season. The Cavaliers were playing the Richmond Spiders, and, considering the football behemoth that is UVA’s program, attendance and spirits were high. The event, hosted by three different organizations,[1] was held in Kardinal Hall’s back room.[2] Nadia Doherty ’24 said that it was the fact that the three great organizations were bringing spirit to the Law School that got her out to Kardinal Hall. Although, the free food also played a role, she admitted. The full buffet line of sides definitely drew a lot of people over, the author of this piece included (everybody loves the Kardi brussel sprouts). Add on a food tab of around $1,500—which, rumor has it, was entirely used up by the end of the event—and you’ve got yourself an incentive to attend. Take note, all ye orgs of low attendance—food can turn even the most introverted of 1Ls into an extrovert for an hour. Suffice it to say, as with most events that include good drinks, free food, fun people, and mediocre football, the vibes were immaculate. And, to top things off, the Cavaliers won!

While at Kardinal, I was lucky enough to speak with representatives from each of the three organizations. I spoke first with Conor Rooney ’23, the president of the Virginia Sports and Entertainment Law Society. After giving me a run-down on who was responsible[3] for the phoenix-like rise to prominence that VSELS has had this semester, I asked Rooney what he was most excited for in the organization’s future. “Soon, we’ll be co-hosting an event with the Virginia Law and Business Society,” Rooney said. “The chief legal counsel of Netflix will be coming and doing a lunch Q&A with our students. I think that should be really exciting, as he’s a UVA graduate who really wants to talk to students. That should be happening in two weeks.” Rooney went on to say that he was excited to continue similar programming. In addition to this, VSELS is hoping to host more informal events, like tailgates and more football watch parties. Interested individuals may reach out to Rooney directly at his email, cjr7cs@virginia.edu.

Pictured: Christian Carlow '24, Deirdre McDonough '24, & Conor Rooney '23

Next, I spoke to Dierdre McDonough ’24, the president of the Virginia Bar Association.[4] VBA is an “organization for networking and connecting people with opportunities if they would like to work in Virginia after graduation.” It’s this connection that brought VBA, VSELS, and Southeastern Wahoos together at the event—a love for Virginia. VBA also has some exciting things planned for this year—not only is there a new advisor, which should lead to some incredible events for the organization, according to McDonough, but there was also a huge turnout at the activities fair, meaning that the club is back and better than ever. Plans include meetings with professionals all over Virginia, as well as an upcoming general body meeting. For those interested, please reach out to McDonough to get on the listserv by emailing her at zfc7wu@virginia.edu.[5]

Finally, I spoke with Christian Carlow ’24, the president of Southeastern Wahoos. “With great power comes great responsibility,” were some of the first words that Carlow had to share with me, signifying an illustrious reign and a prosperous future for those looking to practice in the Southeast during Carlow’s time at the helm. Carlow described the event as “a fun time with three fun clubs,” which the author of this article firmly agrees with. Carlow and McDonough share territory hiring-wise, or as Carlow put it, “have concurrent jurisdiction over Virginia,” so any who would like to be hired in the area should reach out to them both. Southeastern Wahoos started over COVID, but this is, according to Carlow, the year that Southeastern Wahoos “reaches Lone Star Lawyers level.” The plan begins with a new website—sewahoos.com. Others who are interested can reach out to Carlow directly at his email, cc4bn@virginia.edu. And if you loved Southeastern Wahoos’ Durty Nelly’s Feb Club night last February, expect similar programming going forward from Carlow. He knows what the fans want.

And remember, in the wise words of Jeremy Kass ’23, “secrets are what we want them to be.” Deep stuff happening at Kardinal Hall.

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

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[1] The Virginia Sports and Entertainment Law Society, The Virginia Bar Association, and Southeastern Wahoos all participated in organizing the event.

[2] I had actually not thought this possible after a notorious Law School/Med School mixer that took place last year, much to Kardinal Hall’s chagrin. In fact, I never expected to see an official Law School event back at Kardi. Those of you who get it, get it.

[3] Vice President of the Treasury David Kinnaird ’23, Vice President of On-Campus Events Sean Onwualu ’24, and Professional Development Vice President Derek Hitz ’24.

[4] She would like all 1Ls to be firmly aware that they do not have to join VBA, despite an apparent mix-up between SBA and VBA (neither of which have mandatory attendance, for the record). It’s okay, 1Ls. It only gets harder from here!

[5] Can we talk about how the School seems to have abandoned using initials in emails? How in all that is holy does “zfc” relate to “Dierdre McDonough” in the slightest? Sincerely, jtp4bw.

Five Common Programs You Should Be Using (But Probably Aren't)

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Caleb Stephens '23
Technology Editor

If you’re like most of us, you probably have a few programs that you use on a regular basis on your personal computer. Among these are Microsoft Word, your browser of choice (see Virginia Law Weekly, Volume 74, No. 16, p. 2), Excel (if you took that Corporate Finance class), and maybe Adobe Reader (but hopefully a better pdf reader that isn’t run by Adobe).

But what if I told you there are other tools out there that are already on your computer?

Unfortunately, this guide is mostly for Microsoft users. I know, I know. You probably are more adept than those Mac folks, you know how to use things that aren’t just the default programs, and you might even have customized your device. But there are still some applications you probably don’t know are even on your device. (My apologies to Mac users, but I don’t know of similar tools on a Mac, so, after debating whether to research that, I decided to just warn you that you’ll probably use a Windows machine in your professional life anyway, and you should just get used to it.)

Notepad

Notepad is one of my favorite applications. In essence, it’s a very basic word processing program. When you click on the icon, you get a white box, into which you can type. And then you can save the file after you’ve typed in it.

“But Caleb,” I can hear you asking, “why would I use that instead of Word?”

Good question. Sometimes Word is just too much. It’s very difficult to minimize Word to a tiny box that you can type in while looking at a different program, due to all the useful tools at the top, like the font choices, paragraph options, and the myriad of tools that Microsoft has kindly included. Notepad has four buttons at the top: File, Edit, View, and Settings. Each gives you exactly the options you would expect from your training on Word. I like to use Notepad when I’m working on an Excel sheet, or taking notes during a phone call when I need to reference a pdf, because you can resize Notepad to whatever size window you want without messing up the text, and without worrying about margins (although enabling word wrap in settings makes this much easier). Notepad is perfect for taking notes, and if you want to copy the notes into something that looks nicer later, go right ahead.

Task Manager

This is where things get a little bit more complicated. If you use your computer for multitasking, you’ve probably noticed it beginning to overheat at times, having trouble loading an internet page, or running the internal fan until it starts to sound like a Boeing 747 beginning takeoff. Well, Task Manager is here to help. Task Manager can easily be accessed by hitting Ctrl + Alt + Esc on the keyboard (or by searching “task manager” and pinning the icon to your taskbar). It displays all processes the computer is running and can easily show you what is clogging up your computer’s computing power. If you right-click on the problematic program, it will give you the option to “end process,” which will force-close the program. Don’t do that if you need to save something on the open program, obviously. (I claim no responsibility for using this power recklessly, so just remember that with the power to recklessly end programs comes the power to accidentally close Word without saving your last changes).

Calculator

Yes, you probably have one on your phone. Yes, it probably has loads of functions and is easier to use. But the standard Windows calculator program has far more in it than you would ever expect. In addition to standard calculations from a scientific calculator, it can also automatically perform conversions, telling you that there are 9,072,000 seconds, 105 days, or 2,520 hours in fifteen weeks; 4,046.856 square meters, 4,840 square yards, or 0.37 soccer fields in an acre; and 116.73 Albanian Leks in a dollar. It can graph functions (if you’re really into math), tell you how to convert 42 into binary (0100 0010), or tell you that there are thirty-one days between September 7 and October 8 (the start of Fall Break). I only began researching the use of the calculator when my summer firm sent me a training video of tips and tricks for the practice of law and specifically called out the humble Windows calculator as essential for determining the exact date that briefs were due under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Snipping Tool (Snip & Sketch for older OS)

This tool is one of my commonly-used programs for communicating with others. With an icon shaped like a pair of scissors, Snip & Sketch lets you simply open the program, click “New,” and click and drag over the part of your screen you want to screenshot. You can then save that image, mark it up, share it, and disseminate it however your heart desires. I mostly use Snip & Sketch for taking quick screen grabs to show someone else what I’m seeing (frequently IT people, who will want you to save images of error messages).

Settings

Yes, the last entry is just your settings on your computer. Yes, Macs have this too. But rarely do most people open their settings and actually adjust them. Each computer will have a slightly different settings menu, depending on the model, but generally, tweaking a few settings will make some tasks much easier. Every so often, I like to go in and check my display settings, make sure that I have the brightness settings the way I want, and check the focus settings, what time zone my computer is in, what my automatic update settings are, how my notifications are delivered, and (essentially) how long it takes my screen to time-out. Who knows, you may discover your new favorite feature when you dive into your settings.

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cs8ws@virginia.edu

Quick Tips for Avoiding Cold Calls

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Will Holt ‘23
Opinions Editor

What scared you the most about entering law school? Finding a job? The workload? Making Law Review, perhaps? Well, the answer to this question naturally varies from student to student, but I am confident that (nearly) all of my readers have also worried about one particular quirk of the Socratic method from time to time—the cold call. Like thunderbolts from Hell, these aggressive and unwelcome inquiries strike every law student, especially during his or her first year. They are inevitable, but not necessarily unmitigable. Students can adhere to certain key practices to reduce the chances that they will be called upon and required to answer. These following methods work by either rendering the student employing them a less obvious target for a call or by deflecting attention away from the question, making a reply unnecessary.

1) Don’t be that guy.
Most first-year classes are large and filled with innocent, bright-eyed idealists who are eager to catch the attention of their professor and prove that they are the brightest pupils in the room. They are misled. Being a law student necessitates accepting that there is always someone smarter, someone more knowledgeable, or someone more articulate. Fighting this reality by painting a target on oneself is just bad form. By trying to catch the eye of an instructor, a student will become one of the first names that pops into that instructor’s mind when he or she thinks about lobbing a cold call. It’s simply better if professors don’t know one’s name at all.

2) Don’t seek out eye contact, but don’t avoid it, either.
It is a cliché, I know, but it is true that eyes are the windows to our souls. If a student repeatedly makes eye contact with a professor, the former’s face and seating position will become more prominent in the latter’s mind. Professors are (technically) human, and they aren’t inclined to pause class just to mull over who, exactly, is the best candidate for a surprise interrogatory. They make snap decisions that are heavily influenced by their unconscious, which itself is heavily biased on the basis of familiarity. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean anonymity is a bullet-proof defense. Professors can smell fear, and if they sense that a student is trying to avoid eye contact, their predatory instincts will kick in, and they will eventually call on him. In a way, avoiding eye contact actually attracts the attention of professors more than does seeking it out.

3) Do not bring a mouse to class.
To be clear, I am not talking about the fuzzy and adorable rodents that snakes find so tasty (I have never heard of a student who brought a pet mouse to class and was cold called as a result) but rather the kind of mouse that plugs into one’s computer. Most upperclassmen will only mention typing speed and frequency when a 1L asks them how professors identify students using their computers for non-scholastic purposes. I disagree with this conventional wisdom, at least to an extent. Professors are smart individuals and generally recognize that students have different note-taking styles. Some transcribe every word that comes from professors’ lips, whereas others only note the most critical and insightful information. A student that rarely types is not necessarily slacking off, provided that he or she looks up at least occasionally, and a student who types nonstop is not necessarily chatting with a dozen friends. A mouse, however, shows the professor exactly how a student engages with his or her computer screen. A lot of clicking indicates transitioning between many different webpages, and a lot of scrolling indicates a lot of reading—neither are good signs to a professor who has done nothing but lecture for an hour straight. Trust me. Just avoid giving off these signals entirely by sticking with a trackpad.   

4) Feign a minor cardiac event.
If one’s name has been called and a particularly nasty question levied, it is natural to assume that the die is cast. But this is incorrect. As with contracts, there has to be the assent of both parties. The key is to avoid giving such assent while steering attention away from the question, so as not to hurt one’s participation grade. Put otherwise, one needs a diversion, and nothing is a better diversion than a medical emergency. Minor cardiac events tend to have fairly easy-to-feign symptoms (chest pain, shortness of breath, etc.), are presumed to be dangerous, and moreover, are hard to dismiss as fake without the administration of a number of tests. They thus are excellent at distracting a class long enough for any cold call to be forgotten entirely.

5) Feign a major cardiac event.
Sometimes, a little tightness in the chest won’t cut it. One may find himself or herself at the mercy of a particularly determined instructor who simply won’t take any excuses whatsoever. In these moments, there really is but one way out—to jump out of one’s seat, clench one’s left arm, and cry, “I’m coming, Elizabeth!”

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wjh4ew@virginia.edu

How to be a Corporate Sellout

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Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor
 

It’s the second edition of the year, which means it’s time to return to my unhinged writing ways. So, today’s topic is simple: How to Be a Corporate Sellout™. A very large portion of the student body is either seeking private jobs, has them, or will want them after a year in the Law School. For those of you who manage to maintain your interest in public interest or came in knowing that you would never have a firm job, you are simply built different, and I respect you immensely.[1] But, for all the rest of you, I’m sure you need a little help on your path. Selling out to a firm or a company as in-house counsel is not the easiest thing to do. Converting from a summer associate position to a full-time position is even harder—so here’s a quick guide.

First of all, you need to stay late. As late as you can. Corporate employers love when you work overtime, especially since they don’t have to compensate you extra because of how billable hours work.[2] If you have to stay late enough that you get to see the sunrise from the rooftop of your corporate cell—I mean office building—then that’s great too. Consider bringing a blanket and a pillow to take a brief under-the-table nap, then feel free to do that, too! I’m sure any partner would love to walk in at 10 a.m. and see the remnants of a long all-nighter at your desk.

Next, remember to over-caffeinate. One of the perks of working at a firm is a near-unlimited accessibility of coffee and tea. Make sure to take full advantage of that. If you don’t drink any caffeinated beverages at all, this is one good habit that you should absolutely develop in the workplace. If you only drink coffee once a day, what are you doing? Catch up to your peers.[3] It’s essential that your corporate employers know that you are putting your life and body on the line. Health and wellness are essential to good workplace performance—increasing your base heart rate will help with that.

Also keep in mind that you need to embarrass yourself at social events and in networking settings. This is key and something a lot of potential corporate employees forget to do. This can be something as small as using a picture of yourself with a friend at a party as your firm profile picture or something as big as showing off your shotgunning skills in front of partners at a sporting event. The important part is to show your personality through embarrassing, socially inappropriate acts. How else will they know that you will be a good fit? This kind of behavior at a firm is essential to getting a return offer.

Additionally, you want to make sure to get rid of any distractions you have. It’s important that you only think about your workplace at all hours of the day. Whether or not you take my advice about sleeping under your desk, you still need to always focus on your job. That means pets, children, and families are all immediately out of the realm of possibility.[4] Who needs hobbies when you can dedicate your entire life to an entity that will never fill that hole in your heart that will inevitably develop? Dating is no longer a concern, since you will never have the time to meet people outside the firm. And definitely don’t date within the firm or within your summer class; that would just mess up the firm synergy.[5]

Finally, and most importantly, you need to always say yes to assignments. All of the advice so far was about not setting boundaries because you don’t need them anymore. That’s demonstrated best with this piece of advice. You need to take on a bunch of assignments at once. If you think you have enough, you can take more. Are you only impressing one partner? Not good enough. You need to have work from every group or lead attorney within the firm. If you find yourself with any free moments, you are not maximizing your potential. When the firm or company hired you, they hired someone with youth and vigor that they could contractually work to the bone.

I hope that all my dear readers take this advice to heart. All I want is for there to be more profit-maximizing individuals entering the workplace. Unfortunately, I will not be following any of the above advice, because I want you to be better than me. So, best of luck to all the 2Ls who just got jobs and to the 1Ls who are about to start their search.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

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[1] Here you go Parker Kelly ’23, your annual Law Weekly shoutout.

[2] I don’t know how bonuses work. Do you? Please tell me. Please. I’m afraid to ask.

[3] Specifically, Morgan Graff ’23, who defies logic with her high coffee consumption.

[4] If you have them already, then you need to learn how to clone yourself. It’s an essential skill.

[5] Dating within your summer class will definitely end well and not as a Greek tragedy, I’m sure.

Eurotrip Recap: Be a Tourist

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Devon Chenelle ‘23
Prose Style Editor

Since graduating college, the exigencies of personal finance and public health have not allowed me the peripatetic life I enjoyed as an undergraduate. However, through the good graces of the Office of Private Practice, the ingenuity of Pfizer, and my summer employer’s largesse, I was finally able to again travel abroad. Thus, soon after my summer position ended, my lovely girlfriend and I set out for Europe. What follows are observations from that trip, and an exhortation: Treat yo’ self!

We began our journey in the Netherlands. My first impression was of the linguistic prowess of the Dutch: Everyone I encountered spoke incredible English, and, while I first felt presumptuous blithely beginning conversations abroad in my own tongue, I soon gave in. The highlight of my visit was Amsterdam’s canal system, which can be explored by renting a boat and cruising through it on your own. I can’t take credit for this idea—my college roommate lives in the city and was our intrepid guide—but it was something I can’t recommend enough to anyone visiting Amsterdam.

Pictured: The author at the Milan Cathedral

We then left Holland for Brussels, where I fell in love with the neo-Gothic architecture and the art museum. Our hotel was a couple blocks from Brussels’ Grand Place, one of the most stunning city centers I’ve seen. While the European Parliament was underwhelming, the Royal Museums of Fine Arts of Belgium were a must-see. To my delight, there I turned the corner and found one of my favorite pieces of art—The Death of Marat by Jacques-Louis David. I was unaware the museum housed the piece (a mere replica is in the Louvre!), and stumbling upon it made me giddy.

After Brussels, we flew to Florence, where my girlfriend found us an incredible Airbnb with a rooftop view of the Florence Cathedral and the Palazzo Vecchio—the same view sketched by Hannibal Lecter from his prison cell in Silence of the Lambs. Florence was beautiful, and the exterior of the Florence Cathedral is perhaps the most impressive man-made structure I have ever seen (my lovely companion, who has traveled to India, thought it comparable to the Taj Mahal). However, our time in Florence was the first time I ever felt truly swamped by fellow travelers. I would only return in the offseason, perhaps February, when the city’s attractions are not so crowded that they cease ticket sales for certain attractions, as they did during our trip.

            We then rented a car in Florence and, applying my rusty skills with a manual transmission, drove into rural Tuscany, where several of the most memorable episodes of our trip occurred. To begin with, we found ourselves in Italy during Ferragosto, an ancient Italian holiday held each year on August 15, but which is generally treated as a long summer holiday, with many Italian businesses closing for weeks. The Italians forced to work during the holiday take on the attitude of an American clocking a long day on the Fourth of July. As a result, we were forced to check ourselves into our hotel through a key hidden in the bushes adjacent to the building and to largely find our own entertainment. The next day, we drove to Siena and discovered that, by mere happenstance, we had wandered into the city on the day of “Il Palio”—a horse race that might be described as Italy’s Kentucky Derby. Luckily for us, we were able to simply take a bus into the city to observe, without any ticket, one of the country’s biggest annual events. I had never previously rented a car abroad, but I hope to do it on all my future travels—it affords you the freedom to roam and stumble upon things in a style that, despite Europe’s excellent mass transit, is simply not possible when traveling by train.

The last leg of the trip, in Milan, was a little calmer, but we still made time for some sightseeing. On our final day there, we toured the Milanese business district, where there are glass skyscrapers reminiscent of Chicago and New York, but with more of a European feel, given the extensive greenspaces between the buildings and the less frenetic pace on the streets. And, furthermore, finally satiated on Italian cuisine, we did an “Asian Food in Milan Day.” It was one of the culinary highlights of the whole vacation. Lamb vindaloo, it turns out, is delicious anywhere.

As I flew home, I reflected on the past two weeks in Europe with gratitude—gratitude heightened by the challenges of the past two years. I’ve enjoyed law school, but navigating it has been no easy task. Taking this opportunity for a trip was a way to reward myself, and I hope all my readers, when time and money allows, also reward themselves for all the hard work and mental strain of law school. I’m glad I did.

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dnc9hu@virginia.edu

The Worst Summer Associate

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Anne Reyna ‘23
Staff Writer

Well, well, well, if it isn’t all of my favorite and least favorite peers back on Grounds for another thrilling, yet predictable, year in the oh-so-glamorous Charlottesville, Virginia. I’d like to specifically welcome back all the 3Ls who moved up a tax bracket this summer and finally made their parents proud of them; it’s been a longtime coming guys, but we finally did it. While life as a 3L will no doubt only consist of bar trip planning and eating at all the expensive Charlottesville restaurants we couldn’t afford before, I did miraculously find time in my schedule to offer some insight into summer associate life for those less fortunate non-3Ls. So, let’s get right to it. While most of you will waste your time going through the “how was your summer” pleasantries, I skipped right to the important part and asked the real hard-hitting journalism question everyone wanted the answer to:What summer associate drama did everyone get up to while still securing that BigLaw job offer?

On an official note, the Law Weekly of course does not endorse or recommend any of the following actions, as hiring results will vary greatly by firm. For example, there’s no telling whether a firm like Watham and Latkins will tolerate the same shenanigans as Kooley. And before OPP starts having a panic attack, we must disclose that none of these stories are about any flawless UVA Law students, who are model summer associates swimming in job offers and spectacular end-of-summer reviews. Instead, all of these occurrences are about students from much weirder, less collegial schools with inferior career departments who forgot to tell them not to light anything on fire in the office over the summer.[1]

Despite the overwhelming data that 97 percent of summer associates received an offer from their summer firm,[2] there will always be that little voice inside your head saying, “Oh no, they hate me, why would they hire me, I’m an idiot.” As a certified voice of reason, I’m here to help you squash your fears and hopefully save you from being that summer associate who has so much no-offer anxiety that they never shut up about it. So first, let’s hear what a 3L at a big New York firm had to say about her summer class: “My summer class was definitely one that pushed the boundaries of the firm and probably what the partners were comfortable with. We had one summer associate who vlogged her entire summer experience and uploaded it to YouTube, including footage of partners’ house parties and riding in their cars, as well as all around the office, which everyone found pretty weird and invasive, but not only did she get an offer, they also doubled her scholarship to entice her to return.” Another 3L New York summer described her summer class as “brave, but also crazy,” as she described how one summer associate once felt some slight homophobia among some of the older partners, so she decided to take it upon herself to serenade these partners by singing “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry at a small firm karaoke event. Not only did this summer receive an offer, they also asked her to conduct interviews at her school’s OCI for them.

Now you might be thinking, “Okay, those things are pretty interesting things to do at a job, but what if I seriously screw up?” Well, have I got more stories for you. A summer associate from D.C. had this to say about his small summer class: “Going into the summer, I thought D.C. was going to be a lot more competitive, given the smaller class sizes. While New York firms have fifty-plus summer associates, most D.C. firms have less than twenty, so it’s a little harder to blend into the background. However, after I saw one of my other summer associates repeatedly be denied alcohol at an open-bar event for being too intoxicated and then not only watched him pass out, but also his date, I for sure thought he was done for. And yet, when offers started going out, he received one, just like the rest of us, and I realized I was being stupid for thinking my typos would do me in.” Some other stories that resulted in job offers include taking your shirt off at a firm event, being caught smoking questionably legal substances on the firm’s rooftop, wearing shorts to the office, and the most cardinal sin of all: replying all to every email this summer.

So, all you 1L and 2L private sector sellout wannabes, if you’re worrying about how serious the no-offer curse is, relax. It will probably be fine. I mean, summer associates have definitely been fired for less, don’t get me wrong, but, you know, good luck.

Sincerely, an exhausted but employed 3L.

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agr5ag@virginia.edu

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[1] A true story.

[2] According to the National Association for Law Placement

Perspectives on Choosing Your Own Academic Adventure

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Anna Bninski ‘23
Features Editor

Two semesters to go. While I’ll be delighted to finish law school, with the ticking of the clock comes a certain pressure to make good course selections. And, despite having been through the course lottery and add-drop rigamarole before,[1] with each new semester, I find myself making an unrealistically long list of courses, planning to attend as many first classes as I can before settling into a final schedule for the semester.

However, this course-hopping is inefficient and unnecessarily stressful. So, driven by curiosity, indecision, and a need to provide content for our first Law Weekly issue of the semester, I embarked on some highly unscientific research into what my peers prioritize when choosing their classes. (Sorry, 1Ls. You will get to make decisions eventually.[2])

Professors Do Matter (And Subject Matter Might)

“I prioritize professor reputation,” said Shinae Yoon ’23, who’s signed up to take her third class with the legendarily popular Professor Cathy Hwang. “I’m pointedly avoiding things I might encounter in practice because I figured 3L was a good opportunity to explore, so I’m in National Security Law and the Community Solutions Clinic.”

Shinae’s approach made me second-guess the priority I’d placed on bar subject classes when I first put together my schedule. After all, I’ll have to study for the bar anyway…why not have some very expensive intellectual fun this semester?[3]

Other students, while emphasizing the importance of enjoying a given professor’s teaching style, weighed subject matter more heavily. Being interested in the topic of the course was the “number one thing” for an anonymous member of the Class of 2023, who declined to speak on record due to their candor about other course-selection factors (keep reading for the good stuff).

Timing

“I try not to have anything before 9 a.m. or after 3 p.m., unless it’s a night class,” said Jennifer Scherschel ’23, who enjoys having a chunk of clear time in which to do her reading.

In a similar boat, Chris Nolan ’24 packed his schedule with morning classes. “It didn’t feel limiting,” he explained, noting that the large number of early courses enabled him to keep his afternoons pretty clear, even without making convenience the number one priority in his planning.[4]

Students’ priorities reflect many commonalities (who doesn’t love a free Friday?) and also unique concerns. Vanessa Rodrigues Moody ’23 decided to “do something different this semester” regarding timing. A brain tumor survivor, Vanessa organized her schedule around “later class options and classes that meet once or twice a week, instead of three times.” The later schedule allows Vanessa to manage morning migraines with medication and safely drive herself to school. “Hopefully, that means I can enjoy the learning much more—and also enjoy my days off more!”          

Real Talk from Anonymous Sources

When off the record, members of the 2L and 3L classes shared tips for minimizing academic pain and suffering. “I look at the cold-call-to-reading ratio,” one shared. With this framework, a class with light reading and considerable cold calling is fine, as is a class with heavy reading and no cold calls. Lots of reading andcold calls? That’s a combination sure to provoke semester-long sorrow.

Another student opined that anyone not using vagrades.com is missing out on critical info. Knowing that virtually everyone will get a B+, say, allows the student to spend time more effectively by concentrating on classes with the potential for higher grades.

A classmate offered some hard and fast rules: “No Friday class. Nothing after 5 p.m. on Thursday.”[5]

Can I utilize all of these tips to forge the perfect schedule this semester? Probably not, but perhaps you will join me in trying.

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amb6ag@virginia.edu

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[1] For the 1L readers who have yet to experience course selection: The Law School, unlike UVA’s undergraduate College and many other institutions, does not simply have students sign up for their courses at an individual allotted time, but rather has them rank their choices and hope. (Detailed information on this process is available on LawWeb.)

[2] Sophia Hernandez Tragesser ’24 summarized the process of navigating the lottery in combination with Add/Drop: “My first step is to flag all the classes that pique my interest, either because of their content or the professor. Then I organize them by their time slots and do a March Madness of sorts to decide which competing classes in the same bracket will move on to my top choice. Once I have an optimal set of classes that don't conflict, I assess the damage done by the 3Ls who already got their classes. I make my [course lottery] bids based on which classes have the fewest spots left.” (After switching in three classes during Add/Drop, Sophia reported that she is happy with her schedule.)

[3] $10,000 less expensive than I’d planned for! A drop in the student loan bucket, but a very welcome drop, given the Law School’s predilection for hiking up tuition.

[4] This author felt limited! The overlapping M/T/W/TH 11:30 a.m. time slot was so loaded up with good options this semester that I found myself completely unable to choose a class, and will probably end up taking nothing at all in that slot out of pure indecision.

[5] Shoutout to those who endured Professional Responsibility until 8 p.m. on Thursdays last semester.