Naked Mole-Rats II: Ugly Essentials

Virginia Law Weekly March 23, 2023

Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Executive Editor Emeritus

In my last article, I discussed many of the basic physical characteristics of naked mole-rats. Even those were bizarre, but the main focus of that article was on the infinitely more bizarre social structure of a naked mole-rat colony. These mammals live in groups which more closely resemble colonies of insects than the mammalian social structures we know. However, that article should not be taken to imply that the social structure of naked mole-rats is the craziest thing about these extraordinary little aliens. These mammals have been the subject of significant scientific research to discover both the “how” and the “why” of many of their physical characteristics.

Thermoconformers

Mammals are notoriously thermoregulators—they maintain their body temperature within a specific and fairly narrow range. For instance, humans generally range from ninety-seven to ninety-nine degrees Fahrenheit. We expend energy to keep our body temperature within that range. This is how all mammals function—except for one.

Naked mole-rats are thermoconformers. This means that their body temperature conforms to the temperature of the environment around them. Because they live in burrows, the underground temperature is fairly consistent. Further, this adaptation is undeniably beneficial in their low-resource environment. Because their body temperature conforms to the temperature of their environment, they need not expend significant resources heating and cooling their bodies, like all other mammals.

Some argue that naked mole-rats are not true thermoconformers, but rather behavioral thermoregulators. This is based on evidence that, at temperatures above twenty-nine degrees Celsius, naked mole-rats will retreat deeper into the cooler areas of their burrows. And in cooler temperatures, naked mole-rats will huddle together, or congregate near the entrances to their burrow, where the sun is stronger.[1] So, some argue that they regulate their temperature through behaviors.

Pain Tolerance

In addition to being pink, hairless, and wrinkly, naked mole-rats are also immune to certain forms of pain. “[T]his superpower only works with specific chemical stimuli—acid and capsaicin—heat and pressure” are still painful to naked mole-rats.[2] This is because naked mole-rats do not have neurotransmitters in their cutaneous sensory fibers. Or, in English, their skin doesn’t have the nerves necessary to transmit the “pain” sensation.

One theory for why naked mole-rats have gained this adaptation is, again, related to the lack of resources in their environment. Having a less complex nervous system requires less energy—this makes naked mole-rats more efficient in their isolated environment.[3] Another theory posits that this adaptation developed in response to the naked mole-rat’s low oxygen and high carbon dioxide environment. The high levels of carbon dioxide can cause acid buildup in the body tissues of the rodents—this adaptation literally allows them to not experience the pain associated with this acid buildup.

Harnessing the power of this adaptation could help doctors to manage patient pain levels in treatments more effectively. This could be important for those suffering from cancer and arthritis. Acid buildup in the body is a significant contributor to chronic pain for both. If scientists could harness the ability of naked mole-rats to not experience pain resulting from acid, those suffering from cancer and arthritis could eliminate much of their chronic pain.[4]

Oxygen Deprivation

Naked mole-rats are also incredible at surviving in poorly ventilated, low-oxygen tunnels. For one, the hemoglobin in their blood is particularly efficient at oxygen uptake. Further, their respiratory and metabolic rates are far lower than other mammals their size—about 70 percent compared to a mouse—which allows for minimal oxygen use. Couple the two together and you have a rodent that is incredibly efficient at utilizing oxygen while simultaneously needing very little.

In fact, naked mole-rats can survive for at least five hours in an environment which contains only 5 percent oxygen. And they can survive indefinitely in an environment which contains 80 percent carbon dioxide and 20 percent oxygen. To put this into perspective, our atmosphere is 78.08 percent nitrogen, 20.95 percent oxygen, and 0.93 percent argon. Greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, and ozone collectively account for a mere 0.04 percent of our atmosphere.[5] So, carbon dioxide typically makes up only a portion of 0.04 percent of our atmosphere. Bump that up to 80 percent and leave oxygen at about 20 percent, and naked mole-rats would be content.

If that wasn’t crazy enough, naked mole-rats can take this a step further. “Their nerve cells can function for almost one hour in the complete absence of oxygen,”[6] and they seem to experience no negative side effects from being completely without oxygen for eighteen minutes.[7] They do this by switching from glucose to fructose for energy production within the body. Animals typically use glucose in an aerobic reaction—one which requires oxygen—to produce energy. Once a glucose molecule is broken into three smaller carbon molecules by glycolysis, the Krebs Cycle begins, and energy is produced. Naked mole-rats can, however, create energy through another means: fructose-driven glycolysis. Despite being far less efficient at creating energy than glucose-driven glycolysis, fructose-driven glycolysis is an anaerobic reaction, meaning no oxygen is required to produce the energy to keep vital bodily functions going. If this could be harnessed by scientists to aid humans, it could be used to prevent brain damage in patients suffering from strokes and other complications that restrict oxygen flow to the brain.[8]

Cancer Resistance

If the naked mole-rat isn’t your favorite animal by now, I don’t know what else I can say—besides the fact that they are almost entirely resistant to cancer.[9] Scientists aren’t fully sure what it is about naked mole-rats that makes them so cancer resistant, but there are a few theories. The first relates to what are known as “overcrowding” genes. Most mammals, including naked mole-rats, have the gene p27. This gene prevents cell division based on cell density—once cells come into contact with each other and reach a certain density, cell division will no longer occur. This prevents the unrestricted cell proliferation that is quintessential to cancer. While most mammals have the gene p27, naked mole-rats also have the gene p16. The two are both overcrowding genes; however, p16 functions at a much lower cell density than p27. This double layer of protection is believed to contribute to naked mole-rats’ cancer resistance.

In 2013, two other discoveries were made about naked mole-rats that may contribute to their cancer resistance. The first is that they have very high-molecular-mass hyaluronan molecules—five times larger than typical hyaluronan molecules.[10] Additionally, their ribosomes produce extremely error-free proteins, which contributes by limiting the number of mutations. Mutations are what lead to cells which exhibit unrestricted proliferation, so limiting the number of mutations reduces the risk of cancer.

Longevity

Finally, if you thought to yourself, “Maybe the naked mole-rat doesn’t get cancer because it doesn’t live very long,” you would be wrong. Naked mole-rats are the longest-living rodent and have a maximum recorded age of thirty-two years. And, unlike most mammals, their mortality rate does not increase with age.

Explanations for this include the naked mole-rat’s ability to lower its metabolism and the error-free proteins, both discussed above. Finally, both humans and naked mole-rats have higher levels of genes dedicated to repairing DNA than shorter-lived species, like mice.

Conclusion

I’ll keep it short: Naked mole-rats are crazy. They may not be beautiful, they may not be soft and cuddly, but they are incredibly interesting. And part of appreciating nature fully is appreciating things for more than their mere aesthetics. And loving nature is loving things despite their aesthetics. To me, naked mole-rats are ugly essentials, deserving of all the love they don’t receive.

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

[1] As with the last article, assume all uncited information is supported by Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_mole-rat. I’m not entirely sure how this evidence is incompatible with the thermoconformer hypothesis. It seems to me that seeking out warmer or cooler environments to maintain a comfortable internal temperature is entirely consistent with maintaining an internal temperature consistent with the environment—otherwise known as thermoconforming.

[2] Ewan St. John Smith, Meet the Naked Mole-rat: Impervious to Pain and Cancer, and Lives Ten Times Longer than It Should (June 17, 2019) https://theconversation.com/meet-the-naked-mole-rat-impervious-to-pain-and-cancer-and-lives-ten-times-longer-than-it-should-118809. Capsaicin is what gives chili peppers their spiciness. It is a chemical irritant and neurotoxin for mammals.

[3] Elizabeth Pennisi, How Naked Mole Rats Conquered Pain—And What It Could Mean for Us (Oct. 11, 2016), https://www.science.org/content/article/how-naked-mole-rats-conquered-pain-and-what-it-could-mean-us#:~:text=Although%20it%20has%20a%20face,pain%20from%20injury%20and%20inflammation.

[4] Smith, supra note 2.

[5] Alan Buis, The Atmosphere: Getting a Handle on Carbon Dioxide, NASA (Oct. 9, 2019), https://climate.nasa.gov/news/2915/the-atmosphere-getting-a-handle-on-carbon-dioxide/#:~:text=By%20volume%2C%20the%20dry%20air,methane%2C%20nitrous%20oxide%20and%20ozone.

[6] Smith, supra note 2.

[7] Park et al., Fructose-driven Glycolysis Supports Anoxia Resistance in the Naked Mole-rat, Science (Apr. 21, 2017), https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aab3896.

[8] Smith, supra note 2.

[9] They are also not my favorite animal, to be clear.

[10] I simply do not understand how this has an impact, but allegedly it does.

The Four Functions of the UVA SBA

Virginia Law Weekly March 15, 2023

Jacob Smith '23
Professor Liason Editor

We have just held Law-School-wide elections over who will lead the Student Bar Association, or SBA. But what does SBA do? Well, SBA does basically four things. It runs events, represents students, recognizes student organizations, and provides information to the student body.

Planning Events

Here is SBA’s greatest power: the ability to spend lots of money on bringing students together. Say what you will about SBA, it plans an impressive array of events. There’s all the Bar Reviews. There’s Barrister’s and Fauxfield. There’s the Spies Garden social events, and Feb Club, and special events for 3Ls, and the list goes on. Outgoing president Juhi Desai ’23 estimated that if you count everything that someone from SBA is involved with, SBA has a hand in fifty to sixty events per year.

That’s a big responsibility, and one that our incoming and outgoing presidents have taken seriously. When asked about her proudest accomplishments as president, Desai was quick to point to Mental Health Week, as well as an event about the Jackson, Mississippi water crisis that SBA co-sponsored and the Law Weekly covered.[1] Incoming president Tommy Cerja ’24 has given events a lot of thought, too. Along with bigger venues, better DJs, and cheaper tickets, Cerja would like to co-sponsor more events with student organizations, with the idea of basically letting them throw a party on SBA’s dime. He also intends to arrange a big fall competition that he described as the equivalent of bringing Darden Cup to the Law School.

Representing Students

Now we get to SBA’s most solemn function: SBA as the student body’s voice. For example, the SBA president nominates students to provide representation on faculty committees dealing with items such as curriculum, public service, and new faculty hiring. The SBA president also meets with Dean Sarah Davies ’91 every week, and less frequently with Law School Dean Risa Goluboff, providing an opportunity to ask questions or pass along concerns on behalf of other students.

More formally, SBA can officially take a position on a topic. SBA’s bylaws provide for resolutions, defined as “statement[s] of the sentiment of the Student Body.”[2] According to the bylaws, SBA can pass a resolution in one go with a three-fourths vote, or by a more involved three-step process that requires two majority votes at separate meetings, with email notice to the student body in between those meetings.[3] SBA has not passed any resolutions recently, although, in November, SBA did apparently endorse another organization’s letter without going through the formal resolution process.[4] However, Cerja wants to give SBA a more active role in speaking out on behalf of the student body. He told me he hopes to shift SBA away from its traditional ideological neutrality and put out more statements.

Recognizing Student Organizations

SBA also has a role in recognizing new student organizations. While the SBA constitution says nothing about that power, it has long been accepted practice that SBA screens new student organizations before their applications reach Student Affairs.[5] Recognition is important for student clubs because it lets them access resources such as Law School Foundation funding and room reservations. SBA’s approval process isn’t especially rigorous: Desai said, “Generally, we’re going to vote it up.” However, SBA officials get the chance to ask questions about the proposed organization, hoping to verify that it has a viable future at the Law School.

It could have been otherwise. The UVA Student Council requires Main Grounds groups to have hosted at least three meetings (not including interest meetings and social gatherings) and to have at least ten committed members before they will be approved.[6] And at some law schools, I’m told the SBA’s power extends to approving club budgets.

Providing Information

The final function SBA performs is simply providing information. This is most visible in SBA’s Monday Mail newsletter. But SBA also has an outline bank and other resources on its website.[7] Less obviously, students can contact their SBA president and other representatives with questions. Like your local state senator, SBA people may be more informed about how the Law School runs and what’s going on behind the scenes, so it can be worth pulling one of them aside.

So What?

Having learned about SBA’s functions, you may be wondering what this means for you. Well, one takeaway is thankfulness. SBA does a lot to represent you behind the scenes—they give you free outlines, and, if nothing else, they are a very competent party-planning crew. But should topics other than gratitude cross your mind, why don’t you let your representatives know how they can better serve you? Cerja plans to give affinity groups better representation on the Diversity Advisory Committee, and to set up an anonymous Google Form for event feedback so that the disaffected don’t have to resort to Reddit tirades. But the most straightforward path of communication hasn’t gone away either: Simply reach out to your president, or another elected official, such as your class senator. During Desai’s term, students would typically contact her multiple times a week on a variety of topics—including everything from airing grievances to asking about how to reserve a room. You’re only an email away.

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js3hp@virginia.edu

[1] For coverage, see Ethan Brown, Professor, Activist, and Student Leader Investigate Jackson, MS Water Crisis (Nov. 9, 2022), https://www.lawweekly.org/front-page/2022/11/9/professor-activist-and-student-leader-investigate-jackson-ms-water-crisis.

[2] SBA Bylaws, Art. IV, Sec. 1 (last amended July 15, 2020).

[3] Id. at Section 2.

[4] See SBA Minutes, Nov. 29, 2022, available at https://www.uvasba.com/general-5-4.

[5] This function is covered extensively by the SBA Bylaws, Art. X.

[6] See UVA Student Council, Applying for CIO Status, https://www.uvastudco.com/org-rec (last visited March 12, 2023).

[7] See https://www.uvasba.com/. SBA also has a Twitter account, @UVASBA, but it has been silent since 2020.

Long Distance Love Languages: The Sequel

Virginia Law Weekly March 15, 2023

Julia D'Rozario ’24
New Media Editor

A year ago, I wrote an article called “Long Distance Love Languages”[1] about keeping in touch with old friends. It was objectively mushy and very niche—basically just a love letter to my childhood best friends—but it resonated with some who read it. I wrote about the beauty of old friendships and the unique connections that grow when you’ve known someone for what feels like a lifetime.

Sometimes, I feel like my friends know me better than I know myself. They still see me as I was when I was a kid, unclouded by whatever circumstances are currently preoccupying me or affecting my demeanor. Maintaining connections with old friends takes work, especially when there’s distance involved… but it’s so incredibly rewarding. I’m grateful every day for how close we’ve stayed over the last decade and a half.

In last year’s article, I shared three tips for maintaining friendships across time zones, countries, and continents. Today, inspired by my spring break, I’m sharing two more:

1) Plan a trip.

Over spring break, I had the opportunity to go on holiday with my friends. It was an absolute dream come true (not to mention, it was literally the only thing in the world that could have granted me the strength to return for another half semester). It was a complete reset—I didn’t realize how unrested I had been feeling.

I think the emotional reset came from getting to spend a week just being, without “performing.”

I don’t mean “performing” in a bad way. I don’t know if this is just me, but I feel like I became an actual person when I was… seventeen? Maybe sixteen. It took me that long to become comfortable with the little behaviors and niceties that make up human interactions. Children don’t instinctively have the self-awareness to understand how they’re being perceived by others and to adopt habits that align with the society around them. They’re just sweet, chaotic little monsters, running around with limited impulse control and emotional regulation, being completely themselves without regard for what it means to exist amongst people. By the time we get a little older, we learn how to “perform”—how to keep being social when our battery runs out, how to make small talk without looking distracted, etc. It’s a good thing. But it’s exhausting.

The thing about friends who knew you before you knew how to perform is that… you don’t have to perform. You know each other’s social battery life, so there are no hard feelings when one person goes to bed at 6 p.m. They know the subtle difference between your “ask-me-what’s-wrong” face and your “don’t-ask-me-what’s-wrong” face. You don’t need to explain anything because they know your quirks already.

The lack of performance allows you to revert to a sort of childlike consciousness, which leaks into the rest of your life. I experienced the week with more wonderment than I’ve felt in years. Every laugh was a full-on fit of giggles.

2) Take so, so many photos.

The passage of time is relentless, and human memory is extremely imperfect. I feel like I graduated middle school yesterday, but I know logically that many of the memories I hold dear are distorted.

Even worse, I know that many of the joyful, funny, silly moments I’ve experienced in my life are forgotten. This became abundantly clear to me on my holiday. Two of us were discussing a school trip we had been on twelve years ago, and our memories overlapped so much less than I thought they would for having been on the exact same trip.

I remember leaving Nutella in the panini maker, attracting thousands of ants into the house, and laughing about it until our sides hurt; she had no memory of Nutella paninis. She, on the other hand, remembered watching the sun set over a beautiful black sand beach. Apparently, I was right there and loving it, but I unfortunately had no memory whatsoever of any beautiful black sand beaches. Now, I wouldn’t trade my Nutella panini memories for anything in the world—but I can’t help but feel disappointed that I’ve apparently experienced joy that no longer “exists” in my mind. Is an experience still life-changing and memorable if it doesn’t change your life and isn’t retained as a memory?

This is where photos come in. Don’t underestimate the power of visual stimuli. One seemingly random photo can open the floodgates to a million buried memories. Looking back more than a decade in my camera roll, I found a picture from the trip—a nondescript selfie on a nondescript field trip bus—and it’s like something unlocked. I remembered where we went on that bus (a black sand beach). I remembered a tree house, which my friend remembered, too. I remembered a million other tiny, happy moments.

I strongly believe that cherishing these moments—by holding on to the ones that have passed and continuing to create more—is a cornerstone of lasting love.

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jkd2dd@virginia.edu

[1] See Julia D’Rozario, Long Distance Love Languages: The Definitive Guide to Keeping in Touch with Old Friends, Virginia Law Weekly Apr. 6, 2022, at 3.

A Charlottesville Crash Course for Admitted Students

Virginia Law Weekly March 15, 2023

Ethan Brown '25
Features Editor

For two days, on Thursday, March 16 and Friday, March 17, several hundred individuals admitted to our dear Law School will descend on Charlottesville for a jam-packed forty-eight hours of seminars, information sessions, mock classes, and networking. When I attended Admitted Students Weekend (“ASW”) last year, I absolutely loved it. I came away from the experience feeling extremely excited about the prospect of attending UVA Law, and I hope that every admitted student who joins us this year feels the same way.[1]

But I also remember feeling a little disappointed that I hadn’t been able to spend any time exploring the area during my visit.[2] So, in the hopes that some plucky admitted student picks up a copy of this week’s Virginia Law Weekly as they meander around the school, desperately trying to find Slaughter Hall,[3] here are my tips for maximizing any free weekend time in Charlottesville:

1. Go to Cou Cou Rachou.

This is the first item on the list because it is unquestionably the most important. Cou Cou Rachou is a delectable French bakery just a five minute drive from North Grounds, and if you have a car and more than 300 seconds of free time during your stay in Charlottesville, you simply must go. The vibes are immaculate, the pastries are delicious, and the outdoor patio is precious (and warm!). I recommend stopping by and grabbing their cardamom braid as well as their egg and spinach quiche, because if you have to spend your travel stipend for ASW on something, it might as well be a pleasant breakfast.[4] I evangelize this restaurant like nobody’s business, and since I’m a “journalist” in the most charitable sense of the word, you can trust me.

2. Check out Main Grounds.

UVA Law students sit in our little brutalist ivory tower up here on North Grounds, and by virtue of our building being a mile or so away from Main Grounds, we rarely have to interact with the University’s undergraduate population. On the whole, I consider that to be a pretty fantastic attribute of UVA Law. But I highly encourage all admitted students—particularly ones who haven’t been to Charlottesville before—to at least take a short stroll around Main Grounds, particularly The Lawn.

If you’ve seen any UVA promotional material in your life, you’ve seen the Rotunda and The Lawn, and very rightfully so. These historic portions of UVA’s undergraduate campus make up one of only twenty-four UNESCO World Heritage Sites in the United States. I’m lowkey an architecture nerd, particularly when it comes to colleges and universities,[5] and UVA takes the cake in creating a captivating common space at the heart of its campus. I make a point of going through Main Grounds on my morning runs, so I see it often. But even if you aren’t planning on making frequent stops to the undergraduate campus during your time here, I recommend checking it out at least once. I promise it will get you excited about joining this institution.

3. Stroll around Ragged Mountain Natural Area and Reservoir.

Another stone’s throw from North Grounds is Ragged Mountain, a beautiful outdoor space with hiking and biking trails, ample parking, and stunning views of the Charlottesville metropolitan area. While I have my designated areas around Charlottesville for my trademark Hot-Gay-Boy Walks,[6] Ragged Mountain is my go-to place for more solemn and reflective walks, the sort we all inevitably have when the stress of law school and the fear of eventual oblivion set in. I know that might not sound like the greatest sales pitch. But it’s still a gorgeous place for a stroll!

4. See how people here actually interact with each other when the dust of ASW settles.

This is probably the hardest thing to do with limited time, but the point of ASW is to show prospective students that their lives at UVA Law will not only be tolerable, but enjoyable. I think that our Admissions Department does a great job of doing that, but obviously, every law school puts a veneer on things—until you matriculate here, or at any other institution, it’s hard to encapsulate the intangibles of a law school experience. And at risk of seeming like too strong of a simp for UVA Law, which I deeply fear will undermine my credibility as this paper’s premier snarky satire writer,[7] I do think this Law School is special.

People here generally like each other. We aren’t competitive, or at least not in a way that’s toxic, like it is at other schools. And by and large, even though law school is stressful, almost everyone I know is still happy to be here. It can be difficult to see those intangible elements for yourself, even as you’re told them over and over again by professors and administrators during ASW, so try and stick around the Law School for a few minutes once it’s over on Saturday. You’ll see people spending time with each other and actually seeming to like each other’s company; you’ll come across the clusters of 1Ls studying and helping each other through tough Property cases; and you’ll bear witness to the moments of unadulterated joy, like those that come from the discovery of a loose Starburst on the floor outside Student Affairs. These small moments make UVA Law the special place it is.

With that, I wish all ASW attendees the happiest of stays in Charlottesville and the best of luck wherever their law school admissions journey takes them, though I sure hope it ends in a return trip to C’ville this August.

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

[1] Except the ones who come to ASW and subsequently feel the compulsive need to tell every person they meet that they’re deciding between here and Harvard. I don’t need y’all messing up the vibe.

[2] Which, to be fair, I knew I would not not see much of during my first year of law school. But don’t undersell the significance of liking the place you’re about to spend three years of your life living in!

[3] See Ethan Brown During His Own ASW, March 17, 2022.

[4] Don’t forget your travel subsidy, y’all! ASW attendees get up to $400 reimbursed, with no need to produce receipts, depending on geographic origin.

[5] This is genuinely the most embarrassing sentence I’ve written in the Law Weekly, and this is coming from the man who somehow managed to write 2,300 words about The White Lotus.

[6] TikTok hasn’t caught onto them yet, smh.

[7] A self-appointed title.

Naked Mole-rats: Mammals or Aliens?

Virginia Law Weekly March 15, 2023

Jonathan Peterson ‘23
Staff Editor

If Dr. Evil was to own a rodent, it would be the naked mole-rat. Science’s vertebrate of the year in 2013, the naked mole-rat is perhaps most well-known for it’s hairlessness. However, this mammal has a variety of other characteristics which are less well-known, yet each are crazier than the last. Ranging from being one of the only eusocial mammals to being nearly completely cancer resistant, these mammals are perhaps more alien than any other mammal on Earth.

Description

Naked mole-rats are found in the drier parts of the tropical grasslands of East Africa, predominantly southern Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia.[1] These incestuous and xenophobic mammals are small, with individuals typically ranging between three and four inches long and weighing 1.1 to 1.2 ounces. They have small eyes and poor eyesight as a result of living in low-light tunnels which can stretch up to three cumulative miles. However, their short and thin legs are highly adept at maneuvering in this environment and allow them to move backwards just as quickly as forwards. And, in order to help them dig, over a quarter of the total musculature of the naked mole-rat is devoted to shutting their jaws. Further, their front teeth protrude outside of their mouths, allowing their lips to seal behind their teeth while digging. This prevents the rodent from swallowing much of the dirt that it excavates. These small rodents are, as the name suggests, almost completely hairless and have loose and wrinkly skin. And that’s about everything “normal” about the naked mole-rat.

Society

One of the most bizarre facts about the naked mole-rat is that it is one of the only eusocial mammals in the world. Eusociality describes how a species is structured socially. Common examples of eusocial animals are ants, termites, and some bees and wasps. Some of the essential traits of eusociality is caring for young and labor divisions. Naked mole-rats express both of these characteristics.

Naked mole-rats are divided into roughly two social castes: reproducing and non-reproducing. Each colony has one queen and between one and three reproductive males. Queens are significantly larger than the other members of the colony, clocking in at about 1.8 ounces, with some recorded weighing as much as 2.8 ounces. However, these morphological differences are not pre-existing in naked mole-rats who eventually become queens. Studies done on queens before and after they attained the position reveal that, prior to being a queen, they are the same size as the rest of the colony. So, the size of a queen is not a result of pre-existing morphological differences between individuals, but rather it is the result of the attainment of the position itself. In simpler terms: it isn’t that big naked mole-rats become queens, but that when a naked mole-rat becomes a queen, it gets big.

Queens attain their position either by founding new colonies, fighting for the dominant position, or stepping in without conflict once the reproducing female dies. Because of the potentially violent transitions of power in naked mole-rat colonies, queens are extremely hostile to other females that begin behaving like queens or producing the hormones necessary to become a queen. This is not true of reproducing males, however. These males are selected by the queen herself and may have relationships with the queen that last for many years while the other members of the colony remain sterile.

The second broad group of naked mole-rats are the workers. Worker’s roles are decided along a continuum of behaviors as opposed to distinct groups. For example, larger naked mole-rats typically spend more time defending the burrow from invaders, whereas smaller naked mole-rats will spend more time tunneling, harvesting food, and caring for young. Despite this size-based division of labor, naked mole-rats do not divvy behaviors up into discrete groups, like some other eusocial animals. For example, a naked mole-rat that was tunneling one day might be defending the colony the next and raising young the day after that.

Another division in naked mole-rat society exists within the working class—there are “frequent” and “infrequent” workers. Frequent workers are, as their name suggests, frequently working at tasks like foraging and nest building. Infrequent workers, however have role overlap with frequent workers, however they perform tasks at a much slower rate. So, they’re either lazy or simply inept.

Finally, and in my opinion, most interestingly, there is a third discrete group of naked mole-rats within this social structure: the dispersers. For lack of a better way to say it, I am astonished that a role like the disperser has managed to form in a mammalian culture. Living in a society with a single queen breeding with one to three other males leads to a high statistical chance of experiencing the harms associated with inbreeding. Couple this with the fact that, if a colony does well, this setup will continue down from mothers and fathers to sons and daughters, ideally forever. So, the disperser’s job is the direct opposite: outbreeding. These naked mole-rats are, relative to the other sterile workers in their colony, “[b]ig, fat, lazy, and sexually-charged.”[2] However, despite being the horniest of the working class, these rodents have no desire to mate within their own colony. Instead, they are born with significantly higher fat reserves and are massively different hormonally—both of these factors make them capable of and more likely to depart from their colony in search of, you guessed it, sex. Not only are these naked mole-rats born to leave, but they seem to never fit in while they stay—they are lazy and work poorly with the group. What I find to be most interesting about this is wondering how this mechanism to avoid inbreeding developed.[3] This is because the existence of a disperser has no direct benefit to the naked mole-rat colony the disperser originates from—the disperser simply leaves and benefits a different colony by increasing its genetic diversity. This reaps no rewards for the disperser’s original colony.[4] In fact, the only way the original colony could benefit from the existence of this role is if they are lucky enough to have another colony’s disperser drop by for a little afternoon delight.[5]

Despite this being the end of this article, there are countless other facts about the naked mole rat that I have not covered here. Accordingly, I will be releasing another article, Naked Mole-rats: Mammals or Aliens Part Two—Definitely Aliens. In that article, I will discuss some of the most absurd physical features of the naked mole-rats, including their unique style of thermoregulation, lack of pain sensitivity in their skin, extreme resistance to cancer, ability to survive in obscenely low oxygen levels, and their incredible longevity.

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

[1] Naked Mole-rat, Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_mole-rat (last visited March 12, 2023). Assume that any information in this article comes from Wikipedia unless cited otherwise.

[2] Lindell Bromham & Paul H. Harvey, Behavioral Ecology: Naked Mole-rats on the Move, 6 Current Bio 1082, 1082 (1996) (available at https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(02)70671-4?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982202706714%3Fshowall%3Dtrue).

[3] This is incredibly important for naked mole-rats, because two colony mates (i.e., a queen and a reproducing male from the same colony) are more genetically similar than siblings in species that outbreed. In fact, the only way they could be more genetically similar is if they were monozygotic twins—or twins that originate from the same fertilized egg, and thus share identical DNA. Id.

[4] This is not, however, unique to naked mole-rats. Termites, for example, have winged dispersers. I believe that ant colonies also produce winged dispersers. What I find absurd is that this behavior has developed in a eusocial mammalian culture.

[5] This joke shouldn’t be meant to imply that dispersers are roving sex addicts; they depart their colony, find a new one, and remain with it until their death.

5 Ways to Spend $500

Virginia Law Weekly March 15, 2023

Dana Lake ‘23
Former EIC

Bar course signup season has ended, and actual bar prep season fast approaches. While Themis and other companies open the gunner doors at the end of March for early studiers, the recommended start date in May looms large in the distance. And what better way to prepare for bar prep than to instead turn our attention toward online shopping?

If you received a gift card as part of your incentive package when choosing a bar course, check the expiration date. For Themis, the expiration date is six months from activation, which puts it right at the end of May for most people.

Law students don’t need to be told how to spend a couple hundred dollars. We blow through money like no other group of people. But there are ways to spend a bonus that won’t necessarily expand the amount of stuff you have to schlep across the country when you start work next fall.

Whatever your feelings on the use-it-or-lose-it strategy these companies employ, we can all agree losing it isn’t an option. If you haven’t been spending it down over the last few months and still have a bunch of funds left, here are five ideas to help you meet the deadline.

Money Laundering

This is the preferred method if you aren’t looking to actually buy 500 bucks worth of stuff right before you have to pack up your whole life and move after graduation. Use your card to cover a group online food order, or some other shared cost, that people will Venmo you for. In one easy move, you have converted your highly restrained virtual gift card into actual money that won’t expire. If your friends are also a bunch of law students with their own gift cards to use up, you can beat them to the punch, thanks to your loyal Law Weeklyreadership.

Buy a Gas Card

This sort of transfers the problem from one gift card to another, but at least a gas card won’t expire. Pre-pay for your summer driving (and summer road-trip snacks) with a card from Wawa or your gas station of choice. Most let you buy in whole-dollar increments, so if you haven't touched your card at all, you can do a clean transfer of all $500.

Online Grocery Shopping

Walmart+, Whole Foods, and other grocery stores that let you order online for pickup or free delivery are an easy way to save money on a bill you were already going to have anyway. If you have a pet, stocking up on their food so they don’t starve while you’re lost in the bar study haze is another option. You can spring for a new water fountain and keep them hydrated through the summer, or if you have a cat, you can try out the fancy cat litter that you would never normally buy.

Pure Consumerism

Well, why not. Treat yourself, as the millennials say. It isn’t often you get a couple hundred dollars earmarked specifically for fun treats; if you are an anxiety shopper, limiting your finals-induced purchases to only the gift card is a way to use it up and also avoid spreading the consumerist contagion to the rest of your bank accounts. A new outfit for graduation, a fancy bag for commuting to the office, various AliExpress impulse purchases—the options are endless. Get ahead on your Christmas or birthday shopping, or buy that pricey crafting item you’ve never been able to justify. Buy an aerogarden and some cool plant pods to bring some greenery and joy into your miserable study den/hovel. The dopamine boost of a new package on the way might be just what you need to keep up your motivation for one last spring semester, and having to go out and pick up the box will at least get you walking once a day.

And as for the Leftovers…

What are you supposed to do with the odd amount of money left over at the end? Most online retailers don’t let you split payments, but there are ways to spend exactly the amount left to get the most out of your gift card. Online donations to most nonprofits, for example, let you choose an exact amount to give, down to the penny. If you have a beloved NPR station you’d like to support (shout out to WLRN, South Florida’s only NPR news station), or random GoFundMe’s that look interesting, the odd forty dollars and change at the end of your card can make a real difference.

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dl9uh@virginia.edu

Disoriented by Pro Bono?

Virginia Law Weekly March 2, 2023

Darius Adel '24
Satire Editor

Last week, I had the pleasure of attending “Pro Bono in BigLaw,” a DisOrientation event put on by UVA’s National Lawyers Guild (NLG) chapter. The discussion was headed by Io Jones ’24 and Sabrina Surgil ’24. For anyone who hasn't been to a DisOrientation before, it is basically a group-led discussion on various topics. Usually, there is an article for attendees to read beforehand which provides background information on whatever is being discussed. Doing the reading is by no means necessary to attend the event, and I’ve rarely done more than a cursory skim the day of.

The discussion was based around the often-lauded pro bono work that Big Law firms do. Specifically, the talk centered around the benefits and harms of pro bono work. I had rarely given pro bono work much thought before attending law school. The public service work I did while working a corporate job before law school was largely undocumented, at least at an hourly rate. To me, pro bono work in Big Law was always thought of as a small side benefit, an avenue by which an attorney could pursue work that was interesting or important to them. I personally find corporate law itself interesting, but I can understand why that may not be the case for everyone. In that sense, pro bono serves as an outlet for work that attorneys are passionate about.

The discussion was largely critical of firm pro bono work. One student spoke about how attorneys working on pro bono projects would abandon their cases midway through because they had run out of pro bono hours. Other students spoke of firm attorneys who handled cases which they were poorly prepared for, resulting in staff attorneys having to come in and fix their mistakes. There were other, similar stories discussed during the event, but the general sentiment was that while they were well-meaning, many firm attorneys did more harm than good.

One of the ideas discussed was that pro bono work is possibly an inefficient way of getting proper legal services to the people who need it. Another issue the group talked about was that some firms would invest pro bono hours into one case, only to make millions on the opposite side when it came to their core business. This issue, where both the firm and lawyers play as both liberators and oppressors, is something anyone going into firm work needs to grapple with. It’s true that not every firm is the same, but there are very few resources through which law students can make those educated distinctions.

Apart from Big Law’s part in the pro bono issue, the group discussed the Law School’s role. Students spoke about the Law School’s heavy focus on private practice, to the detriment of public service. I think anyone who comes to this school can easily see the imbalance. One idea that was raised, which I hadn’t previously even thought about, was that supporting public service could possibly pull students away from the Big Law path and hurt UVA Law’s numbers. I’m not sure if this is true, but given that further support of public service at the school would amount to a relatively small investment, it’s hard to justify why it isn’t being done.

UVA Law does funnel students towards firm work. For some of us, that’s why we came here, but for others, their path was less clear at the outset. For students like that, the school’s inertia is something that is really hard to fight against.

It’s a complicated and hard subject to broach. Attorneys who want to do good work are caught between a desire to help the community and the forces of capitalism. The DisOrientation didn’t come to any firm conclusions, but there was a general sense that change needs to be made when it comes to pro bono work. Just like many issues in the law and beyond, there needs to be a united front. Attorneys from different backgrounds should be made to understand these issues without feeling alienated. Many of these problems are caused by the industry itself, and so it is left to practitioners to ultimately make a change in the system for the better.

I always enjoy when NLG puts on these events because even if I don’t know much about the subjects, I come away from the events having learned a lot. This is a hard subject to discuss for a lot of people, but sometimes it’s better to just rip the Band-Aid off, especially when it’s others who are the real ones suffering. Being able to have an open discussion in a focused environment with people I admire and respect is a beautiful thing, and I wish there was more of it at the Law School.

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dsa7st@virginia.edu

Go Play Outside: My Favorite Things to Do in Charlottesville in Springtime

Virginia Law Weekly March 2, 2023

Nikolai Morse '24
Editor-in-Chief

Upon seeing the ominous headline, “Rain, Some Sleet and Snow Soon,”[1] I found myself wondering why I didn’t stay in the Midwest. At least in Chicago, you know that February is going to be a rough month, but in Charlottesville, you can hope for some truly beautiful weather as what passes for “winter” here winds down. But, as we all know, there can be no despair without hope.[2] And, while I am an eternal optimist, the news that Canada’s groundhog, Fred La Marmotte, was found dead only hours before his Groundhog Day prediction does not bode well.[3] So, in my eternal effort to be an optimist, I will do my best to hope for the speedy arrival of springtime weather. In service of that dream, I will present some of my favorite springtime activities in Charlottesville for your consideration.

Hiking

Alright, hiking is probably the most obvious activity that you can cite when someone asks you for a list of things to do in Charlottesville. But, just like that great quote from The Kite Runner about clichés,[4] it’s #1 for a reason. The hiking in and around Charlottesville is awesome. Whether it’s walking up the Saunders-Monticello Trail or taking a jog around the Ragged Mountain Reservoir, the Blue Ridge Mountain Tunnel, or the UVA classic, Old Rag Mountain, you will never regret a few hours spent getting outside. My biggest gripe about Charlottesville has to do with how UVA students do themselves a massive disservice by only going to bars and vineyards, which in general present the same experience repackaged into different locations.

Breweries

Breweries, on the other hand, are way, way different. For one thing, they serve beer, which is clearly the superior form of soft liquor. For another, rather than people at wineries wearing sundresses and Sperry Top-Siders, breweries have real salt-of-the-earth types. You know, people like me, who wear Sperry Top-Siders at school, but then change into a flannel and a Carhartt beanie. But by far the best reason to get into breweries in Charlottesville is that we have so many great ones, including Random Row, Rockfish, Blue Mountain Brewery,[5] Champion Brewing, and Decipher Brewing.[6] Especially when the weather is good, is there anything better than hanging out with your friends—one of whom preferably has a dog—and grabbing an IPA and a seat outdoors? Even better, why not combine hiking and brewing, and walk on the Rivanna Trail from the Law School to Woolen Mills for a beer at Selvedge Brewing?

Music

Some of you may know, in an abstract sense, that a ton of great music comes to Charlottesville. But again, in the hopes of helping you to actually go see some music other than the Law School band at Crozet,[7] here are a couple of my favorite spots. For the big names, you should go to Ting Pavilion. They get the same caliber of big names as JPJ, but you’re outdoors. So much better. For more medium-sized acts with some really interesting smaller groups, head to the Southern Café and Music Hall, and The Jefferson Theater. As a bonus, the Southern also has open-mic nights every Monday for all you aspiring standup comedians.[8] And for everyone looking to see the hottest act in town—aka your own classmates doing karaoke? Dürty Nelly’s on Wednesday nights. Lastly, you absolutely cannot miss Charlottesville’s best musical event/festival of the year, Porchella. Hosted in this writer’s own neighborhood of Belmont, Porchella is a day of performances by a variety of Charlottesville’s best musicians, held on the front porches of Belmont-ians,[9] and it is hands-down one of the best days of the year in Charlottesville.

Moral of the Story: Go Play Outside

In closing, I hope that this article can help some of you get out of the North Grounds bubble and experience a little bit more of the vast bounty of activities that Charlottesville has to offer. I promise that you will cherish your memories of getting out of the Law School area much more than you will another hour spent studying in the library, or, even worse, going to a pregame in Pav. You deserve better. You are worth more. Get out there, and have some fun this spring.

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cpg9jy@virginia.edu

[1] Reported by one of Charlottesville’s fledgling news organizations, NBC29. https://www.nbc29.com/2023/02/11/rain-some-sleet-snow-soon/. The Virginia Law Weekly, as always, is honored to help the reputation of its lesser-known imitators and is happy to lend the folks at NBC29 some pointers any time.

[2] Bane, The Dark Knight Rises (2012). And just like the prison in The Dark Knight Rises, we are all trapped in a prison with ever-present freedom, ever out of reach. But it is a prison of our own making. Do we need to join specialty journals in order to put something impressive on our resume, or to fill a void deep inside? Do we need to be on the board of student organizations because we’re genuinely excited about their missions? Or do we do it to delay the inevitable moment when we go home and sit in silence, alone with our thoughts and the terrible knowledge that compound interest is destroying our futures as we speak? Do we need to write an article on a topic that I am clearly still trying to decide upon as I write this very sentence—fun things to do in Charlottesville in the spring, boom—or are we simply paying penance to the current Editor-in-Chief, Dana Lake ’23? Definitely penance. Turn your articles in on time, Law Weeklywriters.

[3] First, is there a more Canadian or Groundhog-ian name than “Fred La Marmotte”? Holy maple leaf! Second, while usually we don’t—and shouldn’t—concern ourselves with what Canada thinks about anything, if there is one thing they know, it is winter. Jordan Mendoza, Fred La Marmotte, Canada’s Groundhog, Found Dead Hours Before Groundhog Day Prediction, USA Today, (Feb. 2, 2023),

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2023/02/02/fred-la-marmotte-dead-groundhog-day/11171427002/.

[4] “A creative writing teacher at San Jose State used to say about clichés: ‘Avoid them like the plague.’ Then he’d laugh at his own joke. The class laughed along with him, but I always thought clichés got a bum rap. Because, often, they’re dead-on. But the aptness of the clichéd saying is overshadowed by the nature of the saying as a cliché.” If I’m being honest, my favorite thing about this quote is how Khaled Hosseini’s creative writing teacher probably really regretted buying all of his friends copies of the book by “this famous author I knew when he was in my class at SJ State.”

[5] Fun fact, this is actually the first brewery I ever went to, during a road trip in college.

[6] 100% veteran-owned and operated!

[7] Also, what ever happened to the band? Are we just not going to talk about this?

[8] Who obviously are really just hoping to pivot into a lucrative podcasting career pretending they’re not political commentators.

[9] I can promise you that I am only sharing this secret because of a deep moral obligation to share a beautiful thing with the world. Enjoy the music, and stay off my lawn.

Belk? More like "Bleck"

Virginia Law Weekly March 2, 2023

Ryan Moore ‘25
Staff Editor

As a proud Ohioan, I find most of the South to be a weird, alien world.[1] So, when I was first assigned this article on Belk, I thought I was being trolled. For those of you who are blissfully unaware, Belk is an American department store chain and apparently a staple of Southern culture. The store was founded in 1888 by William Henry Belk,[2] a South Carolinian merchant. In true Southern fashion, his father (Abel Nelson Washington Belk) was killed in 1865 by Union troops “for refusing to divulge the whereabouts of [a family] gold mine.”[3] Cause of death: drowning.[4]

Speaking of Southern fashion, Belk’s tagline has, since 2010, been “Modern. Southern. Style.” I have no idea what it is now.[5] The store sells Southern-style clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and other fashion accessories. But after hearing Belk also offers a wedding registry, my wife[6] was insistent on experiencing this monument to Southern culture firsthand, and not just because I promised to buy her one item if she accompanied me.

I’m sad to report that after visiting the one Belk store in the Charlottesville area, I was left very unimpressed. To commemorate my disappointment, I will be ranking the six worst items I found at Belk. This will be the worst insult inflicted on the South by an Ohioan since General Sherman’s March to the Sea.[7]

Sixth: Floral Sandals

I included these because there is nothing too egregious about them, but I think they’re mistimed when it’s 40 degrees and rainy outside.

Fifth: “Hideous” Purse

I personally think all purses look the same, but my wife insisted this “hideous” purse should be ranked within the top five.

Fourth: “Blessed” Handbag

I’ve stared at this handbag for twenty minutes, and I can’t understand how it costs $109.99 (plus tax). Is it the material? The beads? Did an actual priest bless it? The world will never know.

Third: Beer Body Soap

Whenever I think of Busch or Budweiser beer, I naturally think of body soap. In all seriousness, why would you want to rub a product on your body that tastes like pee in its liquid form?

Second: “Coal Miner” Face Wash

What could be more masculine than beer soap? A face wash named after a dying profession in a declining industry. I guarantee you actual coal miners are not using this product. They prefer the Dove Sensitive Skin Beauty Bar.

First: Hippie Tom and Jerry T-Shirt

Out of everything I saw at Belk, this t-shirt truly surprised me. A tie-dyed shirt featuring the 1940s cartoon cat and mouse Tom and Jerry is weird enough. But printing “Be One With Nature” on the front? While Tom and Jerry smile at each other, surrounded by flowers? Did the designer of this t-shirt even watch a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Overall, I left Belk very unimpressed. Every dying department store looks and feels the same, but somehow, Belk managed to imprint its famous Southern style on late-stage capitalism. My wife sums up the store as “the perfect place for a ‘mother of the bride’ dress.” I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. But I do know that I never should have crossed the Mason-Dixon line in the first place.

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tqy7zz@virginia.edu

[1] And I’ve lived in Phoenix, Arizona. (Have you ever seen a cholla?)

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belk.

[3] I kid you not. https://www.ncpedia.org/biography/belk-william-henry.

[4] Id.

[5] What am I, a reporter?

[6] Who is an actual reporter.

[7] Little known fact: General Sherman was born in Ohio.

Hogwarts Legacy: Reviewed and Recommended

Virginia Law Weekly March 2, 2023

Will Holt ‘23
Reviews Editor

As a child, I had a dream—a beautiful dream full of wonder and magic and all sorts of adventure. I wanted to be a wizard, and not just any wizard, a wizard with a ticket for a train departing from King’s Cross Station’s Platform Nine and Three-Quarters at precisely 11:00 a.m. At the age of ten, I no longer believed in Santa Claus, but I still maintained a secret hope that upon my next birthday, I would receive a letter of acceptance to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unfortunately, I am now about to turn twenty-five, and I STILL don’t have my damn letter. In recent weeks, however, I have been able to obtain something of a small consolation prize. Portkey Games, a label of Warner Bros. Games, released Hogwarts Legacy, a fully open-world, single-player, role-playing game set within the Harry Potter universe, on February 10 of this year.

There have been a vast number of Harry Potter games released over the past twenty years, but few of them have had any purpose greater than extracting that last bit of revenue to be sponged from the enthusiasm surrounding the then-latest movie. Hogwarts Legacy represents a true deviation from this trend, for it empowers the player to craft his or her own identity and embark on an adventure that is wholly independent from the events of the books and movies. This independence, however, does not mean that the game does not allude to elements in those foundational materials. Naturally, Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and other locations are present—it is set in that world, after all—but, in addition, famous wizarding families such as the Blacks and the Weasleys are present; many famous spells and potions can be mastered; and all manner of our favorite creatures make appearances. These allusions to foundational materials draw in the player, while the unique plot and characters work their magic to keep them invested. The story centers on a brewing goblin rebellion, led by the malevolent and formidable Ranrok during the nineteenth century. The player’s custom-made protagonist is a young witch or wizard entering Hogwarts as a fifth-year who also happens to have a rare and mysterious link to a form of lost magic that was integral to both the rebellion and the creation of Hogwarts itself. The new student must learn quickly, a task aided by the game’s intuitive controls and simple skills-acquisition system, to get up to speed in classes and fight the forces of dark magic. As an open-world game, however, one is not limited to following the main story; there are numerous side quests, challenges, and places to explore. Even attending class is an adventure. In the player’s first Potions class, for example, they have the option of deviating from the assignment to help a Weasley steal an ingredient for a potion that promptly blows up in front of the entire class.

The combat mechanics, I believe, deserve special attention in this review. Dueling and defensive magic are the real draw of the game for many people. Fighting requires the most skill of any activity within the game, and it is where the player is in the gravest danger. I am happy to say that, thus far, I have been impressed with the combat mechanics. As previously mentioned, the game’s controls are intuitive in general, and its structure makes sure that the player is confronted with appropriately challenging opponents. My character certainly has fallen a number of times during my playthrough, but at no point did I ever feel terribly stuck or too frustrated to continue. In addition, non-combat spells can be used in combination with damaging spells to make the latter more effective. The number of spells and the various valid combinations of them make dueling a surprisingly complex and challenging task. In this sense, dueling in Hogwarts Legacy feels more like combat in Assassin’s Creed or Red Dead Redemption than dueling in some other Harry Potter games.

Hogwarts Legacy, unfortunately, has not been free of controversy. Most of it stems from its association with J.K. Rowling, who has been criticized for transphobic comments she has made. Since the game was announced in 2020, some have questioned whether it is appropriate to separate the art from the artist, and a few have even called for consumers to boycott the game. I think this is an overreaction. From what I have read, Rowling has had nothing to do with the development of this specific game, and the game itself goes out of its way to show its good faith. For instance, the character-customization feature is gender-neutral, and a transgender character has been introduced in the universe. Because of these factors, it is my belief that the creators put in real effort to distance themselves from Rowling’s comments and to make the wizarding world an inclusive place (well, except for muggles, that is). In fact, I think Hogwarts Legacy shows what the Harry Potter franchise can accomplish without Rowling’s help. She may have created the marvelous world of magical Britain, but, now more than ever, I have confidence in the abilities of the countless others who have poured hours into making her dream a reality—so long as they are given the creative freedom to take risks and make their visions a reality.

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wjh4ew@virginia.edu

COVID Class Says Goodbye

Virginia Law Weekly February 22, 2023

Law Weekly Triumvirate '23

Sai Kulkarni
Production Editor

It’s hard for me to say goodbye to this paper. My two compatriots, Dana Lake ’23 and Jon Peterson ’23, and I have been doing this from the very start of our time together at the Law School. At a time when everything was under lockdown, the paper provided an outlet that evolved into something I truly care about. Under Dana’s stewardship, the three of us have been able to create something really special. I’m so proud of the great work our fellow writers and editors have done during our time here. I genuinely enjoyed being a part of this, and it’s been an influential part of my Law School experience. I am assured in the notion that the team that takes over now will continue the storied tradition that the Law Weekly stands for. We play an important role here, covering important issues and staying plugged into the social pulse of the student body—I am confident that will continue.

With all that out of the way, I wanted to use the rest of my final word budget to talk about the crazy things I’ve written about here. As Jon so accurately described at last week’s planning meeting, I tend to use my space every week to talk about my social life. I’ve done that for two years, and I’m sure many can say it adds no value. To those people I say: Chill. I’ve enjoyed writing about the party side of the Law School experience and adding some levity to the zeitgeist. But I’ve done some serious writing, too. I’m glad to put a spotlight on trans issues, as I did at the start of the year. I enjoyed covering and discussing former Justice Breyer’s visit to the Law School. Most importantly, I’ve enjoyed adding a witty tone to my COPA opinions exploring issues students have with the administration.

Although I’m proud of the few well-written and serious articles I’ve produced, I still take pride in my unserious articles. I hope that they’ve brought a smile to some people’s faces. I hope that another writer finds that niche in the future. I think we often forget, in the midst of the conditions of the world and the intensity of our program, that life has some true joy. I’ve found friends and amazing experiences here at our Law School. I hope my articles have inspired you, dear readers, to put yourselves out there so you can do the same. But what do I know? I’m just another student finishing their writing assignment in the middle of the night.

Jonathan Peterson
Executive Editor

The Law Weekly has been an important part of my Law School career these past three-ish years. I believe I have contributed to the paper forty-two separate times, including this piece, since I’ve been here. It has been so much more to me than just a fun group of people, although it fits that role as well. For me, the Law Weekly has been a cathartic way to build relationships and have open conversations about the Law School in a creative format. And getting to head the paper with two close friends from my 1L section, who I have worked with on the paper these last three years, was nothing short of ideal.

Law school is generally not an environment that fosters creativity, especially not the kind of creativity that isn’t “productive.” By that, I mean that law school creates hierarchies of importance in our life: class, readings, sleep, food, friendship, exercise. Whatever the hierarchy is, many people struggle to see the point in doing things that don’t fit directly into those categories. This was something I was feeling acutely at the start of my 1L—I was isolated because of COVID, living at home, and just generally adrift. I had the time to do most of the things above—sometimes food, friendship, or exercise might not be prioritized—but I was getting it all done. Still, though, I felt lost in the law. I didn’t feel like myself—I felt like I wasn’t living to live.

Obviously, being a writer on the Law Weekly didn’t suddenly show me the meaning of life. But I do think it was an important experience to help me live well. While friends were asking me how I had the time to step away from my readings to write one or two articles a week, I would wonder how they could mentally handle the stressors of law school without that sort of creative outlet. For me, writing for the Law Weekly has never been extra work. It has always been an opportunity to be creative in an environment that I believe stifles creativity. It is a way to show that I value my own values as much as those imposed on me by my current situation. It was a way to show myself where my priorities were, and that felt good.

And despite spending those two-ish hours per week on writing articles, I’ve done well in my three years here. I’ve had fun, I’ve succeeded academically, and I have a job lined up that I am excited for. In fact, the Law Weekly was one of the only extracurriculars employers actually asked me about. So, if you’re thinking about whether it’s a good idea, it is! Come out and make the paper your own.

Dana Lake
Editor-in-Chief

This paper has survived for seventy-five years because somehow, despite all odds, every new Law School class has a handful of people who want it to succeed. The Law Weekly is a kind of self-selecting sieve, where people who wouldn’t otherwise say hello to each other in the hallway find they have a lot in common—namely, that they are the kind of people to pour their hearts into a labor-intensive project for nothing more than the fact that it is fun to do it. The time our editors invest in researching, writing, editing, and planning editions is no small thing—and it is totally voluntary.[1] They expose their messy personal lives, attend events that don’t even have free food, and brainstorm article ideas they hope someone else will write, all in the pursuit of entertaining our loyal readers. This paper wouldn’t exist without each and every one of you. Thank you for joining, and thanks for sticking around through short course due dates and journal tryouts and memos and moot courts. I’m glad we got to meet.

I believe the paper is better when it has a large group of contributors from different backgrounds and social groups, keeping our obscure inside jokes to a manageable handful per edition. There are events different organizations put on throughout the year that don’t get covered, not because they aren’t important, but simply because we have no one to write on it. I hope more people will consider becoming staff editors, working together with the paper to bring different perspectives to our readers. I hope future Law Weekly Executive Boards will work to continue to improve the diversity of the organization and our management.

This paper is a labor of love, but it is definitely labor.[2] There is certainly no other Law School activity I have committed more time to.[3] I worry about this paper when I’m in the shower, when I’m making coffee, when I’m frantically refreshing my email at 5 p.m. every Sunday… If I was billing for all the emotional hours I spent on this thing over the last three years, it would have my firm rethinking my hourly rate. Maybe that’s surprising to hear, considering the cool-guy, laid-back, laissez faire attitude the paper has carefully cultivated over the decades and also the amount of errors we make in publishing.[4] We sometimes make people unhappy; hopefully, more often than not, we have made you smile.

Despite all that, and despite the huge number of emails I have had to respond to because of the paper, there is no other organization I would rather have spent my time on. Working on the Law Weekly has been fun. I’m going to really miss it.[5] While I’m looking forward to saying hello 3LOL, I am a little sad to say goodbye Law Weekly.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu
jtp4bw@virginia.edu
dl9uh@virginia.edu

[1] Despite what some editors might tell you.

[2] There may be nothing that sums up my Law Weekly experience more than both of the above submissions, heartfelt and compelling as they are, being submitted late.

[3] I won’t specify if this includes class readings.

[4] I myself have had my own articles printed with misspelled headlines, I have overseen editions where Dean “Golubuff” has offered her best wishes to the student body, and I have egregiously conflated Washington State University with the University of Washington.

[5] Though I will move on far more gracefully than some former EICs I could name.

Virginia Law Is for Lovers: A Review of Valentine's Day Feb Club Events

Virginia Law Weekly February 22, 2023

Monica Sandu '24
Co-Executive Editor

Every year, Valentine’s Day catches me off guard. Given retail’s obsession with selling holiday products as early as humanly possible, I’ve been inundated with chocolate hearts and giant teddy bears that say “hug me” on them since December 26, when stores take down all the Christmas gear they’d been offering since August. And then, all of a sudden, it arrived, and I had to confront the fact that I would be spending yet another Valentine’s on my own. Nevertheless, I was looking for a place to socialize and partake in the season’s festivities. As a huge chocoholic whose favorite color happens to be pink, I wanted to be swept away by hopeless romantic wonder. Discount candy and Netflix rom coms just wouldn’t do. Luckily, the Law School’s beloved Feb Club had my back.

Billed as a single’s night, LPS’s Love Island party,[1] hosted on Valentine’s Day, gave me high hopes for a fun and romantic night. Imagine my surprise when I showed up to the Rugby Road address in full themed wear only to discover that the house was, in fact, on Rugby Avenue, and I had just been parked by some random person’s driveway for several minutes, waiting for something to happen. Perhaps the fact that all of the lights were turned off should have been a sign that this was not the house I was looking for. Relief washed over me when I finally made it to the party a full fifteen minutes after it was supposed to start. Imagine my shame—as we all know, nobody ever shows up late to Feb Club parties.

One great thing about law school is that you learn so many new things. That evening, for example, I learned what the game “King’s Cup” was. Given that I was only drinking water,[2] however, I began aiming for cards that would let me drink, since I was—and eternally remain—quite dehydrated. After that, we tried to do a tame, Tuesday-night version of the Love Island game where people write down their secrets and then the group has to try and match the secret to the person. The fun of this activity was dampened by the fact that I had no clue who most of the people at the party were. Still, there were shocking revelations made that night, potentially endangering one’s ability to pass the Character and Fitness portion of the Bar, like the fact that apparently somebody at the Law School makes cookies with premade dough but still calls them homemade. Once I decided to head out, I drove to Kroger in my red dress and heels and bought myself discount chocolate and stuffed animals to my heart’s content before the store inevitably cleared out the shelves by the next day.

While weeknight events are all good and fine, the real fun starts on the weekends. While I was feeling so clever for coming up with the title of this article, it turns out that the name was already claimed by Virginia Law Women’s Friday-night party, “Virginia (Law Women) is for Lovers.” The theme was pink, glitter, hearts, and anything else cheesy and Valentine’s-themed that your heart could ever desire, paired, of course, with everyone’s favorite beer pong and dance tunes. It was as people kept pouring in and the dance floor got increasingly more crowded that I realized something about myself—I am really bad at mingling.

Whenever I’m at a party, I have a hard time talking to people I don’t know because I always feel like I’m intruding on their existing conversation and don’t have a reason to insert myself into their circle besides just wanting to be social. I feel like I need a reason to go and introduce myself to somebody new, but that means that parties like this one can often feel as isolating as they are an opportunity for socializing. The advice I got was to just go for it, walk up to a circle, and ask if I could get in on the conversation. This was against everything in my introverted self, so I went with a tried-and-true method instead: sticking close to the people you know and letting them introduce you to new people. As you start to meet more and more people, the connections expand until you’ve been introduced to at least one person in any given circle of people. My night of dancing and new friendships ended with me finding my one true love—a beautiful milkshake from Cook Out.

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ms7mn@virginia.edu

[1] I have never seen a single episode of Love Island and hadn’t even heard of it until recently. I’m still not 100 percent sure what goes on there, but I can infer some things from context clues.

[2] Stay safe, kids.

A 3L's Take on Barrister's Ball

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Sai Kulkarni '23
Production Editor

This past weekend, I got to take part in my second and final Barrister’s Ball. It was a joyous night and a great opportunity to see the Law School come together to have a great time. It is rare to find an event where law students of all ages, drinkers and nondrinkers, gunners and non-gunners, can have a good time on the same night and in the same place. The event was masterfully designed and executed by two of my dearest friends, Paige Kennett ’23 and Ragan Minor ’23,[1] with plenty of teamwork with SBA President Juhi Desai ’23. The theme was Crystal Ball—an ode to the stars and all things magic. That magic was certainly present all night, from the pregames, to the transportation to the venue, all the way to the afterparty. Each person certainly had their own version of the night, but I think I speak for all of the attendees when I say that I had the time of my life.

Barrister’s, for me, began much earlier in the week in debating which dress I would wear, figuring out how in the world I was going to keep my hair straight all night, and coordinating with my friends about when to get our nails done.[2] The preparation was well worth it, though, because after a little help from a friend with my makeup,[3] I was able to arrive in style to my pregame location.[4] My friends had done a great job of booking a party bus to take us to the venue so that we could have a little extra time together. I have to recommend that to all of the current 2Ls for next year. Although the Barrister’s Committee did a great job of organizing school-wide buses, I have never felt as bougie as I did coming out of a party bus to the Ball. You all deserve to feel that way.

Once we got to Boar’s Head, I was surprised from the start. Even though it was the same venue as last year, it beat my expectations at every turn. The check-in process was smooth, and I was inside in under a minute. The professional photographer and iconic background in the entryway made all of us feel like celebrities. The real improvement came in the libations. With a number of bar stations, I was able to be in and out of line in five minutes every time, a massive step up from last year. There was food on both sides of the dance floor that didn’t run out within the first hour of our arrival. But the real kicker was the décor. The Crystal Ball-themed balloons at the tables and the actual tarot reader really met the theme. The DJ was great at his job and was able to keep the vibes up the entire time that people were dancing.

The party didn’t stop there, however. As we all headed to Rapture for the afterparty, I was secure in the knowledge that, at the very least, the club room was open.[5] But once we got there, I was still set to receive some surprises. It’s one thing to read in an email that the afterparty has food and it is completely different to see it placed in two different locations and constantly be refilled. Whether we got lucky or whether the entire venue was booked for us (still not sure which is true), it felt like a truly unique experience because I did not bump into a single undergrad that night. I was able to sneak out at my convenience and find myself in bed within an hour of reaching the afterparty—concluding my night.

My experience was amazing. The best part was, as it always is for me, the excellent pictures I got to take with all of my wonderful friends. But I am sure everyone had different things they enjoyed. I wanted to take some time to share some closing thoughts on the event and similar events, though. My time on this paper will soon be coming to an end. Over my years writing for the Law Weekly, I have become a bit of a heel, writing about parties, fun, events, and my friends, with only a few brief deviations into the serious. But I did that, passionately, because I believe that such writing has its place. This Barrister’s Ball was truly a night to remember—it’s not the only one, however. Whether it’s Dandelion, Bar Review, events led by student orgs, or any of the Feb Club events, I have always tried to memorialize the fun parts of law school. It’s a stressful time that we go through during our precious three years here. The real world is hard enough as it is. But if we can have good nights, like Barrister’s—and if we get to memorialize them in writing—maybe we can look back on these times with the fondness they deserve before our firms or public interest employers work us to the (mental) bone.

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omk6cg@virginia.edu

[1] Or as I affectionately refer to them, Peggy and Rae.

[2] To all of the men, I will take no criticism for including this, you have it easy. Also, it’s my article.

[3] Thank you to Brecken Petty ’23, you absolute angel.

[4] Morris House. The universe’s gift to partying.

[5] No blame to anyone, but it is less than fun when we have a school-wide event there with only half the bar available.

Celebrate This Valentine's in Small Claims Court

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Anna Bninski '23
Features Editor

Happy Valentine’s Day! If you are looking for a way to fund your romantic dinner (or you simply enjoy having slightly more money, at the expense of digital sexual harassers), let me offer you a potential source of income: Va. Code § 8.01-46.2 (2022), Civil Action for Dissemination of Intimate Images to Another; Penalty.

This new provision in the state code was introduced to the General Assembly last year by notable Law School alumna Jennifer McClellan ’97 and took effect on July 1, 2022. I recommend reading the provision in full, but here’s subsection B, which gets to the gist of the law:

Any person 18 years of age or older who knowingly transmits an intimate image by computer or other electronic means to the computer or electronic communication device of another person 18 years of age or older when such other person has not consented to the use of his computer or electronic communication device for the receipt of such material or has expressly forbidden the receipt of such material shall be considered a trespass and shall be liable to the recipient of the intimate image for actual damages or $500, whichever is greater, in addition to reasonable attorney fees and costs. The court may also enjoin and restrain the defendant from committing such further acts.(emphasis added).

“Okay, great,” you may be thinking. “Someone sent me an unsolicited dick pic. Can I get $500 to purchase high-tier chocolates, and maybe a whole rosebush and a very large stuffed bear?”

The answer, of course, is: It depends. Section 8.01-46.2 doesn’t have a specified statute of limitations, so it falls within Virginia’s general two-year statute of limitations for civil actions.[1] (Also, a mere thirst-trap-type image is unlikely to fall within the statute and yield damages for an offended recipient, as the code defines “intimate image” as “a photograph, film, video, recording, digital picture, or other visual reproduction of a person 18 years of age or older[2] who is in a state of undress so as to expose the human male or female genitals.” (§ 8.01-46.2.A))

So if you suffered the arrival of an unsolicited or unwelcome explicit visual within the last two years, you might think it’s time to hustle and get those papers served! (Best of luck tracking down a physical address for that random internet person.)[3] However, given that the law took effect last July 1, and since we have a pesky constitutional provision[4] forbidding ex post facto laws, you’ll do best to concentrate your demands on images received within the last seven months.

On a more positive note, venue for this action “may lie in the jurisdiction where the intimate image is transmitted from or where the intimate image is received or possessed by the plaintiff.” (§ 8.01-46.2.D). So, wherever you are in the Commonwealth of Virginia, if you still have an unsolicited or unwelcome pic, or if you are still in the area where you received it in the first place, you can just utilize your local court.

You may want to note that Virginia small claims courts have jurisdiction over civil actions when the amount claimed is under $5,000. (Va. Code § 16.1-122.2). So, those doors are open to you.

But since the new statute allows for (reasonable) attorney’s fees, why head to small claims court, representing yourself, when you could throw a bone to a friend recently barred in Virginia by engaging them to represent you in general court? The Law School is famous for its collegiality, after all. What’s more collegial than bringing a fellow UVA alum a little business in the form of salacious litigation? I struggle to think of a higher form of friendship than together utilizing state law to extract money from overenthusiastic “photographers.”[5]

I hope this information is mildly useful, and I wish you all the most heartwarming and lucrative of Valentine’s Days. Happy filing!

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amb6ag@virginia.edu

[1] See Va. Code § 8.01-243 for statute of limitation information, in the event that you’re really interested.

[2] Images of people under eighteen are, of course, a separate and serious criminal matter. See Va. Code § 18.2-374.1:1.

[3] No shade to the dating apps; I met my husband on Bumble. I also opted into a Bumble class action settlement and received a princely $37 payout, so it’s been a win-win for me.

[4] U.S. Const. art. I, §10, cl. 1, for those who are invested in the citations of this predominantly silly article.

[5] This may primarily reflect a failure of my imagination, but I am what I am. On our second date, I told my aforementioned husband that I was “quibbling and litigious.” There’s someone for everyone, apparently. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Three Years of Valentines: A Law Student's Guide to VDay

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Devon Chenelle ‘23
Prose Style Editor

To my shock and bewilderment (time gets weird once the semester begins), I was informed last week that this Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Although the holiday originated as a feast day honoring the Blessed Saint Valentine,[1] following Christmas’s lead, it has become a more pagan festival dedicated to the commemoration of romantic love. For this piece, I shall explore what the day’s celebration reveals about each year of law school by memorializing how I chose to celebrate the day as a 1L, 2L, and 3L.

Valentine’s Day 2021: All is darkness and cold. I am wracked with anxiety as I reflect on the fact that I am barely 75 percent of the way done with my outlines, and finals are a mere three months away. I see my dreams of legal success fluttering about wildly in the wind, as I desperately strain to grasp at them before they permanently elude my ample wingspan to secure my future and my mother’s pride. I trudge through the Charlottesville weather on my way to the Law School, each bite of the wind slapping at my pride and ignorance. Having moved south of the Mason-Dixon line for the first time in my life mere months earlier, I had anticipated a new tropical lifestyle and neglected to bring a single coat or hat to Charlottesville in favor of Hawaiian shirts and swim trunks. The cold winter air of a Central Virginia February reminded me of how little I knew about North American weather patterns, as well as the law, only six months ago, and I shudder to think of how much still lies before me. As I check Reddit before delving into hours studying the ever-elusive Rule Against Perpetuities, I see that it is apparently Valentine’s Day. I shrug and descend into my studies, equally ignorant of the fact that the RAP would never factor into my life again and of the wonders future Valentine’s Days would hold.

Valentine’s Day 2022: The gloom has lifted and the snow has cleared (metaphorically‚—last winter was pretty rough). I am now an accomplished and confident 2L, with not only a Big Law summer offer in hand but, more importantly, a beautiful and intelligent woman by my side. For the first time, we make a traditional romantic evening of the holiday, as my newfound professional and romantic success emboldens me towards experiencing the finer things in life. We head to Fleurie on the Downtown Mall for a multiple-course prix fixemenu and carefully selected wine pairings, with each explained to us by the restaurant’s resident sommelier. The check reaches the table, and I look with horror at a three-digit number that, I believe, started with a 4. “It’s strictly egg ramen from now until June for me,” I think. This was the finest meal I’d had in years, and I couldn’t possibly conceive how normalized fine dining would soon become, as within a few short months, my summer coworkers and I would blithely order every appetizer on the menu to “try things out.”

Valentine’s Day 2023: Life has continued moving quickly, as have my commitments. As my new professional life approaches, my romantic life continues to reach higher peaks. I am now, it seems, a grown man, with romantic and professional commitments to boot, far from the callow youth terrified of his 1L professors. My lovely and intrepid partner and I have resolved to surpass our culinary excellence from the previous year with an experience sure to satisfy even our refined cultural tastes. In between fielding the never-ending emails flowing into my inbox (I resolve that my commitment to responsiveness will begin now) and the research project I have made my major goal for 3L, I find myself headed to Manhattan, where my date and I will attend one of the first shows of a major Broadway production featuring an American movie starlet cultivating her acting chops by turning to the stage instead of the silver screen. Yet I have not completely outgrown what Charlottesville can provide: I was able to find a delightful, artisanal gift on the Downtown Mall, evincing the taste and artistry that truly makes Charlottesville such a wonderful place to spend three years. I love that, as I have spent time here and, in truth, grown up, this town has been able to keep pace with me, providing me a wonderful first location for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner, and, even as new commitments draw me to other locales, still offering wonderful opportunities for development and, yes, shopping.

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dnc9hu@virginia.edu

[1] Precisely which Saint Valentine is meant to be honored by the day is historically unclear, though my Catholic education demands at least a cursory review. There are apparently two competing candidates to be “the” Saint Valentine, both of whom were martyred by the Romans during the Third Century A.D.

Left Holding the Bag: The Albemarle County Bag Tax

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Caleb Stephens '23
Technology Editor

When I returned from winter break, I had a number of things I had to do. Acquire textbooks, check the mail, do laundry, and, of course, restock on perishable food. As per usual, I visited Sam’s Club, where business proceeded normally. Unfortunately, I had some items I needed to buy elsewhere, so I drove across the street to Walmart. All was calm until I reached the self-checkout, only to be rudely asked how many bags I needed. The screen had the audacity to charge me a whole five cents per bag that I used. Now, I’m not one to begrudge “nudge” methods for getting people to change their behavior. But I do strongly dislike having to pay for something that was formerly free. I like it even less when it’s a tax.

Looking at this tax charitably, it’s intended to encourage reuse of the bags. A Danish study in 2018 looked at a number of alternatives to the standard plastic grocery bag.[1] It’s a fascinating read, but the conclusion was that across most environmental factors, the standard plastic grocery bag had the lowest environmental impact, followed by the standard paper bag. Most reusable grocery bags have to be reused at least forty times to have the same environmental impact as a standard plastic bag. Shockingly, cotton bags are among the worst on this scale, having to be reused over 7,000 times before having the same environmental impact as a single plastic bag.[2] Organic cotton is even more resource-intensive to create, requiring 20,000 uses to match a single plastic bag.[3]

Even aside from the environmental concerns, a change like this doesn’t come without side effects. In a study that examined what happened when San Francisco banned single-use bags, emergency room visits for E. coli increased by one-fourth.[4] Of course, this isn’t a ban, but the bag tax is definitely intended to increase use of reusable bags. Reusable bags are fine, as long as you keep them clean. And by clean, you pretty much have to wash them after every use, particularly if you buy meat or produce, both of which tend to carry contaminants. The problem with this is, first, it’s a pain to remember to do, particularly when you need to remember to put the bags back in the car (not to mention the fact that leaving bags in a car trunk substantially increases the growth of bacteria in the bags).[5] Second, washing bags substantially adds to their environmental cost. Third, it decreases the usable life of the bag, which, again, adds to the environmental cost. Most people simply don’t wash their bags. Which, unfortunately, increases cases of sickness and even death.

Not only do reusable bags cause public health concerns, but even just a bag tax adds 3 percent to checkout time.[6] While that’s not a lot of time, it does add up, particularly when there’s a long line of shoppers. Fortunately, there are exceptions to the tax that the store won’t tell you. Before I explain the exceptions, I have to give the disclaimer that this is not to be construed as tax advice in any way, shape, or form, so if you get prosecuted for tax evasion for following my explanation, it’s not my fault. That said, the Charlottesville website says the tax does not apply to “[p]lastic bags solely used to wrap, contain or package the following types of goods in order to prevent damage or contamination.”[7] This is followed by a list of items that includes ice cream, meat, produce, or perishable food items. Presumably, this is intended to apply to those thin bags on a roll that are provided to put meat or produce in, but the inclusion of ice cream on the list is confusing, and the plain text of the rule provides no description of the bags which would indicate a difference between the bags provided on a roll and the bags provided at a checkout.[8] The intent behind this exception is obvious: to prevent contamination or damage to the products, as the rule says. I suspect this was added to prevent lawsuits for potential E. coli or salmonella cases arising from mingling items in the grocery cart, as that risk was explained above.

So, what’s the conclusion? What should you do? Well, if you want to have the lowest environmental impact, use the standard plastic bags, and try to reuse them as much as possible (reuse as trash bags is highly recommended, and more environmentally friendly than regular trash bags). Recycling grocery bags, while potentially beneficial, is not nearly as efficient as reuse. I recommend getting a bag of bags, a container of some sort to store old grocery bags, and simply trying to avoid trashing the bags unless they’ve been used for meat or something else perishable. Standard plastic grocery bags are great for what they do, and they’re a miracle of modern engineering. I, for one, am incredibly grateful that I can use those bags to line my rubbish bin and avoid the mess of having to clean the inside of a wicker basket.[9] I’ll be doing as much of my shopping as I can at Sam’s or at the Ruckersville Walmart, which is outside of Charlottesville’s jurisdiction. If you want to use the nicer reusable bags, you’re just going to have to eat the environmental cost and wash them. Best practices are to store reusable bags in your home, wash them after each use, and never mix meat and produce in the same bag.[10] Food poisoning is absolutely no fun, and avoiding it should be a high priority.

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cs8ws@virginia.edu

[1] Danish Env’t Prot. Agency, Life Cycle Assessment of Grocery Carrier Bags (Feb. 2018), https://www2.mst.dk/udgiv/publications/2018/02/978-87-93614-73-4.pdf. The UN also did a meta-analysis of grocery bags, but the Danish study seems to be the most reliable overall. See U.N. Env’t Programme, Single-Use Plastic Bags and Their Alternatives (2020), https://www.lifecycleinitiative.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/SUPP-plastic-bags-meta-study-8.3.21.pdf for the meta-analysis.

[2] Id. at 17–18.

[3] Id.

[4]Jonathan Klick & Joshua D. Wright, Grocery Bag Bans and Foodborne Illness (U. Pa. L. Sch. Inst. for L. & Econ., Research Paper No. 13-2, 2012), https://ssrn.com/abstract=2196481.

[5] Cleaning Reusable Bags, A Clean and Vibrant Future, https://www.cleaninginstitute.org/cleaning-tips/clothes/fabric-care/cleaning-reusable-bags, (last accessed Feb 13, 2023).

[6] Rebecca L.C. Taylor, A Mixed Bag: The Hidden Time Costs of Regulating Consumer Behavior, 7 J. Ass’n Env’t & Res. Economists209 (2020).

[7] Disposable Plastic Bag Tax, Virginia Tax, https://www.tax.virginia.gov/disposable-plastic-bag-tax, (last accessed Feb 13, 2023).

[8] Plastic Bag Tax, City of Charlottesville, https://charlottesville.gov/1620/Plastic-Bag-Tax, (last accessed Feb 13, 2023).

[9] Not that I use wicker baskets. I’m not actually an octogenarian, even if I sound like one. I use one-gallon buckets, they’re the perfect size, cheap, and easy to move around or clean in case of incidents.

[10] The American Cleaning Institute has a great guide to bag care available on their website. Cleaning Reusable Bags, American Cleaning Institute, https://www.cleaninginstitute.org/cleaning-tips/clothes/fabric-care/cleaning-reusable-bags (last accessed Feb 13, 2023).

Back by Popular Demand: Ranking White Lotus Season 1

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Ethan Brown ‘25
Staff Editor

People say lightning doesn’t strike twice, but as you might have seen in last week’s issue, I feel very strongly about HBO’s hit series The White Lotus—perhaps too strongly. After authoritatively ranking some of Season 2’s characters, I now feel compelled to go back in time and evaluate where it all started: Season 1. So put on your best floral shirt and come with me to the sandy shores of Hawaii, where we met the original cast of horrible, despicable, absolutely-no-good characters that piqued my interest in the show to begin with.

Bottom Tier

The Entire Mossbacher Family

I’m assuming at this point that if you—the humble reader—are committing to the bit of reading not one but TWO articles concerning a random gay boy’s meditations on White Lotus characters, you’ve probably watched the show. So I’ll cut to the chase: Every single member of the Mossbacher family is a stinker.

Matriarch Nicole, played by Connie Britton (love her work), comes off at first as a power CEO #girlboss but is actually an unsympathetic #badperson. She almost had me in the first half of the season. “Awh,” I thought. “She’s doing her best juggling her stressful job and her family.” Tender! But at every turn, Nicole takes the lazy way out. In dealing with her annoying-ass son, Quinn, who can’t go two seconds without looking at a phone, does she try to engage with him and get to the root of his tech addiction? No. She just buys him a new iPhone and ships it to the resort. When her performative and vindictive daughter, Olivia, challenges her on what it’s like to be a woman in the workplace, does she have a genuine conversation with her only daughter about removing barriers to access? No. She says straight white men, like Quinn and her husband Mark, are the ones truly suffering in the contemporary workplace. But honestly, who can blame Nicole for being a bit of a mess, cutting corners when it’s easy for her? Her husband Mark is too busy crying about the fact that his dad was a receptive partner in gay sex (let alone that HE DIED OF AIDS, which, I don’t know, seems a bit more devastating!). Honestly, I’d have been so happy to have let these four stew in their own dysfunction after the first episode and to have never seen them again.

Paula

Olivia Mossbacher’s college friend joins the family on their trip, too. Maybe it’s my guilt from having gone on some lovely trips before with the families of friends and significant others, but girl, respect the cardinal rule of travel: If someone invites you somewhere nice and pays for thousands of dollars of your accommodations, dining, and entertainment, don’t be a spoilsport who sulks every meal and gets high in the living room. Etiquette, my dude.

Tanya

I have no more words to describe my contempt for this woman. See Virginia Law Weekly, February 8, 2023.

Middle Tier

Rachel

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. I have lots of empathy for her, because I imagine realizing that your husband sucks while on your honeymoon is a bit of a sticky wicket. But I can’t put Rachel in the Top Tier because her realization begs the question: How on god’s green Earth did it take you this long?

Shane is objectively an awful person—I couldn’t even put him ON this list or I’d have gotten too feisty to do my readings afterwards. He’s petty, petulant, and childish; there’s also a one-in-one chance that he cheats on Rachel the instant she turns thirty-five. So I can obviously respect Rachel’s deep disappointment and hurt at realizing her marriage is a mistake. But I have to cast some serious doubt on her decision making that it took her this long to wake up. And did she really think that going to fancy resorts in Hawaii and TAHITI with other rich people was going to make her anal retentive partner somehow less annoying? Her’s is a tragic story, but one that she let herself roll right into.

Armond

Armond is such a mixed bag. Pros: Self-possessed. Witty. A relatable “every-man” character who effectively represents the audience’s disgust with the resort clientele. Gay icon. Dope outfits. Cons: His rampant sexual harassment of his employees. The fact that I had to see his CGI-generated poop.[1] But as a big fan of Looking, another HBO show I would highly recommend, I already loved actor Murray Bartlett before this season, and it’s hard not to adore Armond’s character as a result. To be honest, he’s only in the Middle Tier because it would have been simply too easy to put him in the Top Tier, and that is not the sort of rigorous journalism the Law Weekly is renowned for worldwide.[2]

Lani

Do any of you remember the resort employee in the first episode who gave birth, served as a focal point for the entire hour-long program, and then we absolutely never saw her again? Until I looked at HBO’s website to refresh my memory of the season’s characters and saw her, I didn’t. I hope she is well.

Top Tier

Belinda

Belinda deserves everything. Watching her get led on by Tanya—who promises to support her bold idea for a holistic wellness center, only to crush her hopes when Tanya starts seeing Greg—was genuinely heartwrenching. While I bemoaned watching that, I cheered in equal measure when Belinda put her foot down later in the season, refusing to provide guidance to a sobbing Rachel after hours. From what we see of Belinda, she is kind, thoughtful, and fiercely competent. I was sad to only see her strictly through the eyes of the resort’s guests, which I know was a conscious directing choice but disappointed me nonetheless. I live in a dream world where, after Armond’s death, Belinda took over as manager, embezzled millions of dollars from the resort’s coffers, and started a new life in a party city. Because she earned it.

Thank you for coming with me on this journey once more. I’ll see you all again for a Season 3 recap, god willing, at some point in the near future!

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

[1] I hope it was CGI-generated…

[2] Disclaimer: I was not paid by Editor-in-Chief Dana Lake ’23 for this comment.

Follow Your Path

Virginia Law Weekly February 15, 2023

Dana Lake '23
Editor-in-Chief

Note from the Editor: Scott Meacham ’04 was the Editor-in-Chief of the Law Weekly for the 03-04 editions. As EIC he expanded the Law Weekly’s online presence, setting the groundwork for what would become the lawweekly.org you know, love, and read during class. A lifelong lover of architecture and urban design, he earned his Master’s in Architectural History at the same time as his JD. After graduating from the Law School, Meacham went on to work with the National Legal Research Group here in Charlottesville, before working as a legislative attorney for the General Assembly. He served both the House and Senate Natural Resource Committees. Meacham passed away from pancreatic cancer this last January, leaving behind a wife and daughter. We have republished our favorite piece of his here (unedited) for you to enjoy, first published in edition 55.23, April 4 2003.

It's not a metaphor; it’s a literal command. You need to stop walking exclusively on the pavement, obeying the wooden stakes and their little ropes scattered around the Law Grounds. Strike out across the grassy expanses of Spies Garden and the Green Lawn. Try taking the shortest route between two points. Soon, a footpath will emerge.

Look at the great urban and collegiate spaces of this country—Boston Common, the Dartmouth Green, Harvard Yard. Each is crisscrossed with a network of footpaths that is perfectly suited to moving residents to all the places they want to go; yet few of these paths are the products of a planner or an architect who sat down with blueprints and cost estimates. When you see a shortcut—an unpaved, irregular path—you know exactly what the person who created it had in mind. I had a professor who called these good, fast paths “Lines of Desire.” Perhaps a path shows what people aren’tthinking as well—real paths are instinctual, primal, and biologically efficient. These paths grow out of real people’s actions, sort of a common law of foot transportation as compared to statutes that the architects lay down in concrete. Real paths, while ungoverned, are not unordered.

UVA seems to have few such paths. Now that most historic uses have departed Jefferson’s Lawn, leaving the center of the campus as a hole in the doughnut of University activity, the small numbers of hurrying students that remain fail to create a vibrant network. The absence of paths at the Law School is striking as well, but easier to explain since the School was created after the advent of concrete and the professional architect. One surely cannot blame the docility of law students—are we so easily corralled by ropes and pavement and the threat of reprimand that we can’t crumple a blade of grass in order to get to class quicker?

Once enough people disobey the ropes, something permanent will emerge. A set of nice paths crossing Spies Garden diagonally in a variety of directions will appear. The quickest way to get from the north end of Slaughter to the library is through the center of Spies, and the shortest route from the faculty parking lot to Brown is across the Green Lawn—and students will express this with their feet. Because people will naturally stick to a few routes once they emerge, this new set of paths will not destroy the precious lawns of the Law School’s two outdoor spaces. Instead, a lattice of living walkways that represents the denizens of the law school will emerge, enlivening the campus.

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dl9uh@virginia.edu

Ocelots: Yowls, Meows, and the Language of Love

Virginia Law Weekly February 8, 2023

Jon Peterson '23
Co-Executive Editor

Pictured: An Ocelot.
Credit: The Nature Conservancy.

Ocelots are a species of cats in the subfamily Felinae, meaning they are considered a part of the “small cat” grouping. However, they are one of the largest of the small cats and stand about as tall as a grown man’s knee. And considering that these cats are between twenty-nine and thirty-nine inches long and can weigh upwards of thirty-five pounds, they are certainly still fearsome predators despite their classification as small cats.[1]

Ocelots are well known for their beautiful camouflage. Each cat has its own unique pattern.[2] These patterns consist of solid black markings which create stripes, spots, and closed and open bands on a “creamy, tawny, yellowish, reddish gray, or gray background color.”[3] An interesting feature of ocelot physiology that is not exclusive to the species, but inherent in all cats, is the backwards-facing, hollow, flexible, cone-like structures on cats’ tongues, called “papillae.” These structures aid in grooming, eating, and drinking, and have even been the inspiration for new designs for combs and other grooming products, both for people and animals.[4] These are also why, if you’ve ever been licked by a cat, their tongues feel rough and sandpaper-y.

Lifestyle

Ocelots can be found in Arizona, Texas, Mexico, Central America, and all of South America except for Chile. The cats have adapted to a wide range of environments, including thorny scrublands, coastal marshes, mangrove forests, savanna grasslands, and tropical and subtropical forests.[5] The ocelot is, due in large part to its wide range and adaptability, currently listed as a species of “Least Concern” by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.[6] However, despite being listed as “Least Concern,” this doesn’t paint the full picture. The strength of ocelot populations varies widely depending on the region. In Mexico and the U.S., for example, ocelots are considered endangered.[7] In Argentina, Columbia, Brazil, and parts of the Amazon basin outside of Brazil, the cat is listed as vulnerable.[8] This is true because ocelots are heavily impacted by habitat loss and forest fragmentation from logging activities.[9] They are also negatively impacted by vehicle collisions, as well as other farming practices.[10] Not only that, but ocelots do not have a short list of predators that they need to worry about. Harpy eagles, anacondas, coyotes, and alligators would all happily eat an ocelot for dinner. And, because of habitat loss restricting territories and constricting resources, confrontations between ocelots and larger cats like jaguars and cougars are becoming increasingly common. These end at best in an escape for the ocelot, and at worst in the ocelot’s death.[11]

In order to avoid confrontations with these larger cats and other predators, ocelots are primarily nocturnal animals. During the day, these cats sleep in trees and bushes. But at night they travel between one and five miles, typically killing a prey source every 3.1 hours of traveling.[12] Ocelots typically hunt smaller prey and only need about one-and-three-quarters of a pound of food each day to satisfy their energy requirements.[13] Usually this consists of rabbits and other rodents, fish, frogs, and birds.[14] At times, however, ocelots will target larger meals like deer, sheep, peccaries (medium sized, pig-like animals), iguanas, and monkeys.[15] Their choice of diet ultimately depends on the region in which the ocelot resides.

Interestingly, ocelots are quite picky eaters. In fact, they will remove the fur or feathers from their prey before they eat it.[16] Their method of hunting is also quite fascinating. Ocelots follow scent trails to acquire prey. However, they move incredibly slowly while doing it, walking at about 0.2 miles per hour while searching. Some even sit at one spot and wait for thirty minutes to an hour before, if unsuccessful, switching locations at a faster, yet still painstakingly slow, rate of 0.5 to 0.9 miles per hour.[17]

Ocelots are typically solitary animals. Males have larger territories—about 3.5 to 46 kilometers—compared to females—0.8 to 15 kilometers. Territories rarely overlap between two ocelots of the same sex; however, it is not uncommon for one male’s territory to contain the territories of multiple females within it. Interestingly, one of the more social sides of an ocelot’s life is in their bathroom habits. Ocelots have been seen using communal sites for depositing scat (pooping), which have been termed “latrines.”[18] Kittens typically stay with their mothers for up to two years before heading out on this solitary lifestyle.

Unlike cats in the subfamily Panthera—cats capable of roaring—ocelots do not roar; instead, ocelots “chuckle” when excited and may “mutter” to one another.[19] They also employ both yowls and meows during courtship.[20] During the mating season, which varies regionally, male and female ocelots will mate between five and ten times daily.[21] Female ocelots become sexually mature between eighteen and twenty-two months of age whereas males become sexually mature around fifteen months.[22] In the wild, ocelots live around thirteen years on average,[23] and they may live to twenty years of age in captivity.[24]

Cultural Significance

While I cannot hope to cover the true cultural significance of the ocelot to Aztec and Incan cultures, I still believe it is important to note here. Ocelots were depicted across both Incan and Aztec mythology and through every artistic medium of those cultures.[25] It’s clear from the artistic and religious attention these creatures received that they were very significant. However, due to my own cultural incompetence on the subject and a limited amount of space that I’ve already surpassed, I suggest that anyone interested in learning more do their own outside research.

Interestingly, ocelots can make okay pets, although I would highly recommend against it.[26] They are energetic, playful, agile creatures. And, because of their size, even a well-intentioned attempt at play from an ocelot could leave an owner injured. However, it is true that when raised carefully, ocelots can be highly affectionate animals.[27]

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jtp4bw@virginia.edu

[1] Alina Bradford, Facts About Ocelots, Live Science, (June 15, 2016), https://www.livescience.com/55072-ocelot-facts.html. Males weigh between fifteen and thirty-four pounds, while females clock in at fourteen-and-a-half to twenty-five pounds. I would further point out that all cats are fearsome predators, regardless of their size.

[2] Just like a beautiful snowflake.

[3] Ocelot, Wikipedia, (last visited Feb. 4, 2023), https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocelot.

[4] Carrie Arnold, How Cat Tongues Work–and Can Inspire Human Tech, Nat. Geo., (Nov. 19, 2018),https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/understanding-cat-tongues-papillae. An entire article could be dedicated to papillae and how they function, and, in fact, entire articles have. People more interested should watch Zefrank1’s Youtube video “True Facts: Cat’s Killer Senses.” While a bit crass at times, if you enjoy the niche humor, the video is very informative (as are all of his videos).

[5] Ocelot, IUCN, (May 10, 2014), https://www.iucnredlist.org/species/11509/97212355.

[6] Id.

[7] Bradford, supra note 1.

[8] Id.

[9] IUCN, supra note 5.

[10] Id.

[11] Wikipedia, supra note 3.

[12] Ocelot, Defenders of Wildlife, (last visited Feb. 4, 2023), https://defenders.org/wildlife/ocelot.

[13] Wikipedia, supra note 3.

[14] Bradford, supra note 1.

[15] Wikipedia, supra note 3.

[16] Bradford, supra note 1.

[17] Wikipedia, supra note 3.

[18] Id.

[19] Bradford, supra note 1.

[20] Id.

[21] Jessi Kittel, Leopardus paradalis ocelot, (2011), https://animaldiversity.org/accounts/Leopardus_pardalis/.

[22] Bradford, supra note 1.

[23] Id.

[24] Wikipedia, supra note 3.

[25] Id.

[26] It is, in fact, illegal in many states.

[27] Id. In fact, Salvador Dali had a pet ocelot named Babou. Id.

White Lotus Comes to Charlottesville

Virginia Law Weekly February 8, 2023

Ethan Brown ‘25
Staff Editor

If you’re cool, you probably know that Lambda hosted the best Feb Club event, a cheeky ode to the hit HBO show White Lotus, this past Saturday, February 4. If you’re really cool, you came to our party in your finest resort wear, equipped with sunglasses, floral tops, and sandals despite it being a brisk twenty degrees outside. But only the coolest people at our party were capable of having a prolonged conversation with me about the virtues and vices of each character on the show.[1] For the HBO virgins among us, and for the benefit of future generations who crave the sort of bacchanalian excess and psychosocial drama that the show entails, here is my authoritative master list ranking some of the main characters in Season 2 of White Lotus.[2] Obviously, spoiler alert.

The Bottom Tier

Tanya

No shade to Jennifer Coolidge, who should probably be our next president, but let’s be completely honest: Her character in White Lotus is morally reprehensible and extremely annoying. I’m all for respecting childhood trauma and its lasting impacts on functioning in adulthood, but girlie: You. Need. A. Therapist. Tanya ravages through Hawaii and Sicily, desperately exploiting the people around her for social and emotional labor, whether it’s wellness instructor Belinda in Season 1 (miss her) or her assistant Portia in Season 2 (bleh—more on her later). She’s a legend in the queer community for her iconic line “These gays are trying to murder me,” but genuinely, getting killed off is her only saving grace. Because, if I had to watch one more moment of her pretending her life was hard while she sat on a net worth of half a billion dollars, I was going to shove her off that boat myself.[3]

Albie

Ew! Albie is too much. For those who haven’t seen the show, Albie is a sensitive Stanford alum on a trip to Sicily with his father and grandfather. He presents himself as a good guy, boy-next-door-type who “loves and respects women,” but then, when push comes to shove and a woman (Portia) rejects him early in the season, he acts so wounded and frail that it’s clear Albie thought he was entitled to her because he played by the rules. Get out of here with your little performative and fragile nice guy persona. I have no time for it. (But also, please don’t actually leave. Actor Adam DiMarco is beautiful and needs to grace my television screen more frequently.)

Portia

I know I just defended Portia in both Tanya’s and Albie’s entries, but to be fair, she also sucks. We don’t know too much about Portia’s background, but she’s introduced to us as Tanya’s beleaguered assistant, a role that would give any self-respecting person a nervous breakdown. While I obviously have a lot of sympathy for her as Tanya’s confidante, Portia is one of the worst types of millennials: the “omg, I hate my phone, I want to go experience the world and live life!!!” type. This is annoying for two reasons: First, appreciate that you have the luxury of wasting your time on your iPhone 11—that’s a privilege, not a punishment. And second, it is quite simply so easy to start “living life.” Go on a walk for thirty minutes a day. Try a yoga class. Make yourself a matcha latte. Turn off your phone after 6 p.m. There are so many things that could improve Portia’s quality of life, but she seems unwilling to actually do the work to do them—which upon writing that on paper, maybe explains why she and Tanya get along so well…

The Top Tier

Valentina

A tragic hero: This is a Valentina stan article. The closeted hotel manager of the White Lotus, Valentina is introduced to us as a harsh supervisor who enjoys screaming at her subordinates—but over the course of the season, she’s revealed as a shy and lonely woman searching for intimacy in a place incredibly hostile to it. While Valentina’s arc is certainly a C plot that doesn’t get too much air time, we get to see some touching moments—like her tryst with Mia and her quiet, lonely lunch with village cats—that make her one of the more likable characters in the season.

Daphne

Daphne is the dissociated and detached queen we all aspire to be. Her toxic marriage to Cameron aside, Daphne comes to Sicily with a mission: Have fun and give no f***s. And she does it. As her week at the White Lotus progresses, she goes through everything from facing allegations of her husband’s infidelity to discovering a dead body at the beach. One would think that those events might be hard to handle, but not for Daphne. Whenever she faces an obstacle, she just smiles vacantly for a minute, says everything is fine, and goes off to either get a $1,000 facial or rent an entire Italianate villa. It isn’t the best mental health strategy, but Daphne refuses to let anything get in the way of her experiencing the bacchanalian pleasures of Sicily. And I have to respect the hustle.

Greg

An insanely chaotic pick, but talk about respecting the hustle: Greg was playing the long game. For new watchers, Greg is Tanya (super rich annoying woman)’s husband, who is revealed to have staged a multi-year plan to marry Tanya, then kill her and capture her entire fortune. This is clearly bad (I took Crim Law—first degree murder, baby). But to have spent years carefully cultivating a marriage, especially when Greg is implied to be gay or at least very close to some gay murderers in Italy, is an impressive feat. And given how horrible I think Tanya is, maybe he’s almost doing the world a favor by trying to take her out.

I had to leave out so many good characters of the show: Harper and Lucia are well-deserving runners up for the top tier. But I hope this list inspires you to spend some time watching the show, so you can develop your own list, and we can discuss the psychosocial drama of these annoying people together.

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bwj2cw@virginia.edu

[1] After 9:00 p.m., I sincerely apologize for anyone who had to stomach one of these conversations with me because I was simply on another, spectral plane.

[2] Season 2 is objectively superior to Season 1.

[3] Spoilers!